Random plot bunny. Very sad, character death, but gets weird and funny at the end. Makes next to no sense at the end, so I guess you could say that that's when I found the stash of crack. . . and then it gets sad again. Please don't hurt me, I had to follow the gods of creativity!

Disclaimer: Don't sue, it belongs not to me.

Hope you enjoy!

Roy had half a mind to make those eyes illegal in public and force the kid to wear contacts.

Every time he walked in, wearing that coat- so familiar- and that braid- very familiar- and sporting those unmistakable orbs- too familiar- he wanted to toss a pair of sunglasses at his head just so that he didn't have to look into those eyes.

I failed.

This boy was a reminder of his failure. The spitting image of the man he couldn't save.

Maybe his skin was a bit paler. Maybe he was the slightest bit taller. Still, his outfit and hair and eyes- those damn eyes- were exactly like him.

"Here you go, General, sir," the boy said, depositing an immaculately written report on General Roy Mustang's desk. They were the only two in the room.

Roy blinked. "Oh, yes. Thank you, Major Elric."

The boy nodded submissively before turning and walking out.

At least he doesn't have Fullmetal's temper.

Roy rested his head in his hands. Every time that boy walked through that door, he remembered it. The day he realized he hadn't been there for his youngest subordinate. He'd managed to keep most of his subordinates safe, but then the kid had to go and die. And Roy hadn't been there to save him.

Fullmetal was twenty-one. He'd gotten married only nine months before. He'd been on the mission for five of those months. He hadn't even known that his wife, Winry, was pregnant. Triplets.

The birth of twins was rare at best. Triplets being born and surviving was nothing short of miraculous, bordering on impossible.

The first to come out was a boy. Blonde and blue-eyed, just like his mother, and squalling loud enough to rival Fullmetal when he was called short. He was wrapped in a blue towel.

The second was a girl with hair like spun gold and eyes like a cloudless sky, screaming like nobody's business. She was wrapped in a yellow towel and laid beside her brother.

The last was a boy. Hair the color of the sun, fiery and vibrant. He didn't open his eyes. He didn't cry. He wasn't breathing. He didn't move. He was dead.

Winry began to moan, keening noises issuing from somewhere within her. The sound of pure grief. Her child was lost to her before she really even knew him.

Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, the stillborn child let loose a great screech. It was the sound of pure pain, like a thousand knives were piercing its small, fragile body.

And it opened its eyes and wailed.

Those eyes were pure gold. Aurum. And so familiar. . . Already they were filled with wisdom and pain, as if someone had stolen Fullmetal's eyes and placed them into this infant.

Roy had heard the story a thousand times, and he still couldn't get over the fact that a dead child- a dead, non-living, stillborn child- had come to life in such a way. He had visited immediately, and low and behold! Three perfect, living children, waiting for their father to come home.

A month later, they received the news. The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, had died while on a special mission for Major General Roy Mustang. The mission was relatively simple, but he'd gotten sidetracked by the man he was supposed to detain. He'd been protecting a little girl from the crazed alchemist. When the spike pierced him, he seemed to not even notice. He kept on fighting until the man had been subdued. Then he fell over, having lost too much blood.

He had cried for the first time in years, because he knew he would never see his beloved brother and precious wife again. Still, he had died smiling, after telling a nearby soldier who was trying to staunch the flow of blood to take down his next words.

"Tell them I'm sorry. Tell Al that I had to save her the way we couldn't save Nina. Tell Winry and Al that I love them and will miss them. And tell the Flame Bastard to bury me in Resembool. I don't want honorary stuff in Central. Bury me at home."

Moments later, the life left his eyes, leaving glassy pools of gold still glistening with salty tears.

When Roy heard, he almost didn't believe it. Then they brought in his body. Roy watched as Al choked on his own breath and began to cry. Mei Chang clung to his arm, tears in her own eyes despite the dislike she had always appeared to harbor for the man.

Winry was silent. She didn't cry. It was like she couldn't do anything but stare at the shell of the man she loved. Like Ed after his mother's death, grief had robbed her of her tears.

