Izuru was tediously going through paperwork collected from the rest of his squad and from previous Lieutenant Meetings when his captain, Gin came in grumbling about something. Gin took a seat next to Izuru at the paper-covered table and buried his face in his arms. "Is there something wrong, Taichou?" Izuru asked.
Gin turned his head over to his Lieutenant, taking a deep sigh. "It's Rangiku. She disobeyed very strict orders not to go into the newly discovered area of Hueco Mundo. And now she's in deep shit; especially with the Captain-Commander. If only Komamura-taichou wasn't the one to find her…"
Izuru gave his captain a worried look. "What's going to happen to Matsumoto-san?"
"I don't know, Kira. They're still figuring that out. And that's what's worrying me. She could lose everything she's worked for; even her life. And I'm not sure I can even help…" He buried his face again, shaking a bit.
Izuru put a reassuring hand on Gin's shoulder. "Taichou, is there anything I might be able to do to help? Matsumoto-san is also a friend of mine, so…"
Gin sat up and pushed Izuru's hand away. "No. If I, as a Captain, can't do anything, then I'm positive that you, as a Lieutenant, can't."
Izuru gave Gin a worried look. "But Captain! There's got to be something we can do to help her!"
Gin opened his eyes to glare at Izuru. "Her punishment is already being discussed. We can't do anything and I refuse to argue with you about it."
Izuru was shocked. "So you're just going to give up on her? I thought she was your friend! Do you not care about her, sir?" Izuru said, his voice rising with each word.
Gin glared harder at Izuru and stood up. "I care more about her than you can imagine. But I can't help her. Now I'm finished talking about this. The discussion is over," he flatly said, starting towards the door.
"What if it was me?" Gin stopped in his tracks. "Would you just give up on me like you are with Matsumoto-san?" Gin was frozen, his back still turned to Izuru. "Because from what you're saying, it sounds like your willing to throw anything away; despite 'caring' about it." Gin turned to Izuru and gave him a cold, warning look to shut up. "You're just trying to cover up your true feelings with false affection. You're lying when you say you care about Matsumoto-san, aren't you?"
Gin turned around, using Shunpo to pin Izuru to the wall in a deadly grip. "Remember who you're talking to Lieutenant...I don't appreciate you making assumptions when you don't even know the situation at hand," he growled.
"You're giving up on someone you care about. That's the situation at hand. If you won't even fight for a friend, how will I know you'll fight for me? It's the same principle," Izuru said, quietly.
Gin eyed Izuru silently, letting him down and stepping back. "I…I'm sorry you feel that way…" he said with monotone. Izuru looked away from his Captain, hiding his face behind his long, blonde bangs. Gin spoke up first. "I would fight for her, as a matter of fact. She's my best friend and I really care about her. But for right now I'm going to let Captain Hitsugaya handle it...And if he can't..." He looked away in frustration.
"See? You're not even going to try! That's what I'm talking about. You'll let other people do your bidding so you won't have to get your own hands dirty," Izuru said, making Gin's eyebrow twitch in annoyance.
"You're really starting to get on my nerves, Izuru," Gin warned, clutching his fists in restraint.
"Good! Then that means I'm finally knocking some sense into you! I am so sick and tired of this, Ichimaru! I am so sick of feeling like I can't trust you! Can't rely on you! Can't LOVE you! I am done!" Izuru shouted. "And I bet Matsumoto-san feels the same way." That did it. Gin came up to Izuru and slapped him right across the face; the sound of his hand making contact with Izuru's cheek echoing in the room.
Izuru fell to the floor in a motionless lump. Gin looked at his red and in shock, and then looked back to Izuru in guilt. Izuru looked up to his Captain, teary-eyed and holding his cheek. Gin stared back with regret. "Izuru…I didn't mean to…" He held out his hand in an attempt to help Izuru up. Izuru backed away, looking at Gin in fear and disappointment. Gin was stopped in surprise. "Please…don't look at me like that…" Izuru continued to stare back in fear as a tear escaped his eye. Gin could clearly see the heartbreak that Izuru was feeling. "Izuru…"
Izuru had no idea what to say. Gin tried to reach for Izuru again. But Izuru just backed up all the way to the wall. "No. Don't touch me," he whispered, his voice cracking from the tears.
