Blankety Blank of a Blanky
By: Angelus Erreare
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All DDS characters belong to ATLUS USA.
A/N: Just a relief fic. I needed humor after writing tons and tons of angst and drama…Eww…Anyway, this is a relief fic from "Contra Mundum" and "Per Aspera Ad Astra". Also, it was just an idea I expanded.
WARNING: OOC, LANGUAGE
Chapter 1: Insecurity
Cielo trudged along the light streets of Muladhara with a pout on his cute lips, his eyebrows furrowed in sheer concentration, his sapphire eyes blazing with resolve and utter determination. With his hands firmly and tightly shoved within his pockets, he continued to make his way along the streets ignoring the light drizzle and the chilly wind.
'Hmph…! I just don't understand ja?' he told himself.
Ah yes.
It was a question or rather a situation in his life that seemed to pervade his career…and much to his dismay, his whole existence.
He gritted his teeth and clutched the fabric of his uniform's shorts from where his hands were shoved. He just didn't get it.
He just didn't understand it!
'How da heck does Heat do it?!' he asked himself in complete frustration, his heart beating faster and faster as the seconds ticked by with no apparent answer dawning upon his ever persistent question.
He sighed; maybe he should just give up.
He shook his head; he didn't want to…Not really. His issue had been plaguing him for a while now and he just couldn't help but just be plain miserable about it.
What situation…?
'Why am I stuck being a mage while Heat gets all dem strength ja?!' he yelled within his mind, 'I'm a man too! I should be doing de punching and de gutting and all dat! Not some…some stupid girly spells!'
He grinded his teeth together, hoping against hope that the friction in his mouth created by his aforesaid grinding teeth would offer him comfort and relief…Alas, it had given him little comfort…and even less relief.
Now, all that he could hear was the sound of his teeth clashing against each others'! He closed his eyes momentarily; he could hear nothing but the stinging and screechy vibes. He supposed that it closely resembled the ever annoying and vexing sound one heard when a person would scratch her fingernails on the chalkboard.
Yup.
It was definitely like that.
He blinked then. He suddenly straightened up his posture.
The mess hall.
What the heck was he doing there?! Forget that! How the heck did he get there?! He frowned and looked at his feet disapprovingly, wagging his index finger back and forth in front of him and spoke, "You two are naughty ja?" he asked as he scolded his feet for bringing him there.
Great.
He was talking to his feet.
Yup. It was official. He was a bona fide idiot and a fruitcake.
He cringed at the last one.
Oh well. There was no use in arguing with himself about it. He was already there anyway; he might as well enjoy it.
He walked over to one of the empty tables and there sat himself down, putting his arms on the table's surface before bringing his head down to rest on them.
He groaned; why oh why did the gods curse him with such a position?! A mage…a healer! Indeed! It was preposterous!
They practically made him into a nurse! A male nurse…!
He sweat-dropped; not that he had anything against male nurses…No. He knew that it was a humble and noble profession. He didn't have any qualms about it. It wasn't that. It was just that…
'Why do I have to be de nurse ja!? Dere are other guys out dere fit for dat kinda stuff mon!' he thought a bit bitterly.
"Cielo?"
He suddenly stiffened and then groaned once more. He didn't even feel the onset of a presence coming into being…He didn't even flinch to hear the footsteps that had neared him and had inevitably reached him…
Damn…
Maybe…Maybe he really was cut out to be a…a…a male nurse…
"Wat…?" he asked uninterestedly, his voice muffled by his arms and uniform, refusing to address the person who was speaking to him formally. What was the point anyway? He already knew who it was…
"Cielo," the person began, taking a seat right across from him, "are you alright…?"
Here, at the sound of the soft voice and the words of concern, he raised his head and smiled tightly, "Hey Argilla…" he said with soft sigh, "I'm fine ja? So…um…wat's up?"
She smiled at him in return but he knew that she didn't buy his story…She knew that there was something bothering her teammate and comrade.
"Cielo, I'm not stupid." Argilla said firmly, crossing her arms on her chest, "I know something's wrong. Why don't you just tell me? I want to help you…" she finished; the firm gaze that she had held now softening. And at that, Cielo's countenance had relinquished its somewhat stiffened and tensed demeanor as well.
Well…he wouldn't tell her what his exact problem was…but he figured that it wouldn't hurt to give her a hint, ne?
And so, he cast his head down; not daring to meet her eyes. No; he couldn't do that. He wouldn't be able to get away from her and her probing and prodding questions if he did; she would be able to read him like an open book!
"Say…Argilla…"
"Hm?"
