Hey everyone...I've decided to try something a little different here. I've recently gotten into Big Bang Theory at the behest of my friends, and my goodness, do I love this show. So much that I've decided to try my hand at writing fics for it, with this being my first one. I've breezed through seasons one and two on DVD and am in the process of doing the same with seasons three and four, all while catching up on season five. So forgive me if everything seems off or the characters are acting OOC...it's my first BBT fic, so be gentle! With that said, I had fun writing this and I hope you all have fun reading it. Enjoy!

And I don't own anything.

She'd have been lying if she said that she wasn't completely and totally thrilled with the news of Pryia moving back to India.

When Penny heard the news from Raj and Howard, she was practically doing jumping jacks on the inside and outside. Of course, she hadn't uttered a peep to Leonard about her newfound joy since then though, as she didn't want to upset or offend him, but that didn't mean that...

"You seem to be cheerier than usual. Might this have something to do with your ex boyfriend's current girlfriend moving back to her homeland, leaving him in a surely depressed and devestated state of mind?"

...Sheldon didn't immediately pick up on it. She cursed his IQ of 187 and, well, everything else that made him the super smart braniac that he was. They were in the lobby getting their mail, and despite the fact that Sheldon already knew of her renewed happiness, he never really pressed her about it until right now. But that didn't mean that Sheldon didn't know about it, because he did. He's Sheldon, she reasoned silently to herself. He knows any and everything. She figured he must've knew the second Pryia had left.

"What ever gave you that idea?", she asked nonchalontly, trying to act as if she wasn't at all giddy on the inside, waiting for a reason to explode with joy.

"Oh, Penny", he said in that condescending tone of voice, one that she still hated after all these years of living across the hall from him. "You act like I'm not able to see when someone I've had the misfortune of being neighbors with for the last four years is elated and overwhelmed at the fact that her former boy toy is now alone and you're able to see him every day again, with no outside distractions from anyone."

She stood there, a blank expression on her face, as per usual whenever Sheldon went off on a theoretical tangent, or just felt like flaunting his superior smartness in front of her, like he had been doing for the aforementioned four years. Penny sighed and shook her head, muttering something under her breath, while Sheldon smiled that smug smile, like always.

"I didn't think so, but such is life."

His next few words, though, completely and totally threw her off.

"So what do you propose you're going to do about it?"

They stopped on the third floor, right underneath their respective apartments. It had been a little over a month since Pryia had moved back to India, and now that she thought about it, she had really only been over to their apartment a handful of times, mostly for dinner with the whole gang like old times. She hadn't really been over there by herself to say hi to the gang or hang out with them or...talk with Leonard. Now that she thought about it, she was kind of dreading talking to him about...well...her feelings. For him. That never really went away. Yeah, she could see why she didn't want to talk to him about that touchy subject.

She saw Sheldon waiting impatiently, tapping his foot on the ground, an annoyed expression written across his face. Snapping out of her funk, she shrugged her shoulders, replying with, "What do you mean, what am I gonna do about it? So Pryia moved away and Leonard's by himself again. Isn't he trying a long distance relationship with her?", she asked as they continued their walk up the last flight of stairs.

"Yes, but so far, attempts at virtual coitus have come with results that have left a lot to be desired about the strength of said partnership", Sheldon commented with a small grin tugging at his lips as he reached his door. "Not to mention that her parents found out that she was dating someone not from India. You can surely imagine how that revelation was taken by her parents."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure they were thrilled", Penny murmured as she stood in the middle of the hall, backing away towards her own apartment.

"You have no idea! In fact, Koothrappali's parents were so overcome with enjoyement that Pryia is dating someone whiter than a bag of marshmallow's that they threw a huge celebration to commemorate such a thing happening with their daughter", Sheldon said sardonically.

Her eyebrow raised, she rolled her eyes as she took another step backward. "Yeah, I can totally see why Leonard loves living with you. Well, it was nice getting talked down to as usual, Sheldon, but I gotta run, so see ya later!", she said quickly as she opened her door and headed into her apartment, closing the door behind her, slumping up against it and sliding down onto the floor. She hung her head low, her blonde locks of hair covering her face as she sighed heavily.

