I finally decided I would write this after a long deliberation on what anime to put the lyrics to. I love writing songfics, people tell me it's my forte. I got my inspiration from two things, the first being the song itself, "Dakishimentai" by Jungle Smile (Also, the ending theme to Super GALS!). The lyrics match Sakura and Sasuke's strained relationship so much! I decided to translate the Japanese lyrics to English just for you, so be grateful! My second inspiration was a slap to the face. Yup, my friend slapped me in class and said, "You better write this or I'll blow up your computer!" which promptly made me being writing (Who would want to lose all their precious files? Not me!). Well, enjoy!!
Notes: This takes place a little bit into the Naruto: Shippūden plot.
"Dakishimentai" means "I want to hold you tightly."
Thoughts are in italics and lyrics are in bold.
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Dakishimentai - I Wanted To Hold You Tightly
"He's still there in the darkness, and no matter what I do, I can't help him. I can't bear to watch as he loses himself, shrouding himself in hatred and power. I wanted to help him,
I wanted to save him from such a horrible fate.
A fate full of loneliness.
Full of sorrow.
Full of shadows.
But no matter how many times my arms outstretched towards him, I couldn't get a good hold on him. And he left.
Tears streamed down my face.
All I ever wanted to do was hold you tightly…
Sasuke-kun…"
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"I can never forget that night. What exactly did I walk away from? I always wondered, 'What if I stayed, what if I never left the village?' and all I see is the same thing.
If I had stayed, I would have been weaker than I am now.
I wouldn't be able to face my brother in battle.
To avenge my clan.
But if I had stayed, I would have been with her.
Her eyes, her hands, her warm smile, everything about her was wonderful, I couldn't deny the fact that I had some kind of feeling for her.
If I had stayed, I wonder…
Would I still be with you…
Sakura?"
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About two hours before…
Sakura sighed softly and ran a hand through her pink silken locks. The wind blew faintly, the smell of fresh flowers wafting on the breeze. The field she was sitting in was wonderful. Not only was the clearing beautiful but it was located far away from her teammates. Not that she didn't like their company, it was just that she wanted to leave Naruto and Sai alone. Sai was in the middle of sketching and bonding with Naruto. Yamato went in search of a larger clearing to build a house. Kakashi was up to his nose in perverted nonsense. So basically, Sakura went on her own so she could find her center. She rose from her seat on a large rock and spun around in the field, laughing and dancing round and round. After a while, she collapsed, eyes closed and arms spread out.
"This feels so good…"
A shiver ran down her spine and her eyes flashed open.
'What was that seishou a minute ago… it was unfamiliar…' (AN: "Seishou" is spirit energy, or basically a form of chakra used to sense others.)
Then the seishou came back to her.
"Sasuke?"
It came out like a whisper.
"No… It's couldn't be… could it?"
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'I knew I sensed someone around here…'
He picked up his pace, eager to see the person who carried such a familiar chakra. It was strange. In these parts, nobody from Konoha should be around. He could tell that the chakra belonged to someone he knew or had seen somewhere. It was getting stronger.
"I shouldn't reveal myself to whoever it is. I'll have to conceal my chakra."
He performed a jutsu that masked his chakra flow and proceeded onward. Finally, he reached his destination. He crept behind a tree and peered into the area. Someone was lying on the ground.
'What the hell? Who is that?'
Before he could guess, the figure sat up abruptly and looked in his direction. His eyes went wide and his breath caught, not wanting to be spotted, though it already looked like he had.
'Sakura-chan…'
Sakura was staring directly at him but her face made no expression. He decided to peer around again to see her.
"Who's there?"
His head immediately snapped back.
Sakura stood up.
Sasuke felt sweat drip down his neck.
She began to walk towards him.
Out of his peripheral vision he could see her getting closer and closer.
And then,
She saw him.
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Present…
He turned away from her, not wanting to make contact with her tearing eyes. It pained him to see her like that.
"I still don't understand! Explain yourself for once!"
"Keep your voice down…"
"No! Not anymore!"
Her fists pummeled his chest in anger, her head shaking and tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Why did you leave me?!"
Sasuke wanted to die. The sorrow in her voice was enough to through him off a cliff to his death. He deserved it.
"Sakura…"
He couldn't find words to answer her. Again. Her head pressed against his chest, causing him to jump a little, but ease himself into an embrace. As much as he didn't want to, she needed to be held be someone. Her suffering was too much. And it was all his fault.
"Why? Why… why… why… why did you go? Why…" Her voice came out in distressed sobs, the "whys" fading from her hoarse throat. Sasuke muttered words in her ear, trying to calm her down but failing miserably.
"Sakura… hush, please."
"No! No I won't stay quiet!"
Her fingers gripped onto his back, the nails digging into his white haori. Then her fingers loosened. She began to fall towards the ground. Sasuke kneeled and allowed her to sit and sob into his haori.
"I loved you with all my heart… I truly did… why Sasuke? Why didn't you love me?"
She whispered it softly. It broke his heart, or whatever he had left of it. She had suffered because of his selfishness.
"Sakura I-"
Then, a roll of thunder boomed in the sky. Sasuke looked up to see gray, thick clouds. Droplets of rain began to fall on the pair.
"Sakura I never forgot… what you said to me that night…"
"Then why did you leave? Why didn't you pay any attention to me the last time we met? If you truly cared you would of said something to me!"
"You wouldn't believe how much I…"
His voice trailed off. Sakura looked up at him.
