~ Incomplete ~

-this is how I think and how I came up with the fanfic (:-
Reasons why Elena chose Damon. (Idiot) She was sired to Damon and feelings with them developed. (I mean they had sex!) She pushed Stefan away. They confronted each other. Stefan said," You haven't seen me when I'm not in love with you" of course she believes this because one: Stefan has always been an honest person and she thinks it's best if he moves on. And two: because she will always believe Stefan. More sire bond shit. No humanity Elena, Stefan helps Elena turn it on and she takes his comfort. (Of course) Elena's feelings come back; she is still dealing with matters at hand and doesn't really think about her love life. She practically chooses Stefan in a way, because that's what this season has been about, the cure. Stefan would do anything for her and give Elena the cure and same with Elena. Which is why she gave Stefan the cure? Blah blah Stefan listens to Elena confesses her love to Damon. He gets upset and leaves. One point: when Elena confesses her love to Stefan for the first time. It is true and honest and the best choice. Stefan and Elena exchange a loving look and then kiss a loving kiss, and 'make love' for the first time. When Elena does this with Damon he just runs to her and kisses her with lust and they don't have sex.(Notice i call it sex and not making love) Because they already have had sex, which just ruins the moment. And Elena leaves to fight with Katherine, which is when Elena has a flash back of STEFAN and her.

Second point: Elena in that stupid little head of hers (who can blame her she is only young) still believes that Stefan does not love her. He really does do a lot to show her that. But because she is back to her normal self-Elena she thinks of the worst and settles for second best(Damon) she doesn't realize that Stefan would be hurt, because why would he? If he does not love her anymore. Elena is wrong.

Third point: maybe Elena realized that she really did hurt Stefan, and thought it would be best if Stefan didn't have her. She maybe thought it would be easier for him to move on. Like Stefan always says, that Elena doesn't deserve him and that he is bad for her. Maybe Elena thinks Stefan doesn't deserve her, and that she is bad for him. (Of course I would agree with Elena on this i mean she has been a bitch to him) but don't all us teenagers say that we went worth it and we second for second best? Truth is we should try to achieve for our best. But if I'm wrong and if she really loves Damon (hahahagahahahagahahagagagagahahagahaha) and that they are the endgame: one: I will be sooooo pissed I might kill somebody!and two: I will always have the past seasons of stelena, and know that they are and always will be a epic love. This is what the tvd does to me! End of rant! ;)

~Incomplete chapter 1~

Sometimes what you want isn't always what you get...Even today I'm not exactly sure when everything ended. I wanted to cry, feel anger, grief. Too feel. Just like I used to. A whole life denying myself. Searching in silence, for someone like me. A whole life looking for an answer. Without finding any. But I forgot the most essential thing. It was me, all along. You can't deny yourself forever. ~

My eyes snap open and I open my mouth to fill my lungs with air, soon to understand the only thing rushing in them is the water of the lake that I was thrown into. I try to move my arms but they are confined by cold metallic walls. I kick my feet and still it's no use...

~ I don't understand how a person can you tell you so many lies and not feel bad about it... ~

My eyes flash open again, for what seems like the millionth time and I see nothing but black immenseness. Nothing. I have no idea how long I have been down here. There is no way to know. When you're at the bottom of water, where no sunlight can reach, where there is no other sounds and surroundings but water, where no can hear your calls for help, how are you supposed to figure it out? After being in here for so long, from the amount of times I have lost breath, I have accepted the fact that I am going to be a tad bit insane. How can you not? Being alone, in a locked box, in the dark, going in and out of consciousness over and over and over, for god knows how long, you start to lose your mind.

I have no apprehension of time whatsoever but I figured out that a short while after I was pushed in here, I started to go insane. I would be wiped out cold and all of the sudden I would think that I hear her voice, or see her smile. I would think she was here to save me, only to be hit with a hard dose of reality...I know she won't come and save me, why would she? She choose him, she couldn't care less about me or my feelings.

And then I would frantically wake up and the water would fill my lungs again. Repeating the dreadful process once more. It takes a toll on you, when this happens more times than you can count. I… I'm losing it again. My brain is going fuzzy and I can't think straight. I can't fight it. It's an unwilling automatic reflex to just give up, now. I try my best to think of one thing that will keep me calm. Anything. Give me serenity, peace… happiness.

So I think of her.

Should I post more? What do you think? I know this is a bit short but more is coming! i will also be posting this fanfiction on my instagram epiclove_stelena