This is a rewrite of a story I posted in 2008, which makes me feel terribly old. The general content is the same, but has been edited for style. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: All characters, settings, etc. belong to J. K. Rowling and the numerous publishers of Harry Potter.
Ginny Weasley stumbled out of the floo into 12 Grimmauld Place clutching her hand to her chest. With cat-like reflexes, Harry Potter flew from his high backed chair across the room, wand extended, catching her elbow before she could crash into the antique cocktail table in front of the fireplace – not that it would have been such a great loss. She leaned forward, sinking to her knees next to the coffee table to catch her breath.
"What is it? Are you hurt? Is someone after you?"
Harry's eyes darted to the fireplace, still crackling with emerald green flames. He kept one hand on Ginny's shoulder, but held his wand towards the fire.
Ginny wheezed and started to pull herself up using the table but dropped back down onto her heels. Her chest heaved in and out and her head shook.
Harry turned away from the fire as the green light faded and gripped Ginny's shoulders.
"Ginny. Talk to me. What's going on?"
She turned to face him, cheeks red, with tears in her eyes – and she started laughing.
Harry sat back, dumbfounded and annoyed, as she crawled towards his chair and threw herself into it, laughing uncontrollably.
"Was that supposed to be some kind of joke? Because I don't get it, Gin. What the hell? You scared me half to death."
"Sorry," she managed, wiping away a tear from her eyes. "It's just – sweet Merlin – you're not even going to believe me when I tell you."
"Tell me what?" he snapped.
She giggled a few more moments ignoring the dark looks he was sending her. He gruffly hand her a glass of water and she choked some of it down.
"Thank you. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to startle you. Bloody hell, have I got a story for you, Harry Potter."
She leaned forward and pushed her hair back out of her eyes. He stood a few feet away, arms folded across his chest.
"Well, if you're just going to stand there looking cross at me, maybe I won't tell you after all."
He rolled his eyes and kissed her on the cheek.
"Better?"
"Moderately. You might want to sit down for this, though."
His eyes narrowed.
"Don't worry, it has nothing to do with you or me. Everyone's fine and safe, but really, love, you need to sit down."
He lifted her feet of the plush footstool near the chair and sat down, situating her legs on top of his knees. He raised an eyebrow to show her he had complied with her request.
"Gods, I don't even know where to begin."
"How about where you've been all day. I thought we were going to have lunch together."
She frowned.
"I told you last week I had plans for lunch today. And I reminded your secretary yesterday. Did you not look at your calendar? You know what, it doesn't matter. We can talk about that later."
"Fine. But I did look at my calendar, I'll have you know."
"I suppose it started this morning. I went to Hogwarts to pick up Hermione so we could look at wedding dresses – and no, I'm not going to tell you whether I picked one out. She had classes until three in the afternoon, so I dropped in on Neville for a while and had a cup of tea with Hagrid – they're both doing brilliantly, by the way."
"Is Neville still seeing that palm reader?"
"No actually. He wouldn't give me much information, but rumor around Hogwarts is that he's been shagging Hannah Abbott."
"You're joking."
"It's just a rumor, but he seemed awfully happy about something and I doubt it was the venomous tentacula he was repotting."
Harry sat back, rubbing his hands up and down her leg.
"Good on Neville."
"That's what I thought, too. Anyway, it got to be around lunchtime, so I left the greenhouses and went to the Great Hall. It was weird sitting up at the head table. I don't know how Hermione has ever gotten used to it. I sat down in the empty seat next to hers and started eating.
"So, we're sitting there chatting about what the flowers are going to look like at the wedding and such, when all of the sudden –" she paused, shaking her head, "You and Ron would have been rolling on the floor laughing if you had been there to witness it. The doors burst open and Snape comes stalking in like a bat, waving his wand around like a madman.
"He's swearing under his breath and students are scrambling to get out of the way – I've never seen Hufflepuffs move so quickly. He gets up to the head table and McGonagall is giving him this terrifying look, but he ignores her, conjures a chair, and shoves it right between Hermione and me."
"What on earth?"
"I know. And Hermione just looks up from her food and smiles at him like he's her favorite person in the world. He looks like he's going to murder her, mind you, wand still out and shaking in his hand.
"So I'm just sitting there, staring at my food and he says to her, 'weren't you supposed to be somewhere an hour ago, Granger?' And she says, 'I don't recall, Severus. Perhaps you could remind me.'
"Snape starts snarling and sputtering and Hermione puts her hand on his wand to lower it to the table. He mutters a bunch of gibberish about how no one showed up somewhere and he had to go alone."
"And what were you doing?"
"I was just sitting there like an idiot trying to decide if I was going to have to restrain him. Finally Hermione suggested they go out into the corridor to discuss it because he was making such a scene. I follow along because there's no way I'm leaving her alone with him.
"We get out into the empty hallway and Hermione makes some comment about how he needs to slow down and stop acting like Frankie First Year –"
Harry puts his hand over his mouth.
"She didn't!"
"Oh, she did. That's when he starts hexing her. She deflected the first few, but they were flying so fast there was little she could do but duck behind a statue of armor. Neville and Flitwick showed up because of all the noise Snape was making. I was able to disarm him and Neville and Flitwick wrestled him into that room off the entrance hall where the first years get the talk from Professor McGonagall."
"Is Hermione okay?"
"She's fine. He barely hit her and the hexes were pretty weak. She's missing a big chunk of hair, but it'll hardly show."
"What was he thinking? Do you think he'll be sacked?"
"It was like he finally lost his marbles. Flitwick gets him to settle down a bit and Hermione sits in a chair next to the fireplace, frazzled, but fine. Flitwick asks Snape why he is acting like an adolescent and Snape just mutters, 'ask the witch.'
