America: Several months after the twin towers have fallen.
Night time was lushing in the dark sky as the big high school football game was nearing its end. Garfield High School and Garfield are down by one touchdown. All they need is one more and they win. Many important people are watching this very serious game. Everyone is rooting for the home team. Garfield's team.
Garfield huddles up with his fellow jocks of football butt buddies. "Alright everyone, One more touchdown and we'll win the big game. And we get to go home with our sexy cheerleader girlfriends. I know I got my eyes on cutie Five Cheese over there." The chad jockeys go googly eyed (literally uwu) as Garfield glances at the blushing and fertile lasagna in the stands, steaming with delightful lust at Garfield's peak of masculinity.
"No problem Garfield. Just pass the ball to me and win the whole game. YEAH!" screams out Garfield's old high school buddy, Kenny from The Bee Movie.
"No Ken, you fool. Everyone knows I am the quarterback, so that means I get the ball." Says Garfield in ballsy manner.
"Sorry Garfield, I should've known better." Ken replies in useless football player.
"So here's the plan. I throw the ball, and I catch it." Garfield says like American Strategist Tom Brady of the New England Patriots. Best known as Garfield's apprentice.
"Garfield. You know that's physically impossible right?" says one of the unimportant players in the story.
"Enough. Let me show you what is possible in the land of the free." Garfield says in Patriot act. They all combine their massive booty grabbing hands together and form an epic handshake that makes them quiver with pride.
"BRAKE!" everyone yells out as they all get into their positions. It's fourth down and they're ten yards away from the goal line of scoring a big win for their school. Everyone in the stands cheering for Garfield. Meanwhile, Garfield absorbs the pressure so cool like a sponge sucking up pasta sauce from Jon's Italian nights back home.
"Blue 42! Blue 42! Jim Davis! Jim Davis! HIKE!" Garfield says while his fellow footballers rush into their opponents, protecting their quarterback. Garfield throws the ball high into the air and with Jerry Rice like speed, he knocks away everyone who stands in his way from catching the ball. The time on the clock has run out and if Garfield doesn't catch the ball, their 99-0 winning streak will be over. Garfield eyes the ball, like a hawk, watching its babies as the football spirals down into the endzone while Garfield has his meaty paws open.
Touchdown.
The Crowd goes wild for Garfield as they win big game of football. Garfield kneels for 3 whole national anthems with his arms up and painted like World Trade Center buildings.
"This one's for you Twin Towers!" Garfield roars at the stands, expressing his love for his country.
The stands become silent from Garfield's performance. Suddenly a crippled child hobbles out between adults and starts singing. "America...America-"
The stands erupt into song as Garfield sheds a single tear he will ever make in his life, "GOD SHED YOUR GRACE ON THEE!"
Indeed God was shedding his grace that night, high above the coliseum, a lonely black man begins to clap. Kenny holds his tears with American pride. "You're the most patriotic man I've ever met Garfield!"
"I did it Ken! I won!" Garfield celebrates with solo team effort.
"Now that we won the big game, my father can finally accept me for the achievements in my life!" Kenny says to Garfield as he looks into the stands, seeing his Father: Lord Farquaad giving his son a thumbs up.
The lonely black man from above opens the door of his blimp and free falls from the sky. He crashes into the football field like a meteor wanting Garfield's autograph and shatters the dirt. The man created a small crater while he walks out of it, approaching Garfield and his teammates.
"You won the big game. I'm proud of you." It was none other than 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.
"What are you doing here, O-bomb-a?" Garfield asks Obama.
"I was watching you boys to test your skillz and so I'm drafting you two into the CIA" Obama points at Garfield and Kenny.
"CIA? But I dont pay my taxes." Garfield throws up a deuce like the libertarian badass he is because he was inspired by the infamous Ron Paul: Social Outcast.
"Well uh, you better! Or Else Mr. Cat." Obama intimidates at Garfield While Michelle Obama is behind her husband, pulling 1000 curl ups with her MASSIVE UNIT SIZED ARMS!
Kenny immediately shits his pants like soiled diaper baby with and audible squish at the sight of the woman. Garfield, however, knows this opponent would be no match for his strength but didn't feel like wasting the energy on such an emotional day.
"I'll take that as a yes." Obama assumes by smell, "pack you're things kids, your going to 'Nam" Presidentially says 44th President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama who is not related to Osama bin Laden.
"Nam? But my mother is dead sir" Kenny said with wail of orphan.
