Author's Note: I've been remiss in thanking people who have been reviewing my stories. So allow me to thank everyone who did right now. THANK YOU! I appreciate them all—all of you—actually. :) It is nice to know that some of you have been following the stories I've posted and have even been encouraging me to follow up on one story in particular. I'm getting around to it. Forgive me, however, for being remiss in updating as soon as you might hope. Unfortunately, I'm the kind of writer who not only has moods but has specific moods that attribute to my writing process. I'll do my best to get around that particular kind of writer's "block."
Anyway, here's another one-shot that came up once I heard the song "The Fool" by Lee Ann Womack. Take a while to listen to it if you will.
"The Fool"
The drizzling rain that greets me as I step out of my building propels me to seek the comfort of caffeine. And as I tuck my coat closer and tighter around me, I inwardly muse how the weather matches my mood. For a few weeks now, actually.
Something has been amiss and even as a part of me can't quite put a finger on what it is, I know that the answer is staring me in the face. I just can't face the truth yet. I sigh and reckon that I've been doing that a lot lately. Sigh, I mean.
I catch sight of the café and I know that brief respite is near.
Until I catch sight of her.
She's obviously preoccupied, as the intense look on her face indicates. That, and the fact that a folder is set in front of her—most likely one of those case files that he tends to bring home more and more frequently.
And I realize that seeing her hurts. It hurts because it brings to mind everything I seek to bury by far, everything that I have been trying to get past.
You don't know me but I know who you are. Mind if I sit down.
She's surprised by my presence. For a brief instant, I see her trying to place a name to my face, and when a blank expression settles in, I know that she knows me.
Do I look familiar, if I don't well I should.
I'm sure you've seen me around.
I know you've probably heard my name, though we've not been introduced.
He doesn't really bring me around to his office, nor do I push. At least not during those first few months. I've been to the FBI building and I've met some of his other FBI friends. I even met his boss.
But the Jeffersonian?
For some reason, he would never deny me visiting that place, meeting the rest of the so-called "squints," and even meeting his partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan. But by the look on his face every time I mentioned dropping by the lab to meet with him or simply for no explicit reason at all, I knew that he wasn't particularly happy about it.
I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you.
I don't really know what happened between him and her. By the look on her face right now, I would assume that a part of her is fully aware and a part of her is pretty much in the same place as I. The Land of Denial.
He briefly told me before we officially got together, "We had a thing. Before. It didn't really work…but we're good together as partners so…" And that was that. He never brought it up again, and neither did I.
If you've got a minute I'll buy you a drink. I've got something to say.
It might sound crazy but last night in his sleep, I heard him call out your name.
Her mouth gapes open a bit at this and if I weren't hurting so, I might have found the gumption to chuckle. Or smile feebly. However, I'm too busy reigning in my tears from following the rest of what I've already spent last night.
This ain't the first time he's done it before, and it's hard to face the truth.
I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you.
That's right, lady. It ain't the first. I doubt it would be the last. Do you have any idea how lost he looks when he thinks no one's looking at him? That one night I was supposed to meet with him at the diner, you both didn't see me but I definitely saw how he struggled not to reach out and touch you.
I know love is a fragile thing, and I'm trying hard to make it last.
But it ain't easy holding on to my dream, when he's holding on to the past.
I've tried, Lord knows I've tried to hang on and make him happy. Some days, I think I've succeeded and then there are days when he comes home with that look on his face again and I immediately know. YOU happened. It's like one step forward and three steps back.
Just one more thing before I go, I'm not here to put you down.
You don't love him and that's a fact. Girl I've seen you around.
I'm not even sure why I'm doing this, trying to talk to you while you try to keep that expressionless look on your face. If I had the guts, I might as well just scream out loud how he doesn't deserve this. How you don't deserve him, his devotion, his loyalty, his love… Dear God he still loves you even when you flit in and out of his life with another date, another night spent with someone else. It's disturbing how I know when you have been out and about because his face looks like he's aged years since I saw him last.
But you hold his heart in the palm of your hand, and it's breaking mine in two.
'Cause I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you.
Why do I tell you this, you ask? I'm not sure. I know that I don't want you constantly flaunting it in his face when you have a date, either before or after that date. I know that I don't want you constantly teasing him with your presence. I know that I don't want you toying with his feelings by having to simply look into his eyes with that unspoken communication you two have managed to maintain in spite of his personal turmoil; and how in that moment alone, we both know he would drop everything to be there for you without even really asking.
I'm the fool in love with the fool, who's still in love with you.
I just wanted to let you know. Because like I said, it's hurting us both. Do I want you to let him go?
Yes, please.
If not for my sake, then for his.
X X X X X
I can't believe that it's been four months.
Four months since that fateful meeting in the coffee shop.
