It was a perfectly normal sunny day as Joe and his brother Frank walked along the cracked pavement of a street path on their way home. There wasn't a cloud in the sky as the birds sang in the trees beside the path. The sun felt warm against Joe's back as it cast a golden glow across the houses, and he stretched his back muscles as he reveled in the feeling. Suddenly he stumbled as he almost tripped over a brick lying on the ground. "What the heck?!" He squawked as soon as he regained his balance. "Who left that on the ground?" He peered at it. It had a smiley face and some really, really, bad handwriting on it. "John Idiot, Exo-Geni Unlimited." He read out loud. What the heck is Exo-Geni Unlimited? He wondered.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S REAL! IT'S ALL REAL! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

Frank was staring at the brick and screaming his head off as he ran around in circles. Joe stared at him. "What?" He asked.

"IT'S ALL REAL! THE GETH! THE REAPERS! ALL OF IT'S REAL! THEY'RE GONNA KILL US! THEY'LL... THEY'LL...!"

"Uh, Frank, what are you talking about?" He didn't get an answer, just more mindless screaming. "Hey, Frank, calm down! Don't go all panic attack on me now, bro!"

"THE THRESHER-MAWS! THE HUSKS! ALL OF IT'S REAL! ALL OF MASS EFFECT! EVERYTHING!"

"Um, I'm gonna go home now." Joe abruptly turned away and walked quickly down the street; leaving his brother screaming hysterically behind him. Really? All this craziness over a brick with bad handwriting?

He was still pondering Frank's insanity when a small figure in a brown robe with large ears, green skin, and wispy hair popped up on a fence next to the street path. Joe stopped and stared. Yoda?! What's Yoda doing here?! He felt like his eyes might pop out of their sockets, they were so wide.

And then Yoda started talking. Or singing. Or whatever.

"Rocking, rocking and rolling. Down to the beach I'm strolling. But the seagulls. Poke at my head. Not fun! I said seagulls. Hrrmph! Stop it now!"

Joe finally found his voice. "Yoda! Wait, does that mean Star Wars is real? Does that mean we could have the Force?"

Joe randomly tried to move a small rock nearby using mind power. It twitched!

"I have the force! I can use the force!" He practically yelled. He turned back to Yoda. "Yoda! Can you teach me how to use the Force so I can be a Jedi?"

Yoda flipped onto the roof of a nearby house. "No! Too old, you are. Very bad Jedi you would make." He said as he disappeared over the buildings.

Joe felt like all his dreams had been crushed into a very fine powder. "Ouch!" He grunted as a rock hit him on the back of his head. "I don't remember using the Force to move that."

"I think it was Yoda. I saw his finger twitch." Frank said.

"What did I do to deserve it?" Joe mumbled as he rubbed the back of his head. "All I did was ask to have Jedi training."

He looked back up at the street to see an armoured figure walking towards him. "Hey," The armoured figure said. "I'm Commander Shepard. Have you seen Saren? The reports said he was in this town somewhere."

Joe's jaw hit the ground as he stared at Shepard, vaguely aware that Frank had gone hysterical again. He was still trying to get something intelligible out of his mouth when a head popped around the corner of an industrial building a bit further ahead. And it was an ugly head, too. An ugly turian head.

Shepard noticed Joe staring behind him and turned around in time to see Saren's head. He'd yanked his assault rifle out and was shooting before Joe had a chance to register it. Saren's head disappeared around the corner and Shepard charged off after him, leaving Joe standing, dumbfounded, behind. Well that was weird. He thought dimly. Maybe I can go home now and forget all about it.

Just then a familiar tall guy in bulky dull green armour walked out of a street holding what looked like a map. "Where's the Superhero Cafe?" The Masterchief asked. "The Arbitor told me to meet him there."

Joe was almost getting used to all the random people popping up all over the place; it only took him a second or two to respond. "Across the street," He pointed in the direction. "You cross over then turn down Baker Street. It should be a few buildings down."

"Thanks." He said. He started to cross the street- Suddenly the sound of an explosion ripped through the still air and Joe found himself being shoved onto the path behind a rubbish bin. The Masterchief had brought out his assault rifle and was covering the area. "Cortana, status." He called

as the sound of gunfire began.

"There are unidentified hostiles up ahead, Chief. The explosion came from that tall building to the northeast - that's where they're coming from." Cortana's cool, slightly robotic voice replied. "But Chief, be advised the Arbitor won't be happy if we're late."

"Tell him we'll meet in the middle of the street."

And with that he charged towards the nearest cover on his way to the conflict.

