[there would be a timeskip to where their adults]
Kyle had gone on a plane trip that lasted a year to Israel. He was coming back today, but a certain Nazi had slept all day and hadn't got the news. Cartman had been lazily sleeping on his couch, a bag of potato chips huddled beneath him. However, as someone knocked on the door he sluggishly trotted to it. Opening it, he yawned and blinked open his blue eyes, and they blurred into Kyle. "Butters you can stop pretending to be Kyle, you're a horrible Jew." He said, blinking.
Kyle had his eyebrows go into a 'v' as he glared. "God damn it Cartman! You fucking fatass, it's me!" He snapped in disbelief, angered by Cartman as usual. Recognizing the voice and attitude, he choked. "Holy shit dude, I thought I just woke up! Is this another wet dream?" Cartman asked, making Kyle's arched brows zip up. "What the hell?" He asked, barging in. "Are you just a creepier version of Eric or have you started drinking again?" Kyle asked, searching for alcohol. Realizing it wasn't a dream, Eric raced to his kitchen and brought out a half full bottle of beer to make it seem like he was drinking, and started drinking some of it.
Kyle tiptoed in, peeking. He screamed in frustration. "GOD DAMN IT ERIC I WILL GET RID OF THAT STUPID SHIT!" He groaned, snatching it up and tossing it to the ground, letting glass shatter everywhere. "FUCKING JEW, I HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF NOW THAT I'M ON MY OWN! YOU EVIL GINGER DEVIL!" Eric hollered back. He had grown noticably taller then Kyle, making him a bit more threatening. Plus he still weighed enough to be superior, but he refused to say he was fat even though true. Kyle looked up, eyes softening. "That's the Cartman was looking for. AND I'M NOT A JEW ANYMORE FUCKING FATASS!" He roared out.
Eric bit his lip. "Well damn it Kyle, you have Jew blood in you." He leaned forward, breathing out making Kyle revolt at the stench, but realize something. "You don't smell like alcohol. Why the fuck did you say that before?" He asked, gripping Eric's shoulder trying to pull him down, only to end up pulling himself up. Cartman shoved him off leaving him scattered on the ground, rubbing his leg sorely. "You know, the wet dream shit!" He snapped. Eric yawned pretending he didn't know what he was talking about. "Man Kyle, those stupid Jews at Israel got into your head bad didn't they?" He sneered. Kyle fumed, lunging at his throat and tightening his arms feet kicking into his belly as he turned to his back. That was the one thing Eric still couldn't block.
He didn't want to crush him - sure he was crazy, but he didn't want to kill his crush ... What? Pfff no he wasn't a crush. Besides, who could he pick on if he was dead? Butters was a terrible Jew or Kyle. He hadn't seen this guy for a year, and an additional month due to a trainwreck. Realizing he was losing breath, he gasped sharply and started to gag. Taking a shard of glass from the thrown beer bottle he tore it into Kyle's arm making him fall backwards, arm limp as the glass tugged between his skin and Eric's grasp. He released it, sending the glass further deep. Kyle's orange coat was staining with blood.
Eric wasn't too worried until Kyle screeched. "ERIC I CAN'T MOVE MY ARM! YOU FUCKING BROKE IT!" He snarled, struggling to stand up and when he moved his arm, he roared in pain. Kyle looked around for a solution. "Kyle do you need a hospital?" Eric asked, somewhat respectably instead of saying his name weirdly. "I don't know, are you a fucking doctor?" He snapped, obviously angered. "Don't worry Kyle, I'll get you to one!" He said, scooping up the other man like a baby, much to Kyle's dismay. But he couldn't deny the help, his arm was bleeding really badly and he felt dehydrated and hot. He had a headache, and the world was going black. The faint words of Eric Cartman went unheard as he felt the rush of Eric moving.