Whoop! Another crossover! Yaaaayyyyyyyy. . .!

Me: *looks at Memento Mori*

Memento Mori: *glares back*

Memento Mori: When the fuck are you going to update me, you lazy ass?

Me: *runs away clutching unpublished chapters of MM to chest*

PLEASE NOTE: this fanfiction is heavily inspired by the novel Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. It's a great read, and I highly recommend you read it, but everything important will be explained in the story.

"Stop!" Kurt raced forwards, drawing his wand. "Freeze!"

"He's too fast!" Monika pulled out her own wand. "Stupefy!" The spell ricocheted off the wall of the alley, and the Aurors all ducked as the jet of red light shot back at them, shattering a window.

Mike swore, casting his own Stunning Spell after the dark figure. "We'll have to fix that, later."

"That's your main concern?"

"Enough!" Erwin shouted, pulling out his wand. "Chasing him isn't going to work, we're going to have to corner him. Monika, to the left! Kurt, close in from the right. Mike, you're with me."

"Roger!" Monika and Kurt spilt off in opposite directions, and Mike and Erwin charged forwards.

Erwin aimed his wand ahead as he continued running. "Levicorpus!"

"Uno reverse!"

Mike yelled as a neon green explosion smelling faintly of singed paper sent Erwin's jinx shooting back at them. "What the fuck kind of spell was that?"

Erwin grit his teeth, running harder. "Celeritius!" he cast, and his feet began moving faster, practically spinning as he and Mike rocketed forwards.

The figure turned a corner, but skidded, faltering as Monika and Kurt appeared from branching alleyways. Before he could take another step, Mike had tackled him, sending both wizards falling to the ground. There was a brief scuffle, ended by Kurt shouting, "Locomotor Mortis!" The man shouted as he fell to the ground, legs snapping together, stiff and immobile.

"Expelliarmus!" A thin wooden rod flew from the man's hand, and Monika caught it.

Mike grunted, flipping the man over and tapping his wrists with his wand. Thin, silver chains appeared from where the wand had made contact with skin, looping around the man's wrists. They were slender and delicate-looking, but Erwin had been on the receiving end of them in more than a few squabbles, and knew them to be virtually unbreakable.

Mike grabbed the boy, forcing him to his knees – yes, boy was the right word for it. He was small, smaller than even some of the first-years Erwin had seen at Hogwarts, and, when he raised his head, silver eyes flashing with murderous rage as he glared at Erwin, Erwin decided that there was no way he was older than fifteen. For a moment, he wondered how someone so young ended up on top of the Auror Office's list, but he banished the thought immediately. It doesn't matter how old he is. We've got him, and that's all that matters.

Erwin raised his wand, aiming it at the boy's face. "Stupefy." His eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell forwards. Mike grabbed him, hoisting him over his shoulder.

"Well done," Erwin said. "All of you."

Monika and Klaus nodded, barely-supressed glee in their eyes. "Not a bad mark for the resume, huh?" Klaus commented, tucking his wand into the sheath on his belt. Monika barely bit back a grin as she tucked hers into the pocket of her robes.

Mike glanced at Erwin, and he nodded. The four wizards twirled on the spot, and, with a small pop, vanished.

xxx

"Wait, we forgot to fix the window."

"The clean-up squad can take care of that."

"They were laid off because of budget cuts last week."

"Oh, shit."

xxx

Levi Kenneth Ackerman. Erwin read through the sheet in front of him. Age 13, no known living relatives. Hogwarts attendance: n/a. Wand: Unregistered, stolen. He frowned, flicking through the next few pages, detailing Ackerman's crimes (mainly petty theft and robbery, although there had been one count of assault on a Ministry employee that had left the man in St. Mungo's, and Barnaby Ewe had been missing since last October).

"Smith." Erwin turned, putting the docket back on the desk.

"Nile," Erwin nodded. "How goes the interrogation?"

Nile scowled, crossing his arms. "That's none of your business."

Erwin raised an eyebrow. "Well, I hope he starts talking soon." Nile spluttered as Erwin turned back to the paper. "Are you sure this is right? According to this, he should be a Hogwarts fourth-year come September, but it also says he's never even set foot in the castle."

Nile shrugged, moving to stand by his former friend. "Well, it happens more than most people think. There are some Muggle-borns whose parents never accept the truth or let them leave, and there are some really old pureblood lines that teach the kids at home – something about 'keeping old spells with the real magic'. Then there are some kids who never get their letters for some reason or another – that's really rare though."