Joe stared at the confrontation ahead. There were a bunch of geth shooting at random people and soldiers behind cover. Even as he watched, some snakes-cobras maybe?- dropped down with mini parachutes onto the machines and started biting them. He became aware of the roar of an engine going at top speed as he observed the strange sight. Twisting his head around he was just able to catch sight of a speeding vehicle before it shot past.

"Yahoo! Let's grind these alien skulls into steel powder!" Somebody yelled from the warthog as it swerved around some gutted vehicles. Still speeding they raced right through the geth, knocking them left and right before wheeling around and doing it again. Having recovered, the geth scrambled out of the way. The marines slid the vehicle to a halt and climbed out, taking cover behind it.

Joe noticed another warthog parked on the side of the street. Hmm, just maybe.... He looked quickly around. There was nobody nearby. Quickly, and as stealthily as he could, he ran over to it and slid into the driver's seat. The controls weren't much different from an ordinary car and he was racing past before anybody noticed. Geth and marines alike scattered out of his way as he sped down the street, swerving around obstacles in the way. Suddenly a wraith drove out of a side street ahead and turned to block his path, its cannon raised to blow him into dust. Joe gritted his teeth and headed for a makeshift ramp to the side. "I'M GOING HOME!" He yelled as he mashed the accelerator pedal against the floor and flew up the ramp and over the purple tank. He let out a whoop as he hit the ground on the other side and the wraith blew up behind him in a spectacular explosion.

"I'M GOING HOME!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs again as they careered down the street at top speed.

Then a strange shaking filled the air as a massive head broke out of the ground.

"A THRESHER-MAW!" Joe yelled. He turned his head slightly to the side and jerked in his seat as he saw a familiar black-haired figure in the passenger seat. "FRANK! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING THERE!?" He yelled.

"I'M HANGING ON HERE!" Frank yelled back from his position pressed against the back of the passenger seat.

"But how-oh nevermind! Just get in the turret and shoot at that thing!"

He didn't need to say any more, Frank jumped to the task as if his pants were on fire as Joe dodged the missiles the thresher-maw spat at them. It reared back with a scream as Frank started shooting at it.

"GET SOME!" He yelled as he raked its head with the bullets.

Unexpectedly, a huge explosion ripped right through where the creature had been and obliterated the scene in a flash of blinding light. The warthog was blasted somewhere to infinity as the scene faded to black in Joe's mind.

He woke up groggy and slightly confused as his head felt strangely pressured and he felt like he was being pulled upwards. Hey wait a minute... is the sky supposed to be made of concrete? He came fully awake with a start as he realized he was hanging upside down in the warthog and banged his head lightly against the headrest. Huh, good thing it's second nature to put on a seatbelt, otherwise I'd probably be dead. He looked around as he tried to find out where he was. There's a lot of broken concrete, some buildings over there somewhere, and an arm sticking out over there... WAIT A MINUTE! AN ARM?! He frantically tried to release his seatbelt and landed with a thud on the concrete. There wasn't enough room to stand so he crawled over to Frank's arm. Frank was sprawled facedown on the concrete, his body obscured by a bit of debris. "Frank!" Joe said. He frantically checked his brother's pulse and let out a sigh of relief when he registered a heartbeat. Frank shifted slightly. "Umf mwa hie imble whuum."

Joe sat back on his haunches. "Uh, what was that? I didn't... understand that."

Frank twitched his hand. "Imfmhmm oom huurr. Imm hmmnn hhih!"

"Frank, just take your head out of the concrete!"

Frank raised his head slightly and put it on its side. "I don't wanna gota school... I shoulda graduated by now..."

Joe face-palmed himself for the occasion. "You're not going to school. It's the weekend."

Frank groaned and pulled himself into a sitting position. "Why am I lying on the roof of a building underneath a warthog?"

Joe crawled out from underneath the warthog. "Because we got blown here by the explosion. And you forgot to put on a seatbelt like the coach always told us to do."

Frank crawled painfully out from underneath the warthog and stood up shakily. "Why were we in a warthog anyway?"

"Because you went nuts after seeing a brick with bad handwriting."

Frank glanced at him, confusion written all over his face as he rubbed his head. "Huh?"

Joe walked to the edge of the building facing the street and looked down.

To see the strangest thing he had ever beheld in his life.

There were little brightly coloured ponies dancing in a circle around a large crater, presumably the crater the explosion had created. It looked vaguely like some kind of tribal dance as they alternately held hooves doing some sort of Irish-looking jig and separated to bob their heads and rear up, all while moving in a circle clockwise. One of them separated from the circle and flew up towards Joe as he watched.