"Michelle, take them in the chopper"
"YES OBUNGA CHUNGA" Michelle says with bicep as she grips both our heroes in her steel folds and flings them in 27 exact back flips into a 1967 US Airforce regulation helicopter and it takes off, guns blazing. The Helicopter mows down everyone in the stands except for Kenny's father who had his legs shot off and had to film an important movie called Shrek.
"I LOVE YOU OBUMMER" signs Michelle with the veins in her underarms.
"Uh, Yes!" Obama said with love of which you oblige to a child with ass cancer.
Michelle lets go of Garfield and Kenny as they look at the president with not so concerned eyes.
"Gentlemen...and Michelle. I brought you here today for an important mission." Obama says with serious intent on killing someone.
"I have serious intent on killing someone. I will let my advisor brief you on your mission." Obama tells the heroes.
A man in an office chair slowly turns around facing everybody and speaks, "Your target is to kill a renegade general who is hidden in the dense jungles of Laos. He used to be one of our greatest commanding officers during the Vietnam War, until he decided to go AWOL with the rest of his men. His name is General Robert Rottington. Better known as 'Robbie Rotten.'" says the man who looks like Harrison Ford from Star Wars even though he's not Harrison Ford in this story because the author could not afford the funds to get his name for a parody. Despite it costs nothing.
"What do you mean, Steve?" Garfield asks Harrison Ford.
"What I mean, Garfield. Is that you have to somehow get behind enemy lines and assassinate this man. With extreme prejudice." explains Steve.
"Does that mean I can be racist?" asks Garfield.
"...No. We'll drop you off at the rendezvous point. There you will meet up with three other CIA Agents who will help you along your journey Garfield." Steve instructs to Garfield.
"It seems to me that the rendezvous point is right below us. Godspeed Garfield….and Kenny." Obama says as he commands Michelle Obama by using her muscles to flex Garfield and Kenny out of the helicopter. The two fall down a 500,000ft elevation drop to the ground, landing hands and feet like superheroes. Except for Kenny, who lands on his hands like sexy gymnast.
"Ah you've finally arrived." said one of the CIA agents. "My name is Stan Smith. From American Dad. Maybe you've heard of me." says Stan Smith.
"Sorry, I only watch Louder with Crowder." Garfield explains in Changing his Mind.
"Correct." Stan says. "I want you to meet the rest of the crew. This is is my first mate. Black Dynamite." Stan points to the man behind him as his own theme song plays in the background.
Dynomite! Dynomite!
"I wasn't reported we were gonna have a cat with us." Black Dynamite intimidates Garfield, which does not work at all.
"Listen here, Urban commoner." Garfield says with non-care," The only thing you gotta worry about is this orange ass getting to the target."
"Normally, Black Dynamite would punch the ever livin' shit if anyone talked to him like this. You got a lotta guts Garfield. And I respect how big your power level is. Ya Dig?" Black Dynamite tells Garfield.
"You play Yu-Gi-Oh well, Black Dynamite. You're a cool cat after all." Garfield replies as he gives Black Dynamite a powerful handshake of power.
"Coolios." Stan also replied. "And last but not least. I'd like to introduce you to… The Bronze Kneecap!"
"Greetings you fools! I am The Bronze Kneecap! And my big Bronze Kneecap will aid you in your quest!" The Bronze Kneecap shouts in the fashion of bronze kneecap.
"Lasagna Sauce. Now that we let the audience know your names, let the games begin." Garfield says with awesome laughter witty as everyone laughs while Kenny doesn't understand the joke.
"What game, Garfield?" says Ken in confusion.
"Comprehending your inferior brain, Ken. Now let's go." says Garfield. He and the rest of the crew proceed to wander into the jungle for a little while, admiring the view of its breathtaking acres of jungle spanning all around them. The birds chirping happily with sounds mixing crackling gunfire and the sensational smell of Napalm decimating the landscape.
Suddenly, a kitty soldier runs up to the crew screaming.
"Get Down!" screams the soldier, pushing everyone down to the ground as a volley of bullets whizz over their heads. Garfield stands like cool badass as the bullets pass by him and even flicks one out of the air like mosquito.
"WHERE ARE WE!?" squeals Kenny in child
"Welcome to Fucking Fuck you Fucker!" screams the soldier Nermal in his soldier uniform.
"Who said that?-" Garfield tries to get out before a Vietcong sniper bullet ruptures through Nermals head. Nermal's head splits wide open from the bullet like a water balloon through a paper shredder, and sprays all over the feet of the crew (except Garfield because he is clean kitty). "Meh, nevermind, I forgot what I was going to say." Garfield shrugged at his forgetfulness and put it on time out until it starts remembering things better.