Gin's eyes shone with the promise of tears. "But…"
"No, Ichimaru. Just…" Izuru stood up and walked past Gin to leave. Gin quickly turned around and grabbed Izuru's wrist.
"Wait a second!" Izuru turned to Gin, who saw the hurt in his teal blue eyes. Gin slowly dropped Izuru's hand as he turned away. "…Izuru Kira, don't you dare leave me!" Izuru turned to face Gin from the doorway. He saw the regret in Gin's eyes and the tears that threatened to fall. He turned away from Gin's gaze and walked away. "Oh god…what the hell did I just do…?"
-SPACE-
Izuru was walking around the Seireitei with his head down when he ran into Renji, Momo, and Shuuhei. "Hey Kira! Where're you heading?" Renji asked.
Izuru looked up, taking a moment to realize what Renji was asking. He shook his head slowly and muttered, "No where."
"Kira-kun, are you okay? You look like you've been crying," Momo said with a worried expression.
"It's nothing…I just…." Izuru looked away, tears threatening to fall once more.
"…We were heading to the bar, if you wanted to come with," Shuuhei suggested.
"The bar…?" Izuru thought for a moment. He wasn't much of a drinker, but he guessed a drink would be exactly what he need. "Sure. That would be nice."
Renji noticed the smirk that played on Izuru's lips. "Wait, Hisagi-san, are you sure it's such a good idea for him to come with us?" Momo, ignoring him, came up to Izuru, taking his hand and giving him a heartwarming smile. Izuru half-heartedly smiled back. "Kira, are you sure? I mean, you don't have to come."
Kira turned to Renji and glared at him. "I said I'm going, Abarai-kun. Now stop."
"So what happened, Kira-kun? Did you hear about Rangiku-san?" Momo asked, taking a seat next to Renji.
"Well sort of….Ichimaru-taichou told me and well….we kind of got into a fight," Izuru mumbled.
Shuuhei stared at Izuru in disbelief. "…No way…You and the Captain? That doesn't sound like him at all."
"Yeah, well…." Izuru took a deep, shaky sigh. "I don't know…" He then took a swig of his sake.
"Kira-kun, I-…" Momo started. She quickly shut her mouth, not knowing what to say.
Shuuhei put a reassuring hand on Izuru's shoulder. "Why don't we all go visit Matsumoto-san in Squad 2's holding cells? It might help you feel better…" he suggested.
Izuru contemplated his offer for a moment. "Nah…I wouldn't know what to say, anyway. But thanks, Hisagi," he said, taking the hand placed on his shoulder.
"Well, Abarai-kun and I'll go see her! She can't be enjoying herself with Omaeda-san as company," Momo said, taking Renji's arm in her. "See you guys later!" She then dragged Renji out behind her. Izuru stared at his drink, apparently not even noticing they left.
"Kira…" Shuuhei took Izuru's soft hand in his own.
Izuru gripped back gently. "It's okay…I'll be fine." He took another sip of his drink. "Though I'm not sure I'll want to go back to my barracks tonight. Ichimaru-taichou might come and try to talk to me again. I just don't think I can handle it right now…"
"…Y-You could always stay with me in the Squad 9 barracks. There's an extra bedroom that no one's using," Shuuhei offered hopefully.
Izuru looked up at him with a bit of surprise and confusion. He then smiled softly, making Shuuhei blush, and whispered, "Sure. I'd like that." Izuru then scooted his seat closer to Shuuhei. Shuuhei smiled and scooted over a bit, as well. Izuru rested his head on Shuuhei's shoulder. Shuuhei took this opportunity to lift Izuru's chin up for a kiss.