"Hermione rolls her eyes and says, 'honestly, Severus. It was a mistake.' She looks at us and says, 'We were supposed to go on an errand together today and I forgot.'
"None of us are really convinced by that, but Hermione stands up and says she has classes to prep for. She apologizes to him and he says something foul under his breath and leaves."
"This story doesn't make any sense. What errand would Snape be going on with Hermione?"
"Oh, it will make sense in a little while. Just wait. Hermione goes off to class and I take a nostalgic spin around the quidditch pitch on a beat up Comet 260."
"How was it?"
"Cold and exhilarating. Anyway, it's about a quarter to three and I figure I'll get changed in Hermione's office before we go to Diagon Alley. I go down to the dungeons and her yelling. It's pretty obviously Hermione and Snape again, so I run down the corridor to make sure she's okay. I stop in the doorway and all I can see is his wand at Hermione's neck like he's going to kill her.
"I fumble around for my wand – I have to figure out a better place to keep it in my quidditch robes – and in the time it takes me to pull it out, I realize he hasn't killed her. He – they're – bloody hell, how do I – "
The floo suddenly burned green and Hermione herself came flying into the room covered in soot.
"Ginny, thank Merlin. I've been through four different floos looking for you. Oh, hi Harry. You haven't told him anything about our, erm, outing, have you?"
Harry stood, placing Ginny's feet back on the footstool. His green eyes darkened.
"Tell me what?"
Hermione stiffened, staring at Ginny with wide eyes.
"Tell me what, Hermione?"
"Uh, about finding her a dress?"
Harry folded his arms across his chest. Hermione closed her eyes and hung her head with a sigh. Ginny mouthed "sorry" over his shoulder.
"I know you didn't go dress shopping because it's only half four. What happened down in the dungeons today?"
Hermione looked as if she wanted to step back into the fireplace and melt. She wrung her hands together and bit her lip.
"Well, you see. It's all sort of a big secret. And Ginny wasn't exactly meant to see what she did. And I think it would be best for all parties involved if –"
Harry held up his hand and turned back to his fiancée.
"Ginny, what did you see?"
"Hermione was kissing Snape," she blurted, throwing her hand over her mouth as soon as the words came out.
Hermione groaned and plopped down on the sofa near the fire.
Whatever twisted answer Harry had been expecting, that hadn't been it. He gave a choking sound and spun to stare at Hermione.
"She what?"
Ginny winced.
"So, I'm standing in the doorway with my wand drawn and he pins her up against the wall and starts kissing her. And he says, 'you stood me up, Granger' in that, uh, voice of his."
"That sounds like Snape kissed Hermione not the other way around."
Ginny snickered. "Oh, I assure you, it looked pretty mutual to me."
"Ginny!"
"Sorry, Hermione. Guess the kneazle's out of the bag on this one."
Hermione bit her lip as Harry rounded the coffee table on her.
"It's not what you think, Harry. It's not like I've been keeping this from you all a long time. Well, just a few months –"
"A few months?" asked Ginny. "You've been shagging your former professor for a few months and you never said anything?"
"Woah! No one said anything about shagging," said Harry. "God, I'll never get that image out of my mind. I'm sure what Hermione was trying to say was that this was just some kind of one off thing. Or maybe someone slipped her a love potion – "
"Well – "
"Hermione!" Ginny and Harry said in unison.
"It's … a bit more serious than that, I'm afraid. You see, the reason he was so cross with me was that I stood him up flat hunting and he had to speak to the muggle letting agent alone and it went understandably poorly. I forgot Ginny was coming and I didn't want to reschedule dress shopping because it's such an important part of your wedding –"
"You're moving in with Snape?"
"I'm – I'm in love with him."
"I need to sit down," said Harry.
"Told you so," said Ginny.
"I'm going to need a few minutes to process all of this. What happened after you walked in on them?"
"I knocked over a tray of potions and Snape had me in a full body bind before the tray hit the ground."
"He was startled," said Hermione quickly as Harry tensed. "He didn't mean anything by it."
"Yeah, he released me as soon as he saw who it was. They startled quarrelling again, and I ran for it."
"Why him?"
Hermione stared at her shoes and shook her head.
"I don't know, exactly. It happened very gradually. He would come down to the potions classroom and use my ingredients – without permission. We would argue and he would criticize the way I was doing my marking, but he kept coming a few days a week. Eventually we developed a symbiotic working relationship: he helped me brew potions for Madame Pomfrey and I edited a book on defense that he's trying to have published. And then –" She shrugged. "We understand each other."
"He hexed you!"
"He didn't really. He never would have hit me. You know him. He get's worked up over stupid little things sometimes."
"I can't say I get it," said Ginny, "but he does have that voice, though. And those long fingers – "
Hermione smirked at her.
Harry put his hands over his ears. "I can't listen to this."
Hermione became serious again. "Could I just ask you both to keep this a secret a bit longer? At least until I prep Severus and let all of our friends hear it from me."
Harry started chuckling.
"What?" asked Hermione.
His laughter grew louder and he doubled over in his seat. Ginny bit back her own laugh as Hermione tried to figure out what had him so amused.
"Seriously, am I missing something?"
Harry grabbed her hand, wiping a tear from his eye as he
"I tell you what. Ginny and I will forgive you for keeping this rather disturbing secret from us –"
"For months, mind you," added Ginny.
"Yes, for months."
"Go on…" said Hermione.
Harry gave another burst of laughter and grinned at Hermione with a mischievous gleam in his eye.
"As long as we get to be there when you tell Ron."