Having finally completed the final season of the walking dead game, it has been one hell of a ride, emotional ups and downs. I've always loved Clementine from the very first season, all the way to the end. What I did not expect was to seriously love AJ too. The second season's writing wasn't the best as it wasn't consistent, and it left a lot of questions for us players than answers.
I guess that is neither here nor there, but what I do want to say is the final season brings a dynamic between Clementine and AJ that we felt in the first season between Clementine and Lee. There are an awful lot of parallels, such as pushing the pitch fork through the door handles to keep the walkers out. Clementine had to help close the doors in the scene where Lee had to decide whether he is saving Doug, or Carley.
This is going to be a one shot, set after Clementine saves AJ from the McCarroll ranch (fort McCarroll in the game), around 6 months before they make it to Ericsson Board school . They both went through a lot in that place, and this is where we find out what AJ went through.
Theme song for this one shot is – Imagine Dragons - Demons
Night Terrors
It was hot, too hot, a fiery red blazing in front of her, smoke filling the air. Wheezing softly, she stood up looking around, everything dark, with a fiery orange hue. The heat was unbearable, sweat forming on her brow immediately.
"AJ?" Clementine gasped quietly, unable to see a thing, a feeling of dread filling every molecule of her being.
Bang!
The gunshot was followed by a harrowing neigh, a twisted figure of a horse appearing in front of the teenager, evaporating into the smoke no sooner than it had appeared. The feeling of dread turning to pure fear, unable to lift her arms, it took everything she had to keep breathing.
Focus, breathe, come on, in, out, move!
She focused on the ground, trying her best to zone out and regain her composure, inhaling sharply and exhaling slowly.
Good, that's it, we got this.
No sooner had she regained her composure, the sounds ofsomeone hyperventilating reached her ears, slowly getting louder. She closed her eyes tightly, unable to move, fear had taken her completely.
No, no, no, this isn't happening, get a grip.
A familiar harrowing scream filled the air, her heart pounding out of her chest, she knew what was about to come and she was not ready. Her breathing erratic and the adrenaline burning through her system at an incalculable pace.
No, not this, no.
She had no choice but to open her eyes, and there it was again. The crumpled body of a woman, a hole through her cheek, on the floor right in front of her.
"It's your fault," a voice called out from the smoke, a voice she recognised, but at the same time, a one she could not place.
"I had no choice," she answered, her heart racing, reaching for her pistol, nothing was there. She went to take out her knife, it was also gone.
"You have to believe me," she pleaded. Tears were already rolling down her face. She didn't want to shoot the woman, but she would have died had she not. Then what would have become of AJ? She would have failed him, and that was not an option.
A figure was walking towards her, she could hear the footsteps, but the smoke was too thick.
"Please," she whimpered, as the person slowly came into view, her heart sinking.
AJ appeared in front of her, covered head to toe in blood, his eyes white, vacant, he'd turned.
"No!" she screamed, sweat pouring down her face, as she bolted upright, the blanket she had on was soaked, her breathing rapid and shallow.
"You had a bad dream again" AJ stated, staring out the window.
"You need to be more quiet," he said softly, his brown eyes looking over to the teenager. He looked down to the gun he held, it was loaded, ready to go if they needed it; hopefully they didn't.
"You said noise gets the walkers to come," he continued, looking back out the window.
"I know I did," Clementine replied, calming her breathing as best she could, wiping her face with a towel nearby. She walked over to AJ and hugged him gently, "goofball," she said softly squeezing her eyes shut.
"I'm AJ," he pouted, "not goofball."
"You'll always be goofball to me," Clementine chuckled softly, relief washing over her.
"What were you dreaming of?" he asked suddenly, turning to Clementine and looking up into her amber orbs.
"C'mon AJ," Clementine sighed, "I don't wanna talk about it," she said, ruffling his curly hair.
"I dream about it too," he said, his voice breaking ever so slightly, his eyes still fixed on hers.
A soft sigh erupted from the young girl, letting go of the hug, looking at her hat on the table for a moment.
"You," she started, hesitating, "are they bad?" she asked, pulling up a chair, patting her knee.
AJ didn't hesitate at jumping on her knee, he liked that. Any time he could talk with Clementine was worth it, she knew so much.
"Yeah, I think they are," he admitted, "like, it makes me feel bad," he said, looking down at his feet, kicking them out now and again.
"Want to tell me about it?" she asked, guessing that something was on his mind. A voice in the back of her head telling her it was about the ranch, her whole body tensing up at the thought.
"Only if you tell me what you dreamt about," he bargained, a small grin on his face, looking up at Clementine. Her smile had dropped, replaced by a worried expression, her shoulders hunching up.
