Here's another autocorrect story. Got the autocorrects from Damn you auto correct . com. I do not own Glee or the characters, I'm just playing with them. I promise to put them back when I'm done. And please don't expect these to be in 'text-speak', I loath it so much.
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Puck
I'm heading home, dude. My sac is licking me.
Finn
... Is that even possible?
Puck
Dude, no! I meant my stomach is killing me!
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Finn
You need to do something about your ballsac, dude. It stinks.
Kurt
Are you high? My BALLSAC?
Finn
Your BASEMENT! Sorry, dude, autocorrect.
Finn
Kurt? Are you there?
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Mercedes
Has he called yet?
Kurt
No, wish he would soon though. I hate sitting and waiting for my phone to ripen.
Mercedes
Lol, your waiting for your phone to ripen?
Kurt
Haha, no. I'm waiting for it to ring.
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Mike
Hey, want to have children with me?
Tina
Bit soon for that, don't you think?
Mike
Yeah, ignore that. I was asking if you wanted to have Chinese with me.
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Kurt
Carole asked me to text you and tell you we're having spaghetti and meatsack, so come home.
Finn
Um, not sure if I want to eat that.
Kurt
Oh my GaGa, I meant spaghetti and meatballs.
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Burt
Guess where I'm texting you from.
Kurt
Where?
Burt
On top of a Mormon.
Kurt
How'd you get up there?
Burt
Whoops, meant on top of a mountain.
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Blaine
Sorry, should have told you about Jeremy sooner.
Kurt
Yes, you should have. I don't like it when people keep SQUIRRELMEAT from me.
Blaine
... Squirrel meat?
Kurt
Oh for crying out loud. I meant secrets!
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Finn
You havent been answering me. Are you getting my testosterone?
Finn
Shit, are you getting my texts?
Rachel
Sorry, cant say that I have been getting your testosterone. Ask Puck, I'm sure he has it.
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Sam
I'm having the worst blueballs right now. How do you spell 'peaknow'?
Quinn
Um, first 'blueballs'? And are you asking how to spell 'piano'?
Sam
Shit, I meant brainfarts, and yes, I wanted to know how to spell piano.
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Kurt
Should we have a movie night tonight?
Mercedes
Can't. I'm painting my bedroom.
Kurt
Oh, what color?
Mercedes
Effervescent shitstain
Kurt
I see. And what color is that exactly?
Mercedes
Haha, European Sunrise. Want to come over and help me?
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Santana
Are you coming over soon?
Puck.
No. Waiting for an incantation from you. ;)
Santana
A what? Are you trying to imply something, Puckerman?
Puck
Shit, no! I meant an invitation.
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Rachel
How are you allowed out uncircumsized?
Puck
Um, I'm Jewish?
Rachel
That was bad. I apologize, I meant to say unsupervised.
Puck
No need to apologize. ;) You really want to know if I'm uncircumsized?
Rachel
Ew, no. I'm with Finn, remember?
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Mike
Hey, what are you doing?
Artie
Chilling with my GRANNYPANTIES.
Mike
Um, I was going to ask if you wanted to come over and play video games, but sounds like your having fun with your granny panties.
Artie
Oh geez, no. I meant my grandparents. I do not wear granny panties.
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Blaine
Hey, you coming over?
Kurt
Yeah, I'm leaving earth now.
Blaine
Earth? Where exactly do you think I am, Mars?
Kurt
Lol, no. I meant I'm leaving work now.