My name is Darren Shan. I used to be a normal kid who went to school, was one of the best at soccer, and had a really good family. That all changed when I went to a freak show with my best friend, Steve. See, Steve recognized one of the freaks from a picture in his vampire books. He'd been performing as Larten Crepsley, but turned out to be Vur Horston- a vampire.
The trouble really began when I stole Mr. Crepsley's performing spider, Madam Octa. I'd always loved spiders and when I saw him onstage with the deadly arachnid I was entranced by her beauty. On the night I decided to show Steve what I learned about controlling her my sister, Annie, interrupted us and Madam bit Steve. Luckily she was trained not to kill on the first bite- but he would have died if I hadn't gone to Mr. Crepsley and became a half vampire in exchange for an antidote for Steve. Since then I'd been travelling with Mr. Crepsley, living with him and learning under him.
"Darren, go ahead and polish Madam's cage would you?" the vampire asked absently as he fiddled with some suit of his.
I grumbled under my breath and did it anyhow. I careful not to let my fingers poke through the bars into the colorful spider's cage.I did not want another accidental bite to happen especially to me. "And Darren, when you're finished, I'd like you to make a small stop and gather my dress shirt from Truska."
I frowned at him and his over load of orders. They were scatterbrained and unlike him to rattle off demands like that. All that aside, it was getting on my nerves the way he was bossing me around. I paused in polishing Madam Octa's cage, setting the rag aside and cutting an irritated glance at him.
"Oh, Darren, one more thing-" I swiftly turned toward Mr. Crepsley, cutting him off.
"Mr. Crepsley, geez! I only have so many things I can do before I collapse will you knock it off?" I said a little loudly, "Holy cow, I have other stuff I do too, you know."
Mr. Crepsley blinked at me. He held one arm across his chest, and propped the other upon it so that he could stroke that familiar scar that ran down the side of his face. "...Sorry, Darren. I didn't realize it inconvenienced you so." in his voice, I could hear the smallest bit of sarcasm. But I was willing to overlook that in favor of the apology in it, however begrudging it was.
"Well, my time is very precious." I said, cracking a smile to show that I was only joking.
"Hm." Crepsley grunted, his lips twitched and I knew he was amused. I felt my cheeks get a bit warm- feeling like he was laughing at me rather than with me. "Well, then, Master Shan, I suppose then, that you may finish Madam's cage then leave to do whatever the devil else besides your chores." he returned to his attire, shifting through his outfits (he had only a few and all in mostly red).
I couldn't help but to pin him down in my gaze. I'd been doing it since Mr. Crepsley helped me save Debbie, a girl I sort of liked (long story). I used to watch him when he went out during our trip to his city. Back then I thought he was becoming a monster (another long story) but now I watched him for an entirely different reason.
I allowed my eyes to take in the pale face, and sturdy body I surprised myself when I concluded that Mr. Crepsley wasn't actually half bad to look at. Sure those scars were pretty ugly, but I bet that without them he'd be startlingly handsome if you're into that type of thing. Even with the scars… he wasn't exactly a displeasure to look at. Well, actually, it made him a bit more handsome with them. It made him look like a rugged beast with a pure heart- like you'd read in romance novels.
"...Darren?"
"Huh?" I asked dumbly.
"...You're staring…" he informed me.
"Oh…" I muttered, then exclaimed more loudly as what he said finally registered, "oh…!" I flushed easily, getting pink, "Yeah sorry, I spaced out for a moment."
"Mm…" he replied. I didn't look away even as he did. I simply let my mind wander, it's focus on the specimen sitting across from me. I was fixated on what it was that drew me to him. I'd grown increasingly close to him, to the point where I'd hang out with the dusty old bat rather than Evra. It wasn't something I'd ever wanted before; I just noticed it for myself a few months back.
I chalked it up to my best friend having grown distant due to his age. Evra was still my friend. The snake boy just grew into a snake man, and lately it seemed that he didn't have time for little kids like me anymore. So, without my bestfriend, I just attached myself to Mr. Crepsley. There were other kids my age around, but none of them were the same as Evra, or Sam. And Evra and Sam never could really understand being me, being a vampire. Mr. Crepsley knows that and far more than I might ever about ourselves. He's someone I can go to and confide in, someone I can truly count on… I just might have started to understand that better. That made sense to me in a way, and I accepted that in the billowing storm of thoughts that was my mind.
"Darren." Mr. Crepsley coughed, "You are staring once again."
"Oh- sorry, Mr. Crepsley!" I said, turning away shyly. I heard him chuckle softly to himself and mutter something under his breath that made my ears hot and my cheeks flame.
