Chapter 1 Er vs Sun
Summary: ErLang Shen comes to Smite & Sun Wukong wants to settle the score.
Sun Wukong: The author finally decides to put-
Kukulkhan: Just say the disclaimer before the author pulls a fast one.
Sun Wukong: The author doesn't own anything from Smite. We're property of Hi-Rez studios.
It was a surprisingly cloudy day in Siege. After the sun was shining so brightly the day before, Chaac had decided to make it cloudy. Help cool off the place. Anyways Chaac, Xbalanque & Kukulkhan were playing Jenga yet again. "Ok, this time, no one say anything got it?" Chaac asked. Kukulkhan & Xbalanque nodded. Chaac carefully removed the lowest block. Then a barking sound was heard. "Kaldr again?" Xbalanque groaned. Then a small black dog ran into view but it stopped in front of the tower. "Good doggy, go over there please?" Chaac asked. "Tien! Tien!" shouted a voice. "Tien?" Kukulkhan asked. "Over here Er!" the dog said. "Er?" Xbalanque asked. "Oh, ErLang Shen. He's the new warrior. Over here Er!" Chaac shouted. Er followed his voice & made his way to the 3 gods. "Tien, I told you not to run off like that. My apologies," Er Lang said. "No worries, this is Xbalanque, Kukulkahn-" "Tien! The dragon has returned!" Er said. Tien took an offensive stance. "No, no, no, no. Kuku here isn't vicious." Xbalanque said. "Yeah, I'm actually quite nice." Kukulkhan said. "Hmm, Tien, down. I'm sorry for my assumption. I'm used to fighting dragons, well evil ones anyways. I'm ErLang Shen, the new god." ErLang said. "I'm Chaac, if you don't mind, stay there for a moment." Chaac said. "Huh?" ErLang asked. Finally, Chaac beat Nemesis's height in Jenga. "Yes! I beat her height!" Chaac said happily. "You play Jenga too?" Er Lang asked. "Yeah, it's a hobby." Kukulkhan said. "I play it & I have the tallest height." ErLang said. "Sure ya do." Xbalanque said. ErLang rolled his eyes. He reset the blocks & began to play. The tower grew & grew & grew in height. ErLang soon surpassed Chaac's height. The tower was now taller than Chaac. "There, that's my record." ErLang said. Chaac's jaw dropped. "Show off," Xbalanque said. "There goes your record." Kukulkhan remarked. "Well now that that's settled, I need to ask you 3 something. I'm looking for something called Joust Map. I heard that Nemesis-" "Nemesis? She's somewhere in Conquest map." Chaac said. "Why do you need to find her?" Kukulkhan asked. "Well I heard that she's the goddess of revenge." ErLang said. "Yeah but her brother is Death & her mother is night." Xbalanque said. "Yes but I need her help. I need her to help me 'bury the cudgle' with Wukong." ErLang said. "Oh, well that's easy." Xbalanque said. "I can guide you to her." Kukulkhan said. "Thanks but no thanks. My dog Tien can find her via her scent." ErLang said. "Uh you don't want to smell that. Trust me," Xbalanque said. "What's wrong?" ErLang asked. "She smells like her brother, Thanatos aka Death. Only Kuku here can track her without fainting from the stench." Chaac said. "Oh, well lead the way Kuku." ErLang said. Kukulkhan nodded & lead the warrior to the vengeful goddess.
In Joust…
Sun Wukong was sparring with his clone. "Hey Sun! Guess what?" Ne Zha asked. "What?" Wukong asked. "Your nemesis is here! ErLang Shen! He just got released yesterday!" Ne Zha said happily. "WHAT?! That- Well, he-" "I heard from Xba that he's looking for Nemesis." Ne Zha said. "So he wants to make me look like a fool again?! Where's Nemesis?!" Wukong asked. "Last I saw she was in Conquest." Ne Zha said. Sun Wukong groaned & used his 72 transformations. He turned into an eagle & made his way to Conquest.