"Bakudo 30: Shitotsu Sansen." Shuuhei was then suddenly pinned against the wall by Kido. Izuru looked from the direction of the attack. "Ichimaru-taichou?"
"What the hell? What are you doing?" Shuuhei shouted. Gin ignored him and stared Izuru down with his icy blue eyes.
"Just what do you think you're doing?" he asked flatly.
"What am I doing? The hell are YOU doing? Hisagi has done nothing wrong!" Izuru shouted.
Gin raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And I suppose trying to kiss someone when they're drinking isn't 'wrong'?"
"….I wasn't drinking anything then, smart one," Izuru somewhat spat, Hisagi still shouting for Gin to let him down.
Gin chuckled darkly. "Yes well, we wouldn't want you getting caught up in anything, now would we?" He then let Shuuhei down, who fell to the floor hard. "Come along now, Kira." Izuru looked at Gin then quickly got up to help Shuuhei. Gin stared in disbelief at his Lieutenant while silently fuming with anger and frustration.
Shuuhei gave Izuru a genuine smile as he whispered his thanks. Izuru smiled back then turned an angry glare towards Gin. "…Are you done, Kira?"
"Yes. With you! I'm tired of you letting me down, Taichou! Hisagi NEVER did that!" Izuru said, taking Shuuhei's hand. Shuuhei stood in front of Izuru not only to get him to shut up, but also to protect him. "Hisagi…"
Gin smiled in a way that words can't describe. Let's just say that it would make a guy like Mayuri shit his pants. "Fine. I see you've made you're decision. But remember this, Lieutenant," Izuru gulped but held his ground, "I did warn you…" He then turned and left the bar.
Izuru started trembling. Shuuhei turned around and wrapped the blonde in his arms. "It's alright, Kira. Everything's going to be okay. I promise." Izuru hugged back and let out a small whimper. 'What do I do…?' "Listen, Kira. You're going to stay with me. Not in the spare bedroom, but with me in my quarters."
"Hisagi….But….I…" Izuru muttered in fail protest.
"No ifs, ands, or buts. Don't you trust me?"
"Of course!" Hisagi smirked in his clear victory. "Fine. But only for a bit." Hisagi then took Izuru's hand and led him to his quarters.
-MORE SPACE-
Hisagi slid open the door to his quarters, Izuru stepping in and looking around. "You have a nice place here, Hisagi."
Hisagi shrugged and closed the door behind him. "I try. Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to set up a futon for you in the next room," he said walking off. Izuru walked over to the dresser placed across the room. He picked up a picture that caught his eye and was surprised at what it was.
'These are all of us when we were in school…' He picked up a few of the others. 'Did we really hang out this much…?'
"I see you found the pictures," Shuuhei said, placing a hand on Izuru's shoulder and startling him. He dropped the picture but quickly caught it before it hit the ground.
"Why are you so nervous? It's just me."
"I-I'm not…I just…You just scared me, that's all," Izuru stuttered.
Hisagi playfully smirked. "I'm not buying it, Kira. You're stuttering."
Izuru hid behind his bangs. "Fine…I thought you were Ichimaru-taichou…"
Hisagi's smirk turned into a frown. "You thought I was….Does he scare you that much?"
Izuru took a shaky breath. "Usually, no…I actually do love him very much…But now, with everything going on with Matsumoto-san…I just feel like he's too unstable and that anything can happen…That's what I', scared of…"
"Yeah…I can understand that…" Shuuhei turned and sat on the love seat.
"I just wish I knew what he was thinking…"
"Ya know, Kira, I've never been able to figure him out. But if he really cared then why'd he hurt you? I'd never…" Shuuhei stopped then looked away from Izuru's gaze.
"Sometimes I think he's just toying with me…just to get a laugh or two…" Izuru said, his voice shaking. Shuuhei stayed silent. "What should I do, Hisagi? I can't just hide here forever…"
Shuuhei shook his head. "I don't know…but I wouldn't want you to get hurt anymore."