A man walks up to the crew, stomping on top of Nermal's puny corpse with a shit ton of blood gushing out like river. "God dang it," Hank Hill wipes the thin layer of brain matter off his combat boot, "I just cleaned ma dang boots."
Garfield steps on Nermal's body. However, none of Nermal's blood and guts touches Garfield. Even his physical form forgets about Nermal's presence. "Well who in the summer lawn smell are you?" Garfield asks even though he knew who Hank Hill was by seeing his nametag.
"Howdy, My name is Colonel Hank Hill of the Arlen Strickland Battalion." He chuckles, tipping his cavalry officer's cap with the Strickland Propane logo instead of swords. "Now get on dammit." A chopper lands behind him with a choppy choppy thud. The crew wastes no time to moonwalk onto the military heli and take off over the dangerous jungle.
"So what's the sichy-waytion?" Garfield asks with the wanting for info.
The helicopter pilot responds, "GunnapickyaupyaanputyadownclosetotheChetdownintherivadereisreeeeeeeealdangeroscarefulnowa ya dang get kill man…"
The helicopter is silent as not even Garfield, understander of millions of languages, could interpret the strange dialect. "I'm glad you have decided to hire the mentally disabled, Colonel" Garfield says with appreciation of diversity.
Colonel Hank sighs can cracks open a Alamo beer with the boys, "What he says is we can only go as far as the river. There you'll have to go by boat that 70 Green Berets had to sacrifice themselves to put there for you."
"Psh Green Berets, what pussies." Garfield chortles with amusement.
"Hell, Seal Team Six couldn't touch the dang river!" Hank exaggerates.
"Even Gayer." Garfield smirks with smirking as he pulls out a cannoli and lights it with a lasagna decaled Zippo lighter. He looks over the view of the jungle, observing Colonel Hill's troops cleaning up the aftermath of a well fought battle between the Marines and Vietcong forces. Every Marine throws a pile of their bodies around a tiny village. Two fighter jets roar over the helicopter, dropping heavy canisters of Napalm everywhere until all that can be seen was smoke and orange flames erupting.
"Yep. That there's a burnin' VC I tell ya hwat." Hank says as he takes a long victory sip of his Alamo Beer, along with his pals.
"Dad?" a FNG with a blonde buzz cut leans from the co-pilot seat to address the colonel. He's kind of portly and reminds Garfield of melted mashed potatoes with mustard on top. "Is the Napalm gonna hurt the villagers down there?"
"Well you see Bobby," Hank Hill takes a knee in the helicopter next to the young FNG, "You gotta think about it like barbecue and steaks. When the enemy are steaks you want to cook it, medium rare."
"Okay, Dad," the FNG says in a nasally gravel like asphalt going through puberty.
The chopper soon lands right where the boat is as Colonel hill steps off along with Garfield & Friends.
"Head up towards Chết tiệt Lạch nhỏ and y'all be safe. I'm afraid this is where we part ways Garfield. My wife Peggy is savin' me some poontang back at HQ I tell ya hwat." Hank chuckles softly. "Welp, off I go." He says flying away from the crew.
As soon as the crew step into their boat. Millions of Vietcong guerillas attack from the trees, dirt, in the water and under their shoes. Everyone rushes into the boat as they rev up the engine and drive away while many more guerilla soldiers surround the river.
Black Dynamite gets on the dual m60 Machine Gun turret and opens fire while The Bronze Kneecap unleashes the fury of his own Machine Gun, from inside his own Kneecap. Kenny uses a rifle that overheats from the pressure of having to kill a man, making it useless. "Huh, I guess guns really don't kill people," Kenny throws the rifle into the water in annoyance. Garfield karate chops every bullet in half that comes his way with precise speed as if he was watching Jon cook his homemade spaghetti and meatballs.
They continue through the river with ease. As every bullet is fired at them, they return one back, making them dead in the process. Millions of Vietcong fall and flop into the water like fish gasping for air even though they can't breathe at all. "I CAN'T BREATHE", cries out one of the Vietcong in broken English.
"Yeah? Tell it to Ho Chi Minh you rat bastard" says Garfield pridefully Americanize as he pinches the soldier's nose and throws them into a hill, leaving a large crater afterwards.
Garfield turns around with a grin, only to see Captain Stan Smith on the floor who is shot in the arm. Everyone stops fighting, including the enemy focus their attention on Garfield's amigo.