The children were in the nursery back at the house, being cared for by the elderly Pinako. She hadn't been able to come because of her bad leg, and because "I can't bear to see the fiery shrimp like that."

Afterwards, Winry had asked that Al and Mei adopt her children. "I can't raise them without him," was all she'd supplied for an explanation. She didn't cry, but her voice cracked. "I can't raise his children without him being there. Even if he had only been there for a short period of time, I would have liked them to know him. Now. . . let them have a father and mother who will care for them better than I could."

"At least be family to them," Mei pleaded.

Winry nodded, smiling a little. "Of course. I couldn't leave them. Just. . . have them call me Auntie Winry." She laughed a harsh, dry laugh. "I'm not strong enough to do this 'mothering' thing alone, but I can be an auntie."

Mei nodded, beginning to cry. Al just looked numb, but he nodded anyway. He'd do anything for his brother's children. Anything.

The oldest was named William Van Elric. He carried the burden of Hohenheim's name with grace, even though he didn't discover its meaning until he was twelve. He was the spitting image of Winry, but he retained Ed's temper.

The second was named Trisha Nina Elric. This was a heavy name, loaded with meaning, but it didn't bother Trisha, who caught on to her "auntie's" habit of throwing heavy objects at people, although she preferred pans to wrenches.

The last child was given the name Edward Maes Elric. He was, for some reason, the calm child. He had none of his first namesake's hatred of being called short, nor did he gravitate towards cameras like his second namesake. He was sweet and kind and very, very smart.

Also, for some incredible reason, he was born with the ability to perform alchemy by clapping his hands.

This made no sense to anyone, but it allowed Edward to convince his family to join the State Alchemists at sixteen, making him the second youngest alchemist to ever join the military. He was given the name Steel*. And now, he was under the (rather large) command of Roy Mustang.

He looks just like him.

The resemblance really was uncanny. Every time he entered the room wearing that red overcoat that Fullmetal had always loved, his long golden hair neatly done in a braid, the officers in the room would look on in shock before realizing the truth. No, it wasn't the Hero of the People, come back from the dead. It was his relation. To most of the world his nephew.

To a select, secretive few, his son.

And to Roy Mustang, Fullmetal.

Roy secretly believed that Edward Elric's spirit inhabited his son's body.

It was a stupid, irrational theory, but he had slowly become convinced of its authenticity. After all, despite this Edward's calm demeanor, there were certain reactions and characteristics that wouldn't stop bothering Roy.

One: when he turned three, he stopped drinking milk. He never mentioned any dislike towards the drink, and no one got into the habit of offering any to him (he looked too much like Fullmetal for them to think of giving it to him), but when he thought no one was looking, Edward would glare at the bottle of white liquid fervently, like it was the cause of all his suffering. Roy noticed but never mentioned it.

Two: whenever he was called small, his eyebrow and antenna would twitch. It was a small twitch, virtually unnoticeable since he didn't change his facial expression or body language in any other way, but it was there. Even when his shortness was only implied, it was there.

Three: he was a genius when it came to alchemy. Circles that Roy had trouble understanding were as easy for him as the alphabet. Codes, too, were a snap (and not one of Roy's snaps, a regular, non-explosive snap).

Four: he was too loyal for his own good. When anyone on his team was in danger, or someonw in his family was in danger, he'd drop anything and everything to help them. He would throw himself in the path of a blade for them.

Five: he'd do anything to help a little girl in trouble, even if it meant getting hurt in the process. That was the one thing that trumped his loyalty to his friends and family; he would not abandon a little girl.

Six: his alchemy. This, to Roy, was the most obvious reason of them all. The child could clap his hands and do alchemy just like that. He hadn't lost anything. He had never committed human transmutation. And yet he could do something that only those who had seen the Truth (i.e. Izumi Curtis, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric the first, and Roy himself) could do. Therefore, he had to remember the Truth, which meant he really was Edward Elric.

Really, after all of that evidence, it didn't seem that far-fetched.

That didn't mean Roy was willing to share his theory, though.

Still. . .

"Steel?" Roy asked before he lost his nerve.

A pause in footsteps. Then the footsteps grew louder and Edward Maes Elric poked his head in.