I glance out of the window of my office and note the bright and sunny day so contrary to that cold and dreary weather when I made what I can honestly say has been a major life-altering decision.
I can't say I regret it, even if another person got hurt in the process. It's what led me to here and now. Happy. Immensely so.
I love him so much and despite his hesitance in the beginning, he's finally showing me just how much he loves me back. I could honestly say I've never been this happy. Have I mentioned how deliriously happy I am that this feeling should almost be claimed illegal in some states?
Suddenly, the office seems a trifle bit suffocating and I know I need to get out even for awhile. With my light coat, purse and keys, I'm out and breathing in as much air as I could that isn't circulated within a building. There's a coffee shop around the corner and I know that I could use a cup. Someone kept me up late last night and though I'm not one to complain, a shot of caffeine sounds really good right now.
When I get my cup, I inhale the lingering scent of roasting beans as I make my way outside.
Until I catch sight of her.
I freeze momentarily as I wonder how this scene should play out. Across the street, it seems she's caught sight of me as well and we're both stuck in place, as if waiting for the other to respond.
Her eyes seem to widen a bit and I almost tilt my head at what could have—
Oh.
The glint on my hand instantly tells me that she has caught the presence of a ring that wasn't there before on my finger. At least not four months ago.
I almost feel sorry.
But I'm not. And she knows this.
She accepts it with a sad smile and she turns around to walk away.
A hand on my shoulder prompts me to whirl about suddenly, almost spilling coffee on my new blouse.
"Whoa! Easy there, Bones!"
Booth.
I let out a sigh of relief and he shoots me a worried glance.
I swear that if I believe how much he claims he loves me, half of that he spends worrying about me to death. But that's who he is and I doubt I want him to change. Much. Maybe just a little…like how he won't ever let me drive for one.
Oh who am I kidding, I'm content to let the man drive for the rest of our lives as long as he's with me.
"You okay, Bones?" He inquires with a frown already marring his handsome features.
I shoot him a smile and lace my fingers through his. This smoothes the slight wrinkle off of his forehead and I tell him, "I'm fine. Better than fine. I'm happy."
With this, he shoots me his usual grin and tugs me closer.
I briefly glance back across the street where I saw her last and I send a silent thank you to her. Looking back up at my partner, I smile up at him and recall the one thing she got wrong four months ago.
You don't love him and that's a fact. Girl I've seen you around.
I loved him then, and I love him still.
In fact, it's mainly what drove me to pull away from him.
I can't say that I'm over my fears. Part of me, I believe, would always be stuck on wondering when and if he would leave me like everyone else. I know that it was what spurred me to leave him that first time. Like she said, I hurt him; but I'm pretty sure that by how miserable I was then, the feelings were mutual. Unfortunately, my means of coping were hurting him even more so. I tried so hard to forget him, let go of how much I wanted and needed him in my life.
However, Booth has been keen on keeping me close and never letting me go. Like I said, the feeling's mutual.
He was hesitant at first to show me so much of what he felt that it hurt to know he couldn't trust me with his heart like he used to. Even if I knew that I deserved such distrust. Once he got rolling though, it was like there was no stopping him.
Not that I'm complaining.
I may have been stupid enough the first time to make the mistake of hurting him—us—if you want to be technical about it. Although I was lucky enough to be granted a chance by a woman who sought to right what was wrong, even if it meant losing the man she loved to another. I'd bet she thought I didn't deserve Booth. Well, you and me both.
Who's to say I can't try and make it up to the both of us by doing my best to never make that same mistake again?
As his arms come around me, I know that little by little, I'm learning to let go of my fears. Booth's persistent that way.
Damn. It must be foolish of me to feel so…giddy…like this. I know I've scoffed at enough people who tend to let emotions get the best of them. But damn, I can't seem to stop smiling pretty much since I got engaged to one Special Agent Seeley Booth.
I'm the fool in love with a fool who luckily, is pretty much in love with me too.
But who cares? I'm happy, he's happy. So is the whole team apparently. Call us fools if you will. I can be pretty persistent too.
Like now for instance, "I want to drive, Booth."
"Booooones…" He drags out my name like a whine.
I shoot him a look… "Well, that was easy." I smirk at him as I jiggle the keys in my hand.
Okay, so maybe persistent isn't the exact word…
FIN
Hope you guys liked this one. Let me know what you think.
By the way, my apologies to that unlucky number of readers who read the first "unsorted" post. I finally got the formatting right, I think (which plays a part into how one might understand the story). For some reason, when I set it on preview, the document's okay. But as what happened during the first (couple of tries) post, the same errors exist. So, if the same problems persist, please let me know. Just to make it clear, there's supposed to be a break in the middle to indicate passage of time/change in perspective.