Just a little one-shot I came up with about Tigerkit when I was procrastinating writing the Clan list for my story Bloodline. R&R!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Erin Hunter; I'm just messing with their heads.
What's In a Name?
They say a cat's name reflects a bit of who they are on the inside, but what if you were named after a traitor? What if you share a name with a cat who murdered and lied to get what he wanted? Does that mean you will turn out just like him?
Tigerpaw. Or Tigerstar. Some see little difference, only that the latter is dead and the first is his grandson.
The grandson of a traitor, with the misfortune of sharing his name.
I look like him, apparently. Due to the fact that I was born after he was murdered, I can't really bring information forward to support that statement.
But, other cats can. They look at me, they see the cat that killed their Clanmates, or forced their Clan into war, among other things.
My Clanmates are the best about it. They saw Tigerstar as a leader, not a great one, but a leader. He did do some good. He made ShadowClan strong again after the sickness. That's got to count for something. Right?
Of course, many will argue that he really only helped ShadowClan for his own selfish reasons.
Was he really all evil though? Could there have been some good in him? After all, some cats believe that ShadowClan itself is evil, but we are not. Just because of the mistakes of our ancestors they think that cold winds blow over every ShadowClan cat's heart. We are a Clan like any other, just because we aren't lead by a former kittypet they think us evil. But our queens are just as kind and nurturing towards are kits. My father and mother love each other just as much as the parents of Lionpaw. There is good in us, so why not Tigerstar?
"He murdered and lied to get what he wants," my mother replied whenever I asked her about this, "He was evil, and he paid for what he did, he paid with his life. We will have nothing to do with his memory."
I would then ask her why she named me after a cat so evil, if there was no reason for her to want me to be like him. She would then sigh and continue with an expression of longing and seriousness.
"I named you Tigerkit for two reasons. The first is that yes; you look like him. When you grow up, you will look like the cat I wanted him to be; and not the cat he chose to be."
I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted her to see that she did not name me in vain; that I would stay on StarClan's path, and not follow Tigerstar's.
That was easier said than done though.
The looks on the faces of the ThunderClan and WindClan cats when I went to my first gathering…
Would I have gotten them if I looked different? If my name wasn't Tigerkit?
It's like they want me to mess up and to be just like him. Like they were waiting for me to turn on them.
I want to prove them wrong. I really do.
But I can't ignore the little voice in my head that tells me how great it would be to lead my Clan into battle, to have power. To have cats look up to me, respect me instead of feeling uneasy with me.
Is that wrong?
--
He doesn't think so. Tigerstar that is.
He came to me in my dreams around the time I fought in my first battle. I loved it, being in battle. The feeling joy when the ThunderClan apprentice turned his tail and fled. I felt like I had done something important, and like I was unstoppable. I wanted more. And that scared me.
What if I went too far? What if I became what everyone seems to think my name should mean?
Tigerstar told me that I could have everything I wanted. He said that if I followed him, I could make my mother proud of me and have power in my
Clan. He said that all I had to do was follow him and let him teach me to be a better warrior.
I listened to him. I let him train me, and I became one of the best apprentices. My father and mentor, Rowanclaw told me that I would make a great leader someday.
I was happy. Truly happy. Except for the part of me that knew that I shouldn't be listening to Tigerstar.
I reasoned that he felt sorry for what he had done in the past, and that he was just trying to help me be a better warrior, and I ignored my doubts. After all, his tutoring led me to my warrior ceremony, and to win many battles for my Clan.
What could possibly go wrong?
--
Several things actually. Tigerstar announced his plans for my future shortly after I announced to him that I had been made deputy.
Tigerstar had great plans for the future, great plans. He told me that it was my duty to make these plans a reality, and that it was for the good of the Clans.
I don't see how murdering my leader and taking over the other Clans is for their own good.
I tell him no, that want no part in this.
"You fool," he replies, "You could have everything! Power is at the tip of your whiskers and you get cold feet! You are throwing away your dream!"
I didn't react for the longest time. I stared at the cat I share a name with and I think.
If I go along with his plans, I could be great! But I would be a murderer and a traitor at the same time. I would be just like him.
But is that such a bad thing?
If everyone thinks that I am going to turn out like him anyway, what's the point of resisting fate?
I considered the idea for a moment, and then rejected it as quickly as the thought had come to me.
I remembered my mother, Tawnypelt and everyone else who encouraged me to prove those cats who doubted me wrong.
My Clan had made me deputy! They already respect me!
Do I really need more power to be happy?
No.
"I named you after the cat I wanted him to be, not the cat he chose to be..."
I would be that cat. The one he could have been.
I turn around and walked away, from Tigerstar and his mistakes, because my name doesn't mean I have to make them too.
They say a cat's name reflects a bit of who they are on the inside.
They were right.
Fin.
Well I hope you liked it! Reviews are always welcome!
Patronus OUT!!