"Yes, General?"

You can do this, Roy. . .

General Roy Mustang took a deep breath, fixed a smirk on his face, and said, "Make sure no one steps on you on your way out."

The boy's eyebrow and antenna twitched, and some hidden fire in his eyes flared. He looked absolutely furious.

Then he grinned.

"Don't worry, sir, I'm much to tall for them to be able to step on me!" he replied with a shit-eating grin.

Roy's smirk became a smile. "I see. Indeed, you are kind of tall. . . to a flea."

"Who are you calling short enough to be only kind of tall to a flea, you wet match?" Ed countered, but there was no venom to his words.

"So it is you, Edward."

"Of course it is. Who else would it be?"

"Hilarious, kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

"No, I suppose you aren't. . . Fullmetal."

The boy smiled. Really, really smiled.

"How long have you known?"

"A year or so. You?"

"Ever since I was born."

Roy sighed. "So it's true? You're really Edward Elric?"

Ed laughed. "Yep. Both of 'em. You know I died the minute I was born? I mean, I've visited my own GRAVE! Is that weird or what?"

Roy sighed. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Nope. But you have to admit that my acting skills have improved immensely."

"Too true. You haven't even really done a true short rant yet, despite how many times I've heard people call you small."

"Hey, I'm taller this time around!"

"By what, two centimeters? One? Less?"

"It's seven and a half, for your information. That's three quarters of a decimeter right there!"

"Nobody uses decimeters, Fullmetal."

"Who cares?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Anyway. . . am I the only one who knows? Or do the others know, too?"

Ed frowned. "I think everyone who knew me in my past life suspects it. . . except for Win- Mom. Mom isn't around enough to suspect anything, and she's too nice to me anyway." Ed shuddered. "The worst part of this is that the love of my life is now my mother. . . and I still remember, you know, creating myself and my siblings with her." A look of amused horror came over his face. "Okay, I've officially realized that I have experienced weirder things than dying the minute I was born and visiting my own grave."

Roy shivered. "No kidding. That's just strange right there."

"Be glad you don't have to remember it."

"I am."

For a moment, Roy and Edward simply looked at each other.

Then the phone rang, and Roy jerked awake.

"Sir? General?"

It was Edward.

"Ah, Major Elric?"

The boy nodded.

Roy sighed and placed his head in his hands. "Please forgive me for dozing off. Why are you here?"

"I brought my report from the mission you gave me." Edward handed him a sheaf of papers, written immaculately.

"Yes, thank you. Please place them in the inbox of paperwork."

"Yes sir."

"Don't let anyone step on you on your way out." Roy froze as he said this. He hadn't meant to. He didn't want his dream- his common dream, one that he dreamed almost every night- to be proven wrong.

There it was. That antenna twitch.

Then:

"I won't, sir. Thank you, sir. Good day."

The door banged closed behind him, slightly harder than normal.

Roy let his forehead meet his desk. No, he wasn't Fullmetal. He was Edward Maes Elric, the Steel Alchemist. He was his father's son.

Truly his father's son.

With a sigh, Roy grabbed the report and quickly skimmed it. Each important point of the mission was clear and concise. The report itself was organized into a pristine collection of papers, filled with small, neatly lettered words.

Roy groaned in disappointment and made to close the report- and froze.

There, on the last page. . . Crossed out as though he hadn't meant to write it out. . .

Do your paperwork properly, wet match. Don't you dare burn this. I worked hard on it, and I don't want you torching it, Colonel Bastard!

Roy grinned.

"Maybe I was right after all."

It was the eyes.

. . . I don't even know. This just came out of my head with an explosive POP! and I wrote it out. Don't ask me why the hell I wrote this shit.

So, anyway, tell me how much it sucked by reviewing! Don't follow, it's a oneshot, but favorite if you actually thought it was good!

*sigh* We all have bad days, I suppose. . .

I don't want to do a word of the day, so you can go-

Dead Edward Elric I: ANNNNNND we're done here!

Love ya! lulu (Me: How DARE you put my sign out there without my permission, Edwa- MMMPH!)