Hello my name is Jeana. I am 31 and ever a child inside. This is a story about my life right now. This is true and I can't explain why I had such a need to write this.
As I sit here and type this I realize something inside feels like it's missing. There are things blocked from my memories I can't explain. When did this start happening? So much sorrow and pain in my mind. It feels as though The Doctor is involved somehow.
Yesterday, it seems like ages ago. My memories refuse to return. Here I am in my house in California but I am thinking about being in space surrounded by stars, planets, beings I don't remember. Sometimes there seems to be someone or something watching me. In the corner of my eye there's movement. I know what I would normally think. It doesn't feel like an ominous being though. It could be them but why would they bother with me. Sure I'm weird and possibly know too much but I would've found a way to let myself know.
Maybe this is me slipping into madness. That doesn't sound too bad. I know I won't hurt anyone. I'm still sane enough to realize I have a family that I love who loves me back. I believe though, in a possibility, that we live in a parallel place from where I started. I used to think I didn't belong here but it's close enough to my original universe that I go unnoticed for the most part. I don't know if anyone else feels like this but the world seems big enough for that to happen.
Once when I was little I remember seeing what I thought was a ghost. The weird thing is I could only see the back of it and it was on fire. The fire was blue and it looked like the back of a man. Strange note something fell in the kitchen without anyone near it just now. The hair on the back of my neck is trying to stand up but it's too long. Wonder who knocked it over. I am not alone, I guess it's still here. Back to my story the ghost thing happened and it was at night in the kitchen. Why is it always the kitchen? Thankfully it isn't the bathroom or I might never go in there again. I tried to tell my parents but they didn't listen, they usually don't. Through the years I had different things that I can't explain happen around me. Not too many people in my life understood me at all.
I had started watchin Doctor Who after I had gotten cancer in 2011. It is amazing and I love the show. I am eccentric and shy and you don't care about me and that's ok. I just wanted to tell someone before something bad consumes me. I don't believe death is an end but it is something that changes us. Consciousness is a form of energy and energy cannot die. I have felt that sometimes I can see through The Doctors eyes. I remember things as though it was I who was lonely and traveling with a pink and yello human or flying through the vortex with The Tardis, seeing all of space and time in the untempered schism. I know that sounds crazy. I feel like I am missing a heart. This feeling doesn't go away. I don't think I am The Doctor but maybe he was imprinted on my soul for a purpose. I will find out someday, I think.