His grin dropped too, seeing he might have upset her, "only if you wanna," he corrected.
Clementine grinned, if only a weak one, "alright, you got a bargain, mister," she said bopping his nose with her finger. This was going to be hard on them both, but she wanted him to feel comfortable. There's nothing wrong with being silly once in a while, especially now.
"I have a deal for you too," she offered, her grin turning to a smile.
"Okay," AJ accepted, pleased that Clementine was smiling, he liked it when she was happy. It made him feel relaxed, a feeling they didn't often get.
"Alright then, we don't talk about this again," she said sternly, AJ's smile dropping slightly.
"Hey, that's not fair," he said, a frown forming as he looked at the teenager.
"Do we have a deal?" she asked, her smile weakening. She hated it when AJ frowned, it always meant he was upset. All she ever wanted was for him to be happy, for them to have a home, so they can stop running. She was tired, not just of running, but of everything.
It had been a long time now since she got AJ away from that place, but she was suffering for it. She did what she had to do to get him back, but it affected her. The nightmares were becoming more frequent, and each time, AJ would get that little bit closer to her. One of these times, he will be close enough to bite her, and then what?
It wasn't worth thinking about. She knew it was just a dream, but what could it all mean? She didn't know, but here she was about to talk to AJ about his nightmares, when she couldn't make sense of her own.
If she could make it sound like she knew what she was talking about this once, maybe he wouldn't notice, and she wouldn't have to keep faking it either, because it would only be this once.
AJ's frown quickly disappeared, his smile returning, "deal," he said, a sigh of relief exiting Clementine.
"Alright then," she said nervously, "you go first," she urged.
AJ's smile disappeared, dropping his head, and staring at his hands for a moment.
"It always starts off the same," he said, turning to look up at Clementine, "it's dark, really dark, and there's gunshots going off everywhere, and I'm real scared," he said.
"There's boys and girls on the floor, all covered in blood. I think," he sighed, bouncing his leg for a moment.
"They are gone," he said shakily, wringing his hands and staring at the floor for a few seconds.
"You don't have to do this if you don't want to AJ," Clementine assures, "it sure looked bad when I got there," she confessed.
"I gotta," AJ said, his fists balling up for a moment. "It just makes me so mad," he admitted, "why do I gotta feel bad?" he asked.
She could hear the hurt in his voice, a realisation hitting her like a freight train, "only you made it, right?"
AJ's eyes went wide as he looked up sharply, "how did you know?" he asked, genuinely curious, maybe Clementine knew more than he thought. She always knew what to do too, always managing to get them out of trouble, no matter how bad things got. He trusted her more than anything else in the world.
"Well, you said they were gone, and you are here with me now" she said softly not wanting to tell AJ the real reason why she knew. I've been there too, Kiddo.
"Sure you want to keep going?" she asked, just to be sure.
"Yeah," he replied, exhaling sharply.
He paused for a few moments, gathering his thoughts, before continuing, "she's there on the floor," he said his face frowning, "the lady that took care of me," he clarified, his voice shaky.
Clementine's heart dropped. She hated seeing AJ like this. She never wanted him to be as scared as he had been when she found him in the locker. He meant the world to her, and it was painful to think that she had been forced to give him up. I know, goofball, I know.
"How could they just kill her like that, like she was nothing," he raged, his fists balled up again, temper flaring. "She saved me," he broke, "it's why I'm here, alive," he said, his voice breaking badly.
Clementine tried her best to stay calm, but her heart was racing, her palms sweaty. She couldn't bare to see him like this, filled with anger, and hurt. She felt she had failed him badly, but he always managed to take her pain away with each smile. She needed him as much as he needed her. I'm so sorry.
"I'd been grabbed, by one of them, they were taking kids for their own, that they hadn't already killed" he spat, his anger starting to get the better of him, "and she shot the man who was trying to take me," he said, "he'd grabbed me from behind, when I was running," he continued, his anger simmering down for a moment.
"I don't like that anymore," he confessed.
"So don't try and sneak up on you, gotcha," Clementine noted, trying to take in anything but the fact she had killed the woman who had saved him so mercilessly.
"Yeah, don't do that, I'll get real mad," he said, his face full of sadness.
"She saved you, huh?" she asked, curious, "sounds like a nice person," she ventured.
"She was," AJ said quietly, "but not as nice as you Clem," he smiled at her.
I don't know about that goofball. "Thanks," she said, her heart breaking all the more, hugging him gently. She had no choice, right? She hadn't missed anything? It didn't matter, that woman was gone, and she had killed her.
She squeezed AJ a little tighter, her own thoughts getting to her.