In Conquest….
Nemesis was sparring with her brother while Loki was watching out of boredom by Speed Camp. "C'mon bro, that the best you got?" Nemesis asked. "You know I'm not even trying right?" Thanatos answered. "Man the both of yas are boring me. Thanatos you normally put up a better fight than that. What's wrong?" Loki asked. "I'm in a rut. GOT is off for the season, just finished season 2 of True Blood, to put it simply, I'm bored too." Thanatos sighed. "Great! Great! I've got 2 bored brats on my hands!" Nemesis complained. "Hey! Nemesis!" Kukulkhan shouted. "Here Kuku!" Nemesis said. "Hey guys. ErLang Shen this is Loki, Thanatos & Nemesis. Guys this is the new god." Kukulkhan explained. "Cool, so what do you want?" Loki asked. "Whew! You were right, she does smell like Death." ErLang said. "You want something or not?" Nemesis asked. "Yes, I came here to ask that you keep me & Sun Wukong's rivalry to a minimum." ErLang said. "Wait, your the guy Sun Wu hates talking about?" Thanatos asked. "Yes. Thousands of years ago the Jade Emperor sent me to take care of the monkey. I beat him despite the many transformations we did. I'm afraid that Sun Wu might want to settle the score." ErLang said. "So you want me to destroy the rivalry between you 2?" Nemesis asked. "Yes please, besides, it's hard trying to get eagle scratches out of my armor." ErLang begged. "Ok, I'll do it. BTW, try my brother's armor sometimes. Nothing ever dents it." Nemesis said. "So she can really do that?" Loki whispered. "Yeah but, it's not as simple as saying, 'Your rivalry is over' Loki." Thanatos answered. "What do you mean?" ErLang asked. "Well I need the both of you so I can 'Sever the link'." Nemesis said. "Do any of you know where Wukong is?" ErLang asked. "Haven't seen him in 2 games." Loki said. Then a bull came running out of no wheres & knocked the 4 gods into the air. "Sun Wu-" "Don't you talk to me! I'm here to settle the score once & for all!" Wukong snarled. "Whoa! Whoa, hold up Monkey Man." Loki said. "You alright ErLang?" Nemesis asked. "Yes, Whoo! Last time he hit me like that it didn't hurt as much." ErLang said. "Out of my way Loki! I'm here to settle the score!" Sun Wukong growled. "Now if you can calm your baboon butt down, man that sounds cheesy, we can talk this out." Loki said. Then a strange sound was heard. Suddenly, Kukulkhan's Spirit of the Nine Winds drilled everyone to the ground. "Can everyone just chill? Ok?" Kukulkhan asked. "Did you really have to drill us like that Kuku? Lang here's crushing my sternum!" Nemesis groaned. "My apologies," ErLang said as he got up. "Kuku, I swear I'm gonna-" Sun Wukong said. Then a large raven began to circle the skies above them. "Uh, who's that?" ErLang asked. "One of the author's 'influences' only appears when the author don't like someone attacking one of it's favorites." Thanatos explained. "Well, at least the both of you are here. Now we can destroy this rivalry once & for all." Nemesis said. "The only way to destroy a rivalry is to end it with a fight!" Sun Wukong growled. "ENOUGH! Wukong, shut your trap & let Nemi handle this! Ok?!" Loki growled. "Thanks Loki, now then." Nemesis said. She began to hover in mid air & a pair of scales appeared behind her. "ErLang Shen, do you wish to end this rivalry?" Nemesis asked. "Yes, I want nothing to do with this rivalry, I want it to end." ErLang said. The scales tipped towards Er Lang. "Sun Wukong, do you wish to end this rivalry?" Nemesis asked. "Are you kidding?!" Sun Wukong asked. The scales suddenly dropped to the ground. "What happened?" Kukulkhan asked. "Unless both participants agree, the rivalry stands." Nemesis said. "Told yas it wasn't so simple. Until