"Um…do you ever feel…as if…as if you were stationed on your duties…inappropriately…?" he asked in a low tone, his voice meek…gentle…almost wistful. But it didn't get by Argilla without being scrutinized for its hidden meaning.
Oh no.
She was surprised a bit though. Cielo had asked her a very pertinent question. He had been eloquent as well. No more of that jovial or carefree tone. No…
He was serious.
But then again; he had asked her such a question in an unfazed way; as if he were just trying to make conversation. But she knew otherwise.
And she probably had an idea of what it was…
"Um…sometimes…"
Cielo's head snapped alert at that; she did!?
"Well…that was before." she finished with a smile, "When I was first stationed in my first platoon and designated as a mage…well, it had been…difficult."
Now, Cielo was interested to know. What happened? Why had it been difficult…? And most importantly, what changed her mind.
"Wat happened?" he asked in a low tone.
Argilla blinked; she was still having a hard time getting used to a serious-looking and serious-sounding Cielo. For some reason, it just didn't seem right to her. She shuddered at that.
"Well," she began as she put a hand on her chin in reminiscence, "well…let's just say that I had found a patient that I wouldn't mind healing and caring for, for the rest of my career." she said with a chuckle.
Cielo made a face. And he thought that it would be some sort of divine revelation, some sort of holy epiphany that had prompted his teammate to stay within that current job.
'I should've known.' he thought to himself, 'I should've known dat it would be a guy to change her mind.'
What guy?
Well, he didn't need to answer that. Everybody who was anybody knew whom Argilla had been insinuating about.
"I know that that's not what you want to hear Cielo." he heard his teammate say as she chuckled, "What I want to tell you is that, if you feel that you have your calling out there in the field, then listen to it."
Cielo stiffened at that. He perked up his ears and his eyes dilated, fixed on the pink-haired woman across from him.
"W-wat…?"
She chuckled again, "I said that there are many cadets or officers who are unsatisfied with their line of work…Either their positions or their scope of duties and responsibilities. Most of those people," she paused as she leaned towards him, her eyes deadly fixed on his, "are dissatisfied because that is not their true calling…"
"True…calling…?" he repeated like a zombie.
She nodded with a cheerful smile as she leaned back again, leaning back on the backrest of the chair, "Yes. A calling. It's the passion that you have for that activity. Or in this case, your job."
"Oh…" Cielo trailed off; completely understanding.
She giggled, "As for me, I've found my true calling!"
Cielo made a sour face and there snorted, "Ja…ja mon…I don't need to know dat stuff…You can snog Serph all you want but leave me out of it."
She blushed, "Erm…yes…Well, that's beside the point. Anyway Cielo, I hope you feel better…" She really did. Cielo may be a kid comparatively to her; seeing that she was older by a few years…But she also knew that by tribal law, Cielo was designated as a man. And hence, he was free to make his own decisions.
She wasn't leading him around to nowhere either.
The true calling. It was essential for people like Cielo. Younger people like him still have that rush; that wave of passion. She knew that he had asked her that question because he himself was dissatisfied with his position.
With their talk now having ended, she could only hope that he would heed her words.
Argilla then stood and Cielo gave her a curious look to which she smiled, "I gotta go. I need to be at the infirmary."
Duty calls.
Oh okay…
Whatever.
xxxxx
Cielo lay there on his bunk, wide awake even when it had been past midnight. He just couldn't sleep as he kept thinking about what he and Argilla had spoken about.
She was right of course!
That was the reason why he wasn't happy with his job! It wasn't for him!
He smiled; yes…He had always wanted to be something else…
He thought for a moment and there made a mental sketch of all his teammates. The first being Argilla. He shuddered; nope. He had the same job as she and he didn't like it.
'Okay…Next!'
The next in the lineup was Gale. Cielo blinked as he mentally pictured Gale. Cold…calculating…unfeeling…rigid…
Again, he shuddered. Nope. That wasn't for him. Being a…a scientist…?
'Eh…no.'
And he didn't need to openly justify why. To be put bluntly, he just merely did not possess the mental faculties or the strict rigid discipline for it. Nope. Not in a million years would he be able to do what Gale did.
So, the next was…
Serph.
He sweat-dropped. That was easy.
'I can't be like Serph!' he thought with a laugh, 'Dere can only be one leader of de tribe!'
Besides, Cielo was dead sure that he wouldn't be able to do what Serph did. What was it that he did?
'Keep his mouth shut for too long…!' He shuddered.
'Did dat mean he has to brush his teeth every hour?' he thought. It wasn't a secret that those who rarely spoke would be having a major case of overwhelming dragon-breath!
