Author's Notes: This is my first fanfiction so be kind. This chapter is very short because it's the first and I just wanted to get it out there and started, the others will be longer and certainly a lot more entertaining. Reviews would be amazing, I want all the constructive criticism you guys can offer to me.

"Dude explain to me again how you got pulled into this?" Jeff asked, lounging across his bed and texting, his brow furrowed in apparent frustration at screen of his iphone. Nick wasn't one hundred percent sure the blond was listening or particularly cared about the intricate details of the suffering he was about to endure, it seemed more like he was making conversation in order to fill the silence between them that had lasted for at least five minutes now, Nick, although feeling a little ignored, wasn't a fan of the quiet himself and was happy to oblige.

"Right, Kurt and this girl were going shopping but Blaine decided he had to go with them for some reason," He was interrupted by Jeff's small mutter of "Clingy bastard" from across the room and he chuckled slightly before continuing, "No shush, something about them going out afterwards or something. Anyway this girl doesn't want to be the third wheel so I've got to go and erm… keep her company."

Jeff grunted back in response, his eyes still fixed intently on his phone, his expression filled with increasing anger and incredulity at whoever it was he was texting. Nick pulled a t-shirt from the drawer that was open in front of him and slipped it on, he admired himself a little in the mirror and turned back towards his friend narrowing his eyes in a mixture of concern and curiosity, "Who're you texting anyway?" he guessed what the answer would be as the words left his lips and wasn't sure why he'd bothered asking "Laura?".

Jeff threw down the phone dramatically and sat up, nodding at his best friend, his eyes still filled with rage. "Apparently I'm a shit boyfriend because I forgot her cousin's birthday, really though, her COUSIN'S birthday. I don't even know her cousin's fucking name or gender let alone date of fucking birth," he ran a hand through his blonde hair, looking back at the phone accusatorily, as though it were the technological incarnation of his girlfriend.

Nick laughed at his friend before checking the time on his own phone and pulling on his jacket, "Well I'm going now, text me if you break up with the she-devil and I might see if I can get some champagne or something", he forced a laugh, trying to make sure his words didn't sound quite as serious as they felt, before turning and heading out of the dorm door and into the surprisingly quiet corridors of Dalton Academy.

Nick still wasn't sure he could cope with the next few hours, firstly he was going to be in the presence of what he and the other warblers had affectionately nicknamed a Klaine love tornado, this involved the couple holding hands, eyefucking constantly and worst of all sharing every single one of their private jokes. Sure, Nick loved Blaine in the same family-like way he loved most of the other warblers, and he liked Kurt a lot, but watching them act like the perfect couple they were was not high on Nick's list of things he wanted to do with his night.

And then there was the girl, he tried to remember her name, Ferrari or something like that? Not that it mattered, what mattered was that she had a vagina, a vagina that Blaine clearly hoped Nick would one day insert his penis into; and that right there was the source of all of his problems. Vaginas. Not the anatomy itself, but everyone who had one had somehow fucked about with his life; his mother had done too many things to mention, his sister had managed to get herself pregnant at nineteen and stolen the slither of attention Nick had been getting, most of his teachers were female, this Ferrari girl was going to suck all enjoyment from his evening and Laura. Oh god Laura. Nick wasn't a particularly murderous soul, but he had planned the end of that bitch so many times it wasn't funny. He wasn't jealous, why would he be jealous? She was only dating his best friend, dating and kissing and touching inappropriately, Jeff drenched in sweat while he looked into her eyes hungrily and kissed her passionately- no he wasn't jealous, he didn't want to get naked and frolic in a meadow of roses with his best friend as they fed each other strawberries dipped in chocolate. He wanted absolutely none of that and he didn't picture any of these things before he slept, he just disliked the girl because of the way she was treating his best friend, he disliked her selfish attitude and her lack of appreciation of the relationship she had somehow managed to wiggle her slimy disgusting self into.

Nick was pulled out of his thoughts rather unceremoniously as he walked straight into a door, he was thankful the door was wooden and not glass as he opened it and saw Kurt's car parked directly in front of the entrance of Dalton academy. Kurt Hummel was leant against the car looking as stylish as ever, Blaine and a plump black girl he presumed was Ferrari were sat inside, all looking a little bored. Kurt's head snapped up at the sound of footsteps and grinned widely "Get in loser we're going shopping!" He shouted, before adding excitedly "I've always wanted to say that."

Nick stared at Kurt, utterly confused, "I have no idea what you're on about but okay", and he wrenched the door of the car open climbing into the back seat and sitting himself next to his 'date' for the night. "Er, hi Ferrari isn't it?" he said, smiling at the girl and offering a hand for her to shake, the girl said nothing, ignoring his outstretched hand and glared at Nick with a look that he took to mean 'no it is fucking not', while Kurt and Blaine laughed hysterically. This was going to be a long evening.

The car journey to the mall was the most awkward twenty minutes Nick had ever experienced, and this included the hour long drive to the vets with his mother after he'd tried to clean the cat with bleach. Kurt and Blaine were sat in the front of the car chatting animatedly while Nick stared out of the window trying to ignore the piercing gaze of the girl whose name he'd discovered to be Mercedes, she seemed to be judging every inch of him, inspecting the offering Kurt had brought for her.

The silence between the two continued for a good portion of the trip, until Kurt clearly decided he was going to force his friends to talk, he peered at them through the mirror, "So… you two probably have a lot in common," he said smiling encouragingly.

Nick took this as his cue to make small talk with Mercedes, something he had never been particularly talented at, "er yeah, I mean we both have glee clubs don't we? Well not have per say but we're in one, so erm we both sing… do you do anything else?" He asked, his voice rising in pitch and pace as he found himself rambling slightly, he cursed himself mentally for being so socially awkward and put on his best friendly smile.

Mercedes returned the smile as she flicked her hair and batted her eyelashes, Nick almost asked her if she had something in her eye but thought better of it, "Just glee club really," she replied, shifting in her seat to face Nick fully, "What about you? Do you play football?" her voice was so hopeful that he felt a little ashamed at his lack of sporting prowess.

"No, sorry"

"Soccer?"

"Erm no"

"What do you play then?" She sounded annoyed; Nick suspected she would have a few quiet words with Kurt over his choice of date later.

"…Flute?" He offered with a shrug. The conversation seemed to terminate immediately at this point and the awkward silence resumed for the rest of the journey.