Myka groaned, "Yellowstone? Really?" There was a ping and she was the only agent for miles, Steve and Claudia were in Scotland, Artie was in Russia, Pete had taken Lena to London for some special thing she needed for the shelves at the warehouse. "Why me?" She questioned the Phoenix statue that sat on Claudia's desk waiting to be cataloged. Tesla in hand Myka left the warehouse with haste.
"Will you just stop?" Helena grabbed Myka's shoulder blade. Jerking away from the shorter woman's grasp, Myka spun around. Helena could not mess this up. After months in Regent prison she had been "rehabilitated" the Regents had decided to allow her back into the Warehouse. However, there was one stipulation. She had to earn back the trust of the entire team, with the exception of Artie.
"Do NOT touch me!" she screamed, knowing the raven-haired woman's touch would cause her to falter, "How dare you come back here! After what you did…" The words 'to me' failed to escape Myka's mouth. Myka loved Helena, and she knew Helena felt the same way, however neither had ever conveyed their feelings to the other.
"Myka please!" The Britt begged, deliberately using Myka's name to cause her to listen to the apology Helena was trying to give. "I-" Helena hadn't thought she would get that far, she paused.
"You what? You want to apologize? Beg for forgiveness? Oh heh, Here's a good one 'Want to come work for the warehouse again?' I'm not buying your games this time Helena." Myka spat coldly, green orbs iced over in an attempt to guard her fading fragile façade.
Myka's words pierced straight through Helena's strong front. Threatening tears were forced back into their ducts. How could Myka believe she would play games with her? "Myka," Helena stepped closer, breathing in Myka's sent, fearing she would never let her get this close again, "do you really believe that I would toy with you in such a manner?"
Myka tried to step back, but she couldn't, she missed the Victorian more than she was willing to admit to herself, the closer Helena got the more Myka's legs buckled, "You used me, you got what you wanted and then the Regents gave you what you deserved!"
"Please, my dear, let me speak." Helena's voice was shaky. Myka crossed her arms and nodded, waiting for Helena to gather her thoughts. "I have spent every moment since I was taken from you thinking about this moment. The day I would get the chance to apologize, to-" She drew a ragged breath, "to tell you.. how much I…" She paused again, she could do this, she had to do this, to tell Myka how she felt, " how much I love you. I know my timing is not opportune, but darling you have to know. I am in love with you, Myka Ophelia Bering." Myka opened her mouth to speak but was silenced by H.G.'s finger. "Let me finish."
"I will not lie to you, I used you, misused your trust and friendship. I will never be able to forgive myself for hurting you and the others. The Regent's treated me. They deciding letting brood for another hundred years would do no good. So they were going to let me rot in prison. Mrs. Frederick apparently didn't like that idea very much. She told them to 're-habilitate and re-instate' me. I'm not sure why, but they listened. So here I am, ready to try and repair the friendships I've lost. And perhaps show you I've changed, that I'm better. I know saying I'm sorry will never make up for what I've done, darling, but I'm willing to do anything to prove to you that I am truly sorry. This didn't come out quite as well as I had planned. I suppose my wordsmithing days are done." Helena smiled and waited.
Myka looked at the woman in disbelief. Words escaped her. Air escaped her. Hell, everything other than Helena escaped her. The woman was waiting on her response with bated breath. "I don't even know what to-" Myka shook her head as if it would organize the millions of half thoughts running through her mind. Half of her wanted to kill the woman in front of her. The other? The other wanted nothing more than to kiss Helena and forgive her. Myka stood there unsure of what to do until Helena spoke again.
"Would you like them to re-bronze me, darling?" Myka shuddered at the words, Helena hated the dark. Being trapped in utter darkness for over a hundred years had damaged her. Myka remembered the countless nights of consoling H.G. after she awoke from nightmares, the nights of sleeping with Helena wrapped tightly in her arms, not to mention the night when Helena was so afraid she had to sleep with the lights on.
"No! Of course not, Helena, all that did was cause you pain. Why would I want to do that to you again?"
"It's either re-bronze or re-instate me. I cannot be, oh how did Artie put it, 'unleashed into the unsuspecting public.' Which would you prefer? I'm happy to oblige your decision, my dear." Helena's bluff was called almost immediately. No one is 'happy' to be bronzed.
Myka's anger was fading replaced by sympathy for the supposed-to-be-villain. Fighting back her own set of tears, Myka sighed, "Helena, no. You can't go back to the Bronze sector. You'd go insane." Blinking back the tears, letting them spill now would be a mistake.
"Again." Helena added, letting a small laugh escape from both of their mouths. Oh how Helena had missed the sound of that laugh, that breathtaking laugh from that breathtaking girl.
"Hele-" Whatever Myka had planned to say was fast forgotten as Helena latched onto Myka, allowing the tears she had been fighting to spill. Myka smoothed the woman's black hair relaxing into the embrace. "Helena, I've missed you."
"And I you, more than you will ever imagine, darling," Helena sobbed into Myka curly locks.
"You understand I cannot just forgive you, right?" Helena nodded into Myka's shoulder afraid to let go. "But, Helena," Myka pulled back so she could look at the older woman's dark eyes. "I love you too. We can't- not now, not like this." Fresh tears formed in Helena's eyes. "I'm not saying not ever, just not now." Myka reentered the hugs, pulling Helena as close as possible.
Helena understood, she had so much to make up for and that it would take time for the ice lock on the green orbs that had such an impact on her to break. No, not break. Melt. Helena had to take her time and not force the ice lock to break, but wait for it to melt.
Helena hated being so venerable. She had held strong through the months of "re-habitation" refused to let the Regents see her cry. She had held it all in, but now, in front of Myka, she couldn't hide. Even iced over, Myka's eyes saw right through the strong mask. Myka didn't know what they had done to Helena but whatever it was, wasn't pleasant. Helena's tears told her that. The only thing that used to make Helena cry was Cristina.