'Eww…! Nasty…!' he thought, 'But den again…Argilla would be happy to brush his teeth for him!' he laughed.
'Okay…dat's just weird. Next!'
Next…!?
There was no one left!
Well, there was one more left…But he was the person that Cielo hardly ever got along with! Why? Because that guy was a self-detonating bomb! That was why!
He frowned at that thought. True that the said person was a comrade and all…But, let's just say that he wasn't the person Cielo would hang out with for a drink at a bar for picking up girls…
Nope.
That guy would sooner kill him than do that.
But still…Cielo had run out of options. And so, without further ado, he let his mind meander. He smiled; dazzled.
'Wow…!' he thought as he remembered his performance.
Whose performance?
Who else? Heat, their brute of course!
'Yea! He got to do so many cool stuff ja?!' he thought as his imagination ran away with him.
'He got to fight wid dem bad guys one on one ja?! Punching and kicking! And…none of dat healing crap…' he finished with a sudden thought of disdain.
At that thought, he imagined…
He imagined what would it be like if he and Heat had switched places…What if he had been classified as the Embryon's strongest fighting machine…and Heat had been the team's healer?
Cielo chuckled, 'I would be having de best life ever!'
Yes. He imagined it now. Parades after parades would be had in his honor. Girls would just start to fall at his feet…just begging for a chance to be dated by their strongest and most handsomest of warriors…
There he was, standing in the middle of the crowd, with his robust and strong posture, his hands on his hips commandingly, his chin tilted upwards in an almost arrogant manner. He had his eyes closed for but a moment before he opened them, looking lazily yet firmly on the horizon.
His chest was hard, tight and firm, rippling and bulging with muscles. His blue hair was caught in a gentle breeze, its tendrils dancing along its teasing motion, making his countenance all the more majestic…
"Oh Cielo…can you teach us how…to make sweet hot love…?"
"All in good time…" he trailed off in reply solemnly, not even sparing the attractive and submissive women at his feet a glance.
Cielo's heart beat erratically as his imagination ran amuck; he could practically see himself in that fantasy! He practically heard that sultry yet innocent female voice in his head, perfectly seeing their voluptuous bodies in front of him as well!
"Ack!" he suddenly exclaimed, "I want dat ja?!"
Oh yes. When he became like Heat, he would be revered…Fame and fortune would be his. Wealth, wine and women would merely throw themselves at his feet.
Yes. There would no longer be any of that…healing and spell casting nonsense! Hmph! From now on, there would only be what mattered most. Power. Strength.
That was it.
It was decided.
That was what he wanted to do.
He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be as strong as Heat. 'No mon! Even better! Hah! Watch out Embryon! Cielo is going for a makeover!!'
He paused, being completely still.
A makeover?
He shook his head and slammed his palm on his forehead. Perhaps he had been hanging out with female healers too much…Even his word usage was being feminine…
Well, it just went to show him that he had a lot of work to do in order to catch up to Heat!
xxxxx
He fixed his eyes on his redheaded comrade as they battled a squad of renegade rookies. It had been him, Argilla and Heat. Cielo's eyes were blazing with admiration and his heart pounded excitedly as he saw that his redheaded teammate still had to get even a scratch on him!
One after another, the enemy fell before Heat's strong hands…
Cielo was amazed, 'I…I wanna be like dat ja!?'
xxxxx
It had been a few hours now and they had made it back safely to Muladhara. Again, Cielo found himself alone in the mess hall. He had been thinking about Heat's fighting technique…He was a force of sheer strength! He had totally overwhelmed his opponents! None of them had stood even a ghost of a chance!
Cielo smiled; now he knew for certain that this was his true calling!
He stood up and wanted to report to the drill sergeant to ask for a transfer…But…aa…No. He would never allow it.
Why?
'Because dey think dat I'm some weak girl!!' he mentally screamed.
No.
What he needed to do was to convince them for a transfer after doing self training! That was right! He needed to do his own training and when he was stronger and fit enough, the instructors would have no choice but to transfer him! They wouldn't have any reason to deny him!
He smiled cheekily at that as his sapphire eyes narrowed into slits like that of a grinning fox.
'Sly…'
So then…
His thoughts meandered…
Hmph…
Training…What sort of training…?
His brain suddenly pulsed! That was right! Heat!! He was the key! All he needed to do was to watch Heat and see what made him tick! He had to observe him and find out the source of his strength!
He needed to know! And when he did…
'I'd be better dan him!' he thought with utter determination as he clenched his hands into fists, 'Look out world! Dis is de beginning of a new and improved Cielo!!'
xxxxx