by =AethereaCrepusculum
Emotions are petty. At least, to me they are. They are obstacles in the race of life and keep you from getting to where you want to be before you reach the finish line.
I was born, long ago, with only one emotion. Wrath and anger. Rage. I was born from the animal instinct of fight and will remain to do so until I breathe my last breath.
This…powerful…emotion has helped me win many fights, but has hurt me in many ways. I have lost friends, family, and love to this emotion. Even my dear counterpart will never look at me the same once he saw the true me.
But, that is a lie. There is no such thing as a true person. Everyone can change, and I believe it. If only I had believed it long ago…
If only this rage had not blinded me.
-
It all started about 20 years ago, when Flippy arrived back from the war. He was still traumatized; much of his time was spent alone. So far, everything was fine. He was enjoying a peaceful life of newspapers, coffee, and crying himself to sleep to the sounds of the city nightlife.
He had no idea I even existed.
Where was I? I was huddled into the dark corners of his mind, kept in a prison of pills and psychological advice. It was my home and no matter how much I hated it I would always be here. Or so I thought.
I was wondering around, peaking through corners and reliving every nightmare this dreamscape gave me. It was only upon further notice that I saw a very large crack in a wall of some sort. It was so fragile, so tempting, and I was ever so hungry for its secrets. So, I touched it.
In an almost burning sensation, I had seemingly been transported to another destination. At first, I thought it was just a wormhole in Flip's mind. However, I realized that that was not true. I realized I was no longer in his mind, but in his body and now had full control of everything; as if we had switched places. Needless to say, I loved it.
I admit, I was stupid at the time, so for some godforsaken reason I thought we were back in the war. The people around me were all enemies. So, I did the first thing that came to mind: to kill.
In a beautiful soiree of crimson showers and a cacophony of screams, I did my best to make sure each one of them breathed their last breath. All except one.
My Erika.
At the time though, she had been nothing but a Desert Rose amongst these Black Eyed Susans. I took one look at her and even though she fled, I knew I could not hurt her. I tried to run after her, but she was too fast and escaped into the night. Feeling alone and depressed, I walked back to my apartment and let after a cold shower let Flippy take place in reality once more.
This story would be much too long to explain how many times I tried my best to make Flippy flip-out just so I could go and meet Erika. Turns out, it was just enough. She had a thing for 'bad boys', no matter how bad they were, and I had a thing for her. Our love was greater than anything that came to mind. At least that was what I was thinking.
Now, this is where I have to take a breath. I wish I could just stop and stay Erika and I were able to live happily ever after. However, we weren't. As I said in the beginning, I was born for the sole purpose to kill and I had not killed in many months. So, when I had found out Erika had been sleeping with another man, I figured it was the correct punishment, if not, permanent death.
For the sake of remaining a man and not crying while I write this, I will summarize it for you. I dragged her out of Happy Tree Town, into to Interdit Forest. And you know what happens next, so I will not venture further into it.
For the next many years I denied that fact that it was me who brought her untimely death and blamed it on these 'Black Eyed Susans'. I had created a fake memory of them taking away my poor Desert Rose and every day I made sure each and every one of them paid for it.
Unfortunately, it had gotten to the point where even Flippy noticed my work. Completely in shock, he was under the hallucination that it had been him to do this. After many months of therapy and another lifetime supply of pills handed to him he had taken one too many and that large crack had finally formed into a hole.
Of course, I climbed out. I was met by my counterpart's face of fear and I knew this was my chance. If it was not me who had killed her, it was him. He was basically me, so why not? He deserved it. Not only for killing my dear Erika but also for keeping me in that prison of a skull of his.
We battled and long and epic battle. It had begun to become so very outrageous to where hallucinations became reality and reality became hallucinations. I was him and he was me. There were two and three and four of us. Over six billion against one and one alone to battle his inner demons.
…
Now, I had grown weak. So very weak from all the tears and emotions that surrounded and chained me as I grew up from my childhood. I was never prepared to fight myself and learn the truth and I most certainly never will be. He took one fatal swing at me with the knife and I was surely dead. In the last moments of my life, I picked the blood up from my veins and spelled the one that ran through them.
Forever, amongst this wall, will your name remain,
Erika.