If only. If only I weren't such a coward, if only I could do better than just my best.

"No." I responded dryly to the girl with the sad eyes, sympathy not apparent in my voice.

At that point I wasn't even so sure I knew how to convey sympathy or compassion, those simplistic human traits were lost on me; weakness was all that ever came to mind when hearing those words.

"Jade, I-I thought...I-" she spoke in a defeated voice, her words broken down into stuttering fragments of a sentence.

I quickly placed my index finger over her lips immediately causing her to hush. "Stop, Tori, just stop."

I didn't dare to take one last glance at her eyes which were just a few seconds ago almost filled to the brim with tears. I walked away; it's what I do best after all.

But it was that exact moment that stopped me in my tracks; I lifted my hand to my cheek, a tear. I was actually crying. I finally knew what compassion really was.

CHAPTER ONE.

"Vega." I threatened as I approached and glared directly at the girl who had been standing just a little too close to my boyfriend.

She sighed, knowing full well there was always something she was doing wrong. "Yes, Jade?"

"MOVE!" I didn't hesitate to scream in her face; as usual she backed off with some dumb look of confusion on her face. That girl just never could get a hint; I've been shoving her to the side, in more ways than one, since she arrived at this damn school. Yet there she was, quite literally waiting for me to come and push her away once again.

I watched as her facial expression shifted from confusion to…anger? I had never encountered that look on innocent little Vega's profile. While I was in no way scared, I was intrigued, even as I waited for her to come back with her usual pathetic plea for us to be friends, but nothing came and just like that she was gone.

Hearing a groan, I quickly averted my eyes to the only person that was left standing there. "Damn it Jade. What's the matter with you? I'm sick of this. Tori's a friend, at least to me."

I would have under normal circumstances retorted with a facetious comment at the least but I found myself unable to process anything, something was different, something clicked.

Had Vega actually stirred up some kind of reaction within me? Curiosity was now in the same brain wave of Tori Vegas name.

Fuck. That.

I was going to have to make that change as soon as possible.

"Hello?" Becks somehow somber yet annoyed voice had broken me out of my clouded thoughts, I glanced at his direction raising a pierced eyebrow awaiting his finishing statement.

He let out a soft sigh and tugged me by the waist closer to him, shooting me those big puppy dog eyes; silently pleading for me to make a better attempt at being nice…for the millionth time. "Jade, I love you. But if you don't go and make things right with Tori-" he shifted his gaze to the floor, giving me an unbearably uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. "Then I just can't do this anymore. For real this time." One kiss on my cheek then a tug on his backpack and he was off to class.

THUD! My fist slammed into my locker door, earning a low growl from my throat. I could care less about the physical pain; anger consumed every part of me quickly leaving behind any sign of sadness. I wasn't going to lose Beck. I couldn't.

- Lunch-

I decided to let Beck cool off and have lunch with out me, and to be honest I needed some time to come up with a plan.

I know what you're thinking; Jade West needs time to come up with something? Well on a normal occasion of course not, I'm brilliantly cunning. This situation however calls for something so well thought out that no one could fuck with it. I needed Beck to see that things are just peachy with Vega and I needed, needed, needed to prove this disgusting curiosity of her irrelevant.

Closing the door to the janitor's closet, I leaned back against the cold wall and tapped my thumbs feverishly over the keys of my phone.

Janitors closet. Now.

I sent the text quickly to Vegas phone, knowing full well that she'd comply with little complaint.

Not even a few minutes had passed when the door slowly cracked open and her slim body slipped though, shutting it behind her.

I straightened my form and prepared for the act, I was going to very smoothly convince Vega that I had an epiphany and so desperately wanted to make things right with her.

Thank god I'm a fantastic actress.

Before I could even attempt to open my mouth though, Vega had me backed against the wall, a look of determination on her face.

"I didn't come here for whatever fucked up scheme you had in mind."

Whoa, did she just, say fuck? Whatever this was she was doing, had me mentally and somehow, physically confused. "Excus-"

I was cut off. "No, I've had it with your negative attitude Jade. I'm done trying to be nice to you over and over again. " Vega shook her head, visibly annoyed "I thought I wanted to be friends with you Jade, but now I see that I just don't."

As she backed off and started to turn around, I reached out and grabbed her wrist in an attempt to pull her attention back to me. There was no way in hell she was going to get away with talking to me that way.

Vega apparently had other plans though, pulling her wrist from my grip and forcibly shoving me back against the wall (Ouch, since when was Vega this strong?) I could feel her breath on my lips and her almost inhuman hold on my waist keeping me in place.

Anyone else would have felt fear; even I had to admit the current position I was in was just a bit scary. I felt no fear though, instead I felt something I would have never expected; Excitement and in more ways than one.

Before she could mutter out any words, I could have sworn I witnessed her eyes turn a darker shade and her breathing become shallow. I didn't have much time to think about it though, as she immediately covered her tracks with some more harsh words.

"Don't grab me. Don't even bother speaking to me. I'm done Jade." With that, she released her hold on me and left the room.

Done? Done with what? Since when was there ever anything to be done with? I stood there frozen, suddenly unable to organize a single thought. It was as if those few minutes in the closet completely disorganized and rearranged everything.

"Jade!" Becks voice caught my ears as soon as I walked out of the Janitors closet. I felt cold to his affections as he wrapped an arm around me.

"Where were you at lunch babe? Did you talk to Tori?" His had been voice eager and forgiving.

I sighed, having realized it completely slipped my mind that the whole reason I invited Vega to the closet was for him. Wanting to avoid talking about what had happened, I simply shook my head in denial. "I'm going to head home."

Without offering more of an explanation, I leaned up and planted a chaste kiss on his lips before walking off to my car.

Beck was great that way; he never really questioned when I'd just up and leave. He understood me and was always there when I decided to run back.

Unlike Vega, which she had proven today when she threw everything at my feet and seemingly disappeared for good. WAIT, why am I comparing Beck and Vega? Why for fucks sake am I even bothering to worry about it.

She's gotten into my head and somehow made a home right in the center of my already mad mind. I need severance. I'm going to do anything to drown her out.