Broken
Natsume leaned against the sakura tree, and lets his thoughts run wild.
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I should be happy for him, but I'm not. I'm shattered on the inside, and he knows it. He hates seeing me like this, but he knows that I wanted it to be this way. It's better this way. Better for both of them. She loved both of us, but I pushed her into his arms because I knew he loved her. But also because I knew he would keep her happy and safe. Happiness and Safety: those were two things I could never give her.
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Blood, from the cuts on his arm, fell onto the white snow. Natsume looked down at his arm, then to the snow. He watched as the red drops hit the white crystals and stained them pink. Natsume was so fascinated by it that he didn't see Mikan standing there. "Natsume…why?" Mikan asked. Natsume didn't look up at her. Mikan sat down next to him and pulled out a long piece of white cloth from her pocket. She tied it around Natsume's bleeding arm. "Natsume…why?" Mikan asked again with tears running down her face. Natsume glared at her and said, "Just leave me alone…" "Natsume…" Mikan said with hurt in her voice. "Go away polka dots! I don't want you here!" He said coldly. Mikan stood up and slowly began to walk away. Natsume picked up the sharp object that he used earlier and created a long jagged cut on his cheek. "Mikan..." He accidentally said aloud. Mikan, who hadn't really been walking away, heard him and went back to him. "I thought I told you to go away, ugly!" Natsume said angrily. When Mikan placed her hand into his, instead of pushing her away he held on to her. Using her free hand, Mikan cleaned the blood off of his face. Natsume leaned over slightly and kissed Mikan on the lips. Mikan was taken aback but instead of pushing him away, she let him kiss her. It was in that moment that Mikan truly realized how much pain Natsume was in, and how much he truly cared for her.
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Meanwhile, Natsume didn't have a clue that Ruka had been watching him the whole time. Mikan and Ruka had been worried about Natsume so they asked Iinchou to help them out a bit. And so, Iinchou created an illusion making it seem like Ruka really wasn't there, even though he really was.
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After Mikan and Natsume's kiss, Iinchou let the illusion fall away revealing a sad, crying Ruka. "Ruka..." Natsume said as he looked up at his best friend. "Natsume...you know that I'm here for you right? Why didn't you ever come to me? Why did you do this?" Ruka asked as he wiped away tears. Natsume fell silent and looked away from his best friend. Ruka walked over and hugged Natsume. "Ruka...I didn't want you to know. Just because I'm in pain doesn't mean that you can't still be happy." Natsume said quietly. "Natsume...when you're in pain, we're in pain too. You should know that by now." Mikan said from beside him. "Mikan...Ruka...just leave me..." Natsume said as his hair fell over his eyes. Simultaneously, Mikan and Ruka grabbed his wrists. "Stop this now, Natsume! I don't want you to die! I care about you! So does Mikan...and Youichi...and Hotaru. Everybody cares about you so much! I just don't understand how you can't see that!" Ruka shouted. "Ruka, there's just one thing that you and Mikan and everybody else won't ever understand...I'm already dead inside...I'm already broken." Natsume replied. "I'm sorry..." Ruka and Mikan whispered at the same time. Natsume looked up at both of them and whispered, "Fix me."
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Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE OR THE CHARACTERS!!!
Author's Note: Errr..yeah, so I liked the idea better in my head...but the beginning turned out the way I wanted it to...it just kind of got all crappy towards the end. I'm not too happy about the ending..it just kind of hangs there I think, but oh well. It's a bit sad, dark, and cheesy all at the same time. I only wrote this because I love Gakuen Alice and it's characters. Don't be too harsh please, this is my first time writing a fanfic for an anime/manga! I hope you liked it though! :)