Izuru took sat down and curled up next to Shuuhei. "Please…at least for now…"
Shuuhei wrapped an arm around the blonde, pulling him closer. "Alright…"
Tears started flowing down Izuru's cheeks. "What do I do…? Gin-san…" Shuuhei wiped the tears off his face as he whispered soothing words of nothing into Izuru's ear. Izuru eventually cried himself to sleep.
Shuuhei carried Izuru to the futon he set up and put him to bed. "…Damn."
"So how's it going, Hisagi-kun?" Shuuhei quickly turned to see Gin standing in the doorway, a playful grin on his betraying face.
Shuuhei sent a warning glare his way. "Ichimaru-taichou…"
"Now, now," Gin said with his hands raised up defensively. "I just came to see how Kira was doing."
"He's fine, but I highly doubt he wants you around right now."
"Nonsense. He loves it when I'm around."
"Not when he's so upset that he cries himself to sleep, SIR. And it seems to me like you don't give a damn about his feelings," Shuuhei spat.
Gin opened his eyes to give Shuuhei a more frightening glare. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"I don't? Then why is he scared shitless to show his true feelings in front of anyone? It's because he knows that you're just going to mess with his heart again!" Shuuhei remarked.
Gin looked away from Shuuhei's hate-filled gaze. "You think I don't know that…? I just want the chance to fix it… You have no idea how badly I want that chance…" Gin whispered.
Shuuhei stared at Gin in confusion. "Ichimaru-taichou. Why did you hurt Kira?"
"You say it like I meant to. I was just upset about Rangiku. He just wouldn't shut up and I just... He was right, though. I wouldn't fight for my best friend. He has the right not to trust me. He has the right not to believe in me. He should never have fallen in love with someone like me. And I shouldn't have fallen in love with him. Then maybe, I wouldn't have caused him so much pain..." Gin admitted.
Shuuhei's expression softened. "I guess I really didn't know what was going on…" It then turned into anger. "But that still didn't give you the right to hurt him!"
Gin looked back up to glare at Shuuhei. "Just who do you think you're talking to?" he growled.
"The jack ass that hurt my beloved Kira!" he declared.
"Your Kira? I don't think so," Gin chuckled.
"Well there's no way in hell I'd let him be yours!"
"Heh. Then I guess you leave me no choice. I'll have to take him from you," Gin said, unsheathing his Zanpakutou.
Shuuhei did the same. "If fighting's the only way to get you to stop hurting Kira, then s o be it." Suddenly, Izuru jumped up from his futon and stood in between the two men.
"No! …Don't do this…" Hisagi stepped towards him and petted his head.
"It's alright, Kira. I won't lose you to the likes of him…" He then lifted up Izuru's long bangs and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"Kira!" Izuru turned to see Gin looking determined. "I won't give up on you! I WILL fight for you!" he promised. Izuru looked between them in tears.
"No, you're not listening…I don't-…" Izuru's sentence was cut off from the sound of Shuuhei being thrown into the wall across the room. "Hisagi!"
"Kira…" Izuru turned back to his Captain. "Please just stay out of the way. I don't want you getting hurt…" He then took a lock of his hair and inhaled Izuru's warm scent. He then used Shunpo and was gone. "Taichou, wait!"
Shuuhei was crawling out of a pile of rubble when Gin arrived. "Damn…didn't expect you to attack that early." He threw another rock across the room off of him. "You could've hit Kira, bastard!"
"If Kira was in danger, then I wouldn't have attacked. Now draw your sword!" Gin retorted.
Shuuhei stood up and unsheathed his Zanpakutou. "Come and get me, Ichimaru!"
Gin quickly used Shunpo and appeared behind Shuuhei, sword held firmly against his throat. "You really think you're on par with a Captain, don't you?"
"Of course not. But that doesn't mean I can't try!" He then elbowed Gin in the stomach and used the slim opportunity to Shunpo away.
