Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Dangermouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori L'Amour and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. Like the story that Sabertooth Kitty wrote with celebrities, I'm sure this has some similarities, but instead of dealing with pop stars I'm delving off the deep end into classic seventies rock, and you might notice the similarities between the two bands that I am giving animal type names to, and I'm leaving it up to guess which two I'm poking fun at here J . It's all in fun, and in good humor. Hope it's not TOO much like the story Pop Culture Shock, but it will have a LOT of differences… J
"Just Push Pause, Or the Rock All Night Stops…"
By Trynia Merin
Part 1
****
It was the Wendesday after the date, and Danger Mouse had gone to escort Fifi and Lori as the two ladies shopped, and he left Penfold and Bagel to do the washing up. Penfold was stripping the sheets off the bed as Bagel rushed about trying to get the washing machine fired up. Both wearing aprons they wiped sweat off their brows and Penfold dashed in with an armload of sheets while Bagel shoved them into the churning washing machine.
"Phew, that's a load off my mind," Bagel gasped.
"Crikey, I'm right glad you're here to help me, because this would take all day without yer help," Penfold smiled as he helped her down from the stool.
"My pleasure. I do this sort of thing for Lori all the time, cause she's so tired when she comes back from training… what's next on the list?" Bagel asked as Penfold looked down at the list they'd made.
"All right, do the washing up, make the beds, iron DM's uniforms, and clean the kitchen floor…"
"I'll take the kitchen floor and the counters… I've already done one bathroom…" she panted.
"Cor great, and I've vacuumed the floors already. At this rate we'll be done before tea time!"
"High five," Bagel said, holding out her hand.
"Eh… oh right," Penfold laughed as he held out his hand and she slapped hers into it. He returned the American gesture and then noticed her hand was still in his.
"Let's get to work, this place wont' clean itself…"
"Right," Penfold nodded, turning away so she wouldn't see him blush. "Meet you in an hour for a break…"
***
Penfold had finished making the beds with fresh sheets by the time he waked to the kitchen and saw Bagel stocking the groceries on the top shelf. She was singing along to a jazz record placed in the CD player, and scrubbing the top counters. Penfold smiled and secretly started to reach into the fridge, noticing she was oblivious as he took out the Rabina. He reached for two clean glasses from the dishwasher, and poured water into both with ice, then poured the thick grape syrup into each glass. Stirring each he put them on a tray, and then leaned up to open the cookie jar and take out some of her chocolate chip cookies on a plate. He carried them to the kitchen table as Bagel stood up on the counter to dust the top shelf.
"Crikey, be careful!" Penfold squeaked as she stood on one toe to reach up.
"I'm okay," she said, but the countertop was slick.
"Look out!" Penfold cried as she slipped, and he rushed up to try and catch her.
"Yikes!" she shrieked as she slipped and toppled backwards. Just in the nick of time Penfold slid on the floor and caught her in his arms, toppling over.
"Ooof!" he grunted as he landed with her in his lap, and she lay there stunned, as she gasped and her heart stopped pounding.
"Oy, thanks," she gasped as she realized he had saved her from a nasty accident.
"Crumbs you have to be careful," he scolded. "Ye almost could have broken yer neck…"
"I know, I'm sorry,' she said, realizing he was only concerned about her. "And THANKS for um breaking my fall…"
"Cor, don't mention it," he blushed, and they looked at one another, realizing she was in his lap and they were both feeling very awkward at that moment.
"Were you… finished with the beds and linens yet?" she coughed, liking the feeling of closeness but knowing he must be as terribly shy as she was feeling.
"Um yes… and I well... was goin' t suggest we have a bite for tea…"
"Right," she nodded, jumping quickly off his lap, realizing he was very nervous still, even though from the look on his face he was enjoying this, but not quite sure of how to handle the feelings both were having. She had only been on 2 dates in her life, and she guessed Penfold had even less experience beyond holding hands in a movie theatre. IT was endearing and sweet to see the innocence in their budding friendship, which was slowly developing into something more deep.
"I made some of that fruit drink ye like, and some of those cracking great biccies you made…" he said as she leaned a hand down to help him up off the floor, and he let her. Still with her hand in his he led her to the kitchen table and sat her down, then hopped into the seat opposite. They quickly began to eat the cookies and wash them down with the fruit drink, both starving and thirsty from their efforts.