My stomach rolled with inexplicably when he set his things away to turn to face me more directly, "Is there something we should discuss Darren?" I guess he finally decided to confront me. These weren't the first instances he's caught me staring him down, probably with a strange look on my face.
"No, I'm sorry…" the sound of nothingness prompted my to explain so that the void of quiet didn't stretch on for too long, "I was just kind of thinking about when you first took me on as your assistant." I admitted.
Mr. Crepsley's eyebrows shot up and he made a thoughtful noise, clothing forgotten, "Really? How so?"
"Just that I used to hate you a lot." I offered, feeling like a bug under a microscope (I wonder how my stares had him feeling).
He grunted, "You tried to kill me." he said, a smile working onto his features. "More than once. You absolutely loathed me."
I shifted on my feet, feeling really silly now for how I acted towards him then, "Well... now I… I can't see my life any other way."
Mr. Crepsley leaned back in his chair, "And you don't regret becoming a half vampire?" Per the norm, Mr. Crepsley cut straight to what he wanted.
I took a few moments to actually consider the question. Did I? Mostly it didn't bother me but sometimes I would miss my family and my friends and my old life… days like those were rough. I'd have to go somewhere private because it was certain that I'd cry. "Well, I do sometimes. When I think about Mom and Dad and Annie and ...Steve." I saw Mr. Crepsley's shoulders fall into a slump and his face pull into a sad frown which caused me to hesitate.
He rested his hand over his face and breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry, Darren. I don't know what I was thinking by blooding you. I brought a curse on you that can't be undone-"
"It sucks, but there's no use in moping about it. You told me that, remember?" I asked, giving him a brave smile. I was a little unsettled by his reaction. I felt like I upset him with talk of missing my family. It didn't occur to me that Mr. Crepsley actually felt genuine sorrow for taking me from my life. Certainly not sorrowful enough that it actually gave him feel grief too.
Mr. Crepsley pulled his hand away to study me. "I remember." he sighed. "...Darren, I have to ask you to leave while I think on something. I'll finish Madam's cage, don't worry on it." He took his suit and put it back in its box, with an air of dismissal. However, I didn't move for a few seconds, and stood there studying his back.
"Mr. Crepsley…" I saw his head tilt to the side a fraction, listening to me, "I didn't mean to upset you, you know. I don't miss my family as much as I used to." I was acting a little desperate to return the air of comfort again. I may have been older than when he blooded me (though I didn't show it), but I still didn't understand the complex feelings he might have been having. This was becoming overwhelming.
Mr. Crepsley turned to me, his face unreadable. "Master Shan, I just want some time to think." he cracked a smile, "And you don't need to worry yourself over my feelings, Darren. I'm a grown man, your teacher. It's my job to worry about you."
"Well, if I don't who does worry about you?" I asked. It sounded strange coming from my mouth. I always said things that sounded much older, and deeper in understanding than adults pegged me for, and it always surprised them anyway. This time, I surprised myself. I spoke on a subject I wasn't sure even I understood that well. It didn't stop there either, as I found that my lips moved again of it's own accord, "You know, it's okay to lean on someone for stuff. And it's okay to lean on me even though you're an adult and I'm not. We have each other's backs, right? We're supposed to trust each other, we promised."
I could really tell that it had Mr. Crepsley shaken: his eyebrows practically disappeared into his hairline when they shot up. That was twice that I got to see an unusual slip of his cool, calm demeanor. After a while of trying to figure each other out in a silence pregnant with our heavy thoughts, Mr. Crepsley cleared his throat.
"Well, Darren, I am thankful that you would think of my needs…" he trailed off for a moment at a loss, as if what I'd said hit him off track again. "...but," he recovered, waving his hand, "I'm perfectly fine, right now."
I nodded obediently, setting the cloth down upon Madam Octa's cage, "Okay. I'll leave you to it."
"Darren, before you go," Mr. Crepsley stood, and crossed the room to touch my shoulder with his large, warm hand. "thank you, for offering anyway. But I really don't want you concerning yourself about me." he gently squeezed my shoulder in a rare display of affection. Three times he surprised me.
I left with a strange feeling of emptiness, almost like disappointment. I shrugged the feeling away and continued on with the rest of the evening as normal, although, I couldn't shake the ghost of his strong hand on my shoulder, and the wonderful warmth it gave me when it squeezed.
The next night I woke Mr. Crepsley as normal. Greeting him with a small glass of blood and his breakfast. "Morning." I had much practice and was proud of the omelet and buttered toast I brought him.