they both agree, their rivalry stays alive." Thanatos whispered. "I see what you mean." Loki answered. "Well then in that case- FIGHT!" Sun Wukong said as he turned into a bull. ErLang Shen sighed sadly & turned into a mink. The mink scurried away towards Duo lane. The bull followed it. The bull then turned into an eagle & chased after the mink. The eagle took to the skies & began to dive. The mink stopped & turned into a turtle. The eagle couldn't stop & crashed into the turtle. The eagle tumbled for a bit before it skidded to a stop. The turtle changed back into ErLang Shen. The eagle squawked weakly & ErLang Shen picked him up. "Now can we bury this rivalry?" ErLang asked. The eagle screeched angrily & turned into a tiger. ErLang Shen turned back into a turtle. The tiger slapped the turtle so hard, he sent the turtle spinning down duo. "ErLang!" Kukulkhan said. The tiger then came charging down the lane. Then it turned into a bull. "ErLang I'd move if I were you!" Loki shouted. The bull got within feet of the turtle when it changed into a mink again & scurried out the way at the last minute. The bull crashed into the tower & groaned. The mink turned back into ErLang Shen. "Passive isn't he?" Thanatos asked. "Yeah very- Are you munching on popcorn?!" Nemesis asked. "What? Problem? I've seen mortals do this all the time." Thanatos said innocently. "Now then, please, I told you I don't want to fight. I want to make peace." ErLang Shen said. The bull glared at him & snorted. "Is he always this stubborn?" ErLang asked. "Dude changes into a bull, what do you expect?" Kukulkhan asked. The bull changed back into Sun Wukong. "Well? Have you considered my request?" ErLang asked. "Fine. Besides, you beat me fair & square." Sun Wukong said reluctantly. "Nemesis! Can you- Were you eating popcorn the whole time I was fighting him?" ErLang asked. "What? He started it!" Nemesis said innocently. "Squealer," Thanatos sighed. "Ok let's try this again. ErLang Shen, do you wish to end this rivalry?" Nemesis asked as she hovered between the 2. "Yes, I want nothing to do with this rivalry. I want it to end." ErLang said. The scales tipped towards him. "Sun Wukong, do you wish to end this rivalry?" Nemesis asked. "Yeah I guess-" "Wrong answer, do you wish to end this rivalry, yes or no?" Nemesis asked. "Yes! Yes! I'll end this rivalry!" Sun Wukong answered. The scales tipped towards him. Then the scales balanced out & sent a shock wave outwards like a giant ring. Then a loud snapping sound was heard. "There, the rivalry is broken. You 2 can now be friends." Nemesis said. "Aww! I wanted the fight to continue!" Thanatos groaned. "Yeah, I had 500 gems on ErLang! Drat!" Loki groaned. "Ah don't mind those 2, they get a kick out of anything." Sun Wukong said. "HEY! We do not!" Loki & Thanatos replied. "So, you gonna show me around Smite?" ErLang asked. "Of course! If you can keep up." Wukong said. He activated his 72 transformations & turned into an eagle again. "Thank you Nemesis, I'll repay you later. Wukong! Wait up!" ErLang said as he used his 72 transformations into a mink. "Well, that worked. Now what?" Loki asked. "I don't know, whatever the crazy mixed up author comes up with." Thanatos said. Then the raven tackled him & slapped him with it's wings before it flew away. "Doggone author," Loki sighed.
ErLang Shen: I rather enjoyed this chapter.
Me: Well thank you. Your the first god to tell me that.
Thanatos: Oh pu-leease!
Me: Problem?!
Thanatos: Nevermind
Nemesis: Why don't you put me in more chapters?
Me: I don't like you too much. Your on the not really hate yet not really like list. Wukong on the other hand is on the hate list.
Nemesis: Aw come on! R & R!