Gin breathed a light sigh. "And I hoped we could settle this quickly." He then turned to Izuru, watching the battle from the hole in the wall. "I'll be back for you." He then used Shunpo to follow Shuuhei. Izuru didn't want to just sit there, so he used Shunpo to follow the other two. He arrived just as the battle started; both of them already whacking their Zanpakutou at each other. "You can't win, Hisagi! Just give up!" Gin swung his sword again.
Shuuhei quickly blocked it and pushed Gin off of him. "Never…!"
Gin let out this crazy, maniacal laugh. "Kill them all! Shinsou!" He then went into Shikai.
"So we're playing it like that, eh? Reap! Kazeshini!" Shuuhei then also went into Shikai. Now the battle was really starting. Gin extended his sword, taking a clear shot right to Shuuhei's chest. Just then, something stopped Gin's blade.
It was Izuru.
Gin and Shuuhei both stopped; feelings of hate for each other replaced by fear and worry for their friend. They were paralyzed. Izuru's eyes started shutting and his body started plummeting to the ground. "IZURU!" Gin threw himself down and used Shunpo to match with the speed of Izuru falling. Gin quickly caught him and brought his body to a halt in midair. "Izuru! Izuru, say something!" he called, shaking Izuru's still body. He wouldn't move. "Dammit!" He then Shunpoed his way to Squad 4.
Shuuhei finally snapped out of it, realizing what had just happened. "…Kira!" He frantically searched for his fallen lover, but couldn't find him. "Dammit!" He then went to Squad 4.
-EVEN MORE SPACE-
Gin paced back and forth across the waiting room, not able to sit down, while Unohana operated on his fallen Lieutenant. Suddenly, the doors slammed open, but Gin didn't seem to notice.
"Where is he? Where's Kira?" Shuuhei shouted. Lieutenant Isane came up to him and signaled for him to calm down. "Unohana-taichou is working on him right now. I'm going to have to ask you to wait out here, Hisagi-san." Shuuhei nodded, Isane then walking back into Izuru's operating room. He looked over near the door to see Gin pacing. "You," he growled. He stormed over to Gin and picked him up buy the collar of his hakama. "This is all YOUR fault!"
Gin just frowned sadly. "Lieutenant Hisagi. Even after what happened, you still want to argue about this…?" Hisagi growled at him, throwing him into a chair in frustration then walking over to the other side of the room.
An agonizing hour later, Unohana finally came out of the room. Gin bolted up and rushed over to hear the news. "Unohana-taichou?"
Unohana smiled. "He's fine, Ichimaru-taichou." Her expression fell into a worried frown. "But, his injuries were caused by Shinsou, weren't they…?" Gin looked away from her gaze and clutched his fists in anger. He then whispered is confirmation. "Alright then. Lieutenant Kira's injury wasn't as serious as it looked. It was actually a miracle that the blade missed his vital organs. He will be asleep for about a day, but after that he should be fine."
Gin's face lit up with relief. "R-Really?" He then went back into serious mode. "Well, II have some work to get done. Would it be too much trouble to send someone when he wakes up?"
"Not at all. Now, I have other patients to attend to, but feel free to come back with any questions." Gin bowed in thanks as Unohana left with Isane at her side. Gin then turned around to leave only to be stopped by Shuuhei.
"I'll be here till he wakes up. After that, I'm gone. Ichimaru, I swear, if he EVER comes to me crying again, I WILL have your head," threatened Shuuhei.
Gin let out a playful sigh. "How troublesome. But, I will be sure to keep that in mind." He then walked past Shuuhei and left. Shuuhei then went up to a random Shinigami and asked if he could see Izuru. The Shinigami led him to Izuru's room and told him to stay as long as he wanted. Shuuhei walked in to see Izuru's motionless body wrapped up on the bed with a heart monitor hooked up and an IV attached to his arm.
