(A/N: Ack! This is what happens when I get writers' block… T-T
Lol, half of this was because I was frustrated by a scene in a different fic(Untold) and the other half is…
Well, lots of people place Hinata as an 'author' but… not a lot seem to attack some of her feelings as a writer. She simple 'writes', it doesn't affect the plot at all. As someone who really enjoys writing I can't help but feel that it would definitely affect her life, even outside of the fun fantasy world that one creates when writing… okay, I'm ending tangent. X3
Anywho, I hope ya'll enjoy!!
Oh, and FYI, I wrote the song. Random and crappy I know but I wanted to put some music in there and I didn't want to look up some music… so I wrote whatever came to mind. I'm thinking the songs title should be the same as the fics.)
Ridiculous Inspiration
Musing on Writing
"I did it to protect you!"
I slapped him sharply for that remark.
"Protect me? You thought this would protect me?!"
I stopped screaming for a moment, only long enough to collect a dark glare, "From what?"
I knew what he'd say; he'd begin a response revolving around the danger of her life-style…
…the danger of my life-style.
Breathing deeply I managed to continue, "Have you forgotten who I am?"
I sent a punch to his stomach that left him stumbling back, "You easily manipulated twit! What? They say 'oh, do as we say or else she dies?' or… let me guess, you actually believed that they would leave me alone?!"
He glared back and attempted to regain his composure, he opened his mouth to speak, his naturally calm nature taking over to attempt to solve things with soft spoken words.
"Fuck you! You really are a bastard, you know?" I kicked his chins and began to run away, anything to escape what was going on.
I found myself held back by a nearly harsh grip on my wrist, "I did it to protect you, you have no ide—"
I hit him again, "Have you forgotten who I am?!" moron, idiot…
Doesn't he get it?
"What's the worst they could do to me? Hmm? Kill me? Torment me? Rape me? You think I care?!"
He underestimated me.
"I do!" his proclamation meant little to me; I knew what he would say next…
…so to stop the speech that would likely cause me to retch, I kicked him where the sun doesn't shine.
With wide eyes he crumpled to the ground, clutching the source of his discomfort. I didn't stay to watch or hear any more antics; once you kick someone there you really have to be ready to run for your freakin' life.
I sighed deeply when—
She tapped the key-board impatiently, sighing in exasperation she faced the fact that she really didn't want to.
She really couldn't write vicious fight scene right now.
That's all she wanted to write, pour out her frustrations with her writing but she was tired…
Hinata turned off the radio, mild annoyance showing on her face, music that would normally set her blood broiling with inspiration and, more importantly, a fantastically violent and passionate fight, wasn't doing anything to assist the writers' block currently gnawing at her senses.
Sure, she could write a fight scene… but it lacked the passion, the expressive nature that she would normally pour into every word.
Why? Why couldn't she assault the page with her normal amount of complete animosity?
She gazed blandly at the scene she'd managed and nearly retched in distaste at the complete and utter inconsistent babble.
She wasn't controlling the story, she as letting it run away!
Biting her bottom lip out of nervous habit she rolled her eyes to the roof and wished that something would assault her muse violently. It was far from her simply lacking inspiration, she had ideas, inspiration, plots…
…but whenever she tried writing anything out it came out bland!
If there was one thing she never wanted her writing to degrade to, it was bland.
She loved writing and would do near anything to keep it interesting, riveting, she expanded her vocabulary constantly simply to be able to express her ideas with more variety, she took several courses in writing despite her business major, just to make sure her grammar never got rusty.
Heck, she even avoided relationships to keep her writing stable and consistent.
She didn't avoid love though.
She would fall in love to regain her spark; there was something about having a crush that simply put such a authentic touch to whenever she wrote romance that she couldn't resist manipulating it.
It always ended in heart-break and she knew she set herself up for it. Mostly because she never said anything, occasionally she would never have even talked to the crush. But she still did it purposely, it kept the love undiluted.
…thereby completely fanciful and innocent.
It was her selling point, even if she herself found it more or less tacky and pathetic at times.
Her true love came with writing action and horror though; romance was really a passing obsession to her. Comedy was interesting to explore but she found she never really had the best sense of humor. She lacked the imagination for sci-fi and supernatural so she hardly touched them.
But she did touch them.
She dabbled with any genre she could find, occasionally simply curious as to whether she could do it. If it was above her and she was incapable of something.
That was when she would practice it.
It was exactly why she had put so much thought into romance, when she began she couldn't write it if she tried, several reasons keeping her from her goal…
Her lack of interest in the subject.
Her shy nature, which caused her to recoil at even the slightest bit of attraction and interaction(I.E. she even had problems with hand-holding).
And finally, the lack of reading she had done on it.
She read before she ever wrote, envious of the styles and phrasing and all the stories that she simply wanted to express…
Her first story was a bust, no grammar; no spelling… she didn't even use quotation marks. She never was one to get something on the first try, she was a firm believer that the twenty-seventh time was the charm.
She wasn't famous, people bought her books but they were far from 'best-sellers' and to quite honest, she didn't care.
Her life was writing.
An entire half of it all was simply that she was given the ability to write, she loved it. To sit and endless type in front of a computer screen on even the most passing ideas while enjoying her own story. The exhilaration of scribbling text down on a napkin due to sudden inspiration…
Although, the major draw-backs included the writers' block currently crushing her mind, sending a migraine that would inevitably cause her to put down the keyboard she held in search of aspirin.
The story she was working on was likely the problem, normally she wrote about girls as shy as herself, or brave male main characters for her stories…
Working with a exuberant female was something new for her. The best way she could think to give the character life was to get in her head…
…but she would never do half the things the female lead would do over the course of the story.
Another idea of hers was to detach herself from the character, look on as a third party on the confident girl.
…to put it shortly, the story didn't translate well from first-person to third.
There was no romance in the story, it was purely action and a hint of horror(her favorite genre) with of course the necessary drama that all stories need to keep going.
Her main character, a mysterious and violent girl named Tayuya, was running from the organization known as the 'Akatsuki' because of her dealings with one of it ex-members, Orochimaru. As first she continues to work for the suspicious male but as time goes on she realizes he is going to double-cross her. Escaping she find herself running from the Akatsuki, her old organization 'Otougure' and… her past. A gory one that consists of the violent deaths of a large group of people, the problem is she doesn't know who the people are.
She was considering something similar for the back cover, but she wasn't sure yet, it would probably give too much information… and not enough, it made it sound like your average oo7 shoot 'em up. The twists and turns of the plot bring it far from that genre.
'…not that anyone's going to even buy it if I can't get past this cursed writers' block…'
Sometimes she wished dearly that something to put interest in her stories would simply fall from the sky…
Something harsh and loud hit her roof and she was forced to rip her eyes to it, her eye twitched at what she saw.
The ceiling was crumpling.
Before she had a chance to register anything else it broke though and something heavy landed on top of her.
…she really needed to be careful what she wished for.
(Ending Notes: For those who didn't read the beginning notes, I wrote the song… for kicks… and stuff… I kinda like it… but I dislike some of the verses… but I've already got a basic melody for it! X3
EDIT: I took out most of the song because FF wasn't letting bunch some of the text together... which really tore away the affect, and the entire point, of the song.
Muse-chan musing on muses.)