It was the year 1834 and Dracula had once again risen from the dead. "Oh NO?" yelped Brussels Belmont, of the Belmont clan. He had the hunter's whip, but he knew he would die immediately on entering because Psychic Psteve had told him so. So he yelled at his only friend, Scribby Chipper, to come along. Scribby brought his favorite cross, which made him laugh so much that he peed his lime green tunic. Orwahn Quotient came from Austria, Germany, Ireland, and Turkey, and spoke Aurmanankey, a mixture of all 4. He carried a massive spear. Gorilla Feem had cruel parents and a throwing axe. Memenus Krep had his lucky sword, which he shaved, ate, cut, carved, and slept with. Fred Liverstic was small and small and small, so he could only carry throwing knives. Kwain Ivansborough said, "Hello guyth. We're gonna thlay vampireth. I'm tho happy." He loaded his gun pleasantly. Latch Eppikk thought he would get thirsty so he brought along holy water just in case. They went to Dracula's castle and broke in, fell down a lot of stairs, and wound up in the catacomb. Fred Liverstic whimpered like a frightened puppy and ran away into the shadows. "Safety." he wussed. Suddenly a brain float floated down and wrapped its medulla around his head. Fred made a noise like a drunk piglet having its snout cut off. He then broke his neck in a rush of thrashing. The rest of the group had kept on walking and killed Cerberus, who was already dead. They went on to the Abyss stairway and Orwahn Quotient lumbered away and found a bone tower. He examined it and said "Her'ted." it then spewed fire out of its mouth and scorched him. Gorilla Feem wondered away from the group and into the armory. He found a were-horse and suddenly yelled "POnY!" The were-horse stood up and mashed him with its giant hammer. The group pressed on to machine tower after running courageously away from the Necromancer. They piled on to a moving platform and Kwain Ivansborough stood in front. Suddenly a medusa head dropped onto the lift. "Pretty." he said, picking it up and smooched it. He turned into stone and fell off the platform. The group moved on to Chapel Tower, where Latch Eppikk splashed holy water heroically on a flame armor, which turned and cut Scribby Chipper into pieces of burning flesh. The group moved on to the underground warehouse, where Latch Eppikk heroically splashed holy water on a forest armor, which savagely whipped him into little bits. The remainder of the group ran bravely and came to the Underground waterway, where Memenus Krep plunged into the poisoned water and melted kindly. Brussels ran and defecated and ran and released his bowels and ran. He wound up in the battle arena, where he glared at a flying lady. "Go away." he said. The Succubus flew down and drank his blood and sold him to the devil, who cooked him, ate him, and got diarrhea from him.