Welcome to my new short story!
Legal: I own nothing but the idea.
Very important things to know before reading:
*This is not a Clare story (I know shocker isn't it?) she's in grade 8 in this story. She might be mentioned, maybe even make an appearance but don't expect it.
*This roughly takes place in season 6 (I guess) but I've changed some things (of course).
*Marco went to Sweden after grad to be with Dylan
*Jay never dated or anything else with Manny nor will he. He works at Tony's and has his own place
*Ellie is going to school in Vancouver
*Emma is dating Sean and Spinner is assistant manager of The Dot where Peter works both are in the Studz and Spinner is dating Jane, Peter is dating Darcy
*Holly J works at The Dot
*Owen, Bianca and Fitz are in grade 9 at DeGrassi & Johnny, Lucas, Bruce are in grade 11
*Paige's parents moved to Montreal when her father's company transferred him
*Matt is back in Toronto
Ch. 1 Someday Morning I Felt Afraid
(PAIGE)
This is not how my life was supposed to be. Things were not supposed to turn out this way, not for me, dropping out of my dream school before even completing the first semseter, returning to Toronto a failure. I had graduated and been accepted to Banting, my mom's alma mater and one of the toughest business schools in Canada. I was sure I could handle it, I was sure I could handle anything. I'd gotten through Dylan coming out and the backlash he received for doing so, I'd gotten through Dean's rape and the trial where he got off. I got through a nasty breakup with Spinner after he left me for Slutty Santos. I'd gotten through all of it with my head held high because I am Paige Rose Michalchuk. Okay so maybe smashing up Dean's car with Spinner's wasn't the most dignified thing to do but under the circumstances I think I handled it pretty damn well. Right now though I could barely hold my head up, my life had crumbled just totally crumbled and while it felt like it happened fast it had been building for a while I suppose.
I turn onto DeGrassi street and look down at the school. I couldn't wait to get out of high school but now I wish I could turn back the clock and be there again. Queen of the school dating Spinner or Alex, not sure where Alex is but I know Spinner is there right now since he didn't graduate last year. I don't want him to see me, I don't want anyone to see me and know that I'm back, to know that I couldn't hack it in the real world. I drive past the school and The Dot to downtown and just keep driving, despite the cold temperature there's no snow yet. Queen street is busy but in the red light district it's dead, except for a few adult shops nothing is open down here right now. I park in the parking lot of some random strip club, way in the back, and turn off the car. Hitting my steering wheel in frustration and anger then bursting into tears.
I'm not sure how long I sit there crying in my car but I don't stop until my passenger door opens and someone gets in. I gasp and look over to see a man with dark hair. He looks a little familiar and I wipe my tears away so I can see him clearly.
"Matt?"
"I knew that was you," he grins. I fell for that grin not so long ago. "So," he says wiping my tears, "you going to tell me what happened to bring tears to your eyes?"
"I failed Matt, I couldn't handle the pressure, everything just fell apart I got booted out for one tiny fire in my dorm room, and a lot of failing, maybe a freak out or two. Now I have nowhere to live, no job and no prospects, I'm so scared I don't know what I'm going to do. I have no one," I tell my ex breaking down in front of him, yet as much as I didn't want to see my old friends I don't really care what Matt thinks of me.
"What about your parents?" He inquires.
"They moved to Montreal, my dad's job transferred him a few months ago. And they're leaving next week for Sweden to visit Dylan and Marco. I don't want them to know, they were so proud of me when I got accepted to Banting, my mom went to Banting. I've always been their little princess I can't tell them I failed. I know they'll find out eventually I'm just not ready to have them know yet."
"Well you can stay with me if you need a place to crash for a while and if you need a job the club is looking for a new waitress," Matt offers pointing to the club I'm parked at. I look over at the club now, metal cut outs of naked women line the sides, it's called Club Carnal how blatant can you get? "It's not that bad, I work there as a bartender I know the manager I'm sure he'll give you the job. The pay kind of sucks but the tips are always good, I can usually pull between $100 and $200 a night just in tips and the waitresses make more than that. It's good money and if you're staying with me I won't even charge you rent, you can help out in other ways."