"Oh no, my American Pride has been stained. I don't deserve to live!" Says American Dad Stan with broken dreams like orphan.
"What are we gonna do Garfield?" asks Kenny in -5 Morale. "We can't bring him back to the hospital. The ambulance can't drive on water!"
"Watch this…" Garfield flips over a cover with a button on it as he presses it, suddenly revealing a giant black wormhole with the scale to compare Garfield's appetite: always hungry. "I'm always one step ahead of everyone. Including you." Garfield says pointing at you, the reader.
Stan is sent through the wormhole into the infirmary as Garfield is the Captain by default, which everyone already knew. Stan makes his peace before he passes out like the not as funny Alien from his show American Dad and says, "Oh good, now I will make gross babies with a blonde in Rhode Island named Chriz and Mog."
"Like Family Guy?" Says The Bronze Kneecap.
Stan flips him the bird is the word but doesn't say anything as the Wormhole closes.
Everyone has a moment of mourning, along with the enemy to show respect. The Vietcong take off their helmets and take a knee with their hands up high for at least one national anthem.
"I hate America." Garfield breaks the silence with manly resistance.
The Bronze Kneecap reveals a hand from his kneecap slot, choking Garfield. "Garfield! I thought you're a stronger man than this! Don't you go to church on sundays?"
"Not this Sunday." Garfield says in manly depression for the forsaking of his only true savior and beer pong teammate Jesus Christ.
"Well man up Garfield! Stop acting like a pussy liberal and get yourself together!" The Bronze Kneecap slaps Garfield in his chiseled cheeks to remember who he is.
Garfield doesn't flinch as the grip reminds him of soft baby touch. "The only reason we are here is to get Robbie and make him Rotten. Now I suggest you take that fluffer hand off me before you become the Busted Kneecap." The Bronze Kneecap lets go of garfield as the boat continues on its journey to assassinate the general.
Two minutes later, The crew spot a medium sized rowboat containing two elderly people and their valuables. "That boat's coming awfully close." Kenny says with paranoid suspicion, "Maybe we should do an inspection."
"That is wrong and fooly hardy Kenny. We should leave those people alone." Garfield says with honor. "I have a better idea. We should inspect their boat in case they're going to kill us." Garfield justifies with original thought.
"Brilliant plan Garfield!" The Bronze Kneecap says with excitement. Their boat reaches up to the elderly couple as they both share a moment of epic stare down. "Excuse us but, this is an inspection check. So let us into your boat...or else!" The Bronze Kneecap intimidates as he points at his knee, "Don't make me use this!"
"Bleh Bleh Bleh, They're not gettin' on me boat." The elderly man resists.
"Eustace, please let the nice American GIs inspect our boat," the old lady with curly white hair shrieks in calm reassurance.
"Listen up crackers," Black Dynamite says with command of second person in charge,"Let us check yo boat for suspicion 'n' shit and we can be on our way. Ya dig?"
"Nope." the bald elderly man crosses his arms in stubborn.
"Last chance, bald man," Garfield threatens like beast ready to be set loose through his lazy demeanor.
Black Dynamite inspects the boat anyways.
"That's it, I'm gettin' me mallet!" The old man says as he goes through his own belongings, pulling out a log-sized wide mallet.
"Holy cheese and crackers he's got a weapon!" Kenny shrieks.
Everyone releases a volley of bullets into the couple without hesitation. Shredding the old couple to kibbles and bits as they plead with their lives but in vain towards the ear splitting sound of automatic weapons. Meanwhile, Black Dynamite was able to swiftly inspect around the bullets in milliseconds thanks to his kung-fu. "While y'all gung-ho shootin' asses were busy, I found this dog which we can keep. He's a little stupid but that's all what Black Dynamite could find."
Garfield inspects the dog while standing still. "Smells like Odie," Garfield smells like bloodhound but better, "must be trash, drown it in the river."
"No Garfield!" says Odie whose voice is quite articulate for a mute dog only Garfield can hear. "Don't drown me Garfield, just take me back home, with Jon! Please Garfield, I'm to weak and emasculated to go with you on this journey!"
"Flattery will get you nowhere, mutt" Garfield says with one percent amusement.
"Jesus Christ Garfield, just take me home! Someone please!" Odie pleads like crying liberal on Bush re-election day.
"I'll take him home." Says Black Dynamite. "Only to stay away from you crazy crackers."
"Your futile attempt to return a worthless mutt will be remembered by your actions today, Black Dynamite. I have some respect for you." Garfield nods with smooth respect.