It had been well over a year since her and Leonard had broken up, all because of what that total douchebag Wil Wheaton had said to her, and then later to Sheldon at that damn bowling alley. She remembered her's and Sheldon's reactions to when he broke the news to her. Her first reaction was that of absolute rage, wanting to murder Wil Wheaton, but then it turned to an emotional break-down, one that Sheldon was ill-advised to handle. But then there was his reaction, and she remembered the look in his eyes, how she remembered him being...a little upset...sad almost. He clearly, too, was infuriated with what his former mortal enemy had done to his best friend and his ex girlfriend (he didn't particularly like dressing up as Wonder Woman, that was for damn sure), but she sensed that he actually felt...bad about the entire situation. And then he hugged her again, that awkward hug that he had graced her with twice before, and though it did little to help her out then, she appreciated the gesture and it only proved that despite all the barbs they traded with each other, deep down, Sheldon really did care for her. But it still didn't help the fact that she lost the best guy she had ever dated, all because of what fracking Wil Wheaton had said...and, well, her own stupid, idiotic, childish insecurities. But that was for another day.

"You never realize what you've got till you lose it", she muttered as she picked herself up off the floor and then promptly plopped herself down on the couch, turning the TV on to some random soap opera. No less than ten minutes later, however, she was asleep on her couch, exhausted from a long day at the Cheesecake Factory, and, well...thinking about Leonard.

A few hours had passed before she was awoken by a loud scream across the hall, followed up by who she knew was Sheldon saying, "Bazinga, punk! Now we're even!" Curious as to what might have illicited such a reaction from Sheldon, she exited her apartment and ventured across the hall, quietly knocking on their door, only to see that it was open. The couch cushions were all over the place, but there was no Sheldon...there was nobody there.

Except Leonard.

Sensing the imminent awkward silence that was sure to envalope the room, seeing as the two of them hadn't been alone in quite some time, she spoke up. "Is everything ok here? I um, I heard screaming. Did you remove a band-aid in front of Sheldon again?"

She watched as Leonard quickly shook his head, still clutching his chest for some reason. Whatever had happened here, he was the one that screamed she assumed. Moving to put the cushions back on the couch, she asked the obvious question of, "What happened to get you to scream like that then?"

"Oh...it's nothing...", he replied quietly. "Though if you hear any more screaming at some point in the middle of the night, it's me killing Sheldon, so don't worry about it", he added. A small smile crept across her lips; at least he hadn't changed in that regard.

"Well, ok then. Just wanted to check and see if everything was alright...so I guess I'll be-"

She couldn't get the last few words out, as Leonard had moved toward her and grabbed hold of her wrist, effectively stopping her in her tracks. All it took was one look into his eyes, and she felt her heart slowly begin to splinter; he looked so hurt, so lost, so...broken. She immediately began to wonder what had caused him to look like this, where his pain had come from. His hand was still firmly wrapped around her wrist, like he had no intention of letting her go until he wanted to do so. He was almost silently pleading with her to not go, to not leave him alone, but...

"What's the matter, Leonard?"

Penny sensed that he wanted to talk so, so badly to her, to open up to her again and let her back in after Pryia had kicked her out like she was nothing. He was holding back; she could tell by the way his lips were pursed together, like he had sucked on a couple of lemons beforehand, and the way his left eye was subtly twitching. She was desperately wishing he'd say something, anything, to her.

But nothing ever came. He released the grip he had on her wrist and shook his head, muttering something about how he was fine and needed to get to sleep, that he'd talk to her soon, before turning around and walking down the hall to his room. She stood there in stunned silence for a few moments, staring at the empty apartment, a place she had called 'home' on more than one occasion. The place held a lot of memories for her, most of them good. Shaking her head as she turned the lights off and made her way back across the hall, she entered her apartment and then threw herself onto the couch, sitting in silence. Just then, she felt a tear begin to slide down her cheek, and she knew that the one thing she didn't want to happen had, well, happened.

Penny was no longer a big part of Leonard's life...and it absolutely killed her on the inside. 'So much for that newfound happiness', she thought as another tear fell and she reached for her phone, dialing a familiar number, waiting for the line to click.