"Thanks, you're a dear," she said between mouthfuls of chocolate chip cookie. "What do you think we need to do next?"
"We're almost done," Penfold swallowed a mouthful of cookie and had to stop for a moment to wash the lump in his throat as he continued. "Excuse me… I think all that's left is the clothes in the dryer and then the telly in the front room…"
"I thought we already dusted that…"
"Crikey, it's almost time for Jake the Super Spy," Penfold said. "Let's go turn it on… you've got to see this weeks episode."
"Can we take the stuff in with us and eat it in there?" she said. "I mean we DID clean the place, and if any crumbs get on the floor I can knock them out with the sweeper before DM and the others get back."
"Cor, yer one step ahead, gel," Penfold smiled as he picked up the tray with their stuff and Bagel hopped down to grab the push sweeper. Both scurried off to the parlor and sat down on the circular sofa, opposite the sofa section where DM and the others would come up. Grabbing the remote, Bagel tracked through the stations as Penfold put their refreshments on the center table. He untied his apron and reached for hers as he dashed to hang them up then plop down next to her. Grabbing the plate of cookies they each took one and grasped their drinks while the opening credits came on.
A ferret with his guinea pig assistant tracked across the screen, and both of them watched in wrapped interest. Gulping as a bomb went off and the ferret Jake the Super Spy tried to run away, Penfold realized it was a bit too close to home, and whimpered a bit. Bagel reached for the remote and said, "Too scary? Why don't we see if there is something on the comedy channel…"
"Phew thank ye," he sighed with relief when she changed the channel to Whose Line is it anyway with Colin Mockingbird, and the other famous British comedians. Both of them started to laugh, cutting up and carrying on as the various games continued. This was what Penfold liked best, someone who understood and didn't ridicule his nervous nature, because they themselves were prone to a bit of complaining. Despite the fact Bagel was from across the pond, they really did have a lot of common interests, and Bagel admired the fact that even though Penfold could be cowardly, he still had a sense of politeness and manners that not every American boy she'd met did. IT was endearing, and drew out her maternal instincts to want to protect and comfort him. Perhaps he wasn't all that different then the boys that her mom and dad said would make a nice husband. She wondered if that were even possible, and blushed at the thought.
After all he was an excellent cook, and he cleaned well. Something that was to be valued in her family, for even though the men and women worked, they often shared in housework. She glanced at the calendar and sighed deeply, realizing it was Rosh Hashanah, and mumbled to herself. This would be the time she'd gather with her family, and she looked sadly at the wall.
"Ere, what's wrong then?" Penfold asked, noticing her sadness.
"Oh, just wishing I was with my family right now. I mean… it is a holiday… and all… and well…"
"You mean that Jewish New Year thing?" Penfold asked her slowly. "I'm not as dim as people make me out to be…"
"You know about Rosh Hashanah?" she asked him slowly.
"Well DM does have some fellow agents who are um… Jewish mind ye. And I know some people aren't up front about that sort of thing. Take DM and me… we both are private about what we believe. And if it's any consolation, Agent 12 and Agent 4 both go to the services. I was thinking if ye'd like me to contact them… you could have some company…"
"That's very sweet of you…" she smiled, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Erm, I called them and they'd be happy to take you with them to um… what was it…"
"Shabbat," Bagel said, leaping up. "But what will you do?"
"Oh 'Eck I'll just wait for DM to get back," Penfold smiled. "You go on, and have a nice time…"
"Thanks again," she said, giving him a hug, and he tried not to feel faint as he returned it. She felt nice there with her head resting on his shoulder and the smell of her perfume in his nose. He was nervous as heck, but he tried not to pass out for her sake.
"Bagel.. What does… shalom mean?"
"It's like aloha, it means peace, hello and goodbye," she smiled. "And you're such a dear friend…"
"Er yes… friends," he stammered.
She drew back and held his hands, smiling. Penfold gave a goofy smile and blushed, turning away. The tension built up between them again as they still took each other's hands and averted their gases, both looking at some imaginary spot on the floor. "I guess, I should be going… when are they coming?"