Erwin hummed. "Ackerman. . ." he muttered. "That's an old family, if I recall correctly. Rather unfortunate in the past few decades, though, I've heard. Didn't their last known heir vanish almost a hundred years ago?" Nile shrugged. "Why wouldn't Ackerman have gotten his letter?"

Nile scratched at his beard (Erwin fought down the temptation to jinx it off; it hurt his heart just looking at it – he pitied Marie). "No clue. Exceptional circumstances, I would guess. Anyways," he snatched the file up. "This isn't your problem. It's up for my department to figure out what Ackerman's keeping."

Erwin nodded. "Very well. I'll see you back at Hogwarts in September, then?"

Nile scowled. "Unlikely, unless you've added History of Magic and Arithmancy to your repertoire."

Erwin nodded, expression blank. "You've truly given up on the Auror Office then?"

Nile slammed the folder shut. "Good night, Smith."

xxx

Keith set Erwin's report down. "Excellent work, Smith, Zacharius," he said. "Although," he pointed at one part of the paper with the tip of his wand, dragging it across the page, highlighting the sentence. "I'd appreciate it if you could elaborate on this bit. What spell did you say he used on you?"

Mike exchanged a glance with Erwin, then cleared his throat and said, "Uh, I'm not sure it was a spell – or, at least, not one like I've ever heard before."

"It was uno reverse, sir," Erwin said, feeling more than a little ridiculous.

Keith's brow grew even more furrowed. "Uno?"

"It's a Muggle game, sir," Mike quickly explained. "Card game. And reverse is a move you can use –" he snapped his jaw shut, turning pink behind his mustache.

Keith sighed, putting his head in his hands. "At ease, Mike." He groaned, muttering something under his breath along the lines of 'stupid-stupid-stupid-why-the-fuck-were-they-sending-him-after-teen-felons-jinxing-his-interns-couldn't-they-just-throw-him-in-Azkaban-with-the-rest-of-his-line-oh-my-god-this-was-the-worst-career-choice-ever-why'.

"Sir –" Erwin began.

"Ah, that's right," Keith looked up. "You two need me to fill out your internship forms, right?" His Self-Writing Quill, which, seconds earlier, had been signing large stacks of papers (filled out mostly by Erwin and Mike during the long hours of the night), flew over to two sheets of parchment that had shot over to lay flat on Keith's desk and began scribbling.

"Yes, sir," Erwin said. "But –"

"Remind me, who were the other interns in your year?" Keith muttered as the quill paused, a small blot forming where the tip pressed to the parchment.

"Just Flagon Turret, sir," Erwin replied.

Keith nodded as the quill resumed its scratching. "Alright. I'll be seeing you next year, for full-time positions, I hope?"

Mike nodded, then turned. "Erwin?" he glanced back at his friend. "Smith, you coming?"

"Give me a moment, Mike."

Mike frowned, then shrugged, leaving the office, shutting the door gently behind him.

Keith glanced up with a frown. "Something troubling you, Erwin?"

"Just thinking, that's all." Keith raised an eyebrow, then gestured at the younger man. "That boy we arrested, Levi Ackerman –" Keith huffed in obvious distaste. "That spell he cast was unlike anything I'd ever seen before."

"Yes, well," Keith shrugged noncommittally. "There are plenty of street jinxes thrown around by wand thieves who've never spent a day at Hogwarts. Not every spell in the world can be documented."

"Yes," Erwin said patiently. "I'm aware of that, sir. But his spell – uno reverse – had more power than a regular deflection spell. It was cast differently, too."

Keith sighed, rubbing his nose. "What are you getting at, Smith?"

"I'm just saying," Erwin said. "That it'd be an awful waste to let talent like that rot in Azkaban, don't you think?"

"It doesn't matter how talented he is," Keith said. "In fact, that gives the Department of Magical Law Enforcement even more reason to throw him into that fortress. It's risky to let someone that powerful wander about unchecked – and without a moral compass."

"More crimes are born of poverty than people are willing to admit," Erwin said. "In fact, a survey done in –"

"What are you getting at, Erwin?" Keith asked. "Are you asking me to release Levi Ackerman? You know as well as I do that that just isn't possible."

"Not release," Erwin said. "I agree, that's not an option. But the Ministry has laws regarding the arrests of underaged wizards, doesn't it?"

Keith looked up. "Erwin, what did you really want to talk about?"

Erwin's eyes flashed. "A proposal."

Jumping a bit far ahead, are you, Erwy? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)