okay so this is my first fanfic. my freind and i came up with these really random situations in school one day so i decided to make a fanfic about them. YAY! hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: i don't own final fantasy or any of its characters-they belongs to square enix.

(Tifa's POV)

Okay. So lately, things around the bar have been….strange. To say the least. Well, I guess I should explain. So it all started like, last week. Since Cloud saved the world twice I guess he doesn't have all that much to do anymore to keep up his buff biceps… and toned triceps… and his hot buns and thig-okay nevermind that! Anyway. So he turned part of the basement of seventh heaven into a sort-of workout room.

Around that time, last Friday to be exact, Yuffie came to visit. But at around three she mysteriously went missing so, obviously, I started searching for her, but I knew she couldn't be up to any good…..

Flashback

Where the hell is she???? Maybe in Denzel and Marlene's room. Or in the bathroom? On the roof. No. in the baseme-oh SHIT! She's gonna drink all the grape Smirnoff again!!!!

As I cautiously approached the door to the cellar, I heard a strange noise. But it wasn't the glug glug sound of Yuffie downing multiple bottles of rancid, artificially flavored alcohol I was expecting. It was…. Panting?

Odd….

"Yes, Yuffie. Just like that. Right there."

"But Cloud, it hurts! Ya fuckin' bastard!"

…OH…MY…GOD.

"Too bad."

"Holy fuck, man! I can't be thrusting this thing up and down for much longer!"

"You're the one who wanted to do this. Now keep going."

"I didn't think you meant this is what you told me we were gonna do!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh just shut up and finish the job."

Am I hearing what I think I'm hearing? No wait I can't hear anymore. I think I've gone deaf. I never thought Cloud was so…….demanding.

Wait, why am I being so cool about this!?!?!?!?!? I should go down there and spin kick BOTH of their heads off!!!!!!!!

So… I burst through the heavy wooden door , ran down the stairs as quick as a mongoose(I've never seen one in action but I've heard they're pretty fast), and before my eyes was a scene not nearly as raunchy as the one I had imagined.

Yuffie was lifting bench pressing forty pounds on Cloud's weight bench. How odd.

"Tifa?"

"…..Yeah, um… sorry I thought I left some of the…uh…grape Smirnoff down here. But I guess not. So, um, carry on."

"But the Smirnoff is right here!"

But I was already up the stairs.

As I closed the door I heard that certain masculine, now fading voice, "Wait, you didn't drink it all?"

BAM!

"Ow!!! Yuffie! That was a twenty pound weight!"

"Serves you right you chocobo ass."

End flashback.

That was just one of the many instances this past week that made me think it would be a good idea to have Cloud run my skull over with fenrir just so I can slip into an 'accidentally' induced coma and forget I ever saw and or heard that.

But I don't think Cloud would agree to that. But I do have a psycho klepto-maniac ninja I could use as a back up plan. So its all good.

Oh and this past Tuesday I thought Marlene was trying to saw Denzel in half with a cucumber! But that's another story.

But this morning, surprisingly, nothing extremely outlandish happened so I'm kind of hoping it'll stay that way for the rest of the day. I hope. But strange things do seem to happen behind the closed doors of Seventh Heaven.

A/N: so i hoped you guys liked the chapter! please please please PLEASE press that little green button at the bottom of the page!