"Um… at er... sundown is that right?"
"That's right. Wow, you really HAVE been doing your research," she smiled.
"Least I can do for a… friend," he stammered. "Makin her feel welcome and all… Me Auntie taught me to treat company right…"
"You're very sweet," Bagel said, hoping she would embarrass him or anything he was so shy. "And I'm very glad about that…"
"Go on," he said with a dismissive shake of his head.
Penfold could hear a small voice in his head, and it was the voice of Danger Mouse who was secretly encouraging him to steal the moment. Don't hang about… But chief what about your whole thing of being British… Well you ARE alone with her, and sometimes it doesn't hurt for the gentleman to make the first move. Give her a kiss you blighter! You're alone, nobody watching… what would it hurt?
Kiss him you idiot, Lori's voice said in bagel's head. What have you got to lose? I mean come on now!
But what if he faints, what if he throws up, what if I throw up? She wondered. This isn't South Bark, now! Lori's voice insisted. Kiss the boy!
He felt her hand let go of one of his, and he took the chance to brush a lock of hair from her face that had slipped in front of her glasses, and she turned quickly, their gaze meeting for a moment before they lost their nerve. Both seemed to know what the other was thinking at that moment and both blushed as he shut his eyes, and their glasses collided.
"Oh crumbs," he mumbled.
"No it's all right," she stammered, and quickly pushed up her glasses onto her forehead and closed the distance, both with their knees shaking. He swallowed and closed his eyes too, grabbing her hands tightly as he quickly pecked her on the lips. She did the same, and they both felt the speeding up of their heart at that second.
"Crikey," he gasped when he drew back. "That was right… nice…"
"Oy gevalt," she whispered, looking at him nervously. "You're not going to faint on me are you…"
"My knees are shaking… I'm scared," he whispered. "It's like I'm scared but… ooh heck…"
"I know what you mean," she said, as they gave each other a comforting hug, but were both dancing on the edge of a sensation that frightened them and thrilled them at the same time. She glanced over his shoulder and looked at the clock, as he started to try and catch his breath, mumbling "Oh Crumbs, oh Crikey oh heck," into her shoulder.
"There's nothing to be scared, of," she shushed him, patting him on the back and hugging him before they drew away and he was blushing profusely.
"Heck I know but why am I terrified? And likin it at the same time like?" he stammered.
Bagel leaned forward quickly and turned her head so she could reach him without their glasses colliding. Caught off guard again he almost fainted when her arms went around him and he felt her mouth on his. A warm sensation came over him and he suddenly realized he wasn't scared, because all she was doing was giving him a soft gentle kiss. He found he liked the sensation and his arms went around her waist, pulling her closer.
"Cor," he gasped when they both surfaced for breath.
"There that wasn't so bad was it…"
"Crikey, I think I liked it," he said slowly. "IT doesn't half give me a funny tingly feeling all over…"
"Me too," she blushed and gave him a hug again as they simply enjoyed the closeness of the friendly embrace again. Penfold realized it was much different then a family kiss on the cheek, and he decided to try again since she'd made the first move. When she drew back with another smiled he leaned close and gaveher a kiss this time. So caught up in it were they that they didn't realize the sound of the elevator.
"Oh heck!" Penfold cried as they leapt apart, and Bagel groaned at the rotten timing as Danger Mouse and Fifi with Lori came up on the sofa.
"Penfold, we're back," said DM. "And the apartment looks wonderful. You two make a splendid team…"
"Er um, DM, back so soon?" Penfold stammered, as Bagel flushed and hid behind him.
"Yes, are you all right, little friend…"
"I have to get the wash…" Bagel whispered.
"Err that's right, she has to get the wash, and oh my look at the time I need to finish the ironing… oh dear," Penfold stammered, his face flushing bright red as he rushed off.
"Weird," Lori mumbled as she watched them both race away, with blushes on their faces.
"Hmm, I've seen him excitable, but this is… rather strange," DM pondered as he took Fifi's coat and she smiled slowly.
"Mon Coeur, don't' you see it?" she whispered giving him a slight nudge. "I do believe they are in amour…"
"OH go on," DM laughed.