There's a part of my mind that is disgusted by the lecherous way he says the last part. That part of me is reviled, that part of me wants to kick him out of the car for the mere suggestion that I lower myself to working in a strip club, even as a waitress. That last little shred of me that still has any pride and is holding onto whatever self-worth I have left. The rest of me doesn't realize it or doesn't care. I've fallen so low I might as well hit rock bottom now.
"Okay," I nod.
"Come on I'll introduce you to the owner and then you can go to my place, I promise it's better than the last apartment you saw me in," Matt says.
"I'm not going in there looking like this hang on," I tell him. I may be sliding down a steep hill to rock bottom but I'm going to look damn good while doing it. I grab my purse and put on some makeup, freshening up until you can't tell I was ever even crying. A little foundation, blush and some cherry lipstick does the trick. I take the ponytail from my hair and let it fall over my shoulders. "Okay let's go do this," I say and Matt smiles.
"You always did have a flare for the dramatic," Matt says and we get out of the car. I follow him into the closed club but there are some employees here getting the club ready to open. "Hey Boss I found you're new waitress this is Paige Michalchuk," Matt introduces me to a tall blonde, muscular man but with a thin build and really sharp features. He looks a little German and I know he's German when he talks and I hear the slight remnants of an accent.
"Pleasure, take off your coat please," he requests while I take my coat off. He doesn't look me in the eyes now he's looking over my body. I guess he likes what he sees because he grins a little bigger. "You have any experience waitressing?"
"Uh not waitressing but I worked at a movie theatre and I ran several events at my high school," I reply. In truth I worked at The Dot for about a minute and truly sucked at waitressing but I'm hoping it will be different here. I mean this place is nothing like The Dot and I won't be serving milkshakes and fries to a bunch of teenagers and college students, just alcohol to a bunch of horny guys.
"It's pretty much the same, you'll be wearing less and delivering drinks and appetizers. There's a three drink minimum so make sure everyone reaches it. Can you start tonight?"
"Uh sure," I nod.
"Good, I'll give you your schedule tonight return at six," Karl tells me.
"I'm going to walk her out," Matt says and Karl nods. Matt puts his hand at my back and walks me out to my car again. "Here's the key to my place, make yourself at home. Cottonwood Apartments, two blocks up Yonge and then right on Wellseley East apartment 1204. I'll be here when you get back," Matt says and then he kisses me. I don't really kiss him back but I allow him to kiss me. Then he turns and goes back to the club and I get in the car driving to his apartment.
I find the apartment easily and unlock the door, it's not great but it's still a million times better than the last apartment I saw him in. That tiny studio with a leak from the apartment above, the one he was embarrassed to show me. This is a one bedroom, I see the washroom from here, it's still pretty small but it's far better than the last and it's clean, well relatively clean his clothes are strewn about and some old pizza boxes and other food wrappers but that's fairly typical for a bachelor. I lie my coat over the back of the sofa, set down my suitcases but he didn't say it was a one bedroom and I don't know where I'm sleeping. He doesn't have much to eat either but I find some crackers and cheese and I relax for a while before heading back to the club.
I'm really not thrilled about working in a strip club but I suppose things are actually looking up. I left Banting this morning with no hopes and no prospects at least now I have a place to live and a job. I park at the back of the club which seems to be employee parking and go through the door marked employee entrance.
"You must be the new waitress," a girl smiles at me, "Matt's girl."
"Uh yeah I'm Paige," I reply. I've been back in town all of five hours, saw Matt two hours ago and I'm already Matt's girl?!
"I'm Justine, Matt and Karl asked me to show you around," she says extending her hand and I shake it.
"Don't I need to fill out paperwork or something?" I question.