"Sure Garfield, just don't let the White Man get on my ass alright?" Black Dynamite Black Dynamites
The only response Garfield gives to relate to his brother Black Dynamite was looking down with a muscled fist in the air. "I understand, Brother."
Black Dynamite awkwardly returns the gesture as he looks around to see where he could leave.
"Just too bad you'll have to swim there…", Garfield says with annoyance.
"Black Dynamite doesn't swim."
"Then let me give you a boost," Garfield says as he kneels down like chivalrous knight with his hands positioned together. Black Dynamite leaps off the boat, soaring 7,000ft in the air while Garfield performs 14 million cartwheels by the second to charge his throwing power, forming Black Dynamite into a perfectly sphered ball and throwing him across the the other side of the globe.
"Kobe." Garfield basketballs a lay-up.
The Crew finally approach Robbie's castle which was around the corner. The only reason they were able to know cause were billboards surrounding his castle reading:
Welcome to Robbie's Super Villain Emporium of Secret Castles. We would like to not be obvious with our hideouts so please don't tell anybody or else you're banned.
The boat enters into the hideout and parks ashore as everyone steps off. They walk down the beach for ten minutes as nothing happens. The Bronze Kneecap suddenly transmorphs like the book series Animorphs into a giant plasma screen TV with surround sound and bass boosted speakers. Blood and visceral meat spurt and tear from their joints as his guttural and violent dying screams are muffled out as the screen flashes white, revealing President Obama giving a rain check on Garfield. "Garfield, I hope your mission to take care of Robbie Rotten is going well and you didn't lose anyone on the way." Obama says in TV as he sees only Garfield and Ken covered in a thick layer of bile, blood and bits of entrails except for Garfield. "...Oh. Well, good luck on your wacky adventures!" he tells them in asshole like manner as the TV turns off with dozens of Robbie's tribal goons dressed as aboriginals surrounding the last crewman and Garfield.
"Oh Great! Now we're doomed Garfield! DOOMED!" Kenny yells in frustration.
"Calm down you thick slab of horse meat," Garfield said with peak suggestion, "What you need to do is get angry."
"Uhhhh….what?" Kenny said in dumbass reader who is reading this and not knowing what's going to happen yet. Geez get an imagination. I can't always write this stuff you know? What are you guys expecting of me? Another Last Lasagna sequel? I'm just a grown cis white male man! (not to be confused as a mailman!)
Garfield and Kenny are soon unconscious by two blows to the back of the head. Except for Garfield obviously, who was pretending to be knocked out like oscar winning actor Jaden Smith just so he could get closer to Robbie Rotten's castle.
Kenny wakes up from his short slumber and sees the civilized goons dressed like Robbie Rotten who seemed to be payed to do this job, are poking their sharp spears into Kenny's body. Garfield on the other hand is disinterested in the tribesmen as his fit teenage body bends their weapons like chiseled butter melting on hot greasy pan. Garfield sits down into a meditative position like great himalayan Daili Llama and concentrates. "Kenny you must search deep within yourself and take off your shoes."
"What? Ow. Whats my- ow! My boots gotta do-OW! DO WITH ANYTHING?!" Kenny growling more rage filled from the constant poking.
"That's right, use your rage and your boots, fill your senses with lasanga of the mind and layer victory with strategy….with your boots." Garfield's third eye expands the rock of a skull Kenny has to reveal his one true purpose.
Kenny inserts his hands into each of his boots. He feels his hands entwining with the material like sexual pleasure orgasmic Garfield gives to sexy highschool cheerleaders, teachers, and sometimes janitors if they ask nicely, back home. His shoes were meant to be worn this way. His eyes glow bright red with flames of rage and passion pump through his veins like busses going in and out of a tunnel. He casually removes his ropes off his body and stares into one of the tribesmen.
"You know what these are." Kenny asks the man across whose literally shitting his pants.
"N-no…" quivers the helpless man, soon understanding what his fate is.
"These….are…my WINTER BOOTS!" roars the fearsome Kenny, slamming his boot though the man's face like a punch and mauling the rest of the others in gorey, treaded fashion.
"This one's for The Bronze Kneecap!" Kenny yells ripping a man's spine out from Mortal Kombat.
"This one's for everyone at home!" He says crushing another man's head between his boots.
