General Ignorance
John eyed Sherlock, who was apparently snoozing on the sofa opposite him. The television remote was balanced precariously on the arm of said sofa, Sherlock's fingers placed protectively over it.
John looked at his watch. 8:25. 5 minutes to make his move or he was going to miss it. John looked back to Sherlock, eyes flashing between the watch, the remote and the gently snoring man. John nodded and pressed his elbows into the chair to begin hoisting himself up.
"John... what are you doing?" a voice muffled by the owner of its position i.e. mouth pressed against the seat he was lying on. John froze. Sherlock had rumbled him.
"I need to watch something" John said inching forward with each word. His hand hovered over the remote, praying that Sherlock didn't turn over. He didn't.
"Why? Is it a matter of national security, a real threat if you don't watch this show?" he muttered sarcastically, his voice still muffled.
"No John... ergo you do not need to watch something, you want to watch something." Sherlock continued not even waiting for John to answer. Sherlock slumped into silence again, pressing his head firmly into the cushion under his chin. John remained standing there, fingers just touching the remote, pulling it a tiny bit at a time
" John, just takes the damn remote and stop hovering!" Sherlock half snapped- half muttered in a tone that John hadn't even thought was possible. Needless to say he grabbed the remote in a millisecond before jumping back into his seat.
Sherlock snorted into his pillow.
"Jumpy today aren't we Watson?" he smirked. John glared at his friends back.
"How many times, have I told you not to call me that Holmes?" He shot back causing his friends body to quiver with laughter again. John noticed it wasn't an entirely un-pleasurable experience watching and listening to his friend laugh.
Tearing his eyes away from Sherlock, slowly John pressed the correct button on the remote and the TV crackled and fizzed with the effort of having to come to life.
Sherlock ignored the cool voice of the commentator faded from silence, as he announced that they were indeed watching BBC 2, like they needed someone to tell them the channel that THEY switched on and the same voice announcing the programme on next.
Suddenly he felt something bounce onto the seat next to him. Sherlock raised his head slightly to find a sheepish looking John staring at him.
"Problem... John?" he half stated- half asked. John motioned to the window and muttered something about getting a glare from the window. Sherlock raised an eyebrow, heaving himself into a sitting position, from the corner of his eye he looked at the window. It was dark outside. Glare?
John's eyes where now fixed on the tv screen where some programme was playing.
"QI?" Sherlock asked as the titles rolled. John looked at him and shrugged.
"New series, wanted to watch it" he muttered. Sherlock studied his flatmate, he was slightly red from embarrassment he presumed for it wasn't hot in the flat and they hadn't been arguing lately. He had a slightly sweaty brow- he was nervous for some reason. Sherlock frowned, what did John have to be nervous about.
"Good evening, good evening, good evening, GOOD EVENING!" the man on the screen announced.
Sherlock looked at the man behind the desk, smart, educated voice, most likely Oxford or Cambridge educated... he was guessing Cambridge, judging by the way he was dressed. Lost a lot of weight recently -still wearing a tie from when he was bigger and the indentation from where it had to be fastened further down it was still defiantly present. Most defiantly gay. Sherlock had a vague memory of watching this man in a comedy show when he was a young boy.
"Ladies and Gentlemen... welcome to QI, we are continuing down the alphabet with our new letter 'H' and we are beginning with the matters of the heart. Awwwww! Joining me tonight... be still my beating heart its Jo Brand!"
The audience broke into applause and the camera panned to a woman. She gave a slight incline with her head. Sherlock grimaced... That lipstick really did not suit her.
"He used to be a transplant surgeon, but his heart just wasn't in it..." The audience, as well as John groaned at such a bad joke. "It's Jimmy Carr!" More applause as the camera swung onto a man, who has been sitting next to the first woman. Black haired... small eyes. Comedian.
"He doesn't skip a beat..." Groan. "It's Hugh Dennis!" Applause... Another man, another comedian, bags under the eyes late nights, tired... Comedian.
"And, by Aorta!... It's Alan Davies!" Louder applause, even some cheers and whistles. Clearly the crowd favourite. Curly brown hair, short judging from his sitting height. More apparent when they showed him and the 3rd man together.
"Now for the first round. Its some easy points... Name me three ways you know someone's in love with you" the Cambridge man said from the middle. Clearly the host of the show.
"What you mean... like body language?" the crowd favourite said.
"Yes that's exactly what I mean, Alan" the host said coolly, clearly used to babying the first man.
John looked over at Sherlock who seemed to have gravitated towards the TV in the last 5 minutes. He was perched only just on the edge of the seat, head in hands and fingers together and pointed towards the ceiling cupping his nose. He was entranced by the programme.
"Well... I have heard Stephen. That there isn't really any body language that can truly tell if someone loves you or-"a claxon sounded cutting off the speech of the black haired man. Sherlock jumped as the words "THERE ARENT ANY" flashed behind the guests heads, that same claxon blaring over and over again. The dark haired man looked shocked, and the audience groaned.
"Ah... I'm afraid you're incorrect Jimmy. There have been psychologically proven so called 'love signals', which is pretty much just body language. And they can tell if someone's in love with you" the host said, pretending to be upset but clearly enjoying correcting the man.
"Would one of them be them being in close proximity to you?" the woman asked. The audience tittered and she stared them down.
