I can't seem to find enough strength to retain this side of me, stronger now than before and leaving me exhausted by the end of the day. With each passing day it's been harder to restrain myself from attacking those near me. I wanted to protect Yuki, shield her from this ugly world yet I hurt her the most and when she falls back I don't catch her but Kiryu does. Kiryu . . . the thought of him feels me with utter disgust and an unexplainable longing, to sink my fangs into his soft flesh, to tame him. He should be grateful, thanking me and kissing the ground I walk on for my charitable act. I could have left him to destroy himself as he fell to Level E yet I allowed him to drink my blood, knowing full well the bond it would create. I took that risk but I did it to protect her.
Everything I did was for her is what I thought at first. Now I everything I do is for him.
"What are you thinking about?" My lover's voice reaches me in a soft whisper. He turns towards me ever so slightly. I don't move my chin from his shoulder, my hands over his swollen belly. Instead I take pleasure in the way his silver locks tickle my cheek and the feeling of life within him.
"Just thinking." I answer simply, planting a quick chaste kiss on his lips.
"About?" The ex-human pressed on, his lilac eyes locked on mine. A simple answer was never enough for him.
Taking in a small breath, I speak again while massaging his bump. "I'm just thinking about the past year I've spent with you."
"Regrets?"
"More or less." This time I mumbled those words, which was, if I do say so myself, out of character. I had my regrets, yes I regretted a lot of things at the beginning but now they've dwindled into to pity whines. I wasn't acting like the pureblood I should have, let alone a good partner. He deserved better.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
"Please stay in line! No Pushing!" I heard Yuki's voice ring clear over the squeals and calls of the girls as they tried to grab the attention they so desperately craved for from the Night Class students as we passed by while ignoring the orders of Cross Academy's very own disciplinary members. It was an average routine which I had thought I was immune to, however today it only caused my head to ache. I turned my head slightly to look at the two of them trying to gain control over the crowd. My eyes rested upon the silver-headed ex-human for a while, to the point where I had not realized my feet stop in their tracks.
"She said get in line." Zero's cold tone seemed to quiet the girls and ease my pain for the moment. The girls now muttered about how mean or how scary he was towards them. The irony is almost amusing; they don't know the fragile boy veiled deep behind that stoic face he wears so well, along with the monster he tries so desperately to shut out of his entire being. However it's pointless and I must say I'm not surprised that this is the same boy who thought it would be easy to take his own life.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
I found him on the ground, curled up in a ball with one hand firmly latched onto to his gun and the other clutching at his throat, desperate to hold on to what little was left of his sanity. The pain was escalating by the second and soon enough he would have fallen to Level E. I had only watched as he tried to sit up, his groans echoing throughout the forest as a light shower began to fall quietly around us.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He hissed, acknowledging my presence. The fact that he was able to speak in his current condition was somewhat surprising. As a reward for his will power, I decided to reply to his question.
"More or less." I answered, standing over him. It still brought me frustration that he could look me in the eye and bare his fangs with ease. Maybe he did not have as much control as I thought. I made a mental note in my mind to correct this flaw later on, teach him who was superior to whom.
Frowning, he looked away. "Here to do the honors of killing me, huh? I no longer serve a purpose to protect Yuki now in your little game I presume."
"True, you no longer serve a purpose to protect Yuki at this point." I admitted to him as I unbuttoned and removed my blazer before kneeling down. I did not want to stain my uniform with the blood of a pathetic ex-human. Taking his chin in between my fingers, I forced him to make eye contact with me. "That doesn't mean you are of no use to me."
Swiftly, he brought the gun up to his head, his eyes daring me to make a move, try to stop him. I felt the corners of my mouth curl up in a simple smile. This desperate attempt was almost amusing. "No need to be in such a rush to die, Kiryu-san." I whispered, placing a hand over his that held the gun. "I know you, I know you very well. You wouldn't shoot but . . . we both know very well I would. Pity though, you've given up on your wish to see Yuki smile from the bottom of her heart. Is that not what you told me? "
"Did you not agree with me?" The ex-human spat back, lilac eyes flickering to a vibrant of red from the anger surging through his body. I could not disagree for he spoke the truth but he did still have a role to play. Killing him now would not benefit me so I plan to use him in another way. However, the outcome still remained unclear. Only time will tell the way that it goes.
"Then let me put us both out of our misery." I uttered and in one swift movement the gun had been discarded, thrown across the forest floor, and I had him pinned down. The impact caused him to gag and he squirmed underneath me immediately. For a brief second, I saw fear pass through his eyes and as much as I would have loved to torture him I couldn't take up the offer. I was in no position to at the moment. The hunger I had been suppressing for so long was becoming quite troublesome now that I was so close to satisfying. Just the sound of his heartbeat sent a tingle through my entire body, my fangs descending and suddenly bare as I leaned over into the nape of his neck.
