Chapter 1: The Problem
She snuggled further into the furs, trying to ignore the sounds of morning washing through the camp. She buried her face in the halo of blonde hair scattered across the pillow. She breathed deeply, smiling at the delicate smell of the pine flowers that Clarke used in her soap. Her arms tightened around the warm body, and she pretended for a few moments that they could just stay there content and together without the rest of the camp intruding.
She felt the body turn in her arms, but she stubbornly kept her eyes shut, not wanting to open them and acknowledge that it was time to leave her warm haven. Her lips twitched, and she feigned sleep, as she felt the soft lips brush against her nose and then gently whisper across her eyelids. She felt the lips pull back, and she waited patiently for the kiss that was hers.
And then something wet and slimy slid across her cheek.
"Klark!" she yelped as she jerked back from the wet tongue lapping across her cheek. She felt the sticky spittle immediately start drying, and she tried not to grimace, knowing it would just encourage the blonde.
She quickly wiped at her cheek, as she rolled away from the laughing blonde.
"Serves you right, faker!" crowed the blonde as she disentangled herself from the furs.
"Come one, it's time to get up. Breakfast is almost ready!" And with that the blonde bounced across the room giving Lexa an eyeful of pale, naked flesh. She sat up and smiled, gently resigned to the fact that she could not keep Clarke from breakfast.
She chuckled to herself as she watched Clarke quickly wash and then pull on her jeans and top that had seen better days. She pulled her blue jacket on top, and quickly snapped her daggers in place. The blonde turned to Lexa, arching one eyebrow, leering slightly at the long limbs slipping out of the soft cotton shorts.
"Mmmmm," hummed the blonde. As distracting as the Commander was, her stomach was growling, and some beasts couldn't be denied.
"Come on, Lexa, hurry." She whined slightly as she shuffled from foot to foot. She knew the hunters had brought in fresh birds last night, and she didn't want to miss out.
Lexa grumped a little and quickly finished dressing, silently amused at how serious the blonde was about her breakfast, and how she always raced to be first at the community table. More often than not she was racing against Lincoln, who could pack it away. Between the two of them, it was any wonder there was ever any food left for anyone else.
Once finished dressing, they quickly departed making their way through the busy camp.
Lexa breathed deeply, humming quietly under her breath, but quickly catching herself. It wouldn't do for Heda to be caught humming. She flicked her eyes to her companion, but she was too focused on making her way to the long tables and benches that were in the center of the camp lined around giant cooking fires. She smiled slightly, amused at the determined Skai Prisa who made a beeline for the nearest table.
She took a deep breath again, allowing herself a small smile. There was a small nip in the air. The leaves were changing color fading into brown and bursting into golds and reds. The Skaikru had already survived their first winter on earth and were preparing with the Trikru for their second.
Her smile widened slightly, for it had been 18 months since the Mountain had fallen, ten months since Clarke had returned from her sojourn into the world, 8 months since the Skaikru had officially joined with the Trikru, four months since Clarke had made her way into Lexa's bed, and nine days since Clarke had first whispered "I love you."
Lexa and Clarke made their way to the table, nodding to friends and clansmen as they situated themselves at the table, pushing between warm bodies to reach the food. Most gave Clarke a wide berth, as they knew how unforgiving she could be at the table.
She sat at the long bench with her animated companion, absentmindedly picking at her food, only half listening to the words flowing around her as her people laughed and ate their fill. She couldn't help but think of what had happened nine days earlier.
Clarke had only whispered it once, and she wondered if it even counted. Did "I love you," really count when Clarke had been writhing and begging beneath her with Lexa's fingers buried deeply inside of her as she sucked and nipped at her neck? Did it count when her eyes had been closed and the sweat lightly pooled in the valley between her breasts? Did it count when Clarke's words had been followed by garbled mutterings and her pulling desperately at Lexa's head, arching her body into her? Did it count when she probably would have said anything to get Lexa to fuck her harder?
Lexa sighed quietly. Maybe it didn't count. But every once in a while, out of the corner of her eye, she would catch the Skai Prisa looking at her almost wistfully and unsure, her lips parted as if she were about to say something. And every time Lexa turned and gazed at those blue eyes, they quickly flickered away.
She didn't know if it counted, maybe it didn't matter; after all she hadn't said it to the blonde. And sometimes when she looked at her, she felt an ache deep in her bones slowly slide up into her flesh and take root in her rib cage. It hurt when she breathed, and it flickered and shook inside her. But whenever she heard that laugh float through the air and felt the warmth of her Skai Prisa's eyes embrace her; the ache slowly faded. But it never quite left.