"Nope it's a strictly cash business we only accept cash no cards and no checks. We do have what are sort of like gift cards known as Carnal Cards. They're like reloadable debit cards, customers buy them at the bar for any amount of $50 and up. They can use them to buy stuff from the bar but not to tip any of us. We get paid in cash, most of these kinds of clubs are the same they operate just over the line of what's legal, reporting just enough for it never to be suspicious. The dancers get ready in there and you'll need something to wear, come on wardrobe is in here," she says taking me into the dressing room. Suddenly there's a lot of naked or nearly naked women around me. "Girl's this is Paige she's the new waitress," Justine tells them and all the naked women say hi to me. "Here waitresses, and sometimes the dancers, wear stuff from here you can pick out more than one and rotate the guys like that," she says pointing to a rack of lingerie and I just stare at it. "Don't worry it's all clean, here this is a good one to wear on your first night and it looks like your size," she comments holding something out to me and I take it.
It looks a little like a French Maid costume. I do mean a little like, it's a spaghetti strap corset garter dress, the black straps have white ruffles on the inside. The dress has white ruffles running down each side and a pink bow in the middle. There is a little white apron over the skirt and garters to connect to stockings. There's also a ruffle at the bottom and two little pink bows just above where the garters attach. It also has a choker, black bordered by small white ruffles and with a pink bow.
"It's a little more modest than most of what we have, stockings in the drawer over there and shoes down there. I'll be at the bar when you're dressed," Justine says and leaves through a door leading to the club.
Justine walks out and I start to undress, I was never that modest and after dating Alex I don't even think twice before undressing in front of everyone. I get the corset dress on, with a little help from a dancer named Misty, and then stockings and shoes, black heels so I'm sure my feet are going to be in pain by the end of the night. The dancers all seem nice, at least the ones that are here. Once I'm dressed I go out the bar, it's open now, there's already a dancer on stage and a few of the men actually look away from the dancer to watch me walk across the club to the bar.
"You look so hot," Matt grins, "that outfit really suits you."
"I told you it was good, so you ready to start?" Justine asks and I nod. "You'll shadow me tonight and then be on your own tomorrow night, so let's get started."
The first thing I learn is that this is not a hands-off club, because at the first table we come to one of the men slaps Justine on the ass. They order a round of beers and we head to the bar.
"So they can touch you?" I ask her but keep my voice down.
"Well they can't grab your breasts, pull you onto their lap or kiss you really just smack or grab your ass. The bartenders keep an eye on us and there are four bouncers, Ian, Klaus, Christof and Leon. The customers can touch the dancers a little more but still no grabbing. You can ignore it or make a little noise or comment to flirt with them; you get bigger tips that way."
"Act like I enjoy being fondled by gross horny men and get better tips. Joy this will be fun. It's only temporary at least. Just until something better comes along. Something I actually want to do. I can do this though, just look hot pretend like I enjoy the men flirting with me and I doubt they'll even care that I got their orders wrong," I think to myself as we grab the beers and then head back to the table.
"Hey Jus who's this hot thing?" One of the men asks; given the familiar nickname he calls her he must be a regular.
"Gentlemen this is Paige it's her first day I'm training her."
"Well welcome Paige," the same guy says and then smacks my ass.
"Okay Paige don't snap his wrist you will not fail at this too," I pep talk myself and make a flirty giggle, the guys all grin and the man hands me $5.
That's pretty much how the rest of the night goes, we don't really get breaks we just sort of take them when we can, including eating when we can. We get one of the other girls to handle our tables and grab some food from the bar. Matt, among others, remark on my outfit all night long. Matt and I are both off a little after 2:30, the club closes at 2 and then there's a few closing procedures. I change back into my clothes and put on my jacket. Matt is waiting for me just outside the employee entrance, he's got his coat on and a scarf.
"Ready to go home?" Matt asks as we walk out.
