How's Your Aspen?
Note: If I owned Naruto, I'd be out right now scarfing down all the money I made from it in the form of steak, sushi, and tiramisu. Yes, I'm hungry right now. :(
Warning: Suggestive themes
It all started with a simple conversation not meant for Tobi's ears. And how could you possibly blame innocent little Tobi, who just happened to be passing by the room when he heard Deidara and Sasori talking. And what he overheard almost overloaded and crashed his brain.
"Deidara, how's your ass been? I was worried about it after that day- was I too rough?"Sasori asked. Tobi's jaw almost dropped to the floor. Sasori couldn't mean what he said, could he?
"No, you weren't too rough,"Deidara replied. "It was just right- it wouldn't have gone in otherwise-un."
"This can't be happening!"Tobi thought in a panic. "Sasori and Deidara can't be talking aboutb what I think they're talking about! It's not possible! Sasori and Deidara-sempai just can't be lovers!" But what Deidara said next confirmed Tobi's fears.
"I made sure that it was wet already before you put it in." Sasori "hm"-ed.
"Yeah, that could definently help... is it still limp?"
"No, it's gotten more upright," Deidara replied.
"Good."Sasori replied. "Let's check it out right now... I want to make sure that it's OK." There was a sound of cloth being moved, and a soft release of breath.
"Hmm..." Sasori sighed. "It looks good."
"Doesn't it?" Deidara asked. "Do you want to... you know... go touch it-un?"
"Yeah," Sasori replied. Tobi couldn't take it any more, and charged into the room.
"Deidara-sempai! No! You musn't let Sasori-sam touch your 'special place!' That needs to be reserved for that special someone in your life! Sasori-san isn't that special person!" Deidara and Sasori blinked.
"What are you talking about, Tobi?" Sasori asked.
"Don't say anything, you, you disgusting pervert! Don't touch Deidara-sempai!"
"Tobi, I have no idea what you are saying!" Deidara yelped.
"Sasori-san was going to molest you! First he asked you how your ass was-" Here Sasori cut Tobi off.
"I did nothing of the kind! I was asking Deidara about his ASPEN, as in an aspen tree! We planted one right outside that door last weekend!" He gestured toward the screen door, which had a curtain that was lifted. Sure enough, a small tree was growing. "I helped Deidara plant it, and I think I might have been too rough with it, since it was kind of droopy after we planted it," Sasori explained. Deidara shook his head in disgust.
"Jeez, Tobi, you pervert! Get your mind out of the gutter-un!"
End
Author's Comments-
The idea for this story came about when I heard my aunt talking about the aspen trees that her neighbor was planting. I hadn't had my morning coffee yet, and I only heard part of the conversation, so all I heard was "Ass-Bean Trees." At least I realized what she meant was 'aspen trees' very quickly (unlike Tobi!)
-Kaboom