This was written as part of another writing challenge from Mesmachromatic. We are making each other do oneshots of our most favorite and least favorite pairings. This is my fic for her favorite: Balthier/Vaan.

I do not own FF12 or the characters.

It seemed to be an unusually warm morning. Normally, Vaan felt rather frozen when he woke up, no matter how many covers he had gathered throughout the night. Today, though, the blankets upon blankets upon blankets seemed to work…wait….he hadn't grabbed any blankets the night before…

More than a little scared, Vaan remained perfectly still and slowly opened his eyes. For a second he felt relief to see he was still in his room aboard the Strahl, but panic began to sneak up again when he realized there was some sort weight on his back…a rather large weight…a rather large human sized shape…..with a rather uncomfortable….something poking into him…it felt…rather bulgy…

Vaan shifted a bit, trying to figure out what he could possibly be feeling. When the realization suddenly hit him, Vaan jumped out of bed with the loudest scream possible. Waking up from the sudden loss of the warmest and most comfortable pillow he'd ever had, Balthier grumbled and sat up on the bed.

"Whuh?" the sky pirate asked, reaching up to scratch his head. Clearly, he wasn't fully awake yet.

"What are you doing here?!" Vaan yelled at him. He had backed all the way one to the other side of the room, as far from his bed as possible.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? This is my room." Balthier said, yawning and blinking at Vaan, "…Why are you here?"

"Because it's not your room! It's my room!" Vaan shouted.

"…No…" Balthier told him, looking around. "It's mine…I distinctly remember going to my room after marking my maps…I can't be in your room…the leading man never makes mistakes…"

"I doubt it's a mistake." Vaan grumbled.

"What?"

"Admit it! You came here last night to molest me!" Vaan suddenly accused him.

"Molest you?!" Balthier shouted back. "Where is that coming from?!"

"The hard on in your pants!"

Silence fell over the two at that moment as Balthier took a moment to finally fully wake up and look at his crotch.

"…Ah…hello there…" Balthier said, it seemed, to the muscle between his legs.

"See?!" Vaan said. "You were rubbing up against me when I woke up!"

"Was not!" Balthier yelled.

"How would you know?! You were asleep!"

"I…I just wasn't!" Balthier said. "You must have been wiggling around!"

"Was not!" Vaan lied.

"Well how do you explain this then?" Balthier said, motioning to the very obvious bulge.

"You're a pervert." Vaan said.

"No. If I was a pervert," Balthier explained, "I would be asking you to come over and take care of it right now."

"…Are you?" Vaan asked.

"…Hypothetically speaking, if I did, would you?"

Once again, there was an awkward silence as the question hung between the two.

Finally, "…You really are a pervert," Vaan answered.

"I said hypothetically!" Balthier defended himself.

"Just get out!" Vaan yelled.

"And if I don't?" Balthier asked.

"I'll get Ashe and Fran." Vaan threatened. So, with a sigh, Balthier was forced to leave before the little rat used the emotions of women against him. Still grumbling, the sky pirate made the walk back to his room and opened the door. On his bed, apparently waiting for his return, was Fran.

"Another failed attempt?" she asked him, standing up.

"I honestly have no clue what you could be talking about Fran." Balthier a told her, stretching on his bed with a yawn, tiredness once again taking its hold on him.

"Of course you don't." Fran told him, leaving the room as Balthier drifted back off to sleep.