"Um, are you okay?" It said softly as it hovered before him.

Joe rubbed the back of his neck. "What are you doing down there?"

"We are celebrating the defeat of the big bully." It said in the same soft tone. Just at that moment Frank decided to look up from checking himself for injuries. "WHAT THE-!"

The creature waved shyly. "Hello."

Frank's eyes widened and he stepped back. "IT'S AN ALIEN!"

Joe sighed. "Frank-"

"WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO IT?!"

Joe hissed between his teeth and turned back to the creature. "Sorry about that, he's kind of had a bad day and got knocked on the head."

The creature started forward, concern shining in its eyes. "Is he all right?"

Frank backed up several paces to the warthog. "KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled as he cowered as close to the vehicle as he could.

Joe tried to smile at the pony-like thing. "He'll be fine once we get home."

The creature gave him a worried frown. "Can you get down from here?"

Joe looked around for a stairwell. Surprisingly there wasn't any. "Uh, no I don't think so."

It knocked its hooves together lightly and gave him a shy smile. "I could fly you down..."

"I AM NOT RIDING THAT THING!" Frank yelled at the top of his lungs.

Its ears drooped and it looked down the ground. "Unless you don't want to."

Joe looked back at Frank. "It's our best chance of getting down from here!" He called back, frustration bubbling up in his throat.

But Frank didn't budge from beside the warthog. "I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT RIDING THAT THING, IT'S EVIL!"

Joe turned back to the creature, weariness beginning to tug at him. "I'll just go without him."

Its eyes widened slightly. "But what will happen to him?"

"He can stay here until he gets his sanity back."

It glanced at Frank. "Alright." It said very softly.

Joe turned back to Frank for one last try. "What's so bad about flying on a pony-thing anyway, Frank?"

"NOTHING IS GONNA MAKE ME RIDE ONE OF THOSE THINGS! THEY'LL SUCK OUT YOUR BRAINS THROUGH YOUR EARS AND EAT THEM FOR DESSERT WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING! THEY'LL-!"

Joe blocked out his brother's ravings. "Let's go."

He hopped on the pony's back and let it take him down to the street below. It landed softly on the pavement and waited as he slid off its back. "Thanks." He said. It smiled and headed back to the weird dance around the crater. He looked down the street at his house. It looked normal. He glanced around. There were no crazy people walking up to him, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He dashed over to the house and peeked into a window. There were curtains in the way but he couldn't see any weird lights, so he opened the door a crack and glanced around into the hallway. There was nothing there. He opened it all the way. Still nothing. Trying to watch every direction at once he slipped as quietly as he could through the doorway. Nothing happened. He let the tension leak out of his body in a quiet sigh as he closed the door. I must be getting paranoid. He thought with a smile as he turned back to face the hallway- and jerked as he saw a hair-covered really big ape/bear-like creature standing not five metres in front of him. "Where did you come from?!" He yelped as he bumped against the door behind him.

It didn't even bother to answer the question. "DIE HERETIC!" It screamed as it lumbered towards him at an incredibly fast rate. But its speed didn't really matter since time seemed to have slowed down. Joe simply turned to the side and opened the door as it approached. "You know," He said as it lumbered past out the door. "Getting stressed is really bad for your health. You should seek help."

He slammed the door behind it and headed into the lounge. He half expected to see another weird creature but there was only his mum and dad sipping tea on the couch. "Hey Joe!" Frank smiled as he raised his own cup to his lips. His mother and father uttered similar greetings as they sipped their coffee. Joe sat down on the couch and poured a cup out of the kettle on the coffee table. "I always liked coffee better than tea." He remarked as he sipped at it.

"We thought you might have to get heated up since you had to run home through all that rain." His dad said.

"Yeah, the rain's always cold in summer for some reason." Joe agreed. "So, did you have any visitors today?"

"Aunt May came over for a cup of tea." His mother said.

"Has she been laying off the stress pills? Cos she was kind of a bit grumpy when I came in."

"She's always been like that, you know, the war and all." Frank said as he made a cuckoo gesture with his finger.

Joe fell silent as he worked on his drink, a kind of contented dreamy feeling coming over him even as something tugged at his mind, a kind of blackness rising up...

Joe groaned as the sunlight hit his eyelids and chucked his pillow over his head to keep it out. Stupid sunlight. He thought. I just wanna drink some coffee...

Finally he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. That was a really weird dream. A yawn forced its way out and nearly split his jaw. I guess I should get up now. Though he couldn't quite manage to force himself to get out of bed. He looked up as the door to his room opened, and felt his eyes widen.

"So where was that cafe again?" The Masterchief asked.