"W-what are you d-doing?" The ex-human stammered, struggling to free himself from beneath me as my tongue brushed against his soft efforts were futile. Brushing my lips over his tattoo, I penetrated his skin with my fangs and almost melted at the sweet taste of his blood, finally satisfying my hunger. I'll admit to being a bit ruthless with the biting and taking pleasure in his screams that followed afterwards, echoing all through the forest. Surprisingly, his blood didn't taste as bad as I thought it would, it was the complete opposite. It was sweet like honey, the taste of it sent me into ecstasy. I could have literally eaten him right then and there. Yet had I not retained my self-control, I wouldn't have felt the way he was reacting, wouldn't have felt the way he arched his back into me, our chest pressed together. I felt totally different, the connection between us so complex yet thrilling. My senses had poured into every inch of his body, I knew him in that instance. Something about this was arousing as well, the heat in my groin was increasing at a fast pace. God, if only I could just . . .
Suddenly, images filled my mind. I saw Shizuka with Zero but it didn't feel like Zero. No, it had to be someone else. Before I knew it, she had her hand around my neck, no Zero's neck. She whispered words I could not understand before plunging her fangs into the same soft pale skin I had only seconds ago. It felt as if I was being bitten by the very creatures he loathed. I felt his pain and desperation. I felt the anger he had towards us. Then everything went blank and only a small boy, curled up in fetal position and crying remained before being swallowed up by the darkest. I receded when his cries had died out and only heard the light pants that were passing through Zero's lips as he laid against the forest floor. Propping myself on top of him, I wiped away any blood that had escaped down my chin with my fingers before licking them clean, savoring the syrupy heat in my groin had dwindled but was still there. When my eyes rested over him once more I realized his eyes were dazed and half closed, as if he was sinking into unconsciousness. His tattoo had also caught my eye, its appearance changing fully for in the middle a crimson rose seemed to be growing, a small bud blossoming but remaining closed at the same time. The flower would bloom soon and when it did Zero Kiryuu would belong to me.
"What am I doing? . . . I'm claiming you. You are now mine." I answered his question from ealier with a small laugh as I watched his head droop to the side. Lilac eyes soon disappeared under their lids as the hunter slipped into unconsciousness his breathing returning to a normal pace. I carried his likmp body back to his bedroom and placed him on the mattress gently. As I let his head settle against the soft people, I noticed the moon light from his window hitting his pale skin just right. I was captured by how serene he looked in that moment, almost like an angel. I could almost kiss him . . . But not now, not yet. While I looked out the window in my bed that night, my mind replayed those images over and over again.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
"Uh . . . Kaname-sama?" I blinked at the call of my name, coming back to reality and recognizing the voice immediately. Yuki was in front of me, her eyes full of concern. "A-are you all right? T-the class is waiting for you."
"Are they really now?" I said, glancing straight ahead to realize she spoke the truth. The other Night Class students had stopped a few feet away. With a smile, I continued. "I apologize for causing the guardians any trouble then. You're doing such a fine job keeping this school in order as it is."
Yuki's face flushed almost immediately at the compliment and she insisted it was no problem, waving her hands in front of her body. I could almost laugh but I was distracted. I glanced over to the silver-head glaring at me, our eyes connecting for a moment. I took note of the fact his tattoo had been covered up with some bandages. Still smiling, I announced, "Well, I'll be on my way then."
I could still feel his eyes piercing into my back as I passed them, joining the rest of the Night Class.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
"That will be all, Takuma. You may leave now." I dismissed Takuma to his quarters for the night, wanting to spend time alone tonight. Two people had remained in my mind throughout the day; I could not go one second without thinking about them. It was almost annoying to be honest and caused me to lose my train of thought sometimes. Now that I was alone, I could think of nothing better to do than think about my plans for a future with one of them, if possible.
I have caused Yuki enough pain. It's time I let her make her own choices and travel down a path that would lead her to true happiness. She should not sacrifice herself for the good of others countless times. I understand now I have to let her go so that she can see that as well. It's time for me to say my goodbyes.
It's time for both of us to say our goodbyes. I was right at the time and I don't regret taking him as my partner even now. I only regret causing him pain, so much pain.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
"We've been through a lot, haven't we?" I ask him, lacing my fingers in his. Even I knew the answer to that question and he knew it too but of course he would never give me that answer. He was too good for me.
"I've been through worse."
-TBC-
Not a good note to end on but I'm lazy during vacation time. So a merry merry Christmas to you all! Season's Greetings and blah blah blah . . . A New Year is just around the corner and you all know what that means. New fanfiction! So to start this lovely year off (early as well), you finally get to see the first chapter to my new fanfiction True Desires (Lame title I know). It is the official re-write of So Wrong But So Right and I hope you guys stay interested in where this one might be going. Things may definitely be looking up . . . if you REVIEW! I'm not into hard criticism yet so be gentle with me.
This time we're going to be jumping from the past and present up until—You know what never mind, I give away too much. Shutting up now and hoping to see you next time!