Authors: Tilco Cat & DessyX
Rating: G
Category: Silly humour
Notes: We wrote this after I shared with Des one of my experience with a particular nasty Q/O. It's suppose to be Star Wars but my friend is an unstoppable X-men fanatic, and I was an obsessed Harry Potter fan.
When I see him approaching me at night
1. pick up the nail clippers (says a voice in my head 'nail clippers, use the nail clippers'. I decided to call it George)
2. hold it in front of me to protect myself from this horrible monster - the man who I thought was my father
3. yell, "stand back! You monster! I HAVE THE NAIL CLIPPERS AND I'M NOT AFRAIND TO USE THEM!"
4. if he Force pushes it out of my hand, and it hit the back wall, and says: "Muhahahaha! Have you not forgotten that I wield the power of the Force, you silly little girl?" I looked around frantically for something else to defend myself with, the little voice called George came back, "use the slippers."
5. "Help me slippers!" I screamed out loud. "You are my only hope!"
6. I pick up a bunny shaped slipper and threw it at him. as the bunny struck Qui-Gon full in the chest, the whole world around me start to swirl, shifting in and out of my dimension. I looked at the other rabbit slipper and realised that it was actually a plot bunny, oh no, the plot's gonna change! Qui-Gon disappeared along with my bedroom.
7. Instead, I now stand in a strange grey room which seems to go on endlessly.
8. I turned around "AAAAaaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhh!" screamed a wolf man, his sharp claws descending on me. "Aarrghhh!" I screamed back
9. "Augh" he screamed again trying to pull back.
10. 'aughh!" I scream again
11. "Ooofph" a girl ran through the man and into me.
12. "Augh" I screamed again.
13. "Sugahh! Yah can stop screaming now"
14. "Aurgh" there was a girl flying above me.
15. "Little girlfriend, you can stop. It's like, getting a bit loud!"
16. "iz she all ri'ht, she duddnt look to good, Rouge"
17. "Stop writing mah name like that, will yah fan-fic authors evah get it right?"
18. So many of them they keep appearing, multiplying like rabbits. Rabbits, that gives me an idea. I touch the closest one, oh nice biceps, no matter, I would soon be out of here.
19. The world around me swirled then vanished. This time I found my self in a classroom full of teenagers watching the hag from Disney's version of Snow White.
20. "Now children" she croaked, "just place your wands like that, yes and say the magic words and you should all make poisoned apples."
21. In unison the teens placed their wands over little black top hats, "PLEASE AND THANKYOU" they shouted. Suddenly millions of little white bunnies popped out of the top hats. The sea of bunnies charged at me, I grabbed at one and was flung into...
22. I gasp loudly as I wake up in my bed. It is morning and I can smell breakfast from the kitchen. After such a long journey my stomach is not happy.
23. I went out into the common room and I found Qui-Gon in the kitchen cooking. "Morning sunshine. I've cooked your favourite today." I don't know where I am but I like it. "Bacon and fish?" I asked hopefully. "Of course dear, I can still remember how much you loved it when you were only six. A little rascal running around the rooms, all excited about been selected as a Padawan." I listened to Qui-Gon talk about the time when we first became Master and Apprentice in a loving, fatherly voice. From that moment, I know this is the Master Qui-Gon I've always wanted him to be.
24. "I love you Master."
25. "I love you too, my dear daughter." He said with a wink, ruffling my already messy hair.
The End
I'm much happier now..
Rating: G
Category: Silly humour
Notes: We wrote this after I shared with Des one of my experience with a particular nasty Q/O. It's suppose to be Star Wars but my friend is an unstoppable X-men fanatic, and I was an obsessed Harry Potter fan.
When I see him approaching me at night
1. pick up the nail clippers (says a voice in my head 'nail clippers, use the nail clippers'. I decided to call it George)
2. hold it in front of me to protect myself from this horrible monster - the man who I thought was my father
3. yell, "stand back! You monster! I HAVE THE NAIL CLIPPERS AND I'M NOT AFRAIND TO USE THEM!"
4. if he Force pushes it out of my hand, and it hit the back wall, and says: "Muhahahaha! Have you not forgotten that I wield the power of the Force, you silly little girl?" I looked around frantically for something else to defend myself with, the little voice called George came back, "use the slippers."
5. "Help me slippers!" I screamed out loud. "You are my only hope!"
6. I pick up a bunny shaped slipper and threw it at him. as the bunny struck Qui-Gon full in the chest, the whole world around me start to swirl, shifting in and out of my dimension. I looked at the other rabbit slipper and realised that it was actually a plot bunny, oh no, the plot's gonna change! Qui-Gon disappeared along with my bedroom.
7. Instead, I now stand in a strange grey room which seems to go on endlessly.
8. I turned around "AAAAaaaaaarrrrgggggghhhhh!" screamed a wolf man, his sharp claws descending on me. "Aarrghhh!" I screamed back
9. "Augh" he screamed again trying to pull back.
10. 'aughh!" I scream again
11. "Ooofph" a girl ran through the man and into me.
12. "Augh" I screamed again.
13. "Sugahh! Yah can stop screaming now"
14. "Aurgh" there was a girl flying above me.
15. "Little girlfriend, you can stop. It's like, getting a bit loud!"
16. "iz she all ri'ht, she duddnt look to good, Rouge"
17. "Stop writing mah name like that, will yah fan-fic authors evah get it right?"
18. So many of them they keep appearing, multiplying like rabbits. Rabbits, that gives me an idea. I touch the closest one, oh nice biceps, no matter, I would soon be out of here.
19. The world around me swirled then vanished. This time I found my self in a classroom full of teenagers watching the hag from Disney's version of Snow White.
20. "Now children" she croaked, "just place your wands like that, yes and say the magic words and you should all make poisoned apples."
21. In unison the teens placed their wands over little black top hats, "PLEASE AND THANKYOU" they shouted. Suddenly millions of little white bunnies popped out of the top hats. The sea of bunnies charged at me, I grabbed at one and was flung into...
22. I gasp loudly as I wake up in my bed. It is morning and I can smell breakfast from the kitchen. After such a long journey my stomach is not happy.
23. I went out into the common room and I found Qui-Gon in the kitchen cooking. "Morning sunshine. I've cooked your favourite today." I don't know where I am but I like it. "Bacon and fish?" I asked hopefully. "Of course dear, I can still remember how much you loved it when you were only six. A little rascal running around the rooms, all excited about been selected as a Padawan." I listened to Qui-Gon talk about the time when we first became Master and Apprentice in a loving, fatherly voice. From that moment, I know this is the Master Qui-Gon I've always wanted him to be.
24. "I love you Master."
25. "I love you too, my dear daughter." He said with a wink, ruffling my already messy hair.
The End
I'm much happier now..