A/N: My second Kuroshitsutji fanfic. For some reason I can't get enough of this pairing, oh the addiction. Sorry for possible many grammar errors, English isn't my first language. And the characters are OOC. Please read, and if you like it leave a review too.

Oh, before I forget. I don't own Kuroshitsuji, if I did Sebastian and Ciel would be together and I would turn the manga into the paradise for fangirls.

"Sebastian…what do you think about this?"

"What do I think about what?"

"About everything that happened. About living eternity like this…living eternity with me."

"Living eternity like this…it's a curse. A curse that I have no way out."

I close my eyes, remembering the talk I had with the young master last night, and I feel regret taking over me one more time. It's been like this ever since that happened, ever since young master has become a demon. Every time we talked about what happened I would end up being too harsh on him, saying things that I would regret saying as soon as the words left my mouth, empty words that I didn't mean. But I couldn't stop myself from saying them.

I'm confused and frustrated. Things went completely different from what I've planned, and I don't know how to deal with the whole situation. The young master becoming a demon, me being bounded to him for all eternity, my hunger rising day after day. But all of this was far from being my biggest problem. Somehow I've developed feelings for the young master, feelings that I don't know what they are. I've never felt anything like this before; I don't know how to deal with this. How would I anyway? As far as I remember, I've never felt any human emotions before. At least not this kind of emotion.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what would be his reaction if I told him about this. Not that I would ever tell him, my pride would never let me admit out loud that I'm attached to him. This would turn me in the latest joke in all hell, and I know very well that these feelings would never be replied, so I've decided to keep them to myself. It's for the best, after all, demons aren't supposed to love.

I open my eyes as I start walking to young master's room, trying to take these thoughts out of my head, but failing miserably. As I stop in front of the door, I start to remember everything that happened yesterday once again. He wasn't at his normal self; I could tell that something was troubling him. All of sudden he started to ask questions, questions that I didn't wanted to answer. But I did. And before I knew it there I was again, saying things I didn't meant to say. His expression remained cold as always, but when I looked in his eyes I could swear I have seen a spark of sadness in them. I could swear that when I closed the door behind me, I could hear a silent sob coming from the other room. And I immediately regretted everything I had said. I wanted to apologize to him, but I didn't found the courage to face him again. Who would have thought that I was such a coward?

But if I didn't do it yesterday, I'll do it now. This time I will apologize to him. I have to, if I want to have some peace of mind.

"Excuse me, young master…" I say, as I open the door. It's past time for him to wake up.

I look inside the room, but for my surprise he isn't at his bed. Actually, he is nowhere to be seen. I look at my side and only then I notice that the window is half open. At first I thought that he had been kidnapped again, but soon I've dismissed these thoughts. He's not human anymore; I doubt that he would allow himself to be kidnapped so easily. Taking a look into his room I notice that there's a piece of paper in his bed. I take it in my hands and open it. I'm surprised to see what it is. It's a letter, a letter addressed to me. I know that it was him who had written it, I recognize this handwriting too well. But why would he write a letter to me? I sit at the side of the bed, as I start to read it.

Sebastian

I think the time has come, the time to say goodbye to you. I've never wanted this moment to come, I wish I could be by your side forever, but after what you've said yesterday, I realized that this would never be possible, and you would never want the same. And I do not want to force you to stay with me against your will. So I've decided to leave.

I know you must be frustrated, me becoming a demon, you being bounded to spend eternity with someone like me, a brat, someone that only caused you trouble. But I was happy that thing turned out like this, I would be able to spend eternity with you. But your disgusted glances, your harsh words, everything took this happiness away from me. And I've realized that for you I'm really nothing more than a burden, a curse, as you said. But its fine, I understand, you are a demon, you were only my butler because of my soul, it was foolish of me to expect that I would ever be more than this to you. It was foolish of me to think that you really cared and worried for me when it was so obvious you didn't. But I do not blame you, it's my entire fault that I'm feeling like this, I was the one that was foolish enough to fall in love with you.

But enough of this, I won't bother you anymore. I've decided to give you one last thing before I'm gone, the thing you wanted most, freedom. You don't have to serve me anymore, you are free. I hope this makes you happy, this is the last and only thing I could do for you. It's my thank you for serving me all this time.

I'll miss you, the old you. The one that cared for me, that would protect me whenever I was in danger, that would comfort me whenever I had nightmares. I'll miss your smiles, your voice, the sweets you usually would make, your patience with me, even your jokes and teases. Even if it was all a lie, I'll miss it. I'll take these memories with me forever, I'll never forget you. And I'll always love you.

Goodbye.

-Ciel Phantomhive

I keep looking at the letter, too surprised to do anything else. I can't believe in the things I've just read. How could this be? I read the letter all over again, to make sure that my mind isn't playing tricks on me. And that wasn't the case; it was all there, written word by word. And soon my mind that was in blanc started to be filled with questions, questions I couldn't find the answers to. Specifically one question was plaguing my mind. He loves me? I could never, ever imagine that he would harbor these kinds of feelings for me. I couldn't find any reason for him to do so. I'm a demon, someone that was serving him only to get his soul at the end, only because of the contract we have made. At least that was what I've wanted him to believe. But deep inside I knew that nothing was because of the contract.

"The contract…."

I take out my glove, only to see that the symbol of our contract was gone. He really was serious when he said that he would set me free. I'm really free now, I should be happy with this, I've always thought that this was what I've wanted. I thought that I would have at least a little of peace if I was away from him, that I would be able to forget these feelings I have for him. But now, after all this, now that he's gone, now that I know how he really feels about me, I realize that this would never happen. In the place of the happiness that I should be feeling there was other feelings suffocating me. Sadness, regret, worry, longing. Then I start to think in the things I've been saying to him, in the way I've been treating him, and I feel regret taking over me once again.

He was wrong, I've never lied, I've never did all those things for obligation, or because I wanted his soul. I did everything I did because, even if I didn't want to admit, I cared for him, because I've always worried about his well being. Because I've loved him, even if I would never show that I did, even if I was too prideful to admit it out loud, and too sure that these feelings would never be replied. Now I know that they would, and I'm filled with regret. I only I knew… maybe things might have gone different, and nothing of this would have happened. How could I have been so wrong?

I'm still confused, but I'm sure of something, I don't want things to end like this. I can't stand not even thinking that everything will end like this and that I'll never be able to see him again, that I'll never be able to fix this situation, to apologize to him for the things I've done. That I'll never be able to show to him how I truly feel about him.

I have to find him.

I've started to look for him everywhere, starting by the surroundings. The ink in the letter was still fresh, he couldn't be too far away, still I couldn't feel his presence anywhere. I've asked everyone in the mansion if they had seen young master somewhere, if they had any idea of where he might be, but they also had no clue to where he was. I ended up making them worried, and this surely wouldn't make the situation any better. They have offered their help to find him, but I couldn't accept it. It was I who had to do this; it was I that had to find him. After all, it's my fault that all of this is happening.

I leave the mansion to look for him. I would look everywhere, all the world if I had to. I have to find him, there's too much things we have to talk about. Too many things that I have to say to him. .

Young master…I do not know where you have gone to, but I'll find you, and when I do, I'll never let you go again.