She sighed again, and then looked up quickly when she felt the nudge at her side.
"Why so glum, Commander?"
"Glum?" Asked the commander as she looked at the young mechanic sitting on her right, who was busily stacking her pieces of fruit in to a pyramid.
"Yeah, you know…glum. Blue. Down in the dumps."
"Blue? I'm not blue. And uh…what are dumps?" She cocked her head at Raven. She liked the girl, she was strong and loyal, but she often said things she didn't understand. Sometimes she worried about her. Blue? Whoever heard of a blue person?
Raven chuckled as she let the berries fall from her fingers, "I mean you look kind of sad. Everything ok in paradise?"
"Paradise?" Now she was really confused. And worried. Perhaps the mechanic had eaten some of the bad berries.
Raven tried not to roll her eyes, as she turned to look fully at Lexa. She scootched back on the wooden bench and grabbed her left leg, slowly swinging it over the side of the bench so she could straddle it. She leaned her right arm on the table, propping her chin on her fist and gazed at the Commander.
"I mean, is everything ok between you and Clarke?"
Ah so that was what she meant. She shook her head slightly and turned to look at Raven. Blue must refer to a feeling, and not a color. These Skaikru were strange.
"Um." She hesitated, pursing her lips, her eyes flickering back and forth between Raven's dark ones and the plate in front of her. Perhaps…perhaps she could ask Raven? After all, Raven was one of Clarke's closest friends. She could be trusted. They had come a long way from Finn.
She glanced around quickly noting that some people had finally finished their breakfast and were wandering off to their duties. She glanced to her left at the blonde who was currently engaged in a whispered conversation with Octavia. Her lips twitched at their muffled whispers punctuated by small giggles. That probably wasn't good. She would have to keep an eye on them, especially Octavia. She had mischievous streak, and the two of them together could be as worrying as a wounded pauna. Lexa had been a hapless victim of theirs more than once.
She gestured at Raven to wait and leaned forward brushing a kiss across the golden crown. "Clarke, I need to speak to Raven about something uh…mechanical."
Clarke looked up and smiled into bright green eyes. "Ok. Octavia and I are going down to the runs to check out the new puppies."
Lexa tried to smother her smile. Clarke and Octavia had taken instantly to training the dogs they were trying to domesticate. This new litter was promising, not as wild, and more willing to interact with people.
She stood up and reached down and quickly helped Raven to her feet and then stepped back.
"Ok, I will meet you later for sword training." She grabbed Raven and pulled her along with her towards Raven's hut that held all the wires and metal things. She wasn't really sure what things they were, but Raven was always playing with them and telling her to just wait, that soon Raven would blow her mind. She worried about that too. She wasn't sure what Raven meant, and this mind blowing didn't sound very safe.
"Whoa, Commander. Slow down. Keep your pants on!" Muttered the mechanic as she tried not to stumble as she trailed after the woman who strode confidently and hurriedly towards the mechanic's domain.
Lexa came to an abrupt stop and turned, barely containing her wince as Raven stumbled and crashed into her, banging her forehead against her nose. She harrumphed quietly, and grasped Raven's arms to steady her.
"Keep my pants on? But my pants are on, Raven." She sighed exasperatedly. "Why would I take them off? And what does that have to do with slowing down?!" She asked heatedly as she reached up and rubbed her nose, trying to ignore the stinging in her eyes.
Raven rubbed her forehead, sure it would leave a red mark from the Commander's decidedly hard nose. Who knew a nose could poke so hard? She rolled her eyes.
"It's just a saying, Commander. I basically meant, slow down. Gimp here. Remember?"
Lexa didn't need Raven to translate what that meant. She narrowed her eyes at the mechanic taking in the small red mark on her forehead that almost matched the faded red of her jacket. She refused to look down at the pieces of metal that encircled the girl's left leg.
"Do not say such things. You are strong. And it bothers Clarke when you say such things." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared slightly at Raven, before quickly looking away.
Raven smirked, "Oh. Well, if it bothers Clarke, than I won't say it."
"Good," huffed Lexa, "now come on." And Lexa turned to continue on her way to the mechanic's hut, albeit at a slower pace.
Raven bumped her shoulder lightly against Lexa's arm. "Thank you," she murmured quietly.
Lexa pretended not to hear, but her lips twitched slightly, and for a brief moment she allowed the brunette's shoulder to linger against her arm, before moving ahead.