A/N: Hey, everyone, I've been lost from writing fanfiction from a while now, I even stopped watching Grey's after Mark's death. But after hearing that now Derek Shepherd is also in the list of Shonda's killed characters I had to write this story to give him my proper goodbye. As the other stories I wrote, it is focused on Addison Montgomery and how she would take the news of her ex-husband dying. I hope you enjoy reading it and please review if you do.
Everything in the Seaside Wellness Center was going pretty well since the last couple of years. They were finally done with everything they've been through during the last few years, Addison and Jake recently celebrated their second anniversary, along with Henry's third year. Sam and Naomi were once again that couple who they used to be back in med school when they met and fall in love, they were raising their kid and made Maya and her daughter visit every weekend. Cooper and Charlotte were finally used to the triplets but now they were facing something even more terrifying, Mason becoming and teenager; and finally, Violet she even started dating some plastic surgeon from St. Ambrosse and things were going on pretty serious. It seemed like every single doctor at the practice had their life figured out.
This particular day, there was something different for one of the doctors, Addison stayed her day with an early emergency C-Section, followed by another couple of surgeries. When she finally managed to arrive to the practice, she couldn't even finish his daily coffee, she had at least five patients waiting for her.
Once she was finally done with all her duties, she stayed on her office resting, trying to keep her mind off everything going on her head, it wasn't the first time Addison felt distracted over something she shouldn't even be thinking.
"Addison? Sweetheart? Are you listening what I'm saying?" Jake asked concerned, he was sat right in front of her, he was talking about how Henry drew in the walls of the practice's daycare, a bad habit the little boy seemed to enjoy, despite how much his parents kept asking, begging him to stop.
"Yes." Addison answered, trying to face the reality. "I- I'm sorry, Jake. I'm just…"
"Tired? You've had a lot of work today and it's barely past noon." Jake assumed, being married to Addison, he knew this could only mean one of two things, the first option, she was tired because some patient and her family was making it difficult, or she was thinking about her past, which still was haunting her every once in a while.
"No. It's just… I've been thinking…" Addison didn't know if Jake was the right person to share this kind of thoughts with her husband but she was sure he'd understand. "It's Derek. He… Uh- He wrote a song for me, you know, back when we were dating in Med School and he sang it with Sam, Archer and Mark when we got married. I've got that damn song stucked in my head, I just don't know why, and before you freak out or anything, it's probably nothing but my mind keeps going on that stupid and catchy tune." Addison explained, her words came out fasted that she expected to be.
"Is this you trying to tell me that I should write you a song?" Jake joked but still looking confused, trying to figure out what was exactly going on every time Addison started to act like this was still something challenging. Addison didn't answer, she only shook her head as she crossed her arms. "Okay, then. I don't know, was it a good song? Probably you should talk to Violet about this? I don't know exactly what to say about it."
"It's not really about the song." Addison admitted. This caught Jake's attention, he had never doubt about his wife, but having her thinking about her ex-husband wasn't exactly someone would picture as a great talk.
"I have a bad feeling. It is probably nothing. I just- I don't know, I lost my first patient today, the husband, he was pretty similar to Derek, even when he was yelling at me when I told him his wife didn't make it. I guess it brought old memories back. But that's it. It'll pass, is it?" She asked her husband, hoping to get a positive answer and really expecting she hadn't screwed it up by talking to him about this kind of stuff.
"I'm sure it will. You always worry too much, Addie." Jake kissed his wife's temple and caressed her cheek. He knew he didn't have to worry for Addison's messy thoughts but he clearly didn't like to see her like that. "Now, I really have to return to my office. Ms. Weingfield is trying in-vitro again and I'm sure she's already waiting there. I'll come back here once I'm done and please, stop worrying, sweetheart."
As soon as Jake left, Addison left out a heavy sigh and she rested on her office as some old memories started to take place on her head, now that she was alone, she could reconnect with some repressed memories she kept for herself all over those years.
FLASHBACK, 1990.
COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY MEDICAL SCHOOL.
It was one of their summer Anatomy class, Addison was excited because it was the first time she got to actually cut an human body, she loved study with the medical books and every guide The Captain got from her but now, doing the practical part of the studies, everything seemed more real. Since a very young age, she was determinate to become a surgeon, and not only a simple surgeon, the best. Being one of the best of her class wasn't even close to becoming a great surgeon, but today she was learning the basics and somehow, she'll manage to make it through the top of this class. Despite the fact that her best friend, Naomi paired up with Sam to do this assignment, she'd try her best to work along with the other med student her professor paired her up with.
Since her partner didn't show up at time, she started working by herself on her assignment, she did the first incision as she followed her professor's instructions. Not so long later, two young students showed up to the lab and took few steps towards the cadaver Addison was working with.
Addison Montgomery, I met her in the summer.
She was cutting up a very dead body
"Sorry I'm late, My roommate lost the keys and then he stopped to grab some breakfast. I thought you would wait to start cutting." The boy mentioned as he stand next to Addison, to check what she was doing so she could follow her up with whatever she was doing.
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to the patient who is probably dead by now since you decided it was way more important to wait for your roommate and grab breakfast before actually showing up." Addison rolled her eyes, keeping her sight in the cadaver.
"I don't know if you noticed but we're practicing with a dead body. They guy's already dead, whether we like it or not." The boy defended himself from the readhead, it was the first student he spoke with who actually said some lecture to him.