"Sasuke?"
"I was always jealous of you two. You and Naruto."
Sakura looked astonished.
"You were so normal. Free spirited, kind, funny, though you could get annoying. You were so lucky. I had decided to ostracized myself from everyone around me up until I joined Team 7. And I never regretted it."
I
hate it, you're always smiling.
Such a strong, cute and popular
person.
Sakura couldn't believe his words.
"You? Jealous of the likes of me? It was vise versa in my case. I envied you and Naruto. Your friendship and the way you two would sync up in battle. I could never be like that. I was too weak… you said it yourself…"
I
hate it, I am slow, a dunce.
No one needs me at all...
You're
always skilled and don't seem to have weak points.
I'm sure you
often make fun of people like me.
"… you were so distant. Even Naruto said you were someone he could never understand. We couldn't catch up to you. It hurt so much when you left. After all we went through, you just left like that."
Sasuke pushed a strand of wet hair from her face.
"Forgive me."
"No."
"Please, forgive me."
"No…"
He looked at her pleadingly.
Actually,
I want to try talking to you.
I think, maybe we can become
friends.
"I loved you more than any girl at the academy did. Even more so than Ino. But you didn't notice me. I even broke off my friendship with Ino because of our rivalry in trying to see who would win your heart first… but it wasn't meant to be I guess."
Sasuke
let his arms drop to the arms. He touched the cold skin coated in
water and felt her shiver.
"Sakura,
everything about you is wonderful… but I was blind to your plight.
You cared too much for me, and got your heart broken. How I
sometimes wished that I could be the one to comfort you rather than
Naruto. I envy him."
You,
whom I've always envied,
Were trembling by yourself, crying hurt.
Sakura's hands gently caressed his cheek, a finger tracing over his cold, trembling lips. Since when was he so vulnerable. Did he let his guard down around her? It still was her mission to apprehend him. She could kill him now if she wanted to. She should have.
"I needed to leave Sakura. To get stronger,"
She bit her lip. That word again. Strength.
"What is strength to you Sasuke-kun?"
"What do you mean?"
"When you attain such 'strength', what do you get in return. Misery. Lonesome."
Sasuke's eyes took on a darker tone.
"I need that strength to defeat him. I need to avenger my clan, Sakura. It comes first. I would sacrifice anything, even my sanity, in order to obtain such power."
"So what happens if you do kill Itachi? Huh? Do you get a prize? Maybe a trophy, or a little hat? No, Sasuke, you'll get nothing! You'll be all alone and it will be too late to come back to us! Revenge is bittersweet, admit it."
"Even so, I have to do it!"
"Why bury yourself in the past! Look towards the future?"
"I can't! It's not like you saw your whole family slaughtered before your eyes! You never experienced what I did!"
Sakura gasped. His voice echoed for a bit. He muttered an apology for being so loud and turned away from her.
Hey,
have you ever been scared and all alone?
I guess everyone can be
miserable and weak...
If I had more courage,
I would've hugged
you tight.
"If it's so hard for you Sasuke, then why didn't you let someone help you? I wanted to help you. I so deeply wanted to hold you and tell you that everything would be alright, but you wouldn't allow it. You thought that would make you weak."
Her arms regained their strength as they wrapped around him. He tensed up.
"Why
didn't you let someone hold you, Sasuke? Why did you isolate
yourself?"
"I'm
certain we can talk about a lot of things." And,
Little by
little our time ran out.
Why? I can't hear you, you're breaking
up.
I was having such a good time too...
"Sakura, that's enough. I have to go…"
"Why do you keep running from me, Sasuke-kun?"
"I-I didn't run away. I never run away."
"Yeah right…"
Sasuke pushed her backwards a bit to see her eyes.
"Since when did I ever run away?"
Then she did something that startled him.
"Never. I was kidding."
She grinned brightly. It was forced. He could see the struggle with it evident in her eyes.
You,
who could weep when scared,
Smiled all the time,
For show
only.
Sakura then said something that made him hold back the urge to sob himself.
(AN:
Sakura is saying this part of the song) Just imagine it and you won't be alone.
"Hey,
I've been scared and all alone, too.
Miserable with my
insignificance.
If I had more courage...
I would've hugged you
tight.
Close off
your ears, and see with your heart.
See, who will have tears
today?"
Sasuke stood her up on her feet and let his arms drop. They stared at each other for a moment before saying some departing words.
"Don't worry, I won't tell Naruto about our encounter."
Sasuke nodded, looked at his feet, then turned around to leave.
Hey,
have you ever been scared and all alone?
I guess everyone can be
miserable and weak...
If I had more courage,
I would've hugged
you tight.
Hey, I've been scared and all alone, too.
Miserable
with my insignificance.
If I had more courage,
I would've
hugged you tight.
Sakura looked back and then swallowed her pride. She ran back and embraced him from behind. Sasuke gasped quietly and turned to face her. He felt her hand caress his cheek again and this time, his lips touched his. It was a chaste kiss. Innocent and short. She blushed and turned around, not wanting to face him. Sasuke's mouth curled into a small smile. She turned her head to the side, not completely looking at him, and spoke loud enough for him to hear.
"Hey,
Everyone
can feel like they're alone.
That's why we get scared.
There's
nothing to be afraid of, though.
I will be there to hug you
tight."
"Dakishimentai, Sasuke."
And with that, they departed, perhaps for the last time.
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Well that's it. Please leave a review, constructive criticism is acceptable! Thanks for reading!