"Yes I know the word proximity!" she said jokingly, shaking her head and raising her arms. The audience and the panel laughed. John laughed along with them, Sherlock failed to see what was so funny.
"Yes... that would be one Jo. Points" the host agreed, wiping his eyes. Sherlock's memory flickered back to John, moving next to him mere minutes before, for no apparent reason. That would be considered 'close proximity'. Sherlock laughed at the thought, he didn't see John's eyes flash to him.
"I've heard of something... Nice or Cold, isn't it?" the tired looking man said. The host nodded.
"Yes points to Hugh... being very nice one day and ignoring you the other day is one of the strongest sings. The logic behind this is very simple, at the beginning the person treats you very nicely because he likes you but when he goes home he realizes that he has done too much effort without receiving a response. This person might say to himself "Oh my God, I did show lots of signs today that shows that I am interested but I still got no response, tomorrow I should totally ignore her." the host said to a blank looking panel, including the one that had first brought it up. The audience laughed once more at their clear confusion.
Sherlock frowned again. John had done that in the past. There was one day when he'd stormed out of the flat and the day before he had made such an effort to be kind, he'd helped him with his experiments, cleaned up when they had inevitably gone wrong.
"Yes others include smiling...a smile will not fade away quickly if the person is genuinely interested in you." It was a rare occasion when John wasn't smiling at him, excluding the time he nearly blew up the flat... "Cancelling their other plans in order to see you." That had happened many a time where Sherlock had called John, who had come running. Sherlock had only found out later that he had been running out on Sarah and Sherlock had promptly got a slap for his troubles." And even "Orienting them in your direction even if they were standing with other people. Orienting themselves means that they stand with their shoulders parallel to yours and with their toes pointing towards you" Sherlock peered at the man lying on the sofa next to him, sure enough his feet where pointed towards him.
"The funny thing is... they can do this subconsciously, with the exception of the cancelling of plans. Sometimes the person they love can work it out before even the person themselves knows." The host said.
"Sherlock?" John said as he turned to find his flatmate staring at him absentmindedly. Sherlock shook his head, his eyes focusing on Johns.
"You alright there?" John asked, his lips creeping up into a smile. Sherlock felt his mouth go dry. He leant forward and stared John in the eye.
"Sherlock-.." John was cut off by Sherlock's lips crashing down onto his. John was dumbstruck as Sherlock practically launched himself onto him, pinning John between the sofa and his body. And Sherlock... he kisses the way that John knew that he would.
He's reading the signs of John's body, moving his head at the precise moment that John moves his or in some cases even before. There's nothing sloppy about him, unlike some of John's drunken fumbling with men in the past. It's all thought, practice, control and method... it is 100 percent Sherlock.
Sherlock lifted his mouth from his, his eyes closed and his breath ragged. John can feel every sigh and every breath that rocks through his roommate's body.
John reached up and ran a finger down his cheekbone. Sherlock's eyes slowly opened and John's stomach squirmed as he saw that his eyes were virtually black from desire. He could see himself, panting and flushed in them.
Sherlock bent down and lightly placed a kiss on John's collarbone. He nipped him lightly, smiling against John's neck as he heard the recipient groan with desire.
"Sherlock..." John began again. The younger man leant back on his haunches, his legs pressed against Johns.
"John" he said simply.
"We... You and me... we just kissed..." John said slightly shocked and bemused. Sherlock raised an eyebrow at him. He leant over and placed another light kiss on the doctor's lips. John groaned as Sherlock pulled away again to go back sitting practically on John's legs.
"And now we've kissed again...it that a problem?" he whispered. John attempted to sit up higher in the sofa, struggling against Sherlock's weight.
"Well for one... I'm s-traight" he said carefully. Sherlock snorted. John looked at him confused and slightly scared.
"You did not kiss like someone who hadn't kissed a man before... Beside Mycroft looked into you when you came to live with me... Drunk and disorderly, down an alley, behind G-A-Y bar?" Sherlock tutted, raising an eyebrow.
"With another man..." he said slowly leaning in towards John. John flushed at the memory and Sherlock's face coming closer and closer to his.
"Straight are we John?" Sherlock asked quietly, his eyes flashed down Johns tensed body, he looked back up smiling suggestively.
"You're body is telling me something very different" he whispered huskily, his mouth gently pecking John's neck, his teeth grazing over the sensitive skin there. John whimpered, his eyes closing.
"Y-yes... but your Sherlock Holmes. Your married to your work- you don't even have an area!" he gabbled his brain swimming with thoughts. Sherlock chuckled against his neck.
"Well... maybe I've found my area" he whispered gently. John nodded, his brain still firing madly and his body trying to work out what had actually just happened, it seemed that if it'd been anyone else saying that they'd just kissed Sherlock bloody Holmes he would have told them to piss off.
However his lips were still tingling from their kiss, Sherlock was still straddling his legs with a slightly confused expression beginning to appear on his face. It appears that he was not going mad.
John leant up as far as he could and planted a light kiss on the man's lips, to which he returned it as soft and gently as John had given it, making sure not to rush things. Thank god for QI and their subjects, and for speaking a language Sherlock would actually understand, he decided as Sherlock pressed him down into the couch once more.
Just a random idea that came to me the other day. Its a bit rushed, written so ignore any typos and enjoy :D