"You have no idea of it, do you? Do you know how many people die at some doctor's table because they were minutes or even hours late? Sometimes patients can't wait, and when they do it is already too late. If you have a patient waiting for you, you show up no matter what because once you're a surgeon, people's lives are on your hands. Do you really think you could deal with the pressure of someone dying because you wanted to grab your breakfast and your roommate is a total mess?" Addison lifted his sight to meet up with her partner's eyes. He didn't seem like one of those idiots following around her class, he seemed different, he had this amazing blue-bright eyes and a smile that she was sure got more than one girl sighing. "I don't think you could handle that pressure." She added, still staring at the guy.
And in her eyes I saw my life,
I knew that she would be my wife.
"You're right; I wouldn't be able to deal with it." He answered with a smile on his face, Addison was not only beautiful but right from that moment, after she finished saying something he'd remember his whole life during his medical career, he knew something else, she wouldn't just be a simple med school partner for him. "This is actually the first and surely the last time I'm late to a class. Thank you for lecturing me, I'm sure you'll be a good surgeon one day."
"That's what I'm trying to." Addison smiled right back at him. "Addison Montgomery." She introduced herself, they didn't have any other class together and it was the first time they were actually speaking.
"Derek Shepherd. Very nice to meet you, I'm sure we'll be a good team in this class." Derek added, practically couldn't stop staring at this redhead young woman and he was glad that at least he would get to spend all the summer working with her in this class. And hopefully becoming her friend and who knows if something even more than that, if he was lucky enough.
"I'm sure we will, only if you don't show up late in every class." She teased, trying not to laugh. "Can we just get back to the Cadaver?" Addison looked down, trying to focus on her assignment once again.
And she would breathe the life back into me.
For every day until eternity.
Derek and Addison were one of the first to finish the assignment, as soon as she left the classroom, Derek ran into Mark, who was working with some other girl. "Did you see that girl I'm working with? That's Addison Montgomery. Remember her name, I'm marrying her someday." Derek announced his friend with this particular dreamy smile.
Or until I'll be as dead as that body.
END OF FLASHBACK.
Addison's memories drew a sad smile over her face, thinking on that particular day and how everything simply worked between Derek and her back then. But everything she was thinking, was quickly interrupted by her iPhone's ringtone. She quickly shook her head, trying to get back to her reality before even checking her phone's screen. She took it with her right hand and saw the name on it. Somehow, she felt her heart skipping a beat, she had never gotten a call from Seattle for some good news, at least this time it was Amelia at the phone, they kept in touch, they would talk on iMessage or even Facetime every once in a week. She only called her when it was only something important, like when she operated on Dr. Herman, who was an old friend of Addison and one of the few people on her field who were almost as good as she was.
As the phone kept ringing, Addison kept it on her hand, thinking if she should take the call or not. It took another couple of deep breathes for her to take the call. "Hello?" She answered closing her eyes, that bad feeling she had earlier was now only worse. She hoped it was nothing, like Jake said. She needed it to be nothing.
"Addie." Amelia said with her voice breaking, Addison could notice that she didn't have good news, she would recognize that same tone everywhere. It was the same she used when she was recovering from her drug addiction, that same one she used every time she would talk about her father, Ryan or even her Unicorn Baby. Addison couldn't help but being afraid for what was Amelia going to say.
"What's going on Amelia? Just tell me." Addison stood from her chair and starting walking in circles towards her office as she waited for the bad news. "Are you okay? Did something happen? What's going on?" She repeated, as the clock kept ticking he only got even more worried.
"Addie…" Amelia tried to talk but her voice was breaking down, she couldn't talk, she couldn't speak, she still couldn't accept the truth and the fact that she was trying to share this terrible, crappy, horrible news with Addison only made it more real and she didn't want it to be real. "There… There was an accident. Derek… He… He was involved in it." She started, as soon as Amelia mentioned her brother, Addison had to sit down once again, maybe that bad feeling she had wasn't just nothing after all. Her eyes started to fill with tears but she managed to keep her voice intact.
"How bad is he?" She asked, waiting for Amelia to tell her that he had bad injuries and somehow he was going to recover from this.
"Addie…" Amelia said again. "He's dead. Derek's dead." Amelia said, also trying her best to not fall down, she couldn't afford to do that and not even over the phone. Sadly, for Addison, it was totally different. "NO." She yelled, even thought they were divorced, they still kept in touch and were still friends, she could dealt with Pete, Mark and even Bizzy dying but not Derek. That only made it seem like some sick and twisted joke.
"No, no, no. He can't. This can't be happening." Addison left her phone on her desk, this was a kind of new she never thought she'd have to hear, not yet at least. She allowed herself to cry for the man whom she shared a quarter of her life with and now was gone forever, it took a lot for Addison Montgomery to have a breakdown, but this, it wasn't something she was able to process.
"Addison? Sweetheart, talk to me. What's happening?" Jake ran into his wife's office as soon as he heard some noise coming from there, he quickly grabbed her on his arms, sitting next to her. "Hey, Addie. Tell me. What's going on?" He pulled her closer to him to make her feel safe.
"Derek is dead." Addison informed, her words were barely understandable but they were enough for Jake to get it. "Amelia called." She added. Addison wanted this to be over, she didn't want to face the reality, she couldn't deal with someone else dying, she couldn't deal with Derek dying and as much as she wanted to be strong right, she couldn't. It was just like Bizzy used to say, people plan and God laughs.
AN: So, this is my version of Addison's reaction, please review to let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.