He means his apartment but it is my home now too I suppose, at least for a while. Last night I was sleeping in a dorm at a prestigious university tonight I will sleep in a run down one bedroom in Old Town.
"Yeah, home."
(JAY)
"Tony I'm going to lunch," I tell my boss having just finished the car I was working on.
"Okay," he nods.
I go into the locker room and take off my coveralls and wash up, grabbing my wallet, cell and car keys I go through the back to my car. I always have lunch at The Dot, sometimes my lunch coincides with DeGrassi's and I see Spin and the others. Spin also has a spare after lunch so I usually see him anyway unless I take my lunch early in the day. He's the assistant manager now and he's repeating his senior year. He's also in a band with some other kids from DeGrassi, another one not Downtown Sasquatch. DeGrassi lunch is almost over so when I get to The Dot the only person I know in the café is Spinner.
"Hey," he nods to me when I sit down at his table and then the waitress comes to get my order.
"How's things at DeGrassi?" I ask Spin when the waitress leaves.
"Same as always, Studz are playing at Above the Dot this weekend," he says.
"Cool how are things with you and Jane?"
"Great, having my own place rocks. What happened with you and Thea was it?"
"That didn't work out; our one date was awful she was hot but a ditz."
"You know you're never going to find another Alex," Spin comments as the waitress brings my food.
"Yeah and she turned out to be a lesbian so it's probably a good thing," I remind him.
"You have to admit her and Paige were hot together."
"Smokin' but I didn't get to join in," I remark and Spinner hits my leg.
We talk some more while he does homework and I eat lunch. I leave before him since I have to get back to the garage, waving to Spinner as I walk out. I return to work and finish my shift, after clocking out I head back to my apartment. I just moved into this one a couple months ago, it's much nicer than my old one. Still a one bedroom but I have a little deck, more space and it's not run down like my old one.
I microwave some dinner and watch TV for a bit. After talking with Spinner about Alex this afternoon I haven't been able to stop think about her. After she and Paige split and they graduated Alex hit the road, she's totally just vanished into thin air, no one has heard from her. I've tried looking for her a couple of times but with no luck. After dinner I decide to go out but instead of going to a bar I head to the ravine. My old haunt one that I keep returning to because I always feel comfortable here.
"Hey Jay," Lucas nods when he sees me.
"Yo we got good beer tonight?" I question going to the cooler, Lucas is sitting on the picnic table near the cooler.
"Do we ever have good beer? It's cold at least and Bruce stole some rum," Lucas says.
"Gross I hate rum," I reply grabbing the beer I open it and almost sit down but something stops me.
"I said get off me Aaron," Bianca pretty much screams. She's in grade nine this year but she's been coming here for a couple of years, mostly with Ron-Ron or Johnny. I set down my beer and walk over to where Bianca's shriek came from. Lucas stays at the table but Owen and Fitz are running over. Both of them are in grade nine at DeGrassi this year and Bianca's best friends. Fitz is in Johnny's gang and a lot like me at his age, Owen plays sports which keeps him from getting into too much trouble, usually anyway. Aron dropped out of Lakehurst two years ago and goes wherever he can sell his drugs, last year he got picked up for selling acid, I thought he was still in jail but apparently not.
"You alright B?" Owen questions helping her up while Fitz and I pin Aaron to the ground.
"Yeah fine but I need a drink," she says.
"Hey Jay still bumming around here?" Aaron smiles at me still on the ground.
"Yeah but I have me a job and an apartment, when did you get out?"
"Yesterday," he says.
"Just because you haven't seen a girl in many months don't go grabbing jailbait like Bianca. Go find your action somewhere else," I tell him.
"Touch B again I'll break your fucking hand," Fitz threatens.
We help him up and then he leaves, Fitz grins at me and I go back to my beer and Lucas. I stay at the ravine for a couple of hours drinking beers and talking with people, mostly Lucas and Johnny. I head home at midnight because I have to be up at six to go to work. I shower and go right to sleep, waking up the next morning with my alarm.
