It was another day after what happened...

just another day...

We, the group sent by the Hokage, failed to rescue Sasuke

I can't cry anymore

the tears are all used up

Everyday people look at my sadly in pity and some still in fear.

I'm used to it though

It's been my whole life

It's been my whole being

It's been my whole goal...

Everyday, people would look at me and then I would make a funny face, scaring them away, then I would laugh. The laughter wasn't the same though, it felt strained-- it was-- I hope no one could tell. Then ,by my side, Sakura Haruno would start to ask if I was alright, and I would cut her off, saying I was hungry with my sheepish grin. Then, she used to scold me, but now she would offer to pay and I would just grin widely.

I could tell she saw the pain in my heart, and I could see it in hers. We were very odd ..'friends' to one another. We supported each other, kept each other sane. I didn't tell her everything, and I could tell that she didn't tell me everything either. But it didn't matter. Her presence somehow soothed the pain and grief I felt in my heart, and I her. The pain, grief, and most of all.. betrayal. Though I don't entirely blame Sasuke for it, even though some of my soul does, I blame Itachi. I blame fate. Most of all, I blame myself.

I blame myself for not rescuing him. Myself for not being a good friend. And myself for not looking after him. Sakura saw through this, I could easily tell, but she said not a word. And for that, I am grateful. After what happened, I was silent for a week, but Sakura had it worse. I had been through this for my whole life, I had been shunned on for my whole life, I had been hated for my whole life. I was used to this sadness, this pain. She had a happy life, with sadness but not as much, so she wasn't used to the pain. The horrible pain that seemed to press against your heart, as if having a lot of weight against your very being.

But even as she suffered, she would she paid frequent visits to me, seeing if I was alright-- despite the pain she herself had hidden inside.

Each time she arrived at my doorstep, knocking the door, I would open it. And guess what I saw? I never saw the flaming bright fire that was in Sakura's emerald eyes. I never saw the warm smile that was on her face. No... I saw the opposite. Worse than opposite. Her eyes was wary with black circles under it by the obviously countless nights of no sleep. Her eyes were a dull green, looking almost hollow with darkness. Her hair was a mess, no more simmering silky hair she used to have in order to compete with Ino. Her clothes where ragged, but still. But still she came to see me, asking if I was alright. That was the last time I had cried. Cried for having such a good friend- that inspite of her own pain, she come to comfort me.

After that week, I started smiling. Not a true smile, no, those days where long gone. Those days where team 7 would go on missions, complain about how easy it was, or maybe it was just me complaining... I didn't remember. It was already one year, and everyone had moved on. Even Kakashi, or so we thought, he never made jokes anymore, maybe light jokes, but no more smiling happily. Ino, I could tell, was not as sad as us- she moved on- but was constantly worried about Sakura, even though she tried to hide it. I smiled, even though sometimes it was strained. I smiled for everyone, wanting them to not be as sad. I smiled for them all, but mostly, for myself. I did it to give myself strength. I told myself I wasn't weak. But I don't know the truth behind that opinion.

The first time Sakura saw my smile, I could tell she was surprised, but after a small pause, warmly smiled back and murmured- "Thank you, Naruto." Then she had cried. I was worried, I had got down to comfort her, asking her what was wrong. She replied it was nothing, and that that was probably be the last time she cried. "You're so strong, Naruto." She didn't look at me when she said it, as if she was looking far away. But she smiled. "Thank you...." She muttered, then shut her eyes, crying at her fullest. I stayed silent, just patting her back and staying with her throughout the whole afternoon as she cried. She cried all her pain away. She depended on me.

But who could I depend on? Many depended on me, but who could I myself, depend on? I had few, if not none. I constantly asked myself that, but then told myself, I wouldn't let the ones that depended on me down again. I already had once by failing to bring back Sasuke. But he was a lost cause. His soul was already long gone the day his family died, he died along with it. It was overtaken by revenge and the great lust for power. I would always tell myself that it wasn't true, that he could still be saved. But deep inside, I knew the truth.