He grunted, not as verbal when he first wakes, nor as inclined to be cheerful. He took a bite of the toast and chewed it broodingly in his mouth. "Morning, Master Shan." he announced finally after a sip of blood. "Your chores are done I presume?" he asked.
"Yeah." I replied evenly, expecting him to give me more.
"Then I'd like you to get some practice in with Madam Octa before tonight's show. I am going to Mr. Tall to inform him of a few things." He stepped out of his coffin, towering over me at his full height.
Curiosity had me prying, "About what?"
A familiar sparkle returned to his eyes and he tapped his nose without saying a word. Damned secretive vampire. When Mr. Crepsley nodded at Octa's cage I took the hint and left with her back to my tent I shared with Evra Von, a man that had the skin, eyes, and nose of a snake. That was his act at the Cirque. Performing along with his large, exotic python.
"Aw!" Evra gasped when he saw me with the spider, "Not that ugly thing!" he shivered, "She gives me the creeps."
"Yeah? How do you think I feel about your snake? At least the spider has a cage." I laughed lightly so that he knew I was only kidding.
"Ha-ha, whatever, brat." but his face was split by a toothy smirk, "Why has Mr. Crepsley got you practicing here, anyway? Don't you do this in his van? Where the spider can be monitored?"
"Yeah well… he's being elusive-" I retorted with sarcasm, rolling my eyes.
"You mean 'himself'?" Evra supplied while I drew a breath.
"-and sent me off with the busy work of practicing with Octa so that he could chat with Mr. Tall and avoid my questions."
"Oh?" Evra sat forward in his hammock in interest, "You think that you're going to leave soon? You know he talks to Mr. Tall all elusively before you guys get ready to leave!" I wrinkled my nose at his deliberate choice of 'elusive'.
"I dunno, I wish we didn't have to. We wouldn't leave for fun, I know that much!" I set Madam Octa on my bedside table and sighed, "And he doesn't only talk to Mr. Tall because we're gonna leave… sometimes he may have a conversation about other things…"
"Yeah, like you. Have you been performing poorly?" He asked, batting his lashes.
"No! He just wanted to run something by Mr. Tall. That's what he said, at least." I said thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling as I recalled.
"Mysterious. I hope it's not too bad, vampire boy." He turned away to tend to his snake as I faced Madam Octa and took the flute into my hands.
"Yeah… I hope it won't either." I muttered. I unhooked the latch on Madam's cage, and placed the flute to my lips.
I played softly, getting her to squat and sway in place to warm up my fingers and her legs. Then I played a fast, jig-like tune. The beauty of all those years practicing that I learned how to play fancy while getting her to do tricks. The flute had nothing to do with it, except in helping me to concentrate my thoughts to the fat, deadly spider. However it takes a lot of work learning how to play eerily beautiful while I send commands to Madam Octa. When I first tested my abilities Mr. Crepsley remained nearby to help me if necessary. I had to learn to better my abilities if I wanted to impress our audience.
Madam Octa hopped around, spinning webs between the support polls in the tent and doing hand stands. I didn't want to push her too hard right before a performance so I kept it increasingly simple. But I still I was so solely focused on Octa, that I didn't notice Evra's snake creeping in to get itself a snack. Just before it struck, I saw the green monster and tooted loudly to give Madam the command to jump away. Evra and I were quick to put the snake and spider away from each other: the snake on its pillow, the spider in her cage.
Evra sighed in relief when the spider was in her cage, "Sorry Evra, I didn't see…" I apologised breathlessly.
"No, it's okay." he replied, his breath short too. "Just… Do you think you can take Octa somewhere else?"
"Yeah, sure." I replied, "I can go to Mr. Crepsley's van and practice. I'm not sure why he wouldn't let me stay there any way."
I went out, to the perfect place to practice, and keep Madam Octa contained incase I lost concentration. I had to weave through different vans and practicing freaks as they got ready for the show. As I got to Mr. Crepsley's van, I thought I heard his voice, muffled as it was through the door, speaking fervently to someone else. I knew better than to eavesdrop on him, but curiosity got the better of me, and I set Madam Octa's cage on the ground in front of the steps and leaned my ear on the door to listen.
"-...and how can I accomplish that? I don't want to push him if he's not ready." Mr. Crepsley's voice filtered to my ear. I instantly ingrained myself into their conversation. I just knew that this was about me.
"Larten, if you're unsure about him, then test him on the way. If he reacts then he's ready. If not then leave it." Mr. Tall replied.
