Chapter One;
The Intro.
It was, yet again, my first day of another new school. I had been waiting forever in the school office; two hours, at least. I wanted to get out, and go home. Not to my new house, or anything, but back to my house in Chicago, and back to where my friends were, and go back to when my mom was still here.
"Kate Beckett?" the lady at the front desk asked.
"Yes, that's me," I replied.
"Come back here with me, we need to get your schedule."
As I came back behind the desk, I found out that the woman was my counselor, and that she would be giving me my schedule and changing my schedule whenever needed. I had to sit down in a wooden but padded seat, and started daydreaming away, as I always do when I have abundant spare time.
My dad had made me move every year because he was unsatisfied everywhere we went. We went to Montana, Arkansas, North Dakota, and all around the New York area, but he wasn't satisfied until we came to South California. He never really said anything, just that he wanted to escape her. Everything in those places seemed to remind him of my mother. He would be awake at night, and I would wake up because of him finally going to sleep and yelling while he was dreaming. Every time, it was about her. He would yell her name, or say something sweet to her. He really missed her, I knew. So, I guess, he finally found either enough to stay for, or enough that made him feel less nostalgic.
When she was gone at first.. I felt so lost. I felt like, in a minute, I was sure it was all a mistake and she would come just around the corner. I felt like crying and I felt like my heart had just shriveled up and decided not to try anymore.
For a while, I couldn't live with myself. I would just walk around, doing the things I needed to do, but cut myself off from my father and my friends. I just didn't need that much sympathy. At lunch, I would still sit with my friends, but I wouldn't really be there, if you know what I mean. I would always stare off into space and think about her, and how I wish she would just pop up and shout, "Surprise! Nope, I just went on a little vacation, but I'm back now!" But of course, like a dream to meet a celebrity you're obsessed with, it never ever happened.
I wanted to fix things with Dad, because he had become so depressed. He would get so unhappy and upset that he would drink a whole bottle of wine in a night, and I would be left to take care of him after his most recent "episode." He would usually stay sober for a week, and then he wouldn't be able to handle his depression, yet again, and try to make things better.
At one of his later hangovers, I even remember hearing him tell me he was sorry he was a mess. He wanted my mom back just as much as I did, and that he was going to try to stay clear of wine.
You know how it works out, though. He never really did. We just stopped buying alcoholic drinks, and kept him at home. I took him to a psychologist, to keep him from staying clinically depressed in hopes he wouldn't commit suicide in the time between when he started therapy and ended it.
Mostly, what this all showed me was that people come and go, especially the ones you love most. You try and try to keep your favorite people, but always they leave. And then, I promised myself that I would stay away from feelings. I officially would have no feelings, from then on. I would be the strong, proud, untouchable girl that people would only read of in books and watch in movies, and, for the first time, they'd meet a girl who's got her life and priorities straight in middle school.
I'd be the strong one, but also polite, and caring, and would be a good student through it all. But most importantly, I'd never be hurt again. I'd never have to go through that pain again, because I knew what I was doing.
I had everything planned out; I would get straight A's all throughout the rest of my middle school and high school career, and I would move on to be a great homicide detective, to honor my loving mother.
Although you would never know, or think it from the way I act now, I used to be a pretty open girl. I had lots of friends, and a couple really close ones, who I could share anything with. We used to discuss crushes, and boys, and everything. We'd go do all these things together, like go to the mall, go bowling, and go to the beach in the spring and summer, and all kinds of things that every girl loves. We had what some people dreamed of getting with close friends. We'd go almost everywhere with each other, and we were so bubbly and weird and crazy all at the same time, I thought my parents would burst from the energy they had to go through with taking care of me.
Although I loved my parents a lot, like every child loves their parent, I wasn't really that close to mine, and I dearly regret it. I miss my mom so much, and I really wish I had taken the time to get to know her better. I don't have that many memories of her, since the last time we really spent time together was when I was a toddler or in my early elementary school years. After that, I just spent my days at someone else's, really. Now I wish so much that I could've gotten so much closer to her and figured out what she was like; now all I have are a few conversations that barely meant anything because we said almost nothing important to each other.
I really wish I could take some time back and instead would have talked to her, but I can't do anything about it now.
I was suddenly brought back to VP's office after daydreaming and fantasizing about my mom when the lady chirped, "Here's your schedule, Kate, now go to class." I had missed my first two periods, so I would be walking in on the middle of my Geometry class when I got there. But what interested me most, was the kid in the hallway, just walking around nonchalantly.
A/N: Heeyy! Haha, okay introduction, and pretty short.. I just hope I can make a longer chapter than this one in the future, because it was really short, but we'll see. I promise that it'll be a page longer, though! :) I just started, so we'll see where this goes.. On that note, review!