TWILIGHT-WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
*Bella and Edward are in "their" meadow enjoying the squirrels*
"Bella dear?" says Edward as he bites the head off a doughnut, (yes, a doughnut)"there's something we need to talk about, and wait why am I eating a doughnut?" he says running off to catch a squirrel.
"Yes Eddy?" replies Bella, extremely intrigued at the sight of Edward eating an innocent squirrel child!
He returns and kisses his bloody lips on her forehead.
"Bella, um, I don't know how to say this but, there's somebody else." he says ashamed.
( don't be like " O-M-G!", just shut up and keep eating your fried chicken)
"WHAT THA FUDGE!" Bella exclaims, "Well then I have someone else too, OH JACOB!"
"Bella, you see that's the thing..." Edward explains as he runs off to the human Jacob emerging from the trees.
Jacob and Edward run up to each other frolicking and skipping in slow-motion when they finally reach each other and suddenly-
embrace and start mackin' it!
"NO JACOB! YOU WERE SO MUCH HOTTER THAN HIM!" Yelled Bella at the horrid sight, "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME! I DIDN'T THIK YOU'D GO GAY"
"You were too difficult so I went for someone superly more attractive." Jacob said, and Edward agreed.
"F YOU!" Bella screamed at them both.
"Bet'cha wanna!" They both called back, as they skipped off into the distance holding hands as Bambi and a rainbow unicorn followed them off singing opera.
(yes, yes I know...stop choking on your chicken! )
THE END!