Jacob's POV

Ugh.

As Jacob slowly opened his eyes, the sounds of the train moving along the tracks and the bright light from the sun shining through the nearby window made him wince in pain. Feeling this horrible in the morning had become a regular occurrence ever since he and Y/N had gone their separate ways just over a fortnight ago. He had thought that the drink would make him forget about her and her beauty, but he was sorely mistaken…if anything, getting drunk every night had made him think of her more.

"Jacob, love, drink some of this…Jacob?"

He looked up to meet the vibrant green eyes of his most recent pursuit, who was reaching out with a large glass of water. Maeve was unquestionably attractive, with long red hair and freckles and her thick Irish accent…but she wasn't Y/N. She was beautiful, treated him well and was incredibly patient with him after his nightly escapades, but he simply couldn't push away the thoughts of Y/N when they were intimate with one another. He had even secretly used a small photograph of Y/N that he kept under the lamp next to the bed to help him finish himself after they had sex yesterday – Maeve was talented in bed, but she didn't know what he liked, no – what he needed - the way that Y/N did.

"Thank you, Maeve." Jacob murmured quietly, reaching out to grab the glass of water, taking a small sip as he gently glanced over her features as she sauntered towards the window to draw the curtains.

"Evie's just outside Jacob…she's really worried about you."

Jacob could sense the disappointment in Maeve's voice. She deserves better than this, he thought to himself…she deserves better than me, like Y/N deserved better than me…surely that's why she left me for him? Just thinking about Y/N with him made a sharp pain shoot through Jacob's chest. Did she love him? Did he make love to her and bring her pleasure like I had? Did he truly make her happy?

"I'll let you two have a moment then, okay? I'll be in the next coach reading my book if you need me."

Maeve smiled to him, planting a small kiss on his left cheek before she strolled over to the door. He could hear her and his sister quietly speaking in the doorway but couldn't make out what they were saying. Nothing positive, I'm sure, he thought to himself as he spotted the firm look on Evie's face as she marched towards him just moments later.

"Jacob Frye, you absolute pillock – I'm so tired of your shit! We have work to do, but no! - Instead, you've decided, yet again, that the pub was far more important…what's gotten into you lately?!"

Her voice echoed loudly in his head, causing him to wince once more.

"Evie, please- "

"Fuck off Jacob." She hissed angrily. "Do you really think this is what Y/N would want you to be doing? Knocking back drink after drink until you are inebriated? It's pathetic. Father would-"

"DON'T BRING FATHER INTO THIS!" He snapped at her, immediately regretting his harsh and unforgiving tone as the throbbing pain in his forehead re-emerged. Evie, as usual, was right- Y/N had never liked it much when he stumbled through the door after having a few too many with the Rooks. She wouldn't say anything, of course- it wasn't in her nature. But he could sense it in her body language and the way she spoke: Y/N cared deeply for him and didn't want to see anything happen to him. But if she cared so much, why, oh why, did she leave me for him? He simply couldn't understand it.

"I'm sorry for snapping, Evie…really." He said, slowly sitting up so he could shift to the edge of the bed, finally coming face-to-face with his sister, who was sitting in a chair placed immediately beside the bed. The look on her face immediately shifted from that of irritation to one of concern and a hint of sympathy. "It's just been so difficult to deal with her leaving…I thought we were happy- I don't understand why any of this happened…and why him?"

"I don't know Jacob…" Evie mumbled, gently grabbing his hands to comfort him. "I wish I did; she was my friend too. I know things are hard for you right now and I know the love you feel for her only makes all this that much harder, but please, please think of poor Maeve- you're really putting the girl through hell."

Evie wasn't telling him anything that he didn't already know. He had met Maeve at the pub just three days after the split – desperately craving intimacy, he brought her back to the train that night. He had planned to let her down easy the next morning, writing her a short note before sneaking off quietly, but after finding her cuddled close against his side as they woke up, he couldn't bear the thought of losing that closeness. Admittedly, it had filled a portion, however minute, of the seemingly gigantic void Y/N had left. Surely if Y/N could move on so fast, I could too…except he didn't. And he wouldn't, at least not now, and certainly not with Maeve.

Night after night, no matter how much he drank, Y/N still crept her way into his dreams. Her glistening E/C eyes, her long H/C hair that gently swept over her soft skin…the way her breasts felt as his lips trailed between her nipples, and the way she mewed in pleasure when they made love. He simply couldn't get her out of his head.

"Can you do that for me, Jacob?...Jacob?"

The sound of Evie's voice snapped him back to reality. He hadn't even realised his sister had been talking to him, and he was struggling to recall when exactly she had released his hands and made her way to the doorway.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Get some rest, Jacob. And please, consider staying here tonight. If not for Maeve, or for yourself, do it for me."

The concerned look on his sister's face made him falter; it was just now occurring to him how much his behaviour was hurting Evie.

"I've got to go meet Henry now to handle some business, but I'll be back later tonight with something for supper. Maeve's left some food on the table for you if you get hungry in the meantime."

He quickly glanced over to the nearby table, noticing the small tray with some apple slices, chestnuts and bread with a small bowl of what smelled like soup; vegetable soup to be exact. He didn't even notice it before. Poor girl, he thought to himself; she was being so selfless, trying so hard to care for him, and he was giving her next to nothing in return.

"Thank you, Evie."

"I'll see you later Jacob." She smiled, "Take care of yourself, okay?"

He forced a smile towards her, trying not to let her see the distress hidden inside him.

"See you…wait, Evie? - Say hi to Greenie for me." He teased with a smirk.

Rolling her eyes, Jacob watched as his sister jumped off the train onto the platform beside them. Once he was certain that he was alone, he lifted up the lamp, pulling out the photo placed beneath it.

She was absolutely beautiful. He remembered the day that the photograph was taken as if it was yesterday – the pair had been invited to a ball hosted by the Disraeli's. Y/N absolutely dreaded the thought of wearing a gown; similar to Evie, she found them infuriating and much preferred her assassin's robes, trousers and boots. Still, the deep burgundy dress framed her body perfectly, accentuating the curves of her body in the most perfect way. The gown was cut low, but in a way that managed to preserve her modesty, with straps that fell off her shoulders. Her hair was pulled back into a braided updo and she was wearing just enough makeup to highlight her natural beauty. Looking at her standing next to him make his heart drop – what could this other man give her that he couldn't? She looked so happy in the picture, her eyes sparkling as he held her close to him…what had changed?

He took one last glance at the photo before replacing it at its home beneath the lamp's base. He was lucky nobody had found his secret hiding spot; if Evie or Maeve found it, there would most certainly be questions.

As he stood up, Jacob felt his stomach rumble. I guess I should have something to eat, he thought to himself as he approached the table, dragging the chair that Evie had sat in, placing it in front of the tray of food. He spent half an hour nibbling at the bits in front of him, eventually finishing the soup and most of the other snacks. He sat the tray to the side, silently reminding himself to thank Maeve later for preparing the food for him.

Slipping back into the bed, Jacob struggled once again to push Y/N from his mind as a yawn escaped his lips. Minutes later, as he was gently slipping off into his dreams once more, he was greeted with an image of Y/N's lips passionately meeting his once more as his tongue explored her mouth and her fingers tangled through his now messy hair.