"You okay, Clem?" AJ asked, noting the gentle sniffles coming from the teenager.
"Yeah," she answered softly, breathing in slowly, then exhaling slowly, composing herself.
"It's called trauma," she said, taking AJ's hand, "what you're feeling," she clarified. She couldn't look at his face, so she looked at his hands as she spoke.
"Everything you feel, what you see, what you hear when you have a bad dream is all your trauma," she said, reaching out and taking his hands in hers, "we both have trauma from that place," she breathed. She was at breaking point, upset with herself, for killing the woman. It was already a source of her own nightmare, but now she feared that would become much worse from now on.
"Just remember it is not real, it's just a dream, don't let our trauma, our fear, get the better of us," she explained, rubbing his hands gently with her thumb, still not looking at his face. "It's okay to be scared, but don't let it control you," she finished, venturing a glance at him, his face in awe.
"But I don't like my trauma," he answered, his lips curling down, "I want it off me," he said, pouting as he looked at Clementine.
"It's not that simple," Clementine answered softly, her heart breaking for him. She wished she could help, and take it all away, but she was no doctor.
"It gets easier, I promise," she said softly, attempting to reassure the young boy, "now, is that all of your nightmare?" she asked, hoping from the bottom of her heart it was.
"It's the worst one, yes," AJ answered, hopping off Clementine's knee and looking out the window once more.
"It's okay AJ, we're safe," she reassured him.
"How do you do that, like, how do you know?" he asked. She was nearly always right, and she didn't even have to look.
"You hear the birds singing?" she said, a smile forming.
"Yeah, it's real nice," he answered, looking at the trees in the distance, trying to see one.
"That's why we're safe," she chuckled softly, "the birds singing means there is no danger nearby, walkers or otherwise," she said, pleased she could tell AJ something she had learned for herself over the years of being on the run.
"You're pretty smart," AJ grinned, running over and hugging Clementine, her face lighting up for a moment. It was worth it, even just for his smile. She'd killed, sure, but what if it hadn't been her to find AJ in the locker? That thought had never left her mind, and she doubted it ever would.
"Now you gotta tell me your nightmare," AJ looked up, his brown eyes locked onto hers. How was she going to do this, to tell him what hurt him so badly was a source of her own hurt? Maybe it was best she didn't tell him? Yeah, don't tell him, he doesn't need to know, right?
"Alright then," she relented, swallowing softly as she picked him up and placed him on the table next to her hat.
She breathed out, her breath shaky once more. She hated this more than anything else, but at least she wouldn't have to share this with AJ any more once she was done.
"It's at the ranch, but I can't see a thing, and there's smoke everywhere," she started, looking at AJ protectively.
"All I can think about is finding you, when there's gunshots, and the horrible sound my horse made when it was shot," she said, her shoulders already hunching up.
"It just vanishes into the smoke," she said, "and then I hear you crying or breathing quickly, I don't know which," she continued.
"I was crying a bit," AJ told her, watching her face scrunch up.
"Then you screamed, when you saw your carer lady," she breathed, the trauma of that sound alone tearing her heart out. Being responsible for that scream was practically unbearable, pausing for a moment as she squeezed her eyes shut.
"It's okay Clem, it's just a dream, remember?" AJ tried assuring the teenager.
"I know, I know," Clementine answered, trying her hardest to hold in her emotions, and she was losing. She hugged AJ close, a hug she needed more than anything else in the world.
"Then you come out of the smoke, and you were a walker," she breathed, holding AJ real tight, almost too tight.
"Clem, too tight," AJ gasped, taken aback by her need for such a hug.
"I'm sorry AJ," she said, releasing the pressure, "I just," she paused, "needed you close a second," she sniffed, clearly upset.
"I see your trauma now," AJ said, "you are scared I'm gonna be gone, aren't you?" he asked, his brown eyes soft.
"Something like that, goofball," she answered, trying to cheer herself, and AJ up, bopping his nose again, attempting to get a grip on the emotions that were threatening to run wild.
"It's AJ, how many times," he huffed, folding his arms and pouting.
"Oh yeah?" she said, taking her hat off the table and plonking it on his head, "and I told you, you're my goofball," she giggled, tickling his ribs as she did so.
A few minutes of playing and Clementine's mood had settled, the sounds of the birds flying catching her attention. Time to run.
"Alright, let's go over the rules again, what's rule number 1?" she asked, picking up her knife and pistol, placing them in their respective holders.
"Never go alone," AJ answered, noting the birds had stopped singing, and Clementine's serious look.
"We gotta go, don't we?" he enquired, "the birds aren't singing," he smiled up at Clementine.
"See? You do listen," she answered, nodding, "yup, we gotta go, probably walkers."