"It's obvious Mon belle amour," she whispered to him, as he hung up their coats and she caught him in an embrace and a soft kiss on the cheek. He returned it and gave her a small soft hug.
"I'll just be in my room," Lori smiled, guessing they wanted time alone.
"Let me help you hang up your purchases," Fifi smiled as she took the bags from Danger Mouse and whispered, "Why don't you have a mouse to hamster talk with him and find out if he has any questions…"
"Fifi," he groaned.
"You are his chief and he does look up to you… and he might be nervous…" she nodded.
"All right, Mon belle ami," he whispered and kissed her softly. She smiled and walked off to join Lori.
Danger Mouse wandered into the kitchen as the girls were looking at their purchases. He saw Penfold rapidly washing the dishes, trying to look busy. Slowly he said, "Penfold, do you have anything you want to ask me?"
"Er what?" he asked, almost dropping the plates as he unloaded the dishwasher. "Why do you ask, Chief?"
"I couldn't help but notice… you seem rather skittish whenever you are in the company of Bagel, and we happen to walk in on you and her…"
"Nothing really," Penfold blushed.
"Oh come now," DM said softly. "It doesn't take a detective world class agent to see that you are infatuated with the gel…"
"I am not!" Penfold blushed. "What does infatuated mean?"
"Smitten," DM said with a slow smile. "Penfold it's quite all right, but you must know we have to be careful about dating while we are on duty…"
"Cor DM I know that… but I can't stop getting this… tingly feeling all over me when I'm around her…" he blurted out, then blushed.
"It's quite all right," he reassured Penfold, putting his hand on his assistant's shoulder. "I'm not angry at all. I think it's healthy to want to be spending time with a gel. But I do want you to feel that if there is anything you wish to ask me… like certain questions…"
"If That's what yer referring to," Penfold blushed, mortified. "I know all about THAT! And I also don't plan on doin any such thing till I'm right proper married!"
"Good," DM sighed with relief. "I'm glad to see you have adopted some sense of propriety…"
"Cor DM I'm not going to marry the gel, I just… well…"
"I'm sorry to embarrass you, little friend," DM sighed. "I just wanted to make certain you were comfortable in the idea that I have no objections to you dating Bagel. But I don't want it to interfere with our jobs…"
"I'll try DM…" he nodded slowly. "But I am… smitten with her…"
"First time for everything old fellow,' DM smiled slowly. "And I won't tell. If you promise NOT to let things slip about Fifi and me…"
"You've got a deal," Penfold said as DM shook his hand and patted him on the back. Both of them walked out after DM helped him put the dishes away, and they passed the bedroom Lori was inside, and heard the sounds of the girls oohing and aahing over the purchases Lori made. They could even hear Bagel's squeals of delight as Fifi brought out some of the new makeup she had tried with Lori.
Staring at each other, Penfold shrugged and Danger Mouse laughed. Despite the fact that they were capable agents, there were still big differences between them and the 'fair sex'. Penfold was about to glance in when DM stopped him.
"I doubt the gels would want us to crash their party," he smiled. Then a loud strain of rock music spilled throughout the room, and they both winced. However it wasn't harsh and clanging, just a good old rock sound that had the wailing guitar leads of three or four decades past.
"What the?" they looked at one another as they rushed out into the parlor and saw Lori sitting on the sofa, having gotten out of her room, and staring at the telly in great interest.
***
Lori slowly tuned on the TV till she saw the UK Music Channel, where a special This Week in Rock was playing. She watched raptly at the news report of four various creatures were posing for a poster. They were a premiere act from the seventies, called the Smooches, and they were known for their crazy pyro shows and wild onstage antics. But now other bands like Crazy Klown Gang and Sliptide were also copying their techniques. But they were the originals, and Lori was a huge and devoted diehard fan.
The bass player shot out his long tongue. Called Gila Scalessim, he was the spit drooling, fire breathing leader of the band, and his dragon costume and crazy antics caught the heart and pulse of many members. The lizard was all craze and fire, and a regular skirt chaser.
The lead singer and fancy haired fellow was a white mouse with soulful brown eyes, a bushy black curly hairdo, and a body that wouldn't die. His name was Saulus Miceman, and was better known to the hordes of fans in the Smoocher's Squad as Saul Stann. A thousand animal girls drooled as he strutted and swept his tail on stage. Clad in black spandex, he had the "million dollar tail' that they all dreamed of having wrapped around their waist.