Hisagi pulled up at a chair at Izuru's bedside and took his hand in his. "Oh god, Kira…I'm so sorry…I am so sorry for being such a dick…I never meant for any of this to happen…Could you ever forgive me…?" Izuru, of course, was silent. Shuuhei cried himself to sleep at Izuru's bedside.
Shuuhei woke up to loud beeping and a bunch of people shouting orders to each other. He could feel his body being carried away from Izuru. He heard one Shinigami shouting for someone to get Unohana. He heard another shout, "Hurry! He's flat lining!" which got him wide awake. "What? What's going on?"
The Shinigami moving him looked up to face him. "Lieutenant, we need to you to please leave the room, sir."
"What? But what about Kira?" Shuuhei tried to get out of the Shinigami's grasp to run back to Izuru's side, but several others came to help him and drag Shuuhei out of the room. "No, KIRA!" He saw Unohana rushing in and the doors slamming shut behind her. Shuuhei didn't like it, but he had no other choice. He quickly made his way to the Squad 3 barracks, barging into Gin's quarters. "Ichimaru-taichou!"
Gin looked up from his paperwork, letting out an annoyed sigh. "What do you want now, Hisagi-kun?"
"It's Kira! Something went wrong! You need to hurry up and get to him! NOW!" Gin swiftly stood up and rushed out of the barracks, pushing Shuuhei to the side as he did so. Shuuhei hit the wall and fell down with a thump. He sat up, spitting out some blood. "You better save him, you bastard."
-LAST SPACE-
Gin stormed into Squad 4, demanding to know where Izuru was. Unohana then came up to him and calmed him down with her death look. "Come with me." She then led him to Izuru's room. "We've stabilized him. He's breathing, but just barely. Talk to him; keep hi swill to live up." Gin nodded and walked inside. He looked around, noticing how much paler Izuru was, and how slowly the heart monitor was beeping. He walked over to Izuru's side and took his cold, almost lifeless hand in his.
"Izuru…Please stay with me…I-I need you more than you know and you have no idea how much it hurts my heart to see you like this….Oh god, I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this.." He looked at his face and brushed his other hand across his ice-cold cheek. "Izuru…please…" A tear escaped Gin's eye. "Please…I love you so much…" He then bent over Izuru and placed his warm lips over Izuru's almost dead ones in a hope-filled kiss. Suddenly, he felt fingers running through his silver hair, a bit of warmth and pressure coming from Izuru's lips, and he heard the sound of the heart monitor regulating. Surprised, Gin sat up to stare right into Izuru's dark blue eyes. "Izuru…?
Izuru smiled back softly "Hey, Gin-san…" he choked.
"Oh god! Izuru!" Gin wrapped him up in a tight embrace, earning a whimper of pain come from Izuru. He quickly let go and kept whispering words of apology.
Izuru weakly chuckled. "Gin-san, it's alright. I'm fine."
"No, no you're not! I almost killed you, Izuru! Do you know how bad that is? To know you almost killed the very thing you were trying so hard to protect? It's not alright, Izuru, it's not!" Gin shouted, his voice cracking at the threat of tears.
Kira placed his hand softly on Gin's cheek. "But you said you loved me…That's all that matters to me now…And I forgave you a long time ago…"
"You mean you…forgive me? Seriously? Even after everything that's happened…?"
Izuru smirked. "Baka! I love you way to much to hold any grudges." Gin smiled and kissed Izuru again. He was firm, yet gentle, minding Izuru's wounds; and he was holding him possessively. Izuru didn't mind. He loved the feeling of knowing that Gin loved him.
He loved the feeling of knowing he could trust Gin. Could rely on Gin. Could LOVE Gin.
He also loved the feeling of knowing he'll never feel lost again.
Co-Written with Midnight Reihima. GOD. SO MUCH DETAIL.
Characters (c) to Tite Kubo
For 100 Theme Challenge: Hold
SOOOO OOC. VERY.
But I had fun w
Anyway, Rate, Review, Fav, all that chiz. C'mon, don't leave me hanging, bro. Not cool. Atall.