Empty Nesters

Our big house on the Sound has never been so quiet. The only sound I hear is the sharp clip from the heels of my flats as I walk across the hardwood floor.

Where is he?

I walk from the foyer to the living room – maybe he escaped to the couch for comfort.

No luck.

I try the kitchen, thinking he could use a snack after our flight back from LAX.

He's not there, either.

From the kitchen, I peer out the glass wall with the perfect view of the sunset over the Sound. I stop to admire it, thinking back on all the sunsets I've witnessed here over the years – many of them were not as silent as it is tonight. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I remember my mission – finding my husband.

My heels click as I beeline to his study – if I don't find him there, it's possible that he fled back to Malibu. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

But that's where I find him. In his office, grand leather chair spun so that he's facing the sunset, too. I can tell that he's slumped down in the chair, for I can only see the top of his head, his copper hair speckled with hints of gray.

I sigh, watching him from the door of the study. I certainly don't want to disturb him, especially while he's in the midst of handling this "crisis." But I also want nothing more than to take him in my arms and comfort him. Then again, that's all I've wanted to do since the moment we met.

He knows I'm there, though. I observe as he sits up straighter in his chair and rolls his shoulders back. Even then, I wait.

"Mrs. Grey…" he eventually murmurs.

I take this as my cue to enter the room. I do so slowly; I don't want to spook him out of talking about…what we had to do today.

"Hi," I whisper once I'm in front of him, arms crossed over my chest, head cocked to the side as I gaze into his eyes.

"Sit," he orders, opening his arms and motioning to his lap.

So I sit.

He envelops me in his arms, and I know he's feeling better already. I curl up on top of him, lay my head on his shoulder, and let the silence sink in for a few moments longer before I make him talk.

"Christian…" I finally try him.

"Hmmm…" he mumbles.

I sit up and place my hands on his shoulders, "Christian, you have to talk about this. You've avoided it all summer. And now we're here, in this house, all alone. This is reality, now."

He tightens his grip around my body, as if he has to hold onto me so I don't leave, too. Like I ever would. "It was inevitable. I knew they'd both be gone someday. But so soon? It feels like just yesterday we brought them home."

My heart softens at his words, his tone, the look in his eyes as he talks about them. I, too, start to reminisce on when we brought our children home. Twenty years flew by faster than I ever could have imagined. Now, Teddy is beginning his junior year at Stanford, and we just moved Phoebe into Pepperdine today.

"Christian," I grab his attention again, "They're not gone forever! It's just college. Two years from now Teddy could be back. Then four years from now we'll be grumbling over the fact that they'll both be back!" My voice drops to a more, er, seductive tone, "So much for alone time then…"

He perks up when I mention "alone time," or perhaps it was the tone of voice in which I said "alone time."

"I do enjoy our alone time, Ana," he grins ever so slightly, "But I just worry about them. Teddy, not so much. But Phoebe…she's so innocent and California is so…California."

I laugh, "Christian, give your daughter some credit! She graduated at the top of her class, has a great group of friends, made smart choices throughout high school. Phoebe's all grown up now."

He sighs, still not ready to accept my rational words.

"Plus," I continue, "With all the security that you and Taylor hired, she probably has more protection than the President of the United States!" My mention of our Head of Security, Jason Taylor, surely does the trick to put Christian at ease.

"You're right," he finally gives in and pulls my head down to rest on his shoulder again.

With that, I decide not to pester him any more tonight about his feelings and focus on the fact that we are alone. We haven't been completely alone in over twenty years. We love our children, of course, but considering our whirlwind romance, fast marriage, and surprise pregnancy soon after we were married, Christian and I didn't have as much "married couple time" as we imagined.

Now, Christian and I sit together, staring out his office window at the starry sky over the Sound, beginning our first night alone in the big house together. As I bury myself deeper into his warm embrace, I realize the house isn't filled with an eerie silence but a comfortable peace that will surround my husband and I as we embark on this new journey in our lives.

"Ana?" Christian's whisper breaks the silence.

"Yes?" I whisper back.

"I'm really going to miss them," he admits, breaking down his own guard and addressing his ever-complicated emotions.

I soften as I place a kiss on his lips, "Me too, baby. Me too."