Title: The one where Charles and Erik are a demon and an angel
Author: TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel
Word count: 564
Notes: Continuing my long tradition of writing ridiculous fic in multiple fandoms, I give you this. IDEK, guys. Probably owes a fair bit to that Sherlock fic by etothipii I read on AO3.
Summary: In which Charles is a demon acting as Hell's representative on Earth, and Erik is Heaven's (and Erik just wants to get off this infuriating rock, while Charles drinks his tea and ponders). An X-Men: First Class & Good Omens fusion fic.
The one where Charles and Erik are a demon and an angel
"I hate this rock," says Erik.
Charles smiles into his tea.
"Now, Erik, that seems a little excessive, surely."
Their names aren't really Erik and Charles, of course, but the entire point is to blend in, and human names are a good way to start.
Erik sends Charles a glowering look.
"I hate this rock," Erik says again. "They sin incessantly, and they don't even care."
Charles is very aware of this. He spends his weekends and as many of his nights as possible taking advantage of that fact.
Erik, on the other hand, is a very old-school angel in his attitudes, who misses the days when people took religion seriously. He hates the free love movement and their bohemian attitudes, and tends to work off his frustration by hunting down demons with a viciousness and thoroughness that Charles can't help but appreciate.
Charles, of course, loves the free love movement. But then, he is a demon.
"I wish I could just smite them," says Erik.
Dear Erik. So unenlightened.
"Yes, because they'll certain learn something that way," Charles agrees dulcetly, which earns him a glare.
"I miss the middle ages."
Charles actually puts his cup down.
"Erik!" he protests. "They were terrible!"
Erik's arms are folded and his face looks like it has been carved from particularly forbidding stone. All he needs are the wings and the flaming sword to leave absolutely no doubt what he really is.
"At least they were devout, Charles."
Charles scoffs.
"Devout? My dear Erik, do you really believe that a bunch of ignorant, superstitious yokels acting purely out of fear or self-aggrandisement rather than compassion and genuine devotion really counts as being devout?"
Erik maintains a stubborn silence.
Charles sighs.
"Oh, Merikael. Thousands of years on Earth and yet sometimes you behave as though you only arrived here yesterday."
Charles, by contrast, has made full use of his time here, and he has learned. Other demons may sneer at the way he has fully assimilated himself into the human world, but they would react very differently if Charles ever had to put any of his unique skills and knowledge to good use.
Everyone thinks he's harmless, with his ugly sweaters and mild tea obsession and preoccupation with good manners, but Charles is still the Serpent, sly and swift and deadly.
The only one who is never fooled is Erik, who is fairly formidable himself, and who, if he were not an angel, Charles would swear had been a shark in a former life.
Not that Erik isn't kind and understanding deep down, of course: he is an angel. But he's a soldier, and he has never forgotten. Not even when he and Charles came to their peculiar truce a millennium ago, when Erik was intelligent enough to see that Charles was different from the other demons and Charles was curious enough to see where such an arrangement might lead.
Charles has never regretted making that decision.
"I just think they should be more religious," Erik insists.
"Oh honestly, Erik." Charles is beginning to feel irritated, and a little exasperated. "Let it go. I'm sure that if your superiors were displeased with the way things are then they would let you know. Now drink your tea and make a move."
Erik sighs, but moves a pawn grudgingly.
Charles politely pretends not to see the flicker of a smile.