Request by Kimchi. You are crazy, mate.

There was a sound downstairs, which woke Allen at once. There had been a string on break-in's in his area of Canberra, and Allen was not going to let anyone take the gifts he had set out for the New Zealander that was asleep next to him. Moving to stand from his bed, walking to his bedroom door, grabbing the cricket bat from the wall beside the door, he slowly walked toward the sitting room where his tree was.

Looking around the corner, bat at the ready for anything. His eyes laid on the Santa clad theft, and sneered in disgust. Using his skills of sneaking, Allen inched his way closer to the man in red, and gripped his bat. With one quick swing, there was a resounding crack. The cricket bat hit the floor, and Allen panted, looking down at the limp body of the would-be Santa. He turned the man over, then his eyes shot wide.

"Tino!" Allen fell back, and looked toward the tree. There were more gifts than he had laid out the night before. Allen cursed into the back of his hand, then shook his head a few times. "Fuck... Fuck... I ruined Christmas! FUCK! Tino! Wake up, Mate! Tino!"

Sadly, Tino was out cold, his head taking a hit that would have won Australia the cricket world cup. Allen scooped up the Finnish man, and ran around his couch a few times in a panic, before moving to lay him down on the couch gently. Allen didn't know what to do, he was unsure what he was more afraid of. The fact that he ruined Christmas, or Berwald's reaction to knowing that the Aussie broke a Cricket bat over his precious Tino's head.

Tino's eyes opened, and he slowly sat up, holding his head, "Perkele, Allen." Tino grumbled, then laid back down in pain. "I... I can't see anything but stars."

"Can I get you some Nurofen? Panadol?" Allen offered, then looked dejected at the Finnish lad, "I'm soooo sorry. I thought you were stealing my gifts! There have been thefts all over Canberra this year..."

Tino sat up long enough to peel off his jacket and hold it out to the Australian. Allen looked at the coat, then at the man, "Oh, hell no. I saw Tim Allen's movie. I'm not becoming Santa..."

"What? NO! Just finish Australia for me." Tino looked at Allen like he was insane.

Allen looked at Tino, perplexed and unsure, "Will the reindeer even listen to me?" He knew he had to do that, but lord help him. He was going to suck up to Berwald for the next century now, just to save his ass from being kicked by that scary as man.

"They know what to do... Alfred did the same to me a few years ago. I should be on my toes more... Just come back when you are done, and I'll be fine..." Tino laid himself back down, then looked at Allen with a raised brow, "Mind telling me why Benjamin is here and not at home?"

Allen flushed and looked to the side, muttering under his breath. Tino just smiled warmly, and sighed softly, "Don't worry so much. You made his Christmas wish come true, now you can make all the children of your country's come true, too."

Allen sighed, still blushing some, "Okay... Okay... Just take it easy..." He pulled on the jacket and snagged the hat from the ground, then walked toward his door, looking back at Finland, "There is Panadol in the medicine cabinet..." then walked outside with Tino's sack, ready to save Christmas.

"This could be a movie..." Allen grumbled, spotting the reindeer and sled. He lofted a brow and shook his head some, "Tino, you go all out for Christmas..." The animals looked at the Australian, then each other, just to snort at the man.

"Okay, guys, look. I didn't know it was Tino, I just want to deliver these gifts to all the kids on the list and get home so I can have a Christmas with my family... Can we do that?" Allen pleaded with the deer, both whom looked at the man again. The lack of a snort, and the Reindeer lining up properly told Allen they would work with him. Climbing into the sled. Before he could settle, he was in the air, holding on to his hat and holding the reins tightly.

He had no idea how this was possible, but here he was playing Santa for Tino.

Several hours passed, and Allen was at the last house on the list in Darwin, with a smile on his lips. Soon he could be back in bed with his Kiwi, and happy. Climbing into the sled, he sat back as they took off like a bullet. He was still not used to the take off after a few hours, but he wouldn't have to deal with it again... After a few moments, he paused. It smelt liked... salt water. Looking over the side of the sled, Allen looked at the deer, "Woah! Woah! Hey! You were supposed to take me home! Why are we going to the Philippines!"

To Allen's disdain, he realised he was doing Tino's job for the night. No if ands or butts. He was Santa this year. And needless to say, he was none to happy with this fact.

Benjamin woke alone, and wondered if Allen had taken off to the tree without him. Walking to the sitting room, he saw not Allen's dark brown hair, but silvery blond. "Tino?" Ben's suspicions were awarded with the Finnish man turning to smile at the Kiwi, "Merry Christmas, Benjamin."

"Where is Allen?" Ben asked, looking worried at the man who was Santa.

"Probably in China by now if he's going fast enough..."

"WHAT!"

Tino smiled warmly and folded his hands in his lap, "Now you and I can chat while we wait for him. He'll probably be here tomorrow afternoon. I hope I didn't ruin your christmas..."

"Wait... He's playing Santa for you!" Benjamin looked at Tino in shock.

"Don't look so dejected... I was planning for you to do it this year, but you were here, and Allen hit me so I sent him instead."

Ben just stood there in silence, shaking in rage. After a long second, Ben snapped, "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

A day without sleep, delivering gifts around the world... Allen landed the sleigh outside his house and dragged himself inside, still in the coat, exhausted, "Tino... I'm done..." There was a flash of light, and the Kiwi waiting for him with a huge glass of coffee and a warm smile.

"I kicked Tino out for tricking you into doing his job..." Benjamin told him softly.

Allen blinked a few times, then his eyes widened, "T-Tricked... I just delivered 7 billion toys... without needing TO!" Oh... he was going to kill Tino. Fuck off sucking up to Berwald, he'd take the beatings to kick Tino's arse.

"Calm down, Roo Rooter. Go sleep. You need it. You can get Tino back later..." Benjamin smiled and rubbed the Australian's arms, "How did you deliver seven billion gifts?"

Allen shook his head and smiled meekly, "Tino doesn't deliver to every child... Just those who wouldn't get anything otherwise... It's actually endearing, and kinda opens your eyes. Some of these kids live in the worst conditions."

Ben blinked a few times, then smiled softly, "Maybe it was not such a bad thing, aye?"

"Maybe... Can I sleep now? I'm exhausted..."

"Go sleep. We'll have Christmas when you wake up." Benjamin kissed the Australian's cheek.

Author Notes:

LOL WHAT EVEN. This is just going to get weirder.

Requests are open, still.

Please review.