(Scene starts off in the newly reformed fairy tail guildhall with Natsu and Lucy)
Natsu: Lucy, I want to talk to you about something
Lucy: what is it?
Natsu: I noticed the things you said under you're breath, about how I abandoned you, I just wanna say that I'm sorry for leaving you, but the reason being I lost my Dad, he died right in front of my eyes, all because I wasn't strong, I left to get stronger to protect the one thing I can't live without, you and I didn't take you with me because I thought you'd have the guild, but that is no excuse to leave you alone. What I wanna say is I love…
(Explosion standing on the rubble is Kenan Thompson, Kyle Mooney and Cecily Strong)
Gajeel: OH COME ON WE JUST FIXED THAT
Gray: I know, I got a buttload of splinters making the door
Juvia: Who are these guys?
Kyle: We are *gets struck with Fire Dragon's Iron Fist by Natsu*
Kenan: DAMN
*Erza summons her Wingblade Armor everyone battle ready*
Erza: Who dares attack our Guild?
Cecily: Wait, wait we got a letter for Mr. Natsu Dragneel
Natsu: It really better be important, you ruined a very important moment in my life.
*Natsu reads letter*
Lucy: What does it say?
Natsu: It appears that I've been chosen to host Saturday Night Live
Gray: seriously they chose this pyromaniac over me
Juvia: Juvia this you would have been a great host
Levy: if that is the case, why did you blow up the front door?
Kenan: well since you guys are wizards and Kyle being a grade A dummy decided to try a spell and accidentally blew a hole in your wall
Gajeel: and we're the ones normally doing the property damage
Lucy: are gonna do it?
Natsu: why not It seems fun and we can do it together, I mean we did knock out one of the cast how about it guys
*Everyone cheers*
Lucy: well I guess you guys got your answer also *grabs Natsu's face and kisses him* I love you too Natsu Dragneel
Natsu: well there is only one thing to do
Natsu and Lucy: LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT
(Skit 1)
Narrator: Live from New York, It's Saturday Night Live Starring-Vanessa Bayer, Aidy Bryant, Taran Killam, Kate McKinnon, Bobby Moynihan, Jay Pharoah, Cecily Strong, Kenan Thompson, Beck Bennett, Pete Davidson, Leslie Jones, Kyle Mooney, Sasheer Zamata and Our host Natsu Dragneel
^Saturday night live fanfare^
Ladies and Gentlemen- Natsu Dragneel
Natsu: Thank you, Thank you, it is an honor to be here hosting Saturday Night Live, and everyone don't worry the New York fire department is on Standby outside the building, anyway I am so happy to be hosting, a lot of good thing have been happening in Fairy Tail, The Guild is back together, we're getting another movie is coming out next year and me personally killed a god with only two punches, so top that Kratos. Anyway I won't be the only person doing the skits here with me are some of my Guild mates my little buddy Happy
Happy: Aye sir
Natsu: the subzero stripper Gray Fullbuster and his #1 fan/girlfriend Juvia Lockser
Gray: Hey I still got my shirt on, you dumbass pyro
Juvia: At least he was right about me *glomps Gray*
Natsu: Gonna let that slide, anyway we also have our new guildmaster Erza 'Titania' Scarlett
Erza: *Paralyzed by fear*
Natsu: Okay we'll come back to her next is the Iron Lizard Gajeel Redfox and the smartest wizard surprisingly metal mouth's girlfriend in Fairy Tail Levy McGarden
Gajeel: I'd insult you, but I much rather use this time to talk about my new single *holds up CD with Gajeel with a Guitar on the cover* hitting the shelves and iTunes next Friday.
Levy: *sweat drop* really not the time for Self endorsement Gajeel
Natsu: and finally the woman I adore, Lucy Heartfilia, seriously anyone touch her and I will unleash fire dragon fury *holds up flaming fist*
Lucy: Love you too, baby and please don't try to maim anyone
Natsu: anyway we got an awesome show for you tonight, and I'm all fired up.
