Letter from Mr. Collins to Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy congratulating them on their recent marriage
Dear Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, or should I now say Mr. and Mrs. Darcy?
I would just like to take the time out of my very busy schedule to congratulate you two on your recent marriage. Although I previously had very much loved you, Mrs. Darcy, I assure you that I do love my dear Charlotte more now. I am sure your wedding was wonderful, but not as wonderful as ours. I had heard from your mother, Mrs. Darcy, that your dress and ceremony were quite beautiful, and it went off without a hitch, Mrs. Darcy.
With all of the recent gossip around town about your wedding, I have begun to reminisce about my own wedding to my dear Charlotte. I can remember the day just as if it were yesterday. Ah, how wonderful that day was! What a fancy feast we had afterwards! It was the best day of my life. Mrs. Catherine de Bourgh made an appearance to wish us the best and to ask us to dinner later in the week. Of course we had accepted and it was divine. She serves us the best food I have ever eaten! It is always a pleasure when we are privileged enough to dine with her. It is so nice to have her so close to us, although she has had created some separation from us lately. We still regularly attend dinner at her household and I see her after church occasionally.
Please excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, I do have a confession to make. I cannot take keeping the truth from you for any longer. I know the reason creating such separation between Lady Catherine and Charlotte and I. I am the largest reason for the separation. Although her social status has allowed me to have many more friends of high social statuses, Lady Catherine's disapproval of your wedding has caused me to question some of her ideals.
I feel as though the wedding is a perfect match, almost as perfect a match as Charlotte and me. We could not be happier together, as I had mentioned before, and it could not have been possible without your rejection of my hand Mrs. Darcy. The difference of opinion between Lady Catherine and I has caused a gap to come between us. Well at least I believe that is the reason we have been pushed apart I cannot imagine another reason our friendship could be strained! There is nothing that Mrs. Collins or I have done that I could render an excuse for the detachment between the de Bourgh's and the Collins'.
Due to this awkward stage in the friendship between Lady Catherine and I it would be appreciated if you two would be able to visit in the near future. I would like to meet the new member of my family and get to know him better and to finally see the reason that you, Elizabeth, had refused my hand. It seems so long ago! So much has changed since then. Since then Charlotte and I have created a wonderful, humble abode for us. We have become even more accustomed to each others company that we were when you, Mrs. Darcy had spent a few weeks with us visiting. Charlotte was so happy you came. You should come again soon! I'm sure that if the two of you came and visited Mrs. Collins and I, Lady Catherine would love to see you both. Maybe your visit could ease the tension between Lady Catherine and I, and maybe it will prove that you two are meant for each other.
By the by, we are happy to have found out recently that she is pregnant! Oh how wonderfully excited we are about the news! We could not be happier! Now you must come to visit! I will mark the calendar for next fortnight!
-Mr. Collins