"Chosen" is the word that defines my existence.
To be chosen is a good thing. After all, we all want to be preferred as a friend, or picked for a team, or selected for a part in the school play. It makes us special, and a part of something. To be chosen is to be included in something great, something bigger than ourselves. The idea of being chosen simultaneously celebrates individuality and belonging. A beautiful idea.
I can understand why Cruxis picked that word to define the one who would journey to awaken Martel. The Chosen of Mana is someone who was selected for a bigger role than the ordinary citizen. But to be chosen as a sacrifice is to be set apart, different from everyone you know and love. It makes us belong to Martel, but it estranges us from a normal life. Doubly so because we know that whether we succeed or fail our life will end on the Journey of Regeneration.
To be honest I had never questioned the necessity of the Chosen, or the horror of what they had to endure. I was honored by my role and used to the idea that I would die. After all, it would only be a sort of death, because my life would be poured out as the nourishment for my beautiful Sylvarant. I determined to pursue my quest to the end, and even my love for Lloyd could not keep me from my role as sacrifice.
But then by some twist of fate I lived through it. The determination of my friends kept me from my death on Cruxis' alter, and to be honest on some level I felt like a failure. I was glad to fight by Lloyd's side for a better world, but I was still unsure of who I was now. A failed Chosen. The girl who was supposed to die and couldn't even do that properly.
However I was blind, it wasn't until I met Tethe'alla's Chosen and got to know him that I really understood the role we were both given at birth.
Zelos was my opposite in almost every way. He was loud and flamboyant with an opinion on everything. I was quiet and subdued and content to go along with my friends' desires. Everyone in Tethe'alla knew he was the Chosen, and he had political power that he wielded expertly because of it. Hardly anyone in Sylvarant knew of my role, it was even hard to get people to believe I was the Chosen sometimes! And as for using my position for a say in what went on in the world…well any effect I had was more incidental than intentional. He was a practiced Casanova, and I couldn't even tell the boy I liked how much I loved him without tripping over myself. He hated the title and the idea of being a sacrifice. The role of sacrifice was my entire life. He was yang to my yin.
That being said, we had some things in common. We were both consummate actors, although I think he's a bit better at it than I am. We both hide our feelings from our friends, and we both have lied to them when we thought it would be the best way. We both care about people, although Zelos might claim he only cares for himself.
The other thing we have in common was the ability to see through one another's acting. But we made a silent pact to not reveal each other. Zelos knew something was wrong with my cruxis crystal and my body before anyone else, and I knew he would never really betray us. We didn't spend much time specifically together, but we developed a silent communication. He would always say, "We Chosens have to stick together!" and in a unique way we really did. We didn't have anyone else who understood.
Journeying with Zelos made me realize that we were Chosen to hold the hopes of our worlds, and it was our responsibility to work for the greatest good of everyone. Even if people didn't see it. We were already tagged as a sacrifice, it wasn't much of a step to become a scapegoat to blame for what was wrong with the world. Even so, it was within our power to change the world for the better and bring everyone's hope for a new life to fruition. Some people still won't like us, but as long as we have done the best we could, we can live up to the role of Chosen.
It wasn't until the story of our journey was over that I realized how much of an impact he had on me, and how much I missed him. The strange Chosen from another world had somehow without many words become my closest friend. Lloyd and Sheena went off together and I found myself thinking of a red-haired loudmouth instead of my childhood crush. It was strange, and a little disconcerting. Luckily for me the end of our journey to change the world was not the end of my story with him.
Here I intend to collect a few snapshots of the journey of we two Chosens, a log of my memories. I don't intend to write in any particular order, just whatever comes into my head. I want to have our story on paper, and if someone besides just me enjoys the telling my heart will be glad.
Martel's Blessing,
Colette