"Hibernius, I don't think it's so black and white…" I've only heard Mr. Tall's first name twice, and still it struck something with me. It just fit somehow, in a way I couldn't explain. I heard Mr. Crepsley sigh in an aggravated manner as he continued. "But I don't think I can keep myself from it anymore. The boy is getting older, maybe it's time I try…"
"Then you know what to do, Larten." Mr. Tall informed him, "But maybe it will be easier now that the boy has heard some of the problem."
"How do you mean?" Mr. Crepsley asked. Mr. Tall didn't reply to him verbally, but the next thing I knew, the solid door was pulled away from me and I was sent sprawling ungracefully to the floor with a loud Oof!
Mr. Crepsley frowned down at me, and crossed his arms. I stood to brush myself off, patting my legs of invisible dust. "Well, Darren." Mr. Tall greeted, "It is a surprise to see you here."
I looked up at him and sheepishly shrugged. With no way to sugar coat what I was doing, I stated honestly, "I really hadn't meant to snoop... I was going to practice with Octa in here where I wouldn't be in Evra's way. I knew Mr. Crepsley would be speaking with you, but I thought it would be in your tent."
Mr. Crepsley shook his head, "Darren, you know better than to eavesdrop on my personal affairs." there was the hint of a growl in his voice, "You should have left."
"I was! But I heard that you were talking about me." I said. "You're going to test me?"
Mr. Crepsley blinked at me, his stern expression slipped for just a moment, "How much do you know?" he demanded.
"Just that you were going to test me on the way… on the way to where?" I pressed, "And what test?"
Mr. Crepsley pursed his lips. Mr. Tall, whose hands were clasped behind his back, cleared his throat, "I will leave you both to talk." He passed by me, pulling his hands to the front. I thought I saw a flash of something. When I turned to get a better view, I found Mr. Tall behind me with Madam Octa's cage in his hands, "Here Darren. We mustn't forget Octa, she would have been outside by herself all night."
I blinked at him, and took her cage. I was used to the mysterious way he went about things by now. He tipped his hat a little before walking to the right, and out. I placed Madam's cage on her stand beside Mr. Crepsley's coffin, and spoke to him again, "So what is it you were talking to Mr. Tall about?" I asked.
"It doesn't concern you, Darren. And don't think your eavesdropping will go unpunished." He furrowed his brows in irritation.
I gave him an indignant sigh. "I should know, you know! It was about me, after all!"
"You wouldn't know for sure, Darren. That is the problem, you always jumped to conclusions." He declared, irked. "I could be taking on another assistant."
I felt my anger rise at his dodginess, and I let out a soft growl, "So tell me with a straight face that it's not about me!"
"That's not even a smart way to go about it." Mr. Crepsley scoffed, "I can lie with ease, Darren."
"Not to me." I informed him confidently, "I know you won't lie to me."
"Oh really? And how are you so sure of that?" Mr. Crepsley crossed his arms and waited for a response.
"Because you hold yourself to a higher standard!" I replied. "You may omit information, but you'd never lie to me. Not to any vampire. You've got too much integrity." I smirked at him. I'd felt like I had his number.
Mr. Crepsley's frown faded and his lip twitched, "You must feel high and mighty. Do you think you've backed me into a corner?" I nodded and waited for the rest of the information. "Don't get so proud, Darren. I may not lie, but, like you said, I can omit information."
The widened cheeky smile that followed really irritated me. I sighed in exasperation and threw up my hands, "Can't you just tell me?!"
The next thing Mr. Crepsley did made me want to punch the vampire square in the nose; he lifted up his fist, and extended his index finger and tapped his finger to his nose with a bright twinkle in his eyes. I knew two things then: I wasn't getting anything out of him, and I wanted to know now more than ever. I stood there with my face set in a deep scowl, which made him chuckle. He did it deliberately to piss me off, damn him.
"Well, Darren. Since my talk with Mr. Tall was interrupted," I scoffed at him and turned away, "you may spend the rest of the time between now and tonight's performance with me. You will practice, then you will be given a few errands to run. And a couple chores around the van. Mr. Tall has the others setting up the theater. So you're free until it's time to perform."
"Oh come on." I complained.
"Would you rather I take you over my knee and we get the punishment over with now?" Mr. Crepsley asked, "If you want to whine like a child, you'll receive punishment as one. I thought that I was being more than fair."
I didn't think he was being serious but one look at his face squashed those thoughts. "Okay! Okay! I'll do the chores." I resigned myself to his orders and started practicing while Mr. Crepsley read. The practicing was the best part of the night. The errands weren't super bad either, except Mr. Crepsley only gave them to me one at a time, and it usually sent me pretty far into the camp to get it. Thankfully, I was relieved of duty early so that I could help set up before performance time. I went slowly on purpose so that I wouldn't have to do more tasks.