Announcer: Tonight on Iron Chef, we have Gary Irons (Gajeel) a chef from Fiore that is just starting out will he wow our judges or will he have to hang up his apron, their dishes will be judged by our celebrity judges Sara Rowling (Levy), Jacob Avery (Bobby) and Aleisha Vale (Vanessa)
Bobby: Okay, Gary show us what you got.
Gajeel: sure thing Jacob *puts down plates full of metal, sauces with a side salad*
Bobby: uh what exactly is this?
Gajeel: well here we have iron pipe la mode, scrap steak and nuts and bolts salad
Bobby: are you telling us to eat a plate of metal? Because I don't think that is possible.
*Gajeel grabs a piece of pipe la mode and eats, chews then swallows it * what was that about not being possible
*Bobby and Vanessa took a small bite out of the meals*
Vanessa: well there was a unique taste, but I can certainly say that this meal has caused some internal bleeding and need immediate medical assistance.
Bobby: I took one bite and I lost three teeth *holding teeth in his hand*
Gajeel: *Looking at Levy* what about you shrimp, why didn't you take a bite.
Levy: besides the fact that this food is completely inedible *gives Gajeel a flirty look and put a finger on his chest* I much rather have you and me have dinner at the Italian restaurant across the street*
Gajeel: * gives Levy a flirty look as well* It's a date
*both walk offstage*
(Skit 2)
Bobby: so do we still have to eat this?
You don't know what she says, but that's okay,
Because she's stuttering Suzie,
She is just so damn shy.
And we do not know why
She may have a stutter but her life is in the gutter
She is Stuttering Suzie
*we enter a house with Suzie (Erza), Monica (Aidy), Lily(Cecily) and Kassandra (Leslie)*
Leslie: Suzie, thank you for inviting us over
Erza: *incoherent stutter*
Cecily: Word is that you have a date tonight, and he is very cute
Erza: *blushes and responds with and incoherent stutter*
Aidy: well let's just hope he doesn't end up like my ex-husband; those are 10 years I'm not getting back
*everyone stares at Aidy*
Cecily: anyway, I heard he is a bad boy.
Leslie: Oh you know what they say about bad boys
Aidy: they have crabs
*Everyone looks at Aidy*
Leslie: no, anyway where are you two going anyway?
Erza: *stutters uncontrolably*
Cecily: Oh That fancy French restaurant, nice
Aidy: The only romantic dinner my Ex and I had was at the soup kitchen
Leslie: you really need to shut up about your ex, seriously it's over, shut up about it.
Cecily: so Suzie, are you nervous?
Erza: yeah, but ….you know…. What… I'm going to… do my best not… to stutter… and not make a fool of myself
*doorbell rings*
Leslie: that must be him
*they all run for the door and open it*
Jellal: hello, Suzie
*Erza faints*
She is Stuttering Suzie
(Skit 3)
*Our scene starts out at a beach during winter and it is Snowing Natalie (Juvia) his boyfriend Blue (Gray), her mother Olivia (Vanessa), the father Patrick (Kyle) and sister Emily (Cecily) are in swimwear *
Kyle: Well gang we are here
Gray: I just want to say that thank you for allowing me to Tag along so I can be with Nat here,
Juvia: Aww you're a big softie
Vanessa: *shivers*Brrr, Pat are you sure coming here in December was a good idea, I mean it is January and I'm pretty sure it is -13 degrees
Kyle: Aww come on the beach is a wonderful family activity, and no one is here to bother us
Cecily: that is because everyone is at home not catching frostbite
Kyle: Oh come on, where is you're sense of adventure
Gray: Yeah, it isn't even that cold
Juvia: that's because you grew up in Alaska
Gray: oh yeah
Kyle: look how about I go get us some refreshments *he and Vanessa walks up to concession stand to see Jay as the clerk*
Jay: hey man what do you need
Kyle: 5 Ice creams, please
Jay: *asks Vanessa* is he stupid
Vanessa: yeah Pat it is cold why do we need Ice cream
Kyle: because it isn't a day at the beach without Ice cream
Gray: I'm actually good
Juvia: Me too
*Kyle and Vanessa move back to the group Gray and Juvia bleeding and notices a seashell in Emily's hands*
Kyle: Hey Emily that's a pretty seashell you got there
Cecily: That's not a Seashell, that's my toe. It fell off from frostbite
Gray: Maybe we should head back I gave Natalie a hug and I'm pretty sure I accidentally cut her with my nipples.
