My Brother
A Star Wars Fan Fiction by hidddenhorcrux.
Author's Note: 3rd Fanfic! Please review, and constructive criticism is so very greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Disclaimer: All that you recognize is George Lucas's.
I can't bear it.
I can't bear it any longer. I've lost you Anakin. And you're not coming back.
'Oh Master Kenobi! I have Miss Padme on board, yes, we should get away from this dreadful place,' said the droid that Anakin had built.
I pat him on the shoulder, more of not being able to say anything than letting the droid know that I heard what he said.
I watch as we leave this planet. The pain in my heart is so unbearable. If I had the choice, I would never have fought Anakin, but he had to be stopped. My shoulders slump in defeat. I can't bear to look at the red hot lava of Mustafar down below. It only reminds me more of the fate that I had left Anakin to deal with. I put my head down in my hands. I don't want to think anymore.
Padme is seriously injured. I have to get her to the Medical Centre as soon as possible. I use my remaining strength to carry her down the ramp of the ship. I ignored the searing pain my arms. It's nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I barely listen as Senator Organa rush us both to the Med Center.
It was like as if I lost all sense of… well, everything. People rushed past me in a blur. I can see their mouths moving, but I don't hear a thing. All I kept hearing was a buzzing in my ears. My mind kept playing that same scene, I keep seeing that same face, and I keep hearing that same voice…
'I HATE YOU!'
I can't bear it. He was my brother. He was everything I had, the closest thing I had to a family ever since Qui-Gon. I should have killed him. I know I should have. But I can't. I can't imagine myself even doing it. It was unthinkable, to kill one's own brother.
I am selfish. I know the Republic were to pay for my actions in letting him live. But I can't ever possibly bring myself to. I'd much sooner cut off my own arm, than to use that same lightsabre to kill Anakin.
I'm to blame, I know it. I didn't train him as well as Qui-Gon believed I would, as I thought I could. I should have stopped him from being trained when I knew he was dangerous.
He was the chosen one. He turned his back on us.
I watch, as I see the droids doing their medical tests on Padme. And I stand there, watching, as I feel that same burden on my shoulders get heavier and heavier. I glare at the glass, as if willing for it all to stop. I glare at it so hard, I'm sure I could have burnt a hole in the glass. I can't lose Padme. Padme was the only thing, the only person, I have left of the old Republic, of my old life. O f Anakin.
'You're with him! You brought him here to kill me!'
I see one of the droids coming out of the room, and I steer myself out of this reverie, but I can't bring myself to listen to Padme's fate.
'… For reasons we can't explain. We're losing her.'
The only words that register in mind were the last three words. No. No, that can't be true.
'She's dying?'
'We don't know why. She has lost the will to live. We have to operate quickly if we are to save the babies.'
Anakin broke her heart. She loved him, but he was too blind and power-hungry to see it for himself. If only he could see his wife, the one he loved, in this position now.
'Babies?'
'She's carrying twins,' the droid stated as if it were obvious.
Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I can't be losing her. She's all I have left. It's as if I'm living a nightmare. I'm losing everything I ever had, all I ever cared about. One by one, they're slipping through my fingers, and I can't stop them from falling. I clench my fists hard and I hold my breath for as long as I could. The pressure from my fists brought a strange sensation down my body, but it does nothing to distract me from the dark and empty future that I have to face. Alone, and without my brother.
I catch Yoda watching me from the corner of his eye. I look at him in the face, as if I were trying to confirm all that had been happening. His face didn't change. It was real.
The Med droid comes out again and tells us that Padme is soon giving birth. I bend my head low and stare at the ground and I walk into the room. Someone has to be there for Padme, as her husband was not here.
I try my best to be there for her, like the way Anakin would have done. I know I'm not the same, but I try to be a source of comfort for her. Hearing her screams is too much. As much as I try to deny it, I know that she will not last for long. I know the pain she is feeling in her heart. I just wish I knew how to stop it. I have to be controlled. I have to do it, for Padme.
Her screams grew increasingly louder, and soon enough, the Med droid hands me a small wrinkled, purple-looking child.
'It's a boy,' I managed to choke out.
'Luke,' She says breathlessly.
She screams again, and I feel helpless. Oh, I wish I could help. The Med Droid hands me another wailing baby.
'It's a girl,' I said, and I actually feel a small ray of happiness as I cradle the small child in my hands.
'Leia,' She answers me again.
I tear my eyes away from Padme slowly, and I turned to look behind me. Senator Organa was looking at me apprehensively, and he looked a little on edge. Yoda, on the other hand, was calm with a grim look set on his face as he watched me. I turn back to Padme.
She opens her mouth. She looks as if she wants to say something, but can't. Finally, she takes a deep breath and says the words she's been wanting to say.
'Obi-Wan, there's good in him… I know…'
I make an attempt to say something, to tell her something, but my mouth gapes blankly, and my throat feels too dry.
'There's still…'
I stand there, unable to stop anything, and I see her close her eyes one last time.
It was like having another fresh hot knife pierce through my heart again. I can't believe it. I've lost two of the people I care most about in one day. I can't ignore the pain this time. I know it shows clearly on my face, and I can't hide it.
It's too much. I don't want to feel anymore. I want to just die and join Padme. I don't know what to do. I've never felt pain as much as this. I've lost Padme, and I've lost Anakin to Vader, to the Dark Side.
If only I could bring them back. I want Anakin to be holding his children, grinning down at Padme in that same lop-sided smile of his. I want to see them arguing over their names, like any other couples. I want to see Anakin struggle to keep his children quiet, trying to convince them to stop crying. I don't want to be here, carrying the children of the people I have just lost. I don't want any of this.
I want to convince myself that what Padme said is true, but I have seen the sith eyes of Anakin before he caught fire. I wish what Padme said was true. But he's gone. Anakin died, and from his ashes came Vader.
I don't know how long I have been standing here. I look down at the small being in my arms and control myself. I set a look of grim determination on my face before turning to face Organa and Master Yoda.
No, I will not lose Luke and Leia the way I lost Anakin. I will make sure they will not be lured into the Dark Side as Anakin was.
I have not lost you yet Anakin. You still live in your children.
You are my brother Anakin. You will always be.