The drummer was a black cat with white tuxedo front that was named Petey Catt, and was one of the premiere drummers of rock and roll. He grinned as he held up his drumsticks and posed with the next Smooch Squad fan that walked up giggling as Gila wagged his tongue and Saul and Petey posed.
Their newest member was Tommy Brayer, a skinny sheep who easily fit into the role of the Alien, his face smeared with gold glitter and long wooly locks. He replaced the one original member of the band who had also been known as the alien, Race Brayley, a sheep with a head full of cotton wool. All four were New York City natives, and their last leg of their tour with Spit and the classic band Byrdsmythe was a class act that summer.
Lori watched the Smooches on television, watching them with admiration. From their black and silver costumes and garish face paint, she knew many people though that they were satanic or something in nature. However they were not to be judged by appearance, and as Danger Mouse heard the song "Shout it ALOUD," he winced as she drooled over Saul Stann.
"Oh good what a TAIL!" she shrieked as she drooled over him at the video footage.
"Good GRIEF what are you on about," DM rolled his eyes.
"Oh DM, sorry," she blushed.
"The Smooches?" DM groaned. "Really…"
"I'm sorry… but they are one of the premiere bands in rock and roll. The radical rodents… we took our idea of the face paint from them… and every girl wanted a piece of Saul Stann…"
"Saul Stann?" he groaned. "Oh really, you're too old to drool over a lot of forty something chaps in tights and crazy clown faces!"
"Well Saul Stann is Jewish," Bagel said as she waltzed in.
"Aren't they… evil?" Penfold squeaked as he hid behind a statue.
"Nope. If they were, why would Petey Katt have crosses on his drums? And both Gila and Saul are Jewish…" said Lori as she watched the footage of the pyro, bombs and other explosives. At the end of the song Thor Thundergod, Gila held a large torch before his lips, glaring at the crowd from a black mask of paint. He spat upwards, and a huge fireball shot forth.
"CRIKEY!" Penfold cried as he leapt into DM's arms.
"Good grief…" DM mumbled as he put Penfold down.
"And they're on tour, in Europe, at Castle Donnington," Lori said. "I just HAVE to get tickets…"
"Good luck on that," Bagel said. "They're sold out!"
"Darn," Lori mumbled.
"Thank heaven for that," Penfold whispered as DM sighed and laughed. The alarm suddenly shut through the Mayfair pillar-box, and the agents perked up their ears as Colonel K replaced the Smooches video.
"Ah DM, m6… I have a mission for you…"
"What is it Colonel?" asked DM.
"Well, it seems the Baron has threatened to kidnap one of the big name bands in the industry, unless we give him 12 million pounds in sterling by tonight. He's threatened to cut the power on the big concert tonight, and create chaos from the thousands of fans filing into London to see them tonight…"
"Good grief," DM sighed. "Not that rock is my thing, but if he does that…"
"The riot would be so big by the Byrdsmyth Air force. That's what they call Byrdsmyth fans and the Smooch squad… the Smooches fan…" Lori gasped. "They'd cause a huge riot!"
"Too right, agent M6. Which is why I'm assigning one of you to investigate Greenback's plan, and the other team to guard Byrdsmythe and that other band…"
"I'll volunteer to guard the bands!" Lori piped in.
"Good," Dm nodded. "I'll check out greenback…"
"Good show. I've set you up with all access passes… and Greenback's latest sighting was near Wembly field. Better gets cracking… the people at Donnington are counting on both of you to succeed. If they stop this tour, there will be worldwide rioting!"
"Come on, Penfold," DM said.
"Let's go, Bagel," Lori smiled as Penfold and Bagel exchanged a glance, and both shyly looked at the other being dragged off by their counterparts. DM and Penfold jumped onto the sofa, and slid down to the Mark III while Lori and Bagel shifted the bookcase, and slid down the slide into the small hanger that contained the Space hopper and the Gail 6. Simultaneously the curb slid up and the Mark III roared off on the street, while the Gail 6 shot up out of the side of the post box, both in opposite directions.