"Hey Jay it's Friday you want to come to Carnal with us tonight?" Josh asks when I walk into the locker room.
"Yeah sure," I nod. The Carnal Club is a local strip club a few of the guys like to go to. It's a pretty average strip club and I've only been a couple of times but it's something to do on a Friday night.
"I went last night they got this hot new waitress, wait until you see her."
(PAIGE)
"You didn't unpack," Matt remarks when we come into the apartment after leaving the club. We take off our winter coats and he hangs them in the hall closet.
"Yeah I wasn't sure where to put anything or where I'd be sleeping," I tell him.
"I thought you'd share the bed with me, we've shared a bed before in a much worse apartment than this. I'll clear some space for you in the morning you look pretty beat. Was your first night that bad?" Matt asks going to the kitchen and getting two beers from the fridge for us.
"No it was fine I'm just not used to so much walking in those kind of heels," I reply.
"It will get easier, you can get insoles and your own pair of shoes all the waitresses have them," Matt tells me as we sit on the sofa.
"Yeah I'll look for something tomorrow, use the tips I made tonight."
"You know I'm glad I found you today, I think it was fate that you parked outside the club I work at. Besides the fact that you moved in I've been wanting to tell you for a long time that I'm sorry. Sorry for how things ended between us, for hurting you."
"I didn't like how things ended between us either but it was probably for the best. Thanks though and thanks for letting me stay here and getting me the job," I say.
Matt smiles and grabs a little box on the table, he takes out a joint and lights it. He takes a drag and then holds it out for me, I know I shouldn't and I'm already drinking a beer but after the day I've had I just don't care. I take it and take a drag handing it back to Matt. We smoke the whole joint and now I can't stop laughing. Our layers of clothing begin to come off; my shoes come off, then my sweater while Matt is already in nothing but jeans. When I finish my beer he takes my hand and pulls me into the bedroom, he begins kissing my neck and taking off my jeans. I'm kind of in the mood but I really just want to sleep now. I don't stop him though, I don't know why really maybe I feel like I owe him, maybe all my self-worth is gone now after only one night of working in a strip club or maybe I'm too tired and too high to speak up. Whatever the case Matt has sex with me, it's not like I don't enjoy it too but I don't climax but he did wear a condom which was good. When he's done he pretty much just rolls off and falls asleep. It takes me longer but I do eventually fall asleep too.
We sleep late but we don't work until six, after eating breakfast I drive out to Scarborough to look for shoes, just to be sure I won't run into anyone I know. I find a pair after about an hour of shopping, thick heels so they'll be easier to walk on. Then I get insoles so they won't hurt my feet like the other shoes. I get some lunch and then drive back to Matt's apartment. He doesn't have a car since his last one died so he's been taking the bus, taxis or getting rides from other people at the club.
"Did you find shoes you like?" Matt asks when I walk in. He's on the sofa and smoking another joint.
"Yeah I did, I'm going to shower before we leave for work," I tell him as I hang my winter coat in the hall closet.
"Cool, I made some space in the bedroom, closet and the dresser for you so you can unpack. This is your new home after all," Matt says.
"Thanks," I smile.
I start to walk past him but he grabs my arm and pulls me down to kiss him. I give him a quick kiss and then go into the washroom to shower. After a nice long shower I put some of my stuff away before we leave for work. I'm on my own tonight but I can do it, last night we had a double section tonight I'm responsible for only six tables. I get through the first couple of hours with only a couple of problems, minor ones the customers don't seem to mind when I flirt with them. One of my tables, the one farthest from the stage, has remained empty so far.
"You got someone at table fourteen," Matt tells me after I return from taking a round of beers to another table. I look over to see someone with dark hair sitting at the table so I walk over, pad in hand and ready to get his order.
"What'll you…" I freeze when I see who is at the table.
"Paige," Jay exclaims, "you're the new waitress?!"
Update Monday from right here and including Paige telling Jay why she's back.