"Bernadette? Yeah, it's me, Penny...do you think you and Amy...do you think you two could come over? It's...it's really bad..."

Ten minutes later, her two best friends were at her apartment door, with cheesy chick flicks (Amy's idea) and three huge bottles of wine (Bernadette's) in hand. By then, she had ceased the tears, but her mood had gone further south and having her two best friends around seemed like it would be the only thing that could cheer her up at the moment.

"Penny, it's going to be alright...maybe he just doesn't want to talk to anyone about whatever it is he may be going through at the moment", Bernadette said in her mousy little voice.

"But he's always talked to me about anything, no matter how big or small the problem. He's sought my advice on so many things...what would make this any different?", she asked, putting her head in her hands as she wracked her mind for reasons, anything at all, as to the change in his behavior lately.

"Perhaps it's something he hasn't ever discussed during the tenure of your friendship? It could be very possible that Leonard has withheld something, even from you", Amy added as she sifted through the movies she brought over, deciding which one would be appropriate to watch.

Penny looked at her with a sort of incredulous look, but shook her head clear of any snarky remark. "I've known Leonard for years now...we've talked about everything there is to talk about...what would make him stop?", she asked as she grabbed her wine glass and took a rather long swig, nearly finishing it off.

"I have to agree with Amy...it might be something deeply personal. I mean, I'm sure there's some things that you haven't told him about, right?", Bernadette said innocently, not knowing the weight of the words she had just spoken. Penny stopped mid sip of her wine, shutting her eyes tightly before letting out a ragged sigh, almost like she was coughing up the wine in her throat. Bernadette gave her an odd look and shrugged her shoulders, but Amy...

"There are things you haven't told him about yourself, aren't there", she stated matter-of-factly. Penny immediately grabbed the open bottle of wine and poured herself a more than generous glass, while Bernadette shifted uncomfortably in her seat, feeling that their conversation was going to go to a place it didn't need to go to.

"Of course there are, but..."

Before Amy could interject, she was cut off by Bernadette. "Amy, I really don't think now is the time to get into that kind of stuff unless Penny wants to. I mean, she's been through a lot the last few weeks and all...wouldn't it be best to be comforting and supportive?"

"And get drunk and watch terrible chick flicks and gossip about everything!", Penny added with a bit of a laugh, however forced it was, though neither girl picked up on it.

Amy nodded her head and turned to face Penny, placing her hand on her wrist, saying, "My sincerest apologies, Bestie. I won't intrude on any deep rooted secrets unless you spill the beans yourself, drunk off your ass or not", she said with a smile. All Penny could do was smile at the situation as she took another sip of her wine.

Three and a half hours later, Sweet November with Keanu Reeves was on, all the wine was gone and Penny was the only one awake. Amy was sprawled across the half of the couch she was sitting on previously, while Bernadette was curled up into a little ball on the chair she was in. Drunkenly smiling, Penny stumbled back into her room and fell onto her bed, drifting off into a deep slumber. All throughout the night, however, her dreams were filled with memories from the seven months she spent dating Leonard, and all the good and bad times they experienced with each other.

After much tossing and turning, the last memory she settled on was her walking out of the bowling alley, the lasting image before she hit the doors being that of Leonard's heart-broken face, the realization that their relationship was over at that rate because she kept the three biggest words he wanted to hear locked away in her heart, guarded with any amount of shields that she could think of. He said them without fear, because he meant them as true. So why couldn't she do the same, when she so obviously cared deeply about him? It was only three words...what could be so difficult about saying them? It seemed so easy...

"Mhm...I love you...Leonard..."

Just then, her eyes snapped open, and her mouth was covered with her hands. She then grimaced and hated herself so much as a person at that moment. Where?

Where were those words when she needed them the most?

Like I said at the beginning, this is my first stab at a P/L BBT fic...I apologize if anything is out of sync and whatnot. And yes, I'm sure this kind of story has been done to death, but I really wanted to try my hand at it and here it is. Next chapter should be up soon, probably after I finish season three and begin season four, so hopefully by the end of the week. Until then, bye! =)