Vanessa: Come on Pat let's head back.
Kyle: Okay fine, you big babies, but first I'm going to take a quick dip
*Jumps into water only to find that it is frozen*
*Crunch sound*
Kyle: AAAAHHHHHH my coccyx
Gray: Damn the ocean froze
Juvia: I'm pretty sure Dad is going to freeze up when he sees the medical bill.
(Skit 4)
*Scene starts in front of a burning building fire fighters, Archer (Natsu), Keith (Pete), Paul (Jay), Matt (Taran) and Rando (Kenan) arrive on the scene*
Kenan: Okay guys, we got a class 3 blaze, everyone is evacuated, we got to stop it before it spreads, Keith you and Paul extinguish those huge fires on the left, Matt you take the small fires on the right, New guy uh, Archer, you take the bottom floors okay
Natsu: alright *puts on boxing gloves *
Kenan: wait, what are you doing?
Natsu: putting on my boxing gloves
Kenan: Why?
Natsu: so I can fight this fire.
Taran: You do know we don't literally fight it right.
Kenan: seriously how did you get past training?
Natsu: That is not important
Pete: Dude, we fight it by dousing it with water, water beats fire that's like Pokémon 101.
Natsu: still gonna put my fists in those flames.
Jay: man did your Mama ever tell you never to touch fire
Natsu: she didn't, she died in a house fire when I was 3
Jay: *shocked*…I am so sorry man
Natsu: It's okay, she is the reason I wanted to become a fire fighter, you guys can criticize me all you like but I am going in there and do my Momma proud and go all Mike Tyson on this inferno YYYAAAAAAHHHHH *runs into burning building and starts punching the fire*
Kenan: that boy maybe stupid, but god damn he's got guts. You know what I bet each and everyone of y'all $50 that he can beat that fire.
Pete: your serious
Jay: I'll take a piece off that action
Taran: hey me too.
*They here an explosion*
Jay: oh my god he is actually fighting the fire
Matt: his punches are extinguishing the flames
Kenan: I knew that kid had spirit
*Crunch sound*
Pete: Oh my god, he bit one the fires
Jay: damn, he wasn't kidding about that whole Mike Tyson thing
Kenan: he's done it the fires extinguished
*Everyone cheers natsu rejoins them shirt burned off covered in soot*
Jay: dude that was awesome
Pete: it was insane
Taran: I didn't thought it was physically possible
Kenan: Kid you may be the craziest man I ever met, but goddamn I respect you
Natsu: Thank you, but now I'm feeling a bit burned out
*Everyone laughs*
(Skit 5)
*Hogwarts, one year after the defeat of Voldermort with Harry (Aidy), Hermione (Kate) and Ron (Taran) are at the final battleground*
Aidy: well guys it's been a whole yeah since we beat you know who
Taran: you said it Harry, you must be the strongest wizard who ever lived
Kate: Well said Ron, I don't think that there is anyone stronger then Harry Potter.
*Enter Lucy*
Taran: Uh Hi who may you be?
Lucy: uh Hi, My name is Lucy Heartfilia; I'm a celestial wizard from Fairy Tail. I'm currently on a job looking connections to a dark lord named Zeref.