I finished just in the nick of time, and made my way back stage to wait with Mr. Crepsley. I would have been in trouble if I hadn't made it- Mr. Tall is pretty strict on schedules (you'd have to be to run a show of this caliber).
"You took your time, hm?" Mr. Crepsley called as I entered. "Trying to avoid chores, Darren?"
I shot him a weak glare and stood beside him, retrieving Madam's cage. There was a hush that fell over the other freaks in waiting as the trumpets signalling the start began to play. I peered at Madam Octa and frowned at her through the bars of her cage.
"You're making her uncomfortable with that glare." Mr. Crepsley whispered to me softly. He was almost inaudible, and his lips were right against my ear. I shuddered at the feeling of hot breath over my skin and frowned softly at him.
"I'm uncomfortable being near her." I replied, being a little more nasty than necessary towards her. Mr. Crepsley looked a little saddened by that.
"Certainly by now you can forgive her? It's been eight years." He suggested.
"I don't think so." I replied. "I can forgive you… but not her… not really."
My face moved to meet his. We were only a small gap apart from each other so lifting my head up to meet his eyes nearly made our chins touch. "Darren…" he began, as if he were about to give me a lesson. His eyes dropped down somewhere past my nose as if something was just hanging on my face.
I furrowed my brows when another hot breath was blown onto my skin, this time upon my lips. "Mr. Crepsley?" I called softly to catch his attention, "What is it?"
He straightened, the sound of quiet applause as Wolfman was escorted from the stage in his cage. "Nothing." he replied to me guardedly. I turned around to survey the back of the small side space of the stage. Normally, the other freaks would wait in the very back and only those on next would wait in the side in view of the cage. For some reason though, Evra was right behind us, probably some last minute things he needed to do, but he was staring at me with wide eyes and a pale face. His snake eyes darted between me and Mr. Crepsley and his mouth fell agape. I opened my mouth to speak to him, but Mr. Crepsley tugged on my sleeve, "We need to go, Darren.¨ I left Evra standing there in shock and joined my mentor in our performance.
"When were you going to tell me?!" Evra roared when I returned to our tent.
"Tell you what?" I inquired, blinking sternly at him for yelling at me.
"About you and Mr. Crepsley!" Evra pushed at me lightly, but I swatted his hands away. I really wasn't in the mood to play with him.
"What?" I groaned, "What is it?"
"You guys are dating, right? You were about to kiss!" He practically hollered.
I stiffened, staring at him as if he'd gone mad. "What?" I threw my arms up, "That's ridiculous!" I exclaimed, "Mr. Crepsley wouldn't- He would never- He isn't-!"
Evra's eyes were wide, "Oh my god-!" he rested his hand on his head in horror, "Mr. Crepsley has a thing for you!"
"No he doesn't!" I growled, "Evra! He isn't like that!"
"Like hell he isn't!" Evra roared, "He's putting moves on you-"
I pounced and pushed him down. He may have been a man, but I was a half vampire and a little stronger than he was, "No he's not! Don't dirty his name like this! You're getting loud!"
Evra nodded, quieting down, "Okay! Okay…" he sighed. "Fine, so he's not gay for you. But he was about to kis-"
I clamp my hand over his mouth, "No way. You're just imagining things." When he gave me his word that he was going to stop bringing him up, I released him.
"Ah, man…" He rubbed his wrists and smiled weakly to alleviate the tension, "Taken down by a pip squeak like you? This is disgraceful."
I scoffed, but I smiled at him. "Don't underestimate me then." I replied.
"I'm hitting the hay…" he told me, climbing into his make-shift bed.
"I'm staying up a bit. Wake me up in time for the little people's lunch, okay?"
"Yeah." He replied. I left the tent to go somewhere I could be alone with my thoughts. I considered what Evra told me he saw. Mr. Crepsley, making a move on me? The dusty old vampire would never… At least, I didn't think so. But the more I considered it, the more it seemed like he had tried to make a move. I couldn't deny it, not with the evidence to back up Evra's claim.
The knowledge of Mr. Crepsley's intentions weighed on me. Sitting awkwardly in the back of my mind and filling me with doubts and a strong feeling in my gut. I couldn't decide if it were anxiety, anticipation, or a mix of both. I made a vow to myself to pay closer attention to Mr. Crepsley, and to confront him if he did. I didn't know it then, but I would have a chance to see where Mr. Crepsley would take the situation if we were left alone. That would be our turning point, for better or for worse.