"And most of all…"
"THIS IS FOR YOU TWIN TOWERS! AGHHHHHHHH!" Kenny rips and tears exactly 2,996 people to death in honor of those who died from that horrendous attack. "I LOVE YOU NEW YORK!" He screams from the top of his lungs as he and Garfield make their way to the top of the castle, leaving rows of bodies behind them. Kenny busts down a large reinforced door with a massive swing of his boots. He breathes heavy, his eyes filled with rage as he looks anywhere for Robbie Rotten in the main bunker of the facility. He hears a small noise and rushes out before slipping on a banana peel and knocking himself out.
Garfield strolls in the newly opened room and finds Kenny splayed on the floor like wanting, lustful woman. He shakes his head and pops two rippling biceps and passes by Kenny, "That'll do, Boot Hands, that'll do." Garfield says with slight respect for his best high school friend, Kenny. Garfield uses his keen nightvision eyesights to spot a bald headed man silhouetted against the fire.
"Well, well, well...it seems you found my secret hiding spot Mr. Garfield. I'm sure it was all too easy for you wasn't it?" said the mysterious man
"Well yeah. I'm Garfield." Garfield says in overwhelming confidence that inspires wind behind him. "And I'm here to take care of some business with you, scrotum face."
"Who do you think I am? Thanos?"
"You're about to look like him, infidel." Says Garfield in cracked knuckles. He reaches into his jacket something comforting and lethal to Robbie Rotten.
"I don't think you understand why I'm even here in the first place, don't you Garfield? I have ascended beyond this silly war. Past the Vietcong, the United States, even...dare I say it...I have even grown past the 9/11 World Trade center attacks on September 11th, 2001."
"You're a goddamn madman, Robbie."
"Am I damned, my orange friend? Who is the real damned one?! Is it the moment when we first breathe that God has damned us to an eternity of hell upon this world just to forsake us when we die? I don't know. I question myself these things every single day of my existence of this shallow world. Nothing has been able to make me cope with the thought that we are all being pulled by the strings here. Garfield, you were drafted to find me. Forced to leave all that you know and love and for what? Some retard with boots on his hands and a God who doesn't even care? Is this truly what you wanted out of life, Garfield? You're young. Full of potential and all others do is exploit your gifts for their own personal gain. That is your destiny Garfield. A tool. Forever manipulated for the vices of others. Is this how you want to live your life? Experiencing the horrors of the machines controlling your existence? The Combine? What are you going to do when you have everything that you love taken away from you? Only The Combine can decide your fate. The Horror Garfield. The Horror."
Garfield slowly pulls out his lasagna zippo lighter and a cannoli cigarette in his veiny paws and lights one up to smoke. "I just wanted to leave you a message by The Government."
"What on Earth could that pointless government ever say to influence me?"
Garfield takes a long drag on his ciggy and flicks it to the ground and says this one line:
"Stop being mean."
Robbie Rotten contemplates on Garfield's powerful words.
"You know what Garfield...I think you're right. I should stop being mean."
"Yeah, and maybe gets some cancer while you're at it." Garfield advises Robbie Rotten in his childish humor like big papa to little baby.
"You're right garfield! I should! Thank you for converting my ways and making me a better person in life! God Bless America and fuck Osama Bin Laden!" says the converted patriot Robbie Rotten.
"Anytime, Cowboy." Says Garfield with cool 2001 sunglasses that were popular at the time.
Robbie Rotten shakes Garfield's beautifully masculine hand with respect and guidance as he heads out of the castle and disappears into the depths of the Vietnamese Jungle.
Kenny wakes up from his knockout nappy nap and rubs his head with boot heel, "What in Frenchie Flounders Pounders just happened?"
Garfield turns to Kenny with the early morning sun rising behind his marvel of a face and says, "History."
Kenny releases tears of joy, realizing that they have done something the U.S. Government couldn't, finish the Vietnam War. "Thank you for helping me unleash my powers. Now, you ready to finish High School Garfield?"
"Actually that game was the last day of our Senior year, Kenny. We've graduated."
"Oh...Well I guess I'll see you in college, friend. I definitely owe you one in the future. Please mention it as often as possible."
"I've got other plans, Kenny."
"Well JEEZ LOUISE, GARFIELD! What type of plans do you got then?!" Said Kenny in almost angry because he knows what company he's around.
"I'm not sure, Kenny, but for some reason. I'm hungry for a little bit...more." Garfield says in curious wonderment as he looks up at the fading starry sky.
"Also, you won't graduate with our class Kenny."
"OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!"
*Audience canned laughter*
*CCR Fortunate Son Plays*
THE END
Artwork by NoahTheCartoonist