Red vs. Blue: Church's Nephew

Chapter 1: SMACK

I don't own Red vs. Blue

It has been six months since the end of the Meta, and Tex. Church is gone, Agent Washington is with the blues. Off the bat, everyone assumed Wash to be the new leader…but they were wrong, oh, so wrong

6:30 am

BEEP, BEEP! Wash's alarm clock rang as he turned it off. He yawned and stretched. He got up, looking at himself in the mirror, his black hair wasn't really so messy, but he couldn't find any gel. His green eyes looked around his room. He put on his now blue and yellow armor and stepped out. He smelled something burning as he ran toward the kitchen, to find a sleeping Caboose. And a burning pan.

"Oh my God!" Yelled Wash as he put it out.

Caboose woke up, he rubbed his blonde hair and looked up.

"Hi Agent Nevada!" He said cheerfully

"It's Washington, Jesus Christ, Caboose! You could have set the base on fire!"

Caboose got up and put some ashes on two plates.

"It's bacon!"

"Caboose, why are there three plates?"

"That one's for Tucker, but he doesn't get any because he's stupid!"

A crash was heard as Tucker stepped in the kitchen.

"God, I almost tripped on that thing! Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow! What's for breakfast?"

"Here." Said Wash giving Tucker his plate

"I just lost my appetite!"

"Hello?" Came a voice

"Yeah""Um, it's Joseph Church, I'm suppose to be the new leader of Blue base."

"Yeah, come in."Someone came in, but he was about a quarter of the size of them!"You're…."Tucker began

"Yeah…a kid.""How does a kid work at Command?"

"Because I was Church's nephew and due to my combat experience, I'm better than Agent Washington! He died.""Yes, we heard.""So, you can call me Sergeant Church, or Master, or King, or Sir!

Wow! You guys eat breakfast late!" "What do you mean?" Asked Caboose

"What time do you wake up?""Six thirty."

"WHAT! You should be waking up at three! NO BREAKFAST FOR YOU!" He said kicking the table, knocking the plates off.

"Get outside and do one hundred laps around the base!"

A HALF AN HOUR LATER

Washington completed another lap."Great what's your face! You're done!"Caboose ran after him.

"Seventy five!"

Then came Tucker out of breath

"I…I can't do it!""Um…number 1" He said

"Time to raise the bar!"

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Tucker screamed in pain as Joseph…I mean Sergeant Church whipped Tucker!"Oh my God!" SMACK!"You raciest! I'm not your slave!""Of course not, you're not black, are you?"After a long silence

"You're black…oh well." SMACK!

A FEW HOURS LATER

Sergeant Church laid dinner out in front of everyone. It was some white weird stuff."What's this?" Asked Caboose

"Tofu.""Toenails, YUCK!""Not toenails! TOFU!""Do we have anything to mix this with?" Asked Wash

"No! Remember when I took all your weight. You're all fat.""This… is Hell." Said Tucker

SMACK!

TO BE CONTINUED