He soul had died.

Days after endless days passed and I went through it all with a pretend smile and soft jokes on Ramen. Though truthfully, I had lost my appetite. It reminded me too much. But I'm lucky. Very lucky. I have great friends that care for me, Iruka-sensei and Sakura-chan. I'm so grateful.

But it wasn't the same. It could never be the same. It WOULD never be the same.

---

I heard the door ring, looking at the door to my apartment. I stared at it from the couch, grinning slightly- or as much as I could. Was it Sakura? Or Iruka? I slowly got up, but felt drained of energy. Grief in the mind can cause the lack of useful energy. I faltered slightly, but moved towards to door, placing my hand around the handle. I didn't turn it, I waited. I was tired, so tired, but then with a sigh- I opened the door.

"Sakura-" I paused, it wasn't the person I was expecting. But more like LEAST expecting- it was the Hokage. "Tsunade s-sama.." I muttered, gathering my thoughts together. That seemed like a harder thing to do as hours and days passed. Minutes had became hours, hours to days, days to weeks and weeks to months, then to years, but still my energy felt drained.

Tsunade just sighed at my condition.

"I have a favor to ask of you, Naruto. This may be the very last favor I would ever ask of you."

Before I got to reply, she spoke again.

"You are greatly aware that Sasuke is in Orochimaru's hands. We can't loose him, with Sasuke's power- Orochimaru would be near invincible. We've got a lead on where they are residing in currently. You're a dear friend- or ally- to him, I'm asking you to take 4 people and go there. I can't rist too many people at this time, nor at anytime. We don't know what Orochimaru is planning." Tsunade paused. "I believe some certain sand-nins are available to help." Tsunade smirked.

I just stared at her. Couldn't she tell I wasn't ready? Couldn't she tell that I couldn't face him yet? I wasn't anywhere near prepared to face Sasuke again.

"Sure." What had I said? What COULD I say? It was the HOKAGE asking me, no way in hell could I say no. And if I had said no, she would just argue and I didn't want to go through the trouble.

The first four people that came to mind was- Shikamaru, Kankuro, Temari, and especially- Gaara.

----

Gaara of the desert, Kankuro, Temari, Shikamaru, and I stood at Tsunade's office. Shikamaru was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and his eyes closed, much like Sasuke used to do.. my eyes softened at this. The sand-nins stood straight and looked... official. I just slunched like I used to do. It had been... around... 54 minutes of waiting for the Hokage. What was taking her so long? Surely it wasn't too hard for her to be ON TIME for ONCE. Even though I really shouldn't say so as because I never am either.. but who cares? I guess I do since I'm thinking it, but who cares!! .. along with the waiting please.

After around 2 minutes, I cracked.

"WHAT IS TAKING THAT WOMAN!!!" I shouted loudly, my eyes into thin lines. Everyone looked at me wierdly, then sighed. "W-What.." I muttered, scrunching my nose in mockery. "HMPH!" I said as loud as I could, then was about to say something until I was cut off.

"Temper, Temper." A woman's voice said. Tsunade I assumed immediately.

----

Magical Fox: SOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING THE OTHER ONES!! SO SORRY FOR MAKING A NEW FIC!! SO SORRY!!! DO NOT GET MAD AT ME! sniff I promised that I would update the last one, I tried! I seriously TRIED like 5 times! But I have a writer block at all my other fics!! ((except the FF9 one, but no one's updating. I have the next chapter ready- and it's very long but... NO REVIEWS! ;;))

Other Fox: Why am I called 'other?' ... anywho, this fic won't remain in 1st person view, it'll turn to 3rd person view unless you WANT us to continue in 1st person. All depends on the reviews. This story isn't that good, We both know, but yet we will try our best to make it better.

Disclaimer: I'm always at the end.. Naruto belongs to Misashi Kishimoto and NOT us, but this plot is ours, how ever little!