Creating the New Generation
Six months after the Battle of Hogwarts, the Ministry of Magic banned the use of all contraceptives. They wanted us to go out and multiply…and multiply we did. When we could no longer use anything muggle or non to keep from procreating, nearly half of the people between the ages of 16 and 30 became parents-to-be. At first, the Ministry didn't have a huge problem with this because people were out there creating mini-wizards…children who would come to possess magic and keep our world alive, but of course, things started getting out of hand and the Ministry told us that within the year we would either have to make the decision to marry the person whom we were 'with' in some sense or that the government would be assigning us a partner with whom we would be bonded for life and whom we would have to start a family with.
The masses didn't take kindly to the idea of the government having so much control, but it was the only rational thing to do, especially since the war had left us all hurting and needing comfort that could be found between a set of sheets. People started coming round and things got a little crazy with all of the wizarding population of the UK vying for the affections of the person they felt would complete them. It was a bit of chaos as some people were already pregnant from one night stands or relationships that were starting to crumble.
Hermione Granger, one of the golden trio, was already engaged to Ron Weasley, a second trio member and my younger brother, and they were expecting a little girl. Harry Potter, the man who had slayed Voldemort's evil ass, had his eye on my sister, Ginny, and was trying to work up the courage to ask her to be his wife or at least start going steady again. Bill and Fleur had been pregnant since a month before the battle and were a month away from producing my parent's first grandchild. Charlie was dating several lasses and had gotten one pregnant, Luna Lovegood of all people. He had no idea if they were going to stay together or not, but he defiantly wanted to see where they were going, besides becoming parents of a baby boy.
Percy had asked Penelope Clearwater to marry him as soon as the edict came out, to the surprise of no one, and though they weren't expecting, she had said yes. My guess is that they hadn't even gone beyond heated snogging, which explained her demand for a quick union. They had set the date for next month the night that they had agreed to get hitched, much to my mother's disappointment. We were all still healing, though and so that kept her mind off of the darker corners of our life.
My twin, Fred, had nearly been killed in battle and would have definitely not come out alive if not for Granger's quick thinking. She had pulled out her old time turner and had managed to pull Fred away from the wall just in time, which we were all pleased about. We couldn't save everyone, of course, but I was simply grateful that Fred had been spared. It had taken quite a bit of begging on my part, though, which I'm not ashamed to admit. Freddie had been seeing Angelina Johnson before the war, but she had changed so much and become so serious about everything around her that he said they had called things off mutually. He had been shagging Verity since returning to the land of the living and as far as I know Angie is expecting to give birth to the spawn of Stan Shunpike in seven months.
Tonks and Lupin had been among the casualties and their son Teddy was living with Andromeda at the Burrow since the war. My mother wouldn't have it any other way and quite frankly I found that a good thing. Teddy was getting curious about skirts though, which suggested he was already developing into a strapping young ladykiller much like the rest of us blokes were trying to be.
Draco Malfoy had been engaged to some pureblood named Astoria Greengrass for a month, but not before it came out that he had put his seed inside Katie Bell. She was off the market, though she had her eye on Lee. He didn't quite know what to make of her after finding out that she had slept with Malfoy. He was much more interested in Cho Chang. Cho, on the other hand, was dating Marcus Flint, much to Lee's annoyance.
Neville Longbottom had managed to score at least once and had subsequently impregnated Romilda Vane, a Ravenclaw who had claimed to be drunk when it happened. They were expecting a boy, though she was skeptical about staying with Neville, poor chap. Dean Thomas had hooked up with Parvati Patil after the battle and they were expecting as well. There was a huge controversy about their announcement in the Daily Prophet…wanted to name their child 'Hogwarts.' I have no idea how that's going to work out. The little girl will be scarred for life if named after a school…
Lavender Brown had managed to convince Seamus Finnigan to propose to her shortly after the edict, though she was clearly not pregnant. She wore skimpier clothing than when she was at school and most people think she's a bit of a tart, but the Irishman seems to like her. More power to him. Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zambini are going at it like rabbits and it's little wonder that they're pregnant with a son. Parkinson's parents are practically forcing Zambini to marry her. He isn't exceptionally happy as he just wants a good shag out of life.
Alicia Spinnet and Wood have eloped and there are rumors about a possible birth within a few months as well. Nothing is confirmed in that case, though. Eloise Midgen, some Hufflepuff I vaguely remember has caused quite a scandal by claiming that she is simultaneously pregnant by Marcus Belby and the late Severus Snape. Once the little bastards emerge she plans on calling them Severus and Perverus no matter the paternity, which Belby is none too pleased about. Daft bird, that one is…
Michael Corner is apparently the father of Leanne Wolf's baby and they're contemplating marriage, though things aren't looking so great for Leanne's friend Marietta Edgecomb. Edgecomb had been involved with Justin Flinch-Flechey since before the war and is full of his son, Garland, but he is engaged to Hannah Abbott now. Hannah's baby-daddy Ernie MacMillan is pissed and has plans to woo Marietta as a form of revenge.
Millicent Bulstrode and Gregory Goyle were married already and Vincent Crabbe was scoping out the prospects such as Megan Jones, a Hufflepuff that I don't particularly know. Crabbe was rumored to have conceived a bastard daughter, Cecille, born of a muggle woman named Polly Elway, which he denies steadfastly. Roger Davies is getting on quite nicely with Padma Patil these days and I expect there will be either a marriage or a pregnancy soon. Davies has a child called Ensel with Flint's sister Ursula.
Perigrine Derrick and Melody Capras, a half-blood Slytherin are expecting a daughter. Denver Bole and Roxanne Hooch have been dating on and off for three years, though there is talk of her being pregnant by Derrick. Nothing has yet been confirmed, though if she doesn't come out with a decent tan, people will start to talk…
Dennis Creevy, the remaining annoying chap has scored big with Gabrielle Delacour and she's being kept inside most days. He may marry her as it's obvious she's with child. Theodore Knott, the silent Slytherin that's rumored to have a giant cock, is pushing his little swimmers into several ladies and so far three have turned up with his buns in their ovens. Susan Bones is expecting a girl, Daphne Greengrass is giving him a boy, and Morwena Krum, sister of the famous quidditch player Viktor is preggo with one each…twins are probably the one he'll go for and the other girls will be left to marry off whomever will have them.
For my part, I've managed to keep my tools in the chest. I had some great opportunities that I kicked myself for, but as most of the wizarding world is all crazy over babies now, I'm glad I said no. I've really just been coasting. There's a woman out there somewhere that I want and that will have me, I suppose, but I have yet to find her…no rush as of now…I, George Weasley am the only sane person left in this crazy post-Hogwarts whirlwind.