Hello from hopelesslyfabulous; this is my first fanfic, so please do be kind. But.. please do also be merciless in critique. :) Leave a comment, and let me know what ya think! Much obliged, all.

Cheers,

hopelesslyfabulous

It felt good at the time, you know.

It even felt good to get all beat up.

I thought I wouldn't even mind dying.

The words kept burning through her head, turning everything else to ash. And she was afraid, so afraid, so very afraid that she might lose him, the one person left in the world who she could not, would not, afford to lose. As she watched him sleep, a lonesome tear leaked out of her right eye and dripped onto her shaking hands below.

She dipped her chin down and nuzzled her nose into the red scarf, remembering the time that he had given it to her. That day when he had saved her, not just from death but from un-death. She was broken. And he had fixed her.

She reached out and brushed her fingertips against his, then reluctantly pulled them back to her side. She pushed a stray hair out of her eyes, and looked at the bandage around his forehead and felt the fire consume her heart once again. She was furious for all the pain he had endured for the sake of humanity, and for what it was turning him into.

He was being pulled away from her.

Ever so slowly.

But pulled away all the same.

And it scared her to death.

All she had ever wanted was to keep him safe and secure, to stay by his side forever, to let him know that -

The sleeping boy on the bed below her suddenly drew in a sharp breath.

His nostrils flared, and he moaned, eyes shooting around behind his eyelids.

She sighed slowly, eyes blurry with sadness.

The boy began to thrash violently in his sleep, kicking and grunting in blind rage.

She took his hand in hers, gripped it tight, and reached out with her other hand to stroke his hair gently. Cracks spider-webbed across her heart with each convulsion, until a soft cry escaped her lips. The boy slowly calmed down.

She looked at his beautiful face. He looked so vulnerable. So afraid.

And as she watched, a crystal orb drip from his eyes down onto the white of the sheets, hanging there for a second, before sinking into the fabric and spreading in a dark circle of moisture.

And her heart shattered into a million little pieces. All of the feelings bottled up behind a stoic and stony facade broke through their prison of self-control, and before she could compose herself, she was sobbing freely, tears streaming from both eyes as she held his hand. She brought his hand up to her face and pressed her cheek into it, taking short, ragged breaths, as she struggled to stop the rush of emotion.

A peaceful expression returned to the boy's face. She gently took his hand and brought her lips to each of its knuckles, rough and calloused from war and grief.

The boy stirred.

"Mikasa…"

It was just a whisper. No, a whisper of a whisper. But she heard it. She heard him say her name.

She laced her fingers into his and brought his hand to her mouth again.

And she made a promise. A promise to never leave his side from now on, to protect him and to care for him. She squeezed his hand.

And… and to love you. I will always love you… and I want to be the first face you see when you wake up and the last face you see before you go to sleep; I want my shoulder to be the only shoulder you cry on and I want my name to be the only name that dances through your mind and your heart, and… I want to be the home you come back to. Just as you did for me.

She felt a slight squeeze on her hand, and heard a contented sigh from the sleeping boy, as she wiped away the last of her tears.

I love you. Eren.