Aidy: I'm sorry but I the only dark lord we know is Voldermort and he is about as dead as original ideas in Hollywood.
Lucy: well the person I am looking for can create demons, brings objects to life, immortal and kills everything around him, literally.
*Aidy, Kate and Taran look at her surprised*
Kate: are you for real?
Lucy: yeah, I actually blew up one of those demons, who ironically had a specialty with explosions.
Taran: do you have any leads on this person because he seriously scaring me right now, he must be some deformed, horrifying monster?
Lucy: Actually due to his immortality he is fairly attractive; forever looking like some 18-year-old, while your looks fade from you.
Taran: well that's emasculating
Kate: hey I just noticed that you don't have a wand, how are you able to do magic.
Lucy: why would you have a wand, if you get disarmed you are basically defenseless.
Aidy: yeah well what can you do miss high and mighty
Lucy: *pulls out Loke's key* open gate of the lion Loke. *Summons Loke*
Loke: hey what's up.
Lucy: I can summon the zodiac spirits beat that.
Loke: *puts hand in front of face* Face
Kate: that is pretty awesome
Aidy: this is probably some sort of parlour trick with no application to the battlefield
*explosion and there stands Voldermort (Kyle)*
Kyle: Potter
Aidy: Voldermort how have you come back from the dead
Kyle: some weird kid with black hair with Black and white robes, said his name was Zeref, that promised me revenge.
Lucy: wait did you say Zeref?
Kyle: yeah so what, nothing will stop me from killing Potter, that whiny little bitch.
Aidy: this ends here and now Voldermort.
Kyle: and what is going to stop me 3 teenagers and a busty bimbo who probably has no knowledge of the magical arts
Lucy: hey don't insult me or Fairy Tail, you facelift gone wrong.
Kyle: I don't know what this Fairy Tail is but it sounds like a gay bar.
Lucy: Okay, you three stand back I got this
Kyle: You think you can defeat me the all powerful Volder…*gets punched by Loke with Regulus Impact, then intercepted by a wool bomb by Aries and then blasted by Scorpio towards Lucy who punched him in the face with a powered up Lucy punch*
Lucy: Here's a lesson a freak like you will understand, mess with fairy tail you are destined for defeat, URANO METRIA *Voldermort gets obliterated (None of the Saturday Night Live cast were harmed in this Fanfic)*
Aidy: you killed him the guy who made multiple attempts of my life you killed in 5 seconds
Lucy: wow, man what a scrub, anyway since I won't get any answers here I better just leave, laters
(Intermission)
*Lucy leaves and everyone is in shock*
Natsu: everyone, Back-On
(I do not own any music sung by back-on I am just trying to keep the show just like SNL)
watch?v=YeDmkOwEO7A
(Skit 6)
*game show set, with Alex Neil (Natsu), Keith(Bobby), Felecia (Sasheer) and Carl (Beck)*
Kenan (voiceover) and now time for America's most popular game show CATCH THAT CAT, with your host Alex Neil
Natsu: hey welcome to the show everybody Alex Neil your host and the only man who makes pink hair look straight, now let's Introduce our contestants, who are competing for our mystery prize, Keith.
Bobby: It's great to be here Alex
Natsu: No-one cares Keith *Bobby's smile dropped* next we have Felecia
Sasheer: Oh my god I'm on TV, Hi Mom
Natsu: that's sweet, I'm guessing your Mom is saying 'Felecia don't embarrass the family like you always do', *Sasheer looks embarrassed* and Finally our last contestant Carl.
Carl: Why am I here, I have a severe cat allergy if I touch one I die.
Natsu: well you signed a waver so the show doesn't give a crap.
Carl: Why did I agree to this?
Natsu: Anyway, the cat you will be chasing is the ever-loveable Happy.
Happy: Hi everyone
Sasheer: did that cat just talk?
Natsu: yeah, he fell into some nuclear waste and middle, middle, middle, now he is a mutant the end.
Happy: *sprouts wings* and I can fly
Bobby: how is this even possible?
Natsu: Well enough with the chit chat let's get started, Keith, CATCH THAT CAT
*Bobby runs through an obstacle course to try to cat a flying happy, Bobby trys to climb a podium to try to get to happy*
Bobby: you're mine you damn cat
*Happy grabs a big fish and throws it at his head causing him to hit the ground*
Bobby: Oh, did he hit me in the head with a fish?
Natsu: Oh, sorry Keith, It seems like you lost so no prize for you,
Sasheer: Is this even legal?
Natsu: that is not important okay Felecia time for you to CATCH THAT CAT
*Sasheer traverses a seesaw like obstacle until Happy coughed up a hairball and it flew towards Sasheer, it hit her made her lose balance and fall to the floor unconscious*
Natsu: Oh, guess Felecia wasn't able to catch Happy so I guess she's going home with nothing, Felecia any comments *Sasheer does not respond*
Beck: I think she has a concussion
Natsu: well thank god for lawyers. Anyway Carl your up
Beck: oh no I don't care about the prize there is no way I'm getting anywhere near that death trap or that demon cat
*Happy flys to Carl and gives him a hug*
Happy: Hugs *Beck starts to have allergic reaction and falls on floor*
Natsu: Well, Carl against all odds you have won our mystery prize, a lifetime supply of Cat food. What do you have to say to our audience?
Beck: *Wheezes*
Natsu: (to producer) can he say that on TV, well that's our show see you next time on CATCH THAT CAT.
(Skit 7)
*Hawaiian Hotel where Nate (Natsu) and Lily (Lucy) are staying for their Honeymoon who are currently checking in*
Bobby: Okay, you guys are all checked in enjoy your Honeymoon suite
Lucy: thank you
Natsu: This is great a wonderful vacation with my new beautiful wife
Lucy: I'm just so glad I married you Nate
Natsu: Same here Lily
*They bump into Felix (Kenan) and Talia (Kate)*
Lucy: Oh sorry
Kate: Oh no problem
Kenan: I'm Felix this is Talia
Natsu: Nate and this is my beautiful wife Lily
Lucy: Hi
Kenan: and a hello to you to, *rubs Lucy's elbow*
Natsu: what the hell are you doing?
Kenan: hitting on your wife why?
Natsu: okay that's enough reason to punch you in the face
Kate: aren't you guys here for the swingers social
Lucy: no we are here on honeymoon, what is a Swinger's social?
Kenan: one of the most important swinger events of the year
Natsu: wait swingers are real?
Kate: yeah, what you have a problem with our lifestyle choice
Natsu: no, no we are just got married and I don't expect to do, THIS
Lucy: yeah, we are just not comfortable with this
Kate: well are you comfortable with this *kisses Lucy*
Natsu: (0_0), Okay, I am not as mad as I was before
Kenan: so, still don't want to be part of the swinger social
Lucy: No
Natsu: *hesitates*
Lucy: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING THIS?
Natsu: sorry I just blanked out after the whole girl on girl kiss, seriously that is like every straight man's weakness
Kenan: the man is not wrong
Natsu: that is a No for me as well
Kate: oh that's okay have a fun honeymoon *Kenan and Kate leave*
*Lucy has an angry face and storms off*
Natsu: baby I said no, please don't be mad at me, I love you
Natsu: Thanks everybody, we had a wonderful show, I want to thank Lucy, Happy, Gray, Juvia, Erza, Jellal, Gajeel, Levy, the rest of our guildmates for helping out tonight this show wouldn't have been possible without them.
Kenan: well thank you for that Stuttering Suzie skit because it worked amazing with Erza's stage fright and no acting talent.
Natsu: KENAN NO
Erza: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Natsu: KENAN RUN
*Kenan runs for his life while Erza throws swords at